As some of you may know, I don't want a family. I don't want a wife. I wouldn't mind a good woman in my life, but I don't care much for all that religious and political mumbo jumbo. My main goal in life is to have a son that I can be very close to, and pass on my wisdom.

I didn't spend too many moments with my father, but I do know that those we did spend camping/fishing/etc together were some of the best times I've had. I want my son to experience that, and more. It may sound sort of desperate, but I want to be his big brother, so to speak (maybe I'm just not thinking straight, I normally hate kids).

I just want to know what everyone thinks of this. I don't really want a family. I'd make a terrible father and husband, and I wouldn't be able to balance job and family, or provide them with everything I wanted.

So my goal of fathering a son, maybe with minimal motherly influences... Just how retarded does it seem? It's sort of something I wish I had as a kid (and even now). I'm not saying that I'd chose between my mom and dad, but it would have been different if I had only my dad, with my sister/mother/other family not playing such a large role.

What are your opinions?

(I know this is totse, but this isn't HB, let's keep the PEDO comments to a minimum)

An admirable goal.

You could adopt. Or just be a really involved uncle, godfather, neighbor...

I donno.

Edit: Or knock up/divorce a girl then go for full custody.

-F☺rd



[This message has been edited by Ford Prefect (edited 04-02-2007).]

The problem isn't HOW, it's should I? And WHY?

I'm not thinking straight (4 labs due in 6 hours, started neither), but I have been thinking about it. There are times I want a family. There are times I don't. Mostly, this is what I want. To be the one "cool" parent, so to speak. Of course if my kid turns out emo or something I'd probably hang myself, but that's another story...

You want to be a good parent. Why would you need to rationalize that to yourself?

It seems to me that you do want a family. You want a son, you want a good women in your life.

Sure you don't want all the socio-political accouchements that come with a marriage but things may change. Maybes someday you’ll find a gal you love and do want to be legally bound to her for the rest of your life.

Or maybe not. You could still have a family without the government recognizing it as a typical family structure.

But then again I doubt I’m thinking straight either.

-F☺rd

Wow, I've never met some one with the exact same goal as me:

Some one who doesn't want a wife, but wants kids.

It's my life's ambition as well. But I want to have kids much later in life, so I have lots of life experience under my belt.

Do you have a shitty father? Do you have this goal to prove to your self that you have what it takes to raise a better child than your parents did? Basically, are you trying to prove that you're a better father than your father was?

If my child turns out like me, I failed. If he comes out a better person, even by a little bit, then I succeeded. Hopefully each generation will get a little bit better. Human progression.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

Of course if my kid turns out emo or something I'd probably hang myself, but that's another story...

My friends always think I'm joking around when I say this "I don't care if son becomes an emo, an interior decorator, a queer or a classical dancer...fuck, he could even develop a mental disorder and I'd still be proud of him. The only thing that will make me ashamed of him is if he becomes a vegetarian". I'm serious, I'd be heart broken.

Looked into the YMCA big brother program?

"So my goal of fathering a son, maybe with minimal motherly influences..."

Sounds pretty selfserving to me.

quote:Originally posted by InCasinoOut:

"So my goal of fathering a son, maybe with minimal motherly influences..."

Sounds pretty selfserving to me.

I meant that because I'm not averse to women, I just don't want a wife in that sense.

On the issue of my parents, I had good parents, I guess. Just not always. I remember I brought home an 83% report card once and my mother started crying. I think around this point I realized I needed to move out. I mean, I give them credit and all, we lived through some harsh times, but I just feel better on my own than I do with them, and I don't think a family is supposed to make you feel that way. More my mom/aunt than anything else.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

I remember I brought home an 83% report card once and my mother started crying.

My friend's mum does the exact same thing. But he got an enter score of 94 (out of 99.95) and she cried. But your mum was probably doing it in your best interest. Guilt tripping. It sure as hell worked on my friend. Did it work on you?

Find another man you can love & raise the son with him. The boy will soon get used to having 'two dads'.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

My friend's mum does the exact same thing. But he got an enter score of 94 (out of 99.95) and she cried. But your mum was probably doing it in your best interest. Guilt tripping. It sure as hell worked on my friend. Did it work on you?

Nope.

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Find another man you can love & raise the son with him. The boy will soon get used to having 'two dads'.

Cute.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

My friends always think I'm joking around when I say this "I don't care if son becomes an emo, an interior decorator, a queer or a classical dancer...fuck, he could even develop a mental disorder and I'd still be proud of him. The only thing that will make me ashamed of him is if he becomes a vegetarian". I'm serious, I'd be heart broken.

You're a funny Man arquin; you don't deserve a family.

quote:Originally posted by Atticus_Ellis:

You're a funny Man arquin; you don't deserve a family.

Woah woah woah! What's with the hostillity to innocent, lovable, little old me?

Firstly: Man isn't capitalized.

Secondly: Atticus_Ellis...hmm...rings a bell. Atticus_Ellis, OH I remember now! You're that dude who kissed a girl and every one started teasing her for it.

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/028384.html

YOU STFU! You do not have the right to type my name with your dirty little faggot fingers!

How old are you? You're probably just too young to be thinking about having a family. Don't worry about it.

20ish. I don't think I'm too young. My grandpa got married at ?24, I think? and my dad at like 27. This doesn't mean anything, of course, but it's certainly not too early to think about (and stress over) it.

My life goal is to acquire a girlfriend that has no qualms about being tied up, spanked, and fucked in the ass. Hard.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

20ish. I don't think I'm too young. My grandpa got married at ?24, I think? and my dad at like 27. This doesn't mean anything, of course, but it's certainly not too early to think about (and stress over) it.

I guess you're not too young to think about it, but unless you're planning on having kids tomorrow there's no need to stress about it...