Why did god have to rape a poor virgin?

[boozehound420]

We've all heard the story.

A poor virgin named mary got impregnated by god without her knowing about it (aka date rape) Then gave birth to the baby jesus.

So for a christian, its now ok to to artificialy inseminate the virgin of your choosing. Sweet deal eh?

For that matter, why the fuck would god even do that. Wouldnt it make more sense to just create jesus as a full grown human. I thought he can do whatever he wants, create something from nothing.

ya, that definately sounds like un-consensual sex to me...

You'd think she'd remember having sex with a god...maybe he has a small wang.

[truckfixr]

Technically, doesn't that make Jesus a bastard?

[boozehound420]

quote:Originally posted by truckfixr:

Technically, doesn't that make Jesus a bastard?

Well, god created the second half of his DNA from scratch into a sperm. Then slipped it into one of mary's eggs. So god is his daddy.

These christian stories are fucked up when you actually think about it. God is a fucken crack head. Oops i mean people 2000 years ago making this shit up resemple crack heads.

[This message has been edited by boozehound420 (edited 04-03-2007).]

[jackketch]

quote:Originally posted by truckfixr:

Technically, doesn't that make Jesus female ?

fixed.

(think about it).

[JesuitArtiste]

quote:Originally posted by boozehound420:

We've all heard the story.

A poor virgin named mary got impregnated by god without her knowing about it (aka date rape) Then gave birth to the baby jesus.

So for a christian, its now ok to to artificialy inseminate the virgin of your choosing. Sweet deal eh?

For that matter, why the fuck would god even do that. Wouldnt it make more sense to just create jesus as a full grown human. I thought he can do whatever he wants, create something from nothing.

Going from a biblical POV , she'd probaly welcome the chance to have a child of God's. I mean, it's literally the son of God, you gonna get some kudos for that shit. Look at the veneration she goes through, it was more or less a ticket straight to heaven. If God came to me and said I could have his Child I'm fairly sure I'd say yes, I may be lacking a womb, but fuck it, I'll give birth to the child of God.

If we took it as realistic, then it is possible she was raped, or perhaps just had pre-marital sex and got pregnant. In this case it's just your standard birth, only some woman has had some kind of coping strategy that involves belief in God imprgnating her. Can't really blame her, can you, I mean, she was raped.

If you can find a passage in the Bible saying we can artificially seminate any virgins we can find... Well.... I'll just have shake my head.

No, it wouldn't make more sense to make a fully grown Jesus, the whole point was that he led a mortal life, as a human. It was important that he grew up from a child, to an adult. If Jesus had just burst into existence I'm fairly sure sime weird shit would go down.

Anyway, I'm off. Bye.

[Hare_Geist]

No, no, you see, she banged the milkman and Noah, feeling bad for the kid, decided to stay with Mary but to hide his shame, he started telling people she was impregnated by God.

[truckfixr]

Noah???

[Hare_Geist]

quote:Originally posted by truckfixr:

Noah???

I just spotted that myself. X-D

Damn, I never said I was good with names!

So why do Christians hate artificial insemination?

Because G-O-D was feelin an itch in the ol' loins?

Of course the bible is messed up from our POV. obviously morality doesn't spawn from it, so 2000 years ago it wasn't that big a deal.

Well if god is everywhere...then maybe his penis is everywhere? So he can rape at will. I'm workin on it...

[Hexadecimal]

Because virgins have tighter pussies, duh.

Why would God want to rape some loose slut?

[Zay]

Does that mean when jesus came out he popped mary's cherry?

[ArmsMerchant]

Hey, it worked for Zeus!

He, you may recall, invented golden showers.

SO much fun to toy with myths.