Ok first off...I have no idea how to say 'flatting' or 'flatmate' in American. So basically, to flat means to share a dwelling with someone where you all pay a share of the rent. A flatmate is someone you share a dwelling with (the term doesn't apply to family and the like, more people coming together to share living costs of a house).

Alright so anyway I've finally had a bit of a snap at my flatmates over the whole noise past midnight deal that kinda fucks me off. Basically I don't really care about noise during the day but shit when I'm trying to sleep bugs me. So it's been 'recommended' I move out.

This isn't the first place where people have had a problem with me and wanted me to move. Last flat I was in for 6 months. I've been here about 9. This is pretty common for someone flatting right? to not get on with people you live with and have them want you to move? or am I just fucking impossible and should I find my way to the nearest lighthouse?

I always pay the rent, clean up after myself, etc. I am not overly social though. I tend to just keep to myself and not bother making small talk. People don't seem to like that. Yeah. Lemme know your experiences and all the rest.

when I was stationed in okinawa I had a roomate like that he always kept to himself. thats your only problem you should at least try to make small talk or something. we all used to think my roomate was a serial killer cause he always kept to himself and barely talked to us

There's nothing wrong with you wanting to keep to yourself, it's just the guy probably wants a roomate he can be buddies with and get drunk with.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to live with someone I barely know. Your best bet is to find someone like you and not the frat boy type. Living situations are sensitive and unless you like to pack and move your shit twice a year, you should find someone from within your circle to room with.

My college roommate freshman year was black, would blast shitty rap, and tried to masturbate when I was in the room, thinking I wouldn't notice. I would slam the door on the way out every time and he still didn't get the picture. He also had an extremely underage girlfriend who called the room every 20 minutes. He was a complete fucktard and a waste of life.

I was civil to him the whole year, so basically I just dealt with his shit and was glad when it was over. Good luck.

My college roommate freshman year was black, would blast shitty rap, and tried to masturbate when I was in the room, thinking I wouldn't notice. I would slam the door on the way out every time and he still didn't get the picture. He also had an extremely underage girlfriend who called the room every 20 minutes. He was a complete fucktard and a waste of life.

I was nice to him the whole year, so basically I just dealt with his shit and was glad when it was over. Good luck.

its probably you man....I've had a lot of roommates (flatmate to you) over the years. I've had a few who were in your situation, the quiet type who mostly kept to himself in his room, whereas me and the other guys in the apartment partied a lot and got drunk at night. Life was hell for him there I'm sure, but since he was the odd one out who didnt party, and the other 3 guys did, if he wanted shit to change he'd have to move himself out.

it is really not that uncommon.

You live with someone you don`t know. Chances are they are fucktards.

90% of people are idiots, you just continue to move until you find someone normal.

What the fuck is up with totse?

bah!

And yeh... It could be you, man... I don't know *how* antisocial you are. I mean, I know a guy who never talks to anyone voluntarily and always seems to sit in corners listening to his mp3 player... He's weird. I wouldn't want to live with him.

Maybe you're not that bad, and it's them creating the problem. Either way, you're incompatible. You just have to find someone you can live with.

They don't party. I dunno, I make small talk when I'm out in the kitchen once in a while or in the rare occasion they're watching something on TV I wouldn't mind saying...it's just every night they're fucking around outside my room after midnight...hard to get enough sleep, so yeah.

I think I should be more careful and selective with who I flat with next time. Both times I've just kinda been in a rush to get a roof over my head, so it's pretty much been "I can afford this and they don't seem like serial killers".

One of them said I had fits in my room...I can only assume they're referring to my angry grunts and exertions when I do pushups...suppose that does sound a bit dodgy when you can't see what's going on

No worries, its probably your weed, get better weed, also try to make friends with them. Its about respect, if they can respect you, then I'm sure they wouldn't mind doing simple things, such as turning the music down at nite.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

I can only assume they're referring to my angry grunts and exertions when I do pushups...suppose that does sound a bit dodgy when you can't see what's going on

No wonder they "recommended" you leave. Until you can somewhat conform to the norms and values we all have, it probably is best to live by yourself. Good call on the social retardation.

^I can't tell if that's just really dry humour or not

The thumbs up would suggest so, although it's cleverly disguised.

I think your housemates are just pricks. Nothing to do with you being any bad at anything, mate, they're just pricks. Move on and find some people with a good fucking bed time.

I have a mate who lives with 6 cunts who he hates and they have him. One of them came into his room the other day and told him they thought he had aspurges syndrome and was hiding from it.

He is a good bloke, a little affronting sometimes but that is just the way he is. He basically goes to uni and watches top gear, and drinks, pretty normal and has a good group of mates outside the flat.

It is annyoing because he is a such a good dude but he fuckign hates living where he is but can't find anyone else.

It could be worse always man, read or watch "He Died With A Felafel In His Hand"

I think it's normal. I've lived away from home 3 times, and 2 of them didn't work out. And I know tons of people who were friends until they moved in together and then ended up hating each other. So if you weren't even friends with these people before you moved in, it's not surprising that it's not working out.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, just keep looking and you'll find cool roommates (that's North American for flatmates, lol) eventually.

The term in the states is roommate, but people say flatmates here too. Granted they're talking living in a flat together, which is an apartment that has two or more seperate front doors instead of one gate that leads to several doors.

Anyways. You may be a little difficult, but I wouldn't consider this a huge personality flaw unless it starts to get in the way of your personal life. Meaning you start pissing off people you care about. Otherwise, your flatmates are your flatmates. You're obligated to pay the bills, keep shit clean, and not fuck up their shit. Otherwise you're not obligated to like them or be liked by them. Of course, polite chat here and there helps keeps the wheels greased when you're living with people, but if you don't feel like it, you don't have to.

I gather you're rather young, like early to mid 20's? I imagine this problem will probably go away if you get some older more seasoned roommates. But, yea, if it keeps happening over and over again you might want to seek counseling just to make your life easier.

Cheers,

Lost

I had a puerto rican room-mate that would have phone sex with his girl everynight kind of disturbing, my suitemates where two crazy white kids one was alright we used to kick it all the time the other was kind of a douche bag and kept to himself for the most part

after they left i had a crazy mexican room-mate that was insane he was cool we got along great but our suite-mate this time was really quiet and weird, we were scared he was going to kill us at night

third room-mate was a crazy white kid named chuck I seriously thought he was a serial killer or just a twisted fuck, but he turned out to be one of the best roommates

dont know what relevance this has but just thought i'd share it

I'd like to know more about what the problems between you & the other flatmates are. "Noise after midnight" doesn't exactly explain everything. What was it that you complained about, how did you raise the point, how did they react?

Like, which end of the spectrum was it at:

From

"Hey guys, could you maybe not blast death metal at 120dB at 1am. On weeknights? Maybe?"

to

"OH MY FUCK SOMEONE LISTENED WITH HEADPHONES TO AN MP3 PLAYER AT 00:01 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT THIS IS UNACCEPTIABLE"

[This message has been edited by 256 (edited 03-23-2007).]