She was over tonight. For a long time. We watched a movie, but I didnt put my arm around her or anything.

When she was leaving, I could tell she was waiting for me to make a move, kiss her or something. I couldnt do it. This is the 4th or 5th time we've hung out together, but I just cant seem to get the courage to kiss her.

Anyone have any tips for getting over the nervousness of my first kiss? I dont want to lose her just because I'm scared of physical contact.

Ok, you want to know a secret?

Everyone's first kiss sucks. It's just the way it goes. You'll get better quickly. If you're unsure, don't go for tongue right away... you really can't screw up a tongueless kiss. Just make sure your breath is good and you're gold.

The mechanics of it arent really the problem, its getting the courage to do it that is.

I feel like such an idiot, i mean she was standing right there. And i just said "Goodnight."

Ha, she's going to get sick of you.



Just do it man. And it's not one of those things that are easier said then done, it's easy to do ESPECIALLY if you know she wants it.

Just remember that you only live once, and everytime you let nervousness overcome you, is a chance lost forever.

I had the same problem.

long story short: it DID ruin a relationship.

JUST DO IT. Bad advice right? Wrong. Have you ever dived off a board, and you stand there for 5 seconds saying, 'I..can't. do. this.' but then you just make yourself take one more step and you fall....THEN YOU DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS AWESOME!!!! Seriously man, chicks are just like dudes, they want the action. just lean in and kiss her, lose your logic and say FUCK IT.

quote:Originally posted by Vamp:

Ok, you want to know a secret?

Everyone's first kiss sucks. It's just the way it goes. You'll get better quickly. If you're unsure, don't go for tongue right away... you really can't screw up a tongueless kiss. Just make sure your breath is good and you're gold.

my first kiss I was expert. (had a mg or 2 of ativan in me tho)

and to thread starter, get high enough to not give a care then do it.

The only advice anyone can really give you is to just do it. If she likes you, she'll go along with just about anything you throw at her.



A friendly warning with this girl though. Unless she's new too, by the 4th/5th time and not doing anything, it's a good bet she's lost interest. You might be better off finding a new girl to try this on.

[This message has been edited by Blue_Yonder (edited 03-18-2007).]

How many times have you kissed your mother? Or grandma or some shit like that. If you think of it like that you will know that it cant go wrong.

quote:Originally posted by ethical_digger:

How many times have you kissed your mother? Or grandma or some shit like that.

hmm yes...just the mental image he needs..

Laughed out loud at that one Jack...

True but, and if it's your first, don't try and make it linger too long! The last thing she wants is you hanging off her face like a suckerfish!

If she is into you, and responds well to your kiss (Ie. relaxes rather than stiffens in shock) then about 3-4 seconds is good for a first try.

Have fun with that!

If your sure she wants it what can you loose?

your "first" everything sucks so just go with the flow and be confident in yourself if she want you to do this then why dont you have that confidence .

She wants you to do it. it is not like she will ridicule you for it.

Just do it, not because you have to, but because you want to.

Wait, you're referring to a regular little peck and not like making out? Bro, just move your mouth in, haha. It's not that difficult, she will come in to meet you, and then that's it. You shouldn't worry about something as trivial as this, don't get nervous. Making out, on the other hand, might be something to be worried about, but even then, just go with the flow.

Plus, you'll feel amazing as girls lips are probably the softest and greatest things ever, especially with lip gloss

Why not start with a kiss on the cheek or forehead, followed with a warm hug instead?

quote:Originally posted by Bullets:

my first kiss I was expert. (had a mg or 2 of ativan in me tho)

Lol. Exact same scenario for me. Alcohol or benzos = confidence.

quote:Originally posted by grungekid:

Alcohol or benzos = confidence.

...and the lack of awareness if you suck too? :P

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

...and the lack of awareness if you suck too? :P

Precisely.

quote:Originally posted by Blue_Yonder:

A friendly warning with this girl though. Unless she's new too, by the 4th/5th time and not doing anything, it's a good bet she's lost interest. You might be better off finding a new girl to try this on.





I'm her first real boyfriend too. It was pretty obvious that she was waiting for it, but she asked to see me again after I hugged her (too big of pussy to kiss her), so I don't think she's lost interest.

Yet.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Why not start with a kiss on the cheek or forehead, followed with a warm hug instead?



Yes, this works, then when you hug her, put your head over her shoulder, close to her head (make sure neither of you are wearing glasses - this messes it up *cringes at memory*).

When your coming out of the hug, keep your head close to hers and brush your cheek against hers, not fully letting go of her.

Keeping your faces very close together, move yours across so your lips brush together, then press your lips onto hers and thus begins your first kiss.

Call her up quick, make a date with her as soon as you can, then when you meet her say "I've been thinking about you," blah, blah, blah... and then kiss her.

Don't wait until the end of the night, because you'll be thinking about what happened and what she's thinking and... do it as soon as you can.

Get that awkwardness out of the way, and pass on to the incredibly annoying (for other people anyway) infatuation stage of the relationship where you can't keep your fucking hands off of each other.

quote:Originally posted by Shizm:



I'm her first real boyfriend too. It was pretty obvious that she was waiting for it, but she asked to see me again after I hugged her (too big of pussy to kiss her), so I don't think she's lost interest.

Yet.



Oh right, we didn't know she was your boyfriend. Then it will be more than easy.

How old are you?

I remember my first time with my gf.

(I was like 10.)

I was really afraid to, I felt like she wouldn't return it, or go, "wtf you weirdo."

But dude, it's your gf. If she doesn't return it I will paypal you 40 dollers.

Next time she comes round, you don't have to do it right away. Chill out with her, talk about somethings.

Then when everything is going smoothly give her a a big long hug. Touch the tips of her hair, and look in to her eyes. Smile. When she smiles back softly lift her chin up and move in for it. She'll move in too.

Trust me dude.

Let me know how it goes.

I'm 17.

GOD damnit! I did it again! Or rather, I didnt do it again! Its been for fucking ever!

WHY CANT I DO THIS? Is it normal to be so afraid?

Alcohol, it's the only way.

Or; grow some fucking testicles. It's just a kiss, guaranteed it's gonna be awkward, all first kisses are, but you have to get past that step to get to awkward sex, which leads to good sex, so think of it as a progression that you absolutely have to go through to get laid.

Trust me, it'll pay off in the end, just man up and do it.

The easiest segway into kissing that I found (a long time ago) was tickling. Tickle the hell out of her, get her laughing and in a kissable position, then let up, wait for your eyes to meet in that *i know you know* kind of way and kiss her.

Best of luck.

1. Calm the fuck down

2. Follow some of this god damned advice. Cuddle and be close to her lots. Have your face close to hers. Kiss her on the cheek a few times. that kinda shit. Just ease into it slowly. FOLLOW YOUR PENIS.

quote:Originally posted by Vamp:

Ok, you want to know a secret?

Everyone's first kiss sucks. It's just the way it goes. You'll get better quickly. If you're unsure, don't go for tongue right away... you really can't screw up a tongueless kiss. Just make sure your breath is good and you're gold.

Not true!!! don't listen to him. Just kiss her and do it easy. Do not let your sexual arousal fuck the moment and let her lead you. I she uses tongue then use your tongue, If she goes down on you then go down on her. Simple..

hmmm, walk her home and do it quite near her house, preferably in the dark.

it being dark will prolly make you tonnes less nervous, and she's not far from home anyway, so there won't be another hour of hanging out for you to spend hyperventilating over what just happened.

Man, it was the perfect situation. I know the fear you have... Best way is to cuddle with her during the movie, tickle her at funny parts, grab her at jumpy parts, and don't think about kissing at all. Don't plan it all, do it spontaneously. Kind of like, i'm not going to kiss her tonight so I can relax. Then she's sittin there all sexy laughing, and BOOM YOU START MAKING OUT!!

quote:Originally posted by Isobutane:

hmmm, walk her home and do it quite near her house

She has a car. I do not. Another failure.

I still dont understand why she likes me so much.

As I see it, you've got three options...

1) Skip the "first kiss" and go directly to "first surprise anal."

2) Benzos, modern medicine's own antianxiety miracle.

3) Grow some fucking balls.

Personally, I lean towards #3... though #1 is a close second.

Part of finally living life is realizing that other people, umm, don't matter. So, you look like a twit - the question is, are you having fun? If so, fuck 'em.

So, you're worried what she'll think. Here's a thought, why not just flat-out ask her "hey, wanna make out for hours on end before we go into the surprise buttsekhs?" That way, you'll know *exactly* what she'll think in the first place, before you go for it.

Y'might wanna leave off the part about the surprise buttsekhs, though. Wouldn't be a surprise, then, would it?

Seriously. A little open communication might do you good. Alternately, just live your life doing whatever the fuck you want to do, and honor the wishes and feedback you get for the life of the person who gave it to you. Hell - you could even go for both, and have all your bases redundantly covered.

...but for fuck's sake, give up on social anxiety. "What the neighbors will think" will get you nothing other than a *very* depressing suicide by hanging yourself in your closet - symbolic, ain't'cha? - over being a secret bob marley lover when everyone else likes the backstreet boys, "'cause it's on TV!!!"

Who the fuck wants to go out like that?!??! Either kiss her and go with her reaction, or better yet, just flat-out ask her.

During a movie or something, put your arm around her. Look her in the eye, get closer, and you will be able to tell if she wants you to. Then, just do it.

quote:Originally posted by TheGhost:

Just remember that you only live once, and everytime you let nervousness overcome you, is a chance lost forever.

Next chance you get, you better make a move, or you'll get stuck in the Friend Zone. In other words, you don't get to fuck her. It may already be too late.

You need to man up. Let me tell you my first experience. It was at school, end of day. It was like our 3rd day dating, we were talking, I had to get to detention. I said "I have to go Stef", she was like "ok, have fun in detention". "Say thanks". My hands were already on her hips, I pulled her in, our lips met for about a second. MUTHERFUCKER just man up, it's not hard. That was the best detention ever as well, just went by in a breeze, I felt so good. But really, stop making a huge deal out of it, just do it man. Then you can move to the stage where you're constantly together in school, holding/kissing and everything. Just get that first little bit of awkwardness out of the way, and you're golden.

Edit: Grammar.

[This message has been edited by anarchy burger (edited 04-02-2007).]

Go for it, she's not retarded, she knows you want to kiss her, and she wants to be kissed otherwise she wouldn't be there.

What have you got to lose?

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

your "first" everything sucks s

not true, my first shrooms trip was fucking awesome

Trust me man, the nerves make it so much better. The adrenaline rush, the moment of uncertanty when you pull away, "did she like it? did i do ok?". It's the best feeling in the world when you pluck up the courage to finally do it. My advice is to catch yourself by suprise. If you think about it for too long then you'll manage to talk yourself out of it.

Only regrets you'll ever have are of the risks you never took.

Just remember that next time you're feeling nervous.

Ok, heres how ot make it easy at the end of the night, just when you've walked her home and she's at her door about to go in, say her name, when she turns round, motion with your finger and say "come here" - she'll know exactly what your about to do and when she comes to you put your arms around her and go for it. Simple. If she doesnt come over when you ask, ask a couple more times then just go straight up to her and go straight in.

My first real kiss was the other night...kinda caught me off guard, seeing as I was behind the wheel of my car going about 60 mph...I just kind of sat there and tried not to do anything stupid until I felt the car start going off the road...

So yeah, when it happens, go with the flow and don't do anything stupid...

quote:Originally posted by Shizm:

We watched a movie, but I didnt put my arm around her or anything.

This is the 4th or 5th time we've hung out together, but I just cant seem to get the courage to kiss her.



You must be gay.

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist: not true, my first shrooms trip was fucking awesome

Fuckin' right.

Just kiss her man, you've got nothing to lose.



[This message has been edited by Mellow_Fellow (edited 04-02-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Parallax:

This one's in the bag already, you just have to grab your balls and get things rolling.

Lol, good advice! Others suggest alcohol and/or benzos I say you two should roll together. By the end of the night there is not a fucking chance you won't be making out because you won't be able to stop yourself even if you want to. Hehe.

Seriously though, it's obvious she wants you to kiss her. You've got absolutely nothing to loose and everything to gain, remember that and just man the fuck up and do it. Or use a chemical solution, either/or