I'll try to keep this as frank as I can.

Basically, my best friend came to sleep over at my house the other night (she came right after school). She forgot some stuff so we decided to go back to her place to grab it since we live within walking distance of each other.

She went upstairs to get her stuff and I'm down stairs getting some juice when I hear her dad's car stop in the front to drop off her little sister (she's 7 maybe? ). Well, she came in the house crying and I asked her what was wrong and she said that her dad hit her after she screamed because he'd tried to touch her. I didn't really see any marks on her except her red cheeks (I assumed it was because she was crying) and she was in uniform so I didn't notice any bruises.

Well, I'd cleaned her up and sat her on the kitchen bench when my friend came down and I told her what her sister had told me. Then she basically told me that her sister liked making up stories and that this was probably just another one of them. I should probably point out that they have a broken home (her mother commited suicide 2 yrs ago) so they're not that close as a family.

We left for my house, leaving her little sister at hers by herself (she does that alot) and I haven't asked her about it since. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do (if anything), I don't think her dad would have dropped off her little sister if he'd known we were in the house at the time.

Advice?

[This message has been edited by azalie (edited 03-23-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

We left for my house, leaving her little sister at hers by herself (she does that alot) and I haven't asked her about it since. (

A seven year old left home alone? Absolutely irresponsible. As I see it, that alone is something to report to the authorities. If you know that as fact, I think you should start there.

You also need to take your friend aside and have a heart to heart talk with her. That's her little sister and she should be her sister's "keeper". She needs to do that even if she doesn't like her.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

A seven year old left home alone? Absolutely irresponsible. As I see it, that alone is something to report to the authorities. If you know that as fact, I think you should start there.

You also need to take your friend aside and have a heart to heart talk with her. That's her little sister and she should be her sister's "keeper". She needs to do that even if she doesn't like her.

But she only leaves her sister alone when she's the one babysitting. This is the first time I've seen her dad leave her sister home alone.

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

But she only leaves her sister alone when she's the one babysitting. This is the first time I've seen her dad leave her sister home alone.

You need to talk with her about that. As I said she is her responsibility, like it or not. I know it will be hard to talk with her about it, but you might be the only one who knows. So I think you need to take it upon yourself and do what you can to make her understand that.

At the very least, if you're around and she starts to do that then insist that her sister come with you.

1. follow them

2. take pics/evidence

3. post pics

4. profit.

Well...I don't know the truth of the situation. Yet, how very common is it for girls to bring up being abused & to be told to, "Shut your festering gob you tit! You've got a lot of nerve making up stories like that! Now go to your room until you can keep a civil tongue in your head.

The idea!!!"

Apparently girls (boys) are told to "fuck off" quite often if they tell people about it.

Maybe she your friend was right and the girl was making up stories, or you got the wrong end of the stick he might not have touched her where you think.

Adults are often as dumb as kids are supposed to be? What with their not asking what a child actually means, but just thinking that because they're older that they are ever so wise & perceptive.

It's not unknown for these ever so smart A-dull-ts to ask kids leading questions, which kids are quick to interpret & give the filthy 'dull-ts the answers they seem to want, rather than any actual truth.

Older/bigger folks having their well known penchant for pushing younger/smaller people around. Kids often learn to be wary. We are animals at heart & much as we say that we're 'Above all that'?

As if...

>>>Do you think that this woman is just looking for attention?

http://preview.tinyurl.com/3e4yc2



[This message has been edited by moonmeister (edited 03-23-2007).]

This is one of those really nasty ones to call.

You have to be very aware that even the slightest allegation or accusation will ruin not only the father's life but that of the daughter as well, even if it's later shown to have been fully unfounded.

On the other hand you are duty bound to do something if you feel the child may indeed have been abused.

Without wanting to sound in anyway patronising, Can you talk to your own father about this? (NOT your mother). This really is one were experienced adults, who are parents themselves, need to be involved.

If that isn't possible then I would council waiting and watching a bit...see what happens. For example if the girl refuses to visit her father or is always 'ill' when she should etc etc.

And before anyone jumps down my throat about azalie being an adult or almost adult and capable of thinking for herself just let me add:

I am 39, with 3 sons. I've "done it, seen it and had the embarrassing rash to prove it". If I encountered what she had then I would be phoning my dad for his advice.



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 03-23-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

My best friend's dad is a pedo...apparently.

No... 90% of the populace are pedos(Nagayama '95). Your best friend's dad, on the other hand, is a violent, kiddie-raping sack of shit... apparently.

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

She went upstairs to get her stuff and I'm down stairs getting some juice when I hear her dad's car stop in the front to drop off her little sister (she's 7 maybe? ). Well, she came in the house crying and I asked her what was wrong and she said that her dad hit her after she screamed because he'd tried to touch her. I didn't really see any marks on her except her red cheeks (I assumed it was because she was crying) and she was in uniform so I didn't notice any bruises.

I... would take this very, very seriously.

Incidentally...

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

Then she basically told me that her sister liked making up stories and that this was probably just another one of them.

...the only time in my life that I have ever heard this, it happened to be coming from the older brother of a 3yo girl whom I happened to be living with due to a bizzare and random chain of events.

The girl had actually been raped by a couple of her mother's ex-boyfriends between the ages of birth and about two. He... just didn't want it to get out, apparently.

I tend to take "oh, kids just like making up stories" a bit suspiciously, and I'm wondering exactly *what* inspired the father to drop off the kid.

Doesn't mean I believe absolutely everything without doing my own research, but it does mean I don't just take "she just makes up stories" as absolute in some cases, either.



quote:Originally posted by azalie:

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do (if anything), I don't think her dad would have dropped off her little sister if he'd known we were in the house at the time.

Advice?

Having been there more times than I'd have ever wanted a cause...

...do you know this kid? Are you good friends, or distant aquaintances? Are you the person she's comfortable openly discussing things that would get her in trouble, or does she put on a facade like she does for everyone else?

...would she mention something to you if something happened again? Would she tell you exactly what happened, and are you familiar with which acts would be more or less likely to leave medical and forensic evidence?

Do you have a cell phone? Would you be comfortable telling her to call you at all hours of the night or day if she was having a problem in her life, or just wanted to talk? *Could* she contact you without getting in trouble?

These are just some of the questions which come to mind...

Take care of her, okay?

Update

I went over to her house this morning to hang and (thank god) her dad wasn't there. She was making breakfast so I went into the living room to watch tv with her little sister and I made conversation "How's everything?" "nice weather" and basically she didn't talk to me during the whole twenty minutes (maybe a 'yes' or 'no').

I already know this kid's not very talkative (and to answer the above questions, no, we're not close). She's quiet but she's not antisocial or anything (if you ask her questions she'll answer).

So, that was it. We had breakfast and then went shopping (and yeah, I offered to bring her but she didn't want to come and my friend didn't want to take her). It makes me wonder why she said anything in the first place, I suppose she was pretty upset but now that she's told me, she doesn't want to say anything more? Odd?

What am I suppose to do now? Am I still suppose to persue this without anything to go on?

It's not an entirely implausible situation.

You should try to speak to the girl when your friend isn't around. If your friend says she's making it up, she might not want to talk while your friend is there.

Do you know any other adults who know her? If you do, you could speak to them about her. Obviously be subtle, ask if they think she's happy at home, something along those lines, unless you trust them a lot. If possible, ask them to keep an eye on her.

That's a bit of a bastard of a predicament. I hope things work out.

Jx

Ask your friend.