Ok so my girl is a little crazy.

Today we went to the bank together and when she found out she had spend a couple hundred more than she had thought, she started crying. It wasn't bad though, she was working it out. Right afterwords she had to go to work.

So I stop by her work and she's a fucking mess. Her face is puffy and red, she's all wet 'cause it was raining, she looked so sad and worked up at the same time. She said her boss only gave her 9 hours this week and she needs to work more to make more money.

She does this a lot. She has a prescription for xanax but they don't really work because she has a tolerance from abusing them.

What can I do to help her? As her bf I feel I should help her when she's feeling down. But what can I do? I don't want this to be like a "tire fire" - where there's nothing to do but sit back and watch it burn - I want to help. What can I say to help her feel better?

And yes, I know, she's crying over the most retarded shit. So spare me those remarks.

My girlfriend has lost it over less. Ladies is crazy man, get that dirt of ya shoulders

I had a girlfriend like that once. Painful as it can be, the best thing I felt I could do for her was not allow her to use me as a crutch. You have to let her out in the proverbial open.

Tell that bitch thats its called "life" and thats the way it is. Shes irresponsible, and cries about it. Dump that bitch.

quote:Originally posted by gmail:

Dump that bitch.

But I like her a lot.

she made a mistake let her deal with it on her own. we make mistakes for a reason, to learn from them.

Be there for her, but not so you're living her life. She has to figure it out.. I'm just wondering how old you two are?

Since shes you're gf I believe you should help her with her problems and how she can work them out. I'm not talking about helping like.. giving her money all the time.

Speak with her boss maybe.. it's what I'd do.

[This message has been edited by robyextreme (edited 03-26-2007).]

Thanks for the advice guys/girls, but...

THIS GIRL HAS THE WORST MODE SWINGS!

She's already in a good mood (horny as fuck ).

There is no magic word to calm someone down. Some people just react that way. Let her know that you care and are there for her completely.

You could always take her out for ice cream. Ice cream is happy.

quote:Originally posted by robyextreme:

I'm just wondering how old you two are?

19, both of us.

quote:Originally posted by robyextreme:

I'm not talking about helping like.. giving her money all the time.

Lol, I'm more broke than she is. She stopped crying when we went to my bank next and found out that I'm negative.

So she's irresponsible with her money, then cries about it like she has no control over it.

She has to stop snivellig and accept responsiblity and not act like someone else is doing all that to her, it's her own actions that did that. Needs less drama and pity and more responsibility. I'd dump her, but I have a low tolerance for people like that.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

There is no magic word to calm someone down. Some people just react that way. Let her know that you care and are there for her completely.

I, too, have a bazillion anxiety problems.. When I have a panic attack like that the best thing anyone could do for me is just leave me alone.. A hug might be nice depending upon how bad I am... but if I'm just crazy, it's best to back off.

I knew a girl that cried for nothing like yours. Last I saw her, she was in a psych ward for youngsters. Even the people watching over them couldn't calm her down when she started bawing so don't bother

There's nothing you can do. It's just the way she is. I'm that way. I used to be way worse when I was younger because I didn't know how to control it as well but I have severe PTSD and anxiety disorder. I have panic attacks all the time. You really just need to learn how to manage them on your own.

The most you could probably do right now is discuss medication with her. May be she needs to try something else. Low doses of Seroquil really helped me control the attacks. They kick in quickly and aren't TOO habit forming.

Cheers,

Lost

I've had anxiety and panic attacks. It was a bitch. No crying though. Just be supportive. My shit worked itself out after a while, it might be the same with hers. If you love her, stay with her and support her. Help her try to get better and help her realize that medication won't help her if she doesn't help herself. She'll be very very grateful and this will most likely lead to her getting better. If you dont love her, then break up with her because you got yourself into something too big to handle for someone you dont care about.

Slap that bitch.

Kill her and eat her brains.

... Dude, trust me, it works every time.

Wtf.

She 'needs' more money.

And spends over hundreds than she thinks she does.

Is she a crack addict?

Well, you say she's abusing the Xanax... so maybe get her some help for that? I don't think you as the boyfriend can really do anything but get her professional help. She sounds a bit too crazy to be handled out in the wild.

Smack her and tell her to shut the fuck up.

Happens to my girlfriend every once in a while. I usually sympathize with her that she's sad but don't add fuel to the fire. I'll give her a hug and try to calm her down, but be pretty honest and stern about my opinion about the topic.

Like in that bank scenario. She's freaking out about really nothing? Hug her, kiss her, whatever, calm her down...but DON'T let her think that it's alright to cry over something like that. Put it in perspective...just be like "It's really not that big of a deal, you'll get more money eventually." Keep playing it off like it's not an issue (because well...its really NOT an issue) and she will soon get over it too.

I've found that's the best method. You're mitigating her frustration (and being a caring guy), but you're not giving in to her attention whoring. It's a "Yeah that sucks, sucks that you're sad, now get over it" method. If you keep this attitude consistently (and I mean every time she acts up do it this way) soon she will start to change her ways to. I mean, she's not a test animal or anything, but its pretty much behavioral shaping. You're being kind to her, but reinforcing her getting over it quickly.

Mike

quote:Originally posted by Cozy Amnesia:

Thanks for the advice guys/girls, but...

THIS GIRL HAS THE WORST MODE SWINGS!

She's already in a good mood (horny as fuck ).

Ohh mode swings, those are easy to fix. Simply take her to location of purchase and take her to the service department. They should be able to fix that happy/sad switch for you in no time.

But really, is someone you love is abusing benzos you might want to think about getting her some help with that. Ever think these foul moods could be the work of benzo withdrawals. I remember when I used to take lots of benzos I was always in super shitty moods when I wasn't barred out. I've seen benzo abuse do this to more than a few people, even with moderate use. My best suggestion for you is to be supportive without letting it effect your life too much. Best of luck.

Peace

When she does that, calmly explain that that type of behaviour is not acceptable for a 4 year old, let alone a 19 year old, and that she needs to calm the fuck down. When she's calm, you will talk to her, but not before.

Then just go for a walk while she calms down.

She'll either dump your arse, or calm down enough to talk. Either way, you have acted like the grown up, and not given into her needy ways. If she dumps you, then she really is just a selfish bitch, and you are better off alone. But if she does want to talk when she calms down, you can both talk and try to sort things out.

Gotta be prepared to gamble everything to be happy in love, chump!

Cheers, Chump.

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

I, too, have a bazillion anxiety problems.. When I have a panic attack like that the best thing anyone could do for me is just leave me alone.. A hug might be nice depending upon how bad I am... but if I'm just crazy, it's best to back off.

Nah sometimes I get really scared and over-paranoid that my heart will pop out my chest or if I calm down my breathing then I'll suffocate somehow... Which makes it worse...

I'm not really sure what I want, I think I know at the time, but I don't rememebr what I think in detail because I get thoughts go through my head pretty quickly.

quote:Originally posted by Duck In Fog:

Nah sometimes I get really scared and over-paranoid that my heart will pop out my chest or if I calm down my breathing then I'll suffocate somehow... Which makes it worse... So I'm not sure how I'd react if someone just walked off and left me if I hadn't asked them.

I'd probably get more upset and Emo.

I'm not really sure what I want, I think I know at the time, but I don't rememebr what I think in detail because I get thoughts go through my head pretty quickly.

My advice would be to get her to a specialist. They know what drugs to hand out. Yes, I'm serious.