[changed the title to make it more specific]

azalie's post made me wonder about the relationship and the responsibilities that older siblings have toward a much younger sibling.

If you have a sibling that is considerably younger than you are, do you find them to be annoying or do you enjoy their company?

How much do they want your attention and to what lengths do they go to get it?

Do you show them affection, much like a mother might? Or do you mostly just want them to go away because they demand too much and you forgot what it was like to be that age?

Do you think they understand that a person needs time to themselves and that does not mean they are being rejected by you?

Does your treatment of them encourage or discourage their behavior in a positive way, or do you think it might actually create bad behavior in response?

Also, what do you think your responsibilities are to watch over and care for your younger siblings? Are you given too much responsibility to the point that it feels like a burden?

Or -

Were you the younger sibling? What were your experiences and impressions of your older sibling? How did that effect the way you valued yourself?



In my family we were all fairly close in age, so I'm wondering how having a much younger sibling, or a much older sibling, affected you as you grew up together.

I wouldn't want to be a younger sibling, and neither would I want to be the older sibling. 1-3 year difference is definately the way to go.

I'm the oldest with two 2 brothers, 18 and 9. When were young the older one and I fought a lot up until I hit puberty, then I stopped fighting with him.

Now, he's one of my best friends. He's one of the limited people I can talk to about crazy shit and he understands (academic-wise and otherwise). Sometimes the personality traits that got under my skin when were little comes out, especially if he's been staying at my house for a while, and I get very annoyed very quickly. But any reaction on my part is a softer version of what it was. I'm able to communicate what's bothering me and talk about it instead of punching him in the head for just sitting there. (HAhaha) Over all, I love to be around my brother when he's not being a weirdo. He's kind of socially inept and I'm the exact opposite so I try to teach him and get him comfortable with social situations and I've been doing that since high school.

His ways of getting my attention or pleasing me are very subtle and fucking AWESOME. Like I said, he's kind of awkward and doesn't really know what people expect of him or which way is up, but when he does something as simple as clean his own dish, I have an ear to ear smile. (There's family issues that goes far beyond this thread that would probably explain better, but I'll just say my mom still does the kids laundry and prepares every piece of food that goes into his mouth, he's very co-dependent for how old he is)

Me and the baby have more of a mother-child relationship. I practically raised him from the day he was born so everytime I see him and pick him up (age 9!) and kiss his cheeks a million times. The older one is uncomfortable with affection so I just hug him when I leave and sometimes give him a kiss on the cheek.

I'm scared of them feeling rejected. They live a half hour away and I make it a point to see them at least once a week. For a while they slept over every weekend and my boyfriend and I would take them for movies and out to eat and stuff, but then they started to miss the point and the youngest started getting bratty. I know he gets upset when he wants to sleep over and I say no, but he knows I love him.

How I treated my brother when we were little has definitely had a bad effect on him. I was a little bitch, I was mean, I was ready to fight all the time. But, since I've stopped, I've done anything I can to amend what I've done. I've directly apologized and the past has been taken care of. Now, I'm trying to influence him the best I can. I told him if he got a job, I'd GIVE HIM my car. He denied it. I told him he could go to Amsterdam with us if he got a job and could pay his way, he's still unemployed. I DID get him into smoking weed, but that's because I'd rather him be in a controlled environment doing these things than the stupid shit I did. He admits his faults and I as hard as I try, I'm still a little harsh on him when he plays right into what he hates. But for the most part, I'd say I'm a positive influence and role model. He trusts me to talk about things that are going on with him and looks to me for help when he needs it.

I feel very responsible for my brothers. I've said it for years, if my parents died, I'd take them in immediately, no matter what I had to give up to support them. My older brother has to stay home on the weekends sometimes and watch the little one, and he HATES my mother for that one.

I love my brothers. They have followed my lead. I have a huge control over my family, I've created schisms, and built bridges and brothers are right behind me the entire time. Through my high school years, I RIPPED on my mom, I didn't listen to her or care what she thought. I did what I wanted. My brothers, now, have a similar attitude of not respecting her at all. The little one talks back and she scrapes at the surface of my brother who's distaste for her comes from her rabid beliefs in Catholicism and how the rest of us are going to hell.

But with the advent of me accepting my mom as she is and loving her even if she doesn't change, I've shown the older more tolerance. There was a time the only words me and my mom had were bitter. It's kind of confusing my brother that we talk like best friends now. He's getting used to it.

I have a brother who's eight years younger than me and i care for him deeply. I never really had anybody to ask for help or advice on anything when i was younger so I try to be as helpful as i can.

Im not really all that close with my parents (actually i wouldn't mind not having to see them for a while) but with my bro, I think even when i move away we should still have some kind of relationship.

Although I do find him annoying at times,(he's only 11), I think its because I learned most of the things I know on my own and I sometimes hate asking others for help even when i know its necessary.

I'm an only child. So I don't have any relevant contributions to this thread.

I've always found it amazing how people put up with siblings. I grew up in a quiet, quite isolated environment and so I really can't imagine how it would be to have a brother or sister.

I used to veer from being glad I was an only child to really wanting that kind of close relationship.

It's a weird one.

Jx

There's three of us. There's just under two years between me and my younger brother and my half sister is eleven years my junior.

She lives with her father, so I only see her maybe three weekends a month and sporadically on holidays.

My sister has always been the apple of my eye, and during her very early years she could do no wrong. While she was growing up and we still lived together, however, she drove me crazy. She was spoiled wheras my brother and I never were. I suppose there was a slight resentment there, but of course she was still my little sister and any idea of ill feeling would be soon swept away.

Now, I feel more like a father figure to her. She respects me more than anyone else, including our mother and her father. Numerous times I have came into the house after work and she will be giving my mother abuse, but as soon as I even look at her she apologises. I have to manipulate this hold I have on her in order to make things easier for my mother, as a long difficult divorce is in place and having my sister live with her father and be spoiled, then come here where we attempt to discepline her for things she knows are wrong but gets off with at home, makes for some pretty emotionally draining and thankless parenting.

As for my brother and I; we fought from a very young age until we left school. We're now best mates.