It looks like a fucked a bear.

hickeys and bite marks: http://tinyurl.com/3ctwko

scratch marks on other shoulder: http://tinyurl.com/3xoqy2

We finally had sex for the first time, I was a drunk, she was really drunk and really horny. I guess she was just so mad that it took us forever to get into a bed together that she had to let it out on me.

These hickeys are really bad. I've never even seen hickeys this bad, let alone have one. The bite marks and scratches don't bother me as much though because they're hidden when wearing a shirt.

I wouldn't be worried, but I'm going home for spring break Saturday and I don't want to have to explain to my parents why my sex life is so violent.

How long will the hickeys last? What can I do to speed up the healing time?

How can I cover them up? I don't have any turtle necks, and we already tried makeup on some of them. I need something to cover them up, either that or a good excuse. Anyone got any excuses I can use?

[This message has been edited by Cozy Amnesia (edited 03-15-2007).]

I dunno. I just sent a girl home to her mom with a lot of hickeys and I'm pretty sure she'll notice. I guess you can try one of those big band aids.

There's really no way to heal a hickey, man. It's basically a bruise and you just have to let it go away on its own. They can last anywhere from a few days to a week in my experience.

Are your parents alright with you having sex? If so, just tell them she got carried away. It happens.

The scratches look pathetic, by the way.

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

There's really no way to heal a hickey, man. It's basically a bruise and you just have to let it go away on its own. They can last anywhere from a few days to a week in my experience.

Are your parents alright with you having sex? If so, just tell them she got carried away. It happens.

The scratches look pathetic, by the way.

I don't think these are going to go away in a day or two. I'm fucked.

The only sex talk I've had with my parents is "Don't have sex son, and if you do, use a codemn."

Those aren't all the scratches BTW, just the biggest ones. There's more in the middle of my chest from when she was on top.

You call those scratches?

NO GOD DAMNET I'm bragging about how wild our sex was. I just want advice on what to do with these hickeys.

Someone just told me that scrubbing it with a tooth brush will get rid of them. This sounds like a myth to me. Any truth to this?

Those aren't scratches.

This was my back, about four months ago: http://tinyurl.com/2o6wf9 http://tinyurl.com/2gu8n9

quote:Originally posted by Zykaz:

Those aren't scratches.

This was my back, about four months ago: http://tinyurl.com/2o6wf9 http://tinyurl.com/2gu8n9

Holy fuck.

I've made him bleed before, but never like that.

Ouch.

Oh my, zykaz, now those, those are scratches!

The day a girl scratches me like that is the same day I go to jail for skull fucking a corpse.

...Tell your parents you fucked a bear?

try your hardest to convince them it was vampires. never give in. ever.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

The day a girl scratches me like that is the same day I go to jail for skull fucking a corpse.

Agreed, I guess these guys don't realize that have a girl mark up your body is a no no. She is trying to mark you man, don't let her do it.

quote:Originally posted by Zykaz:

Those aren't scratches.

This was my back, about four months ago: http://tinyurl.com/2o6wf9 http://tinyurl.com/2gu8n9

Did you get whipped?

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

Holy fuck.

Looks like you go raped by Edward Scissors Hands.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

You call those scratches?

also, You call those hickies?

Looks like you had some intense masturbation going on.

quote:Originally posted by DuckWarri0r:

Looks like you had some intense masturbation going on.

And thus I laugh ' '

get a Taine that might help...

REMEMBER SUICIDE IS ALWAYS AN ANSWER

quote:Originally posted by Satanz Handicapped Helper:

Looks like you go raped by Edward Scissors Hands.



That was the funniest shit read all day. Some roughness is ok, but most of it better be on my part or I'm pissed.

Man, that must have hurt when your friend charged up to you and shot you in the neck with that fucking paintball gun!

You've got the idea at least...those "scratches" aren't even as bad as the marks I get from a 50 lb ruck march for 12 miles which look nothing like scratches, but more like "scratches" figure it out...loser

quote:Originally posted by bobothemagichobo:

Man, that must have hurt when your friend charged up to you and shot you in the neck with that fucking paintball gun!

Lol I'm going to use this excuse.

I heard something about a spoon, but i dont remember what it was. Id invest in a scarf and a hoodie. Not that it will work, youre basically fucked.

Btw those scratch marks... i wouldnt call them scratches. When there is blood running down your back and chest after sex, then you can brag.

Ok thanks to anyone who helped.

The rest of you can suck my balls.

quote:Originally posted by Satanz Handicapped Helper:

Looks like you go raped by Edward Penis Hands.

lawlfixed, even though it makes less sense. oh well, i have the mind of a 13 year old...

Leave the poor bears alone.

I can't imagine it being hot to bleed.

Say you passed out at a house party and a few girls felt like fucking with you.

rubbing a comb on them really.... REALLY hard works a bit, they wont go away, but theyre be less noticable (once the horrible red mark resulting from the lacking skin but it goes away).

I heard something about tooth paste too

Turtle neck sweaters. Just tell them again and again: "It's more reliable than a regular sweater."

P.S. Your bite marks look pussy. I still have a scar from a night of REALLY good sex.

quote:Originally posted by origamimavin:

try your hardest to convince them it was vampires. never give in. ever.



Hehe.

purchase a turtle neck, asap

I herd that eating lots of pineapples can make them go away faster

quote:Originally posted by Saphi:

I herd that eating lots of pineapples can make them go away faster



Eating tends to do that.

quote:Originally posted by Saphi:

I herd that eating lots of pineapples can make them go away faster

"Eating fresh pineapples can help your body repair itself and increase your sense of well-being. Pineapples are nutritionally packed members of the bromeliad family. This delightful tropical fruit is high in the enzyme bromelain and the antioxidant vitamin C, both of which plays a major role in the body's healing process.Bromelain, a natural anti-inflammatory with analgesic properties, encourages healing, promotes well-being and has many other health benefits. Bromelain is very effective in treating bruises, sprains and strains by reducing swelling, tenderness and pain. This powerful anti-inflammatory and analgesic effect can also help relieve osteo- and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms and reduce postoperative swelling. Additionally, bromelain can relieve indigestion. The enzyme contained in fresh pineapple helps break down the amino acid bonds in proteins, which promotes good digestion.

Pineapples also provide an ample supply of vitamin C, a commonly known antioxidant that protects the body from free radical damage and boosts the immune system. Vitamin C helps build and repair bodily tissue and promotes wound healing. The body uses vitamin C to help metabolize fats and cholesterol, absorb iron, and synthesize amino acids and collagen. Collagen is one of the primary building blocks of skin, cartilage and bones. Vitamin C also decreases the severity of colds and infections."

apply toothpaste to them. works wonders!! trust me

I've been in worse situations. When you are laying on the couch in the family room half-passed-out watching a movie after a hard night of partying on an ecstasy comedown with marks like that on your next, with the girl that did and her boyfriend(well sorta boyfriend at that point) on the other end of the couch(also both half-passed-out and on E comedowns) when your parents come home from church, then you can come here and worry about what to say. Ah, good times good times.

They didn't seem to care that much, they did ask a few questions about it and made some comment about "Is this the type of girl that you would bring home to meet us?" or something like that, ha if they only knew...

Anyway dude as my experiance suggests unless your parents are amish or some sort of uber ultra christian religious freaks I doubt you really have to worry about it. I mean your in college they expect that kind of behavior and they probably did the same damn things when they were your age. For that matter even if your parents are uber ultra christian religious freaks it's not that big of deal because mine are like that and I didn't really get any shit for it, just a few questions.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and you call those scratches?

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 03-18-2007).]

Yeah, the rents just laughed at me. "She must of had some big lips. Is she black?!" lol.

You call those scratches?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I can't imagine it being hot to bleed.

I don't think so either. But if she is making me bleed or say, turning my chest into one gigantic hicky I would never tell her to stop even though I'd much prefer her to.

you lost of how many times i lawled at the replies

i know im a little late, but i agree, those are not scratches or hickies. its not a hicky unless it bleeds...same with scratches...and Zykaz: rock on man. IMO masochism rocks, and for anyone that says never let a girl do that, you just dont understand the appeal.

scrubbing the hickeys with a stiff-ish toothbrush pretty hard breaks up the blood under the skin. it gets red for like, 6 hours but it works for getting rid of them.

did for me after i heard about it

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

The day a girl scratches me like that is the same day I go to jail for skull fucking a corpse.

Skull fucking is hot.

Corpses, not so much.

But skull fucking..

Alas, that is, physicaly difficult to facilitate..

Green coloured concealer. Sounds bizarre, but the green counteracts the redness of the hickey. It doesn't cover it up completely but it makes it much less noticeable.

- T_M

hooray for Zykaz for already makin the point. Cozy amnesia, your scratches are nothing.

The solution? you don't need a solution if you look that fucked up (i mean as zykaz, not like you, if you look like you you have to hide in embarresment for callin that scratches), that art is hide nothing and everyone will be so shocked they'll never dare to ask (well it worked for me for years so it might work for you)

[This message has been edited by dark-easterbunny (edited 03-19-2007).]

theres no excuse for domestic abuse.

^cluntoris^

Point #1: Those "scratches" are pussy.

Point #2: Your body hair distibution is odd. You have large quanitities of boob hair, with very little chest hair.

Zykaz must have a collosal tail.

Bandaids, turtle necks, scarves, etc...

Cheers,

Lost

Yeah, back in the day the fact that I played was on a paintball team gave me all the explinations for hickies I needed.

Am I the only one that still fails to see why "I had a girl sucking/chewing on my neck" isn't an ok explanation of a hickey? Why must it be explained away with some lie when the truth works just fine anyway?

I mean I can sorta see the highschool kid living with parents being worried about it, but seriously they expect it anyway. And they probably wonder about your excuses anyway also. I mean what are they going to do if you tell them the truth? If anything they'd be glad you had a social life, they might want to meet the girl but they aren't likely to go punishing you for it unless they're completely crazy(yes I realize some parents are but most aren't).