My boyfriend and I work together on saturdays at a local disco. Usually he came in at 6pm, but they just changed his hours so now he comes in at 9pm. In any case, it's Saint Patricks day, we're totally slammed, and at 9pm everyones is looking at me going "Where the fuck is he?"

I trying to bring as many glasses as I can in, I'm washing them as fast as I can, then running out and working more, etc... Finally they insist I go around the corner to his apartment so I run over there and ring the buzzer. Mind you, the buzzer is very loud and I rang it for nearly ten minutes. I tried throwing pennies at his window and suddenly the light in the front room turned off.

Fine. Fuck it. He doesn't want to let me in? He wants to miss work on one of the busiest nights of the year? Fine, fucking wierdo. So, pissed I run back to the bar and everyone is again "Where the fuck is he? Why don't you know where he is? Don't you have a key?" We've only been dating for nearly a full year... and I'm getting more and more pissed.

Do you know how many times I've been locked out of his apartment? Too many times to mention and he always says he was sleeping or busy doing laundry. I'm so sick of hearing these excuses! I saw the light go off! And how do you oversleep 9 fucking pm?!?! So, I sent him an angry message saying "Your inertia is more than I can take" and continued working.

Eventually he messages me back and I told him to at least have the decency to walk his ass around the corner to the bar to talk to me in person after he made me look so stupid in front of everyone. Which, he EVENTUALLY did. I didn't really yell too much - I mean, it wasn't a scene. But, there were definitely some verbal blows thrown afterhours and after everyone had left and it was just us in the dark bar he actually yelled at me!

Mind you, he never EVER yells. In fact, the fact that my family yells all the time scares him shitless because he's from a very surpressed family. I was shocked he'd yell at me, but at the same time really intrigued. I never thought he cared that much and then I was crying like a retard and he was like

"Fine! You want my keys! Take them! I'll crawl in through a window!" I never even asked for his keys, but then he put them in my pocket. Of course, two seconds later he's trying to fish them out, which just made me cry harder. Not to mention I have a hole in my pocket so they fell into the lining of my coat so he had to totally dig for them, which was almost comical.

That night I slept at his apartment, but we didn't have sex. When I woke up there was a note on the space heater saying he'd gone to pay the electric bill. I left him a note on the pillow saying it's dangerous to leave paper on a lit space heater and left.

I don't know who is being retarded in this situation, but it all feels really assbackwards. I never seem to get anywhere with him. Even if it feels like it, we never end up anywhere than where we started.

Cheers,

Lost

Sounds like he doesn't deserve you.

I'm just wondering why people think it's your responsibility to make him come into work. He's a grown man. It's his choice whether or not to come in to work, isn't it?

Why did you take that on as your responsibility instead of putting it on the management to do?

What was he really angry about? The keys or being hunted down?

*chuckles*

I probably would have left a note like that myself. :P

They should can his ass, imo.

you're both trash and completely worthless to society. do everyone including yourselves a favor and clean the planet of your stench

quote:Originally posted by mustache rider:

you're both trash and completely worthless to society. do everyone including yourselves a favor and clean the planet of your stench

GTFO troll.

k, they shouldn't have told him to come in at 9 if they wanted him in at 6...also, what was his excuse for not answering the door?? And why are you dating someone you work with? And did you try calling him before everything?

You're both being kind of like tungsten. Just let him do the fuck as he wants too. Because in the end no matter what, when you're chillin', your out?

Ps, out of curiosity, how many licks does it take to get to the center of your universe?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by oc6:



Why did you take that on as your responsibility instead of putting it on the management to do?

Normally I wouldn't've, but they were telling me to go do find him assuming that I had the keys to his apartment. And because I didn't want to admit that I didn't I just went ahead anyways hoping he would answer the door for me. But, he didn't and that's what upset me. And may be that is overemotional or overreacting, but he's done this several times before. Besides, how could he oversleep goddamned 9pm?

What was he really angry about? The keys or being hunted down?

Niether. He was angry that I hadn't felt sorry for him oversleeping work and that instead I'd gotten angry and yelled at him for locking me out.

Cheers,

Lost

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Blaydes:

k, they shouldn't have told him to come in at 9 if they wanted him in at 6[b]

They didn't want him at 6. They changed his hours.

[b]...also, what was his excuse for not answering the door??

His excuse was that he was asleep, even though I rang his incredibly loud and annoying buzzer for ten minutes and threw pennies at his window (which is right by his bed).

And why are you dating someone you work with?

Stupidity? I mean, we only work together one night a week and we knew eachother for years prior.

And did you try calling him before everything?

Of course.

Cheers,

Lost

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Chinese Food52:

You're both being kind of like tungsten.

I'm being "Tungsten (IPA: /ˈtʊŋstən/), also called wolfram (IPA: /ˈwʊlfrəm, -am/) is a chemical element that has the symbol W (New Latin: wolframium) and atomic number 74. A very hard, heavy, steel-gray to white transition metal, tungsten is found in several ores including wolframite and scheelite and is remarkable for its robust physical properties, especially the fact that it has the highest melting point of all the non-alloyed metals and the second highest of all the elements after carbon. The pure form is used mainly in electrical applications but its many compounds and alloys are widely used in many applications (most notably in light bulb filaments, and as both the filament and target in most X-ray tubes and in superalloys)."? What the hell are you talking about?

Just let him do the fuck as he wants too. Because in the end no matter what, when you're chillin', your out?

Wow. This must be an example of OTWR.

Cheers,

Lost

Is he hasing a noivus breakdown or becoming an Oxy Freak? Sniffin' Smack/ going whack?

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by oc6:



[b]What was he really angry about? The keys or being hunted down?

Niether. He was angry that I hadn't felt sorry for him oversleeping work and that instead I'd gotten angry and yelled at him for locking me out.

Cheers,

Lost

You shouldn't have felt sorry for him. He's a grown up (or at least should be) and needs to act like one. That includes getting his ass out of bed on time no matter the hour.

I think it's good you finally got to see this side of him after having known him for so long. (the yelling part) Not enjoyable, I know...but...it's good you have. However, it might come out more often now. Not a lot, but maybe more often.

Haha.

girls like assholes

it's simple, learn to live with it or change. But then nice guys would get laid and who would want that

I'm not going to whine here and say "this isn't a blog", but seriously... nothing actually happened in this case. He slept in and was grouchy and you argued with each other. Big fucking whoooop.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

You shouldn't have felt sorry for him. He's a grown up (or at least should be) and needs to act like one. That includes getting his ass out of bed on time no matter the hour.

I think it's good you finally got to see this side of him after having known him for so long. (the yelling part) Not enjoyable, I know...but...it's good you have. However, it might come out more often now. Not a lot, but maybe more often.

It's absolutely ridiculous? How can people go through life like that? I guess that explains why he's a 35 year old barback...

What's more ridiculous is that it's so cliche. Could it be true? Are we really compelled to date assholes? I could try to search the recesses of my mind, but all I can think of is that the sex keeps us together. I once heard a statistic that sex makes up 80% of a relationship. So, may be assholes are just better in bed.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

So, may be assholes are just better in bed.

Cheers,

Lost

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNYEH.. must.. not ... make... obvious joke.... AHRHAGHAG.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:



What's more ridiculous is that it's so cliche. Could it be true? Are we really compelled to date assholes? t

Slave to the Rhythm...well to genetic 'Hard wiring' anyways.

Are we arseholes better in bed? Not really its more a question of how you interpret it.



Whether you're being 'fucked' or 'being made love to' the actions are pretty much the same .

Tis the thought that counts...

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

It's absolutely ridiculous? How can people go through life like that? I guess that explains why he's a 35 year old barback...

What's more ridiculous is that it's so cliche. Could it be true? Are we really compelled to date assholes? I could try to search the recesses of my mind, but all I can think of is that the sex keeps us together. I once heard a statistic that sex makes up 80% of a relationship. So, may be assholes are just better in bed.

Cheers,

Lost



I really don't understand the "cliché" though. No one is an ass all the time.

I don't know about sex being 80% of a relationship. I'd say it's communication...and learning to deal with each others idiosyncrasies.

Although...sex is a part of communication I suppose.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

You shouldn't have felt sorry for him. He's a grown up (or at least should be) and needs to act like one. That includes getting his ass out of bed on time no matter the hour.

I think it's good you finally got to see this side of him after having known him for so long. (the yelling part) Not enjoyable, I know...but...it's good you have. However, it might come out more often now. Not a lot, but maybe more often.

Seriously, LC, you're current boyfriend sounds like a 35 year old version of my ex-boyfriend. He too was a barback and he too expected me to feel sorry for him when he fucked up by oversleeping or doing something equally dumb. The best thing I EVER did was to dump that loser before he could ruin the rest of my life. Really...He should have his life together, I mean he's THIRTY FIVE, not a kid.

Maybe he's getting all of his vitality sucked out of him by LC. He's robbin' the cradle & she's killin' a poor old man.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Sounds like he doesn't deserve you.

Are you being serious? Some people take a long time to get to know, and only after a year you are upset because he hasn't revealed his deepest secrets to you?

You are the one that sounds like you are trying to incite arguements.

He's a liar. You know it. He knows it.

So just call him a liar.

He'll eventually say sorry.

But not say sorry for what. (Don't make him say either)

Then it'll all be over and you two can have sex again.

The end.

Nothing major happened. He was a bit lazy and selfish, you shouted at him a bit, then he shouted at you, then you left a bitchy note. Nine paragraphs is rather excessive, no? It's just a minor disagreement, he should have gone to work and you shouldn't have made such a huge deal of it. End of.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

Nothing major happened. He was a bit lazy and selfish, you shouted at him a bit, then he shouted at you, then you left a bitchy note. Nine paragraphs is rather excessive, no? It's just a minor disagreement, he should have gone to work and you shouldn't have made such a huge deal of it. End of.



Drama bombing is SRS BUSINESS.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

Nothing major happened. He was a bit lazy and selfish, you shouted at him a bit, then he shouted at you, then you left a bitchy note. Nine paragraphs is rather excessive, no? It's just a minor disagreement, he should have gone to work and you shouldn't have made such a huge deal of it. End of.



The point was more of an example of the subconcious attraction to losers.

Cheers,

Lost

You are with him because you like him for him, you know he is like this shouldn't you be used to it by now?

it's not that assholes are better in bed... but better at getting girls into bed

That's why i always score when drunk, i stop actin nice

quote:Originally posted by dark-easterbunny:

it's not that assholes are better in bed... but better at getting girls into bed

That's why i always score when drunk, i stop actin nice

But, if that were the case, why do we keep coming back for more?

Cheers,

Lost

Girls get bored by nice guys who bring complements but are intrigued by assholes who bring drama. Society has programmed the female mind otherwise, but in the end, the gut-level feelings take over.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

But, if that were the case, why do we keep coming back for more?

Cheers,

Lost

If the negatives outweighed the positives then I doubt that you would. How do you think these things balance out? Is it even or would you say the scale tips more to one side than the other?

My guess would be that if it tips to the negative side and you keep coming back, then maybe that is just what you are accustomed to dealing with in regard to relationships. So it's not really that disagreeable to you.

That's only a guess, of course.

My other guess would be that you lack self confidence and esteem, but that does not seem right in regard to you.

quote:Originally posted by n20Xide:

Girls get bored by nice guys who bring complements but are intrigued by assholes who bring drama. Society has programmed the female mind otherwise, but in the end, the gut-level feelings take over.

Excessive drama gets old after a while. So that's only a temporary condition.

Btw, "assholes" also bring compliments.

Welll? At least he's not not an abusive a man & a less grown-up badly raised girl might choose? You could easily have been pavloved to make worse choices than you do. No?

I should know...I'm wacky as all get out!

It sounds like he's just being really immature and grumpy. I would be very offended if I was at my boyfriend's door and he didn't answer even though he was obviously home. And he expects you to feel sorry for him, even though he was being an ass?

And you say you've been locked out alot. I wouldn't put up with that. Why would you date someone who locks you out and ignores you? I don't get it...

^You don't get it because you are an idiot that doesn't understand Psychology.

She doesn't live there, who gives a fuck if he locks her out? That isn't her home, it is his home. Just like they aren't her feelings, they are his feelings. You can't scream at someone to let you into their house. You have to lure them out.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by oc6:



My guess would be that if it tips to the negative side and you keep coming back, then maybe that is just what you are accustomed to dealing with in regard to relationships. So it's not really that disagreeable to you.

I had this girlfriend a while back who's boyfriend beats on her. I had felt for a long time that if I gave her an ultimatum she would choose him over me and then she would be alienated in an abusive relationship with one less friend, so I never did. A few times I yelled at him, kicked him out of the bar, etc... But, I never did anything serious about it.

A few months ago another girlfriend and I were discussing whether I should dump my boyfriend or not and she referrenced Bernard (our friends abusive boyfriend). She said "Well, at least he doesn't beat you." The two of us thought about this for a minute and then I was like

"That's awful that our standards start with Bernard. That we even factor that sort of thing in."

But, perhaps it's true. I had a husband who beat me and I would never allow myself to be put through that again, but may be I am conditioned to put up with more than I have to.

My other guess would be that you lack self confidence and esteem, but that does not seem right in regard to you.

I'll take that as a compliment. I'd say my confidence and self esteem is in good check, it's more laziness that keeps me with him. The sex is good and dependable, we work together, he lives near work, it's very convenient. Dumping him would require dating again, which involves a lot of bad sex and awkwardness. There are other guys I'd like to date, but it doesn't seem worth it anymore.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:



And you say you've been locked out alot. I wouldn't put up with that. Why would you date someone who locks you out and ignores you? I don't get it...

That's what's making me conflicted. CarbonB sounds like a Satanist with his talk of it being his place and such, but I kind of agree with him. That's how I feel about those sorts of things usually. I don't believe you should be forced to do those sorts of things. In fact, I don't think you should even ask. I believe a persons house is their domain and it should be as private or public as they want to make it.

But, I'm also his girlfriend for almost a year and I think he should've already offered me keys to his place. I feel like he should be that comfortable with me and it's making me crazy to the point of making crying scenes. It's like I can't balance out what I know logically and how I feel.

Is this the female condition?

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^You don't get it because you are an idiot that doesn't understand Psychology.

She doesn't live there, who gives a fuck if he locks her out? That isn't her home, it is his home. Just like they aren't her feelings, they are his feelings. You can't scream at someone to let you into their house. You have to lure them out.

I'm an idiot because I wouldn't want a boyfriend who ignores me while I'm at his doorstep? I'm not saying that he should leave his house unlocked all the time so she can have free access. I'm saying that it would hurt me to be standing on my boyfriend's doorstep ringing the doorbell and he just ignores me.

He was home, he could have come down and said "yo, I'm busy" or whatever. Ignoring her was a dick move.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

I'm an idiot because I wouldn't want a boyfriend who ignores me while I'm at his doorstep? I'm not saying that he should leave his house unlocked all the time so she can have free access. I'm saying that it would hurt me to be standing on my boyfriend's doorstep ringing the doorbell and he just ignores me.

He was home, he could have come down and said "yo, I'm busy" or whatever. Ignoring her was a dick move.

I wouldn't be too offended that CarbonB thinks you're an idiot that doesn't know anything about psychology. Consider the source.

Cheers,

Lost

^^^Haha, yeah, good point!

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

It's like I can't balance out what I know logically and how I feel.

Is this the female condition?

Cheers,

Lost

Your conflict is quite possibly based on other issues regarding your relationship too. You know...past events and history together. I'd be surprised if it was solely because of this issue.

[I have a headache that's making my eyes cross now...so I hope that makes sense.]

I once yelled at my girlfriend. It was about 5 words tops that I yelled. She kept making jokes about cheating on me and she knew I hated it, i snapped and told her to shut the fuck up or something. She STILL brings it up as grounds for me being an asshole, now that we're broken up and just friends. I will never yell at a girl again.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



..Whether you're being 'fucked' or 'being made love to' the actions are pretty much the same .

Tis the thought that counts...

lmao

BITCH BITCH BITCH

"he yelled at me"

Stop the fucking world spinning! Please! A GUY YELLED AT A GIRL! OH MY FUCKING GOD NO!

Its called a fight. It happens. Now go have make-up sex before I clobber you.

quote:Originally posted by pyroman5000:

BITCH BITCH BITCH

"he yelled at me"

Stop the fucking world spinning! Please! A GUY YELLED AT A GIRL! OH MY FUCKING GOD NO!

Its called a fight. It happens. Now go have make-up sex before I clobber you.

Wow. You clearly didn't read anything but the title.

Cheers,

Lost

I agree with CarbonB, Took me over 2 years to truly know my Ex at all.

He never treated me how your partner treats you though, that is really degrading.. what he cant even open the door for you? You should remember even though hes your other half you are SEPERATE people. Just tell your manager/boss next time that occurs that you shouldnt be mixing work with home relations and get somebody else to go and get him or call him.

And this.."So, may be assholes are just better in bed."

I dont know.. every thread you make theres a stupid comment in there somewhere, when men talk down about women i try and defend my side of the argument as well as i can but when WOMEN say things like that what the fuck do you expect men to think of us?.. OH MAYBE ASSHOLES ARE BETTER IN BED... good one you fucking retard.

Why dont u just go and fucking DIE.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

Wow. You clearly didn't read anything but the title.

Cheers,

Lost

Actually I read the whole thing, but fail to take it seriously. In a fight one will say things they dont really mean. This bitch will probably stay with the guy regardless of what anyone here says.

quote:Originally posted by shiva:



And this.."So, may be assholes are just better in bed."

I dont know.. every thread you make theres a stupid comment in there somewhere, when men talk down about women i try and defend my side of the argument as well as i can but when WOMEN say things like that what the fuck do you expect men to think of us?.. OH MAYBE ASSHOLES ARE BETTER IN BED... good one you fucking retard.

Why dont u just go and fucking DIE.

I don't know what it is with people on here having the reading comprehension level of five year olds but that was clearly a rhetorical question.

Cheers,

Lost

[QOUT]

Actually I read the whole thing, but fail to take it seriously. In a fight one will say things they dont really mean. This bitch will probably stay with the guy regardless of what anyone here says.[/QUOTE]

The thread has nothing to do with him actually yelling at me, and no one is telling me to break up or stay with him. Wow. People are sometimes off, but you're on another fucking planet.

Cheers,

Lost

Awww...no one should yell at you Lost Cause!

As if you're better than us you fat whore.

EDIT:

I understand that you're looking for pitty, and for not giving you any I'm sorry. But everybody here has there own problems. Please learn to accept this.

[This message has been edited by Cozy Amnesia (edited 03-24-2007).]

you yelled at him first, then u probably deserved it. instead, had you controlled your temper and talked to him in a polite manner, this probably wouldn't have happened. dont think that just because hes a guy that he'll take shit from you and say nothing back. just say ur sorry, he'll say it back, and you'll be good to go.

It's unbelieveable. I can't tell if they just didn't read the thread or if they're actually so stupid they can't comprehend the point of the thread.

It boggles the mind.

Cheers,

Lost

I think you need to state your point more succinctly when you make your threads.

This was your point, no?

"Are we really compelled to date assholes?"

Maybe giving the thread the title of your point instead of "He Yelled At Me" would help get your point across.

[Personally though...everyone is an ass at one time or another. And sometimes we bring that out in others too. You always have to take a look at yourself when it comes to how someone treats you.]



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-24-2007).]

I read the thread, I can see where you are coming from and could sympathize with you.

It was wrong for him to be so inconsiderate he could have least had the decency to come out or tell you something beforehand.

I think things just got a little escalated maybe it was a little of the booze talking you know?

I think you both should just make amends, this argument isnt worth the heartache.

-Lobo

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by oc6:

[b]

I'll take that as a compliment. I'd say my confidence and self esteem is in good check, it's more laziness that keeps me with him. The sex is good and dependable, we work together, he lives near work, it's very convenient. Dumping him would require dating again, which involves a lot of bad sex and awkwardness. There are other guys I'd like to date, but it doesn't seem worth it anymore.

Cheers,

Lost

This is really sad.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

It's unbelieveable. I can't tell if they just didn't read the thread or if they're actually so stupid they can't comprehend the point of the thread.

It boggles the mind.

Cheers,

Lost

There is no point to this thread. It's more or less a blog for you to put your complaints in.

In the subject title line (key word there: subject) you wrote "He Yelled At Me". I was drunk last night and said the first thing that came to mind. Don't blame me because you posted a thread in a public conference full of assholes with a misleading subject title and people didn't read your blog like you wanted.

You're pathetic. Your relationship is pathetic. This thread is pathetic.

Wait a minute! There was a point to that!?

Sounds like you had a fight with your boyfriend. Big whoop. People have fights.

See, if you know your dating trash, then you're trash for knowing you could do much better.

Sorry, truth hurts.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

This is really sad.



A sad reality, yes. But it's one that often comes and goes over time too. Six months from now that could be completely different, then another six months it could be something similar again.

Meh...life goes that way...sometimes...

Something I read that someone here wrote:

"It's not what keeps you apart, but what keeps you together."

[paraphrased quote - not sure of the exact words]

I think that's quite wise when looking at relationships.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-24-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:



Mind you, he never EVER yells. In fact, the fact that my family yells all the time scares him shitless because he's from a very surpressed family. I was shocked he'd yell at me, but at the same time really intrigued. I never thought he cared that much and then I was crying like a retard and he was like



0_o I guess that could be a problem. And him being sort of a jerk for not showing up.