This girl, I've been with her for over a year and a half. I mean, I don't want to sound liek a child, but I don't know how I'm going to go throughout my normal day without her.

I always got mad at her because she was too needy. She needed me to call her in the morning, before class, between class, and after class, before I eat, etc. etc. Now I go throughout my day, flipping open my phone, realizing that I shouldn't call, we're not doing that anymore.

I've never had a relationship with anyone like i did her. I told her everything, we cuddled, money was never a problem, we had our differences and shared our commons. It was great, and we were almost...married.

Now that I'm not in a relationship anymore, I have time for my buds, other women, etc, but all of that feels empty.

Now it feels like I can't operate anything, I can't think, study, I can't even smoke my cigarette without frustration.

Is this IT, TOTSE, is this how it ends? Will it ever get better?

I don't want to sound liek a fucking emo jerkoff, but I've been considering suicide for the past half decade. I've attempted 3 times, always turning back, bitching out. Not long ago, I had a dream that I fell off a plane feet first at a mile or so high. My girlfriend, Michelle, was next to me. I hugged her, I told her I loved her, and instead of landing on my feet and having a slim possibilty of living, I did a 1/2 summersalt and landed head first. I felt myself die, and lose feeling in my limbs, especially my tongue. I felt death.

Now that she's gone, (she was always my excuse to live through an empty life), and that dream came by, death seems so....easy.

I doubt I'm going to killmyself, but that's truly how I feel; I feel empty, helpless, and hopeless. I'm afraid that out of all the obstacles that I've barely gotten through (jail, probation, extreme family problems (my mother tried to hang me), deaths, etc.) It seems like I'm stuck in a hole so deep, that it's a possibility that I wont make it out of this one.

I'm going to hold my head high and try to enjoy my life, but I don't know how long I can stay running on empty.

i dont know whether to leave or smell the weather, but im lighr as a feather and would fuck a stick with tits.

Go over to her place of residence, and secks her good. Now you know what it's like without her, you're the dependent one after all. Anyways, good luck.

Fake it until it's real. That was the only advice I could give myself when I went through a similar experience this past semester.

I dated the same, beautiful woman for the past 2 years and we broke it off suddenly. We'd spend every day together, share classes, sleep in the same bed each night. I hadn't slept in my own dorm room once the entire first semester and half of the second because I'd always be in hers. And then, all at once, it's all on me. It's a horrible position, to have to recover from such a loss, reprioritize everything.

But like I said, all you can do is fake it and hope that through practice it'll become genuine. Go out, interact socially, lie through your teethe to every woman you meet. You're okay if you act that way. Denial, yeah.. I suppose that's what it is. But it'll do you a world better than skydiving and not pulling the cord.

Suicide a quick fix, but there's absolutely no enjoying it's rewards. There's no freedom in suicide. You end yourself, literally. You don't get to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief after you slit your wrists. Best bet, fake it until it becomes a reality. Move away, get a new job, fuck right off and try again. It's a huge gamble from here on out. Some days will be a total waste of your time, but it's all you've got.

time to hit the bottle like it owes you big time.

quote:Originally posted by vilbe:

time to hit the bottle like it owes you big time.

WTF IS THIS ASSHOLES PROBLEM

just because you wanna drink your life away and become a piece of fucking trash doesnt mean he should what you should do is hold your head high and get those thought of suicide out they wont get you anway but a one way trip to misery things may look down and out but they will gey better and dont listen to ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WANNA FUCK THERE LIVES UP LIKE vilbe does.

I'm sorry, that sounds sad.

I don't have any advice, I haven't really had that happen to me...yet.

quote:Originally posted by D-LOC:

just because you wanna drink your life away and become a piece of fucking trash doesnt mean

i didn't say become an alcoholic idiot. i implied altering your conciousness to help sort out problems. sheesh. its worked for millions for thousands of years. get your panties out of your twat.

quote:what you should do is hold your head high and get those thought of suicide out they wont get you anway but a one way trip to misery

sometimes you have to be miserable in life to succed. so he can't handle rejection. millions question life and think suicide. doesn't mean he's being fucking serious [he said it himself].

quote:ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WANNA FUCK THERE LIVES UP LIKE vilbe does.

what are you mrs cleo? you make an awful lot of assumptions based of a sentence [or a post].

quote:Originally posted by xbombae:

I've been considering suicide for the past half decade.[/B]

I know how you feel. Just act like nothing is wrong (in your mind...), and you could just get over this whole thing over time.

Time heals everything.

[This message has been edited by linkofhyrule (edited 03-25-2007).]

Time doesn't heal shit, and fuck, the guy who told me to drink gave me a damn good answer.

Ever since the day I hit maturity and got even the slightest understanding of the world, I was waiting for time to heal my wounds. The only healing I ever had was her. Life was miserable like this before her, and now that she's not in the picture again, things are slowing going back to the ways they were. To reprioritize is to accept failure. The only reason a career, education, or anyhting to do with my future was due to her, directly or indirectly. She was my alcohol, she was my altered state on conciousness, in a good way.

The last time something like this happened, (the loss of a good thing), was either when I got "locked up", and when I lost my "first love". None of those, nothing ever amount to how much stress I'm in now. I knew how much she meant, and it all slipped between my fingertips. When you lose something before you know you have it, it's one thing. Knowing how bad it could be to lose something then actually losing it, is another.

I've drank away my pain for quite some time now, I've lost her for a week now and I've made a +60oz smirnoff disappear (not sure if it's 60 or not, but it's those you know, alcoholic size bottles, maybe 3 litres), and countless wide-mouthed mickeys.

I have a new dog, a stray that I gave a home, and an Iguana. I know it sounds ridiculous, but taking care of those two animals and watching them grow is extremely helpfull.

I hope I don't turn into some halfass save the fuckin' whales liberal now. (joke, a little comic relief. No offense to true liberals, etc.)

So far, for the past +5 years, cigarettes, pool, and alcohol seem to my best buds. Yea, I was a sportsbar kind of guy...I guess I still am...

Be a man. Don't dwell too much, but don't purge your feelings through drugs and shit. The best way to deal with things is through some sort of catharsis/artistic expression. If you can make an interesting read out of it all then write a book about it and get rich then you can buy all of your women.

quote:Originally posted by xbombae:

I don't know how long I can stay running on empty.

Quoting a The Used song is on the way to emo. Do what feels right & don't cut yourself.

I don't listen to the used. I don't even know who they are. I've heard of them like 4 times.

wait, forgot something. fuck you, fagmo.

Totse was a bad idea if you were looking to be consoled. Get drunk and forget push it all out of your head, find some trashy blond screw her brains out and then you will have moved on

Suicide is a pussies way out. You'll hurt everyone else more than yourself.

Remember kids, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

Yeah, do some drugs or drink some alcohol, it's the best way.