Here it is gentlemen - An expert guide to bedding the woman of your dreams in no time at all.

**WARNING **

If you are someone that can't keep focused on a lot of text this isn't for you...nor is sex perhaps

Or you can always go for the easy or intoxicated alone girls in the careless approach to looks or taste...

--- --- --- --- ---

Preparing for take-off

-The bare essentials-

1. Shower. Shave. Shit. These are the basics and must be respected. A visit to the rain room (shower) is a must. Scientists have found that humanis blokus exudes a certain toxic aroma not unlike roadkill after a period of more than 6 hours of physical or not so physical (for the nerds out there) activity so have a nice scrub down until you ar as flash as a rat with a gold tooth. Do the ears, scrub the head, give your undercarriage a good going over and clean your man wand whilst down there. It is advised to clean the pipes to the mental image of your favourite actress as well.

2. Clothing. Plenty of guys think they know wha they're doing in the hair department, but they don't. Best to just wear something you're comfortable in - a combo that has worked for you before and is tried and true to who you are. If you left those shoes beneath the bed of a girl the last time you went on the prowl, wear them (some guys needs every omen he can get). If that pink skivvy with checked pants got you laid back in 98' just accept it as a miracle and wear jeans and a shirt for everyone's sake. For just as a man weighs another man by his handshake, some women judge a guy by his choice in cloth. So go clean, co-ordinated (Remember pants, then shoes) and give everything a polish...and do a lint patrol...or else you certainly won't get one.

3. Underwear. Don't laugh. This is the business end, the in-goal area where a lot of men will make crucial errors. Never freeball. Never. All your ballroom dancing should be restricted to the dancefloor and the bedroom (if you make it) so do yourself a favor and put on your cleanest, coolest and luckiest underwear.

4. Accessories of the metrosexual man. Okay, so a lot of guys won't talk about it, but if you have got a moisturiser or aftershave that makes you smell less like the Kentucky Derbie winners saddle, then splash it about. I hope I don't need to remind you not to go overboard. Remember: Odorologists say the scent of Brut 33 on a man at 20 paces triggers the word 'despeado' in the opposite sex, so go easy.

5. If you're a hopeless bachelor, look alive, because it's time to lear out the empty pizza boxes, well turned pages of Penthouse, and the empty bottles of booze laying around your place. Get some windows open to let some fresh air in and even some scented candles burning away foul smells whilst pumping out fresh scents. Change the sheets on the bed and make sure there will be no interuptions from flatmates, ex girlfriends or the like.

6. SHOPPING FOR SUCCESS

- Aftershave (nothing to cheap smelling)

- Razors (for urgent brazilians or kinky emos)

- Coffee (for the morning after)

- Strawberries (for the sweet tooth)

- Champagne (on ice of course)

- Condoms (let's be optimistic here)

- The Kamasutra (for the ambitious)

Meeting up

-The setup-

7. It's vital you don't make it too ard for her to get to you. Choose a familiar place for both of you to meet at. If it has to be out of the way, pick her up. That way there is no missed trains, shonky directions or "taxis that never came", aka she couldn't be fucked.

8. Do not - repeat - Do not meet her at a bar your friends might appear. You know what guys are like when someone in the group has gone all "Women Over Mates". They'll play up or try to snatch her for hemselves.

9. Don't buy flowers. She'll only have to carry them around all night and you'll look like the dud catch from 'the perfect match'. If things are going well later on, buy her a rose (but don't flirt with the flower girl haha). Note: Flowers are best delivered the morning after a win, complete with a card and sexy message.

10. If you support the Dallas Cowboys, Carlton Blues, Liverpool FC, Canberra Raiders <insert favorite sporting team here> do NOT take her to a game under any circumstance...unless you know she is an avid fan.

11. Avoid places where

a) You are barred

b) The music is too loud (or too quiet)

c) The crowd are on hard drugs

12. If you are at a place that work on tips, tip big on the first drinks. When the serviceman (or woman) smiles appreciatively, ask their name and make mention you'll be here for a while. This way you will get attentive service, and look a bit more persuasive in the eyes of your date. It all counts.

13. Open doors. Going in or out of a venue, there are certain classics that never fail to work their magic and this is a platinum one. If your date is a girl who beieves in chivalry is dead, she could be a lesbian, and you're best start running or ask to watch...depending on her appearence.

14. Check your body language. No scratching your balls, and make sure your stance at the bar or slouch in a chair is relaxed and open...but not so open to give her a huge eyeful of your package...unless that's all you have going for you.

15. Relax. Don't babble on. Speak clearly.

16. If you're offering her a drink, touch her elbow lightly. And if you're ushering her to a seat, place your hand gently in the small of her back (not the back of her smalls).

Let's do dinner

-The food trap-

17. Okay, so you like this girl but hey it's way too early to blow a whole months wages on taking her to some expensive place older couples that stopped talking to one another 20 years ago. Not only are these places going to intimidate her, as well as have you look like a pompus ass trying too hard. Take her somewhere nice and simple, not too heavy not too light...just right...as it were. Read on.

18. When being seated at a restaurant, take a table that is seperated from the rest of the patrons. Try to avoid venues attracting

a) Families with young kids.

b) Young married couples with huge mortages who like to think they're having a big night on the booze.

c) Your single young friends, looking for a cheap meal before a big night on the drink.

19. Keep it real. Make sure you go someplace you will both enjoy. Not to an Indian Curry Hut only to learn she's intolerant to their spices or so to wrap hog anus in a taco.

20. Never order a dish that features a large sausage complimented with two mounds of potato...if you catch my drift.

21. Resist meat dishes where the beast comes with its head intact - particularly pork or chicken??

22. Avoid anything that will give you gas. If you need some release go to the bathroom, no blaming other people or animals or laughing out loud.

23. Cheese makes you smell and sleepy. Avoid it.

24. Don't drink too much. Or else you'll be going to the toilets way too often and having her think what you're doing in there. Drinkly slowly and quietly with no guzzling or slurping, pace it with your food. Alcohol adds to the desire, but takes away from the performance. Watch yourself.

25. Encourage her to try a dish. If you are eating at a place you frequent or that you have heard good things about a certain dish. Your knowledge on good food is sure to impress.

26. Again choose your food premise wisely. You do not want to end up with food poisoning and having her feel sick everytime she thinks of that unforgetable night together.

27. Set down some groundwork before the night. Go in, speak to the chef if possible, and the table staff. See if you can arrange some flowers on the table upon arrival, extra large helpings of after dinner drinks, etc, etc. And ask about the menu and for suggestions.

28. If you're going all out and agree to taste some wines show your wide knowledge of the finer things in life by sipping on your glass and nodding: "Mmmmm, definately wine" she'll laugh. Who couldn't?

29. Pick up the bill. Cheap blokes wank a lot. In these days she may go through the motions of wanting to pay her half, but never let her. You invited her out, you pay.

-Eating in-

...as opposed to eating out. That comes later if she's lucky.

-This is if you can't be bothered with all of the above, parking and snobby waiters. Plus no woman can resist a man that cooks for her. Two obvious and major pitfalls for this angle though.

* She might think you're just trying to get her into your place

AND/OR

* If you don't know how to cook you are screwed.

30. Don't ask her what she likes. This puts too much pressure on having her reveal her tastes so early on. Just ask if she is vegetarian or eats meat (we have a winner!!!) and if there's any allergies you should be aware of.

31. Don't start off with something overly complicated if you aren't certain you can pull it off. Best bet is to prepare something you can easily reheat later without loss of taste or look.

32. If she is a meat-eater (heh heh) stick to a universally loved meat (haha) like beef or chicken. Fish is dangerous, plenty of people don't like seafood. Pork too is something I'm not sure is too popular.

33. Choose something to cook that is simple and tasty. If you want to impress include something she's probably seen on a restaurant menu but is easy to make. Go to Oral Indulgences to ask what these might include.

34. Have decent serviettes and a clean, well set table. This will go a long way in making you look like you a house-trained.



Drinks

35. No-one likes the grog guzzler. No matter how nervous or confident you are, keep the alcohol monster on a leash when you are with your lady. Again you'll be going to piss every 10 minutes, plus you might get a limp dick when you want it at its best.

36. Wine. Some people think wine lovers a a pack of absolute dickheads. They might be right or wrong we aren't debating this...just looking at what to say...if you want to look like you know what you're saying when you don't.

A] "The lady would like to see the wine list"

Giving her the opportunity to order the is gold! She might take it, she might hand it back to you to show off. Win-win really.

B] "How about a rose for the lady?"

There's no denying the seductive charms of champagne, but only a few know the power of pink fizz. A glass or two of Great Rose and you'll ride those nipple-pink bubbles to the bedroom.

C] "And what do you think of the wine?"

If you're struggling for conversation, remember you both have something in common - the wine. Don't be a asshole about it, just talk about what you are drinking. That way ordering another bottle is an exercise in comparison, not a ploy to get her shit-faced.

D] "Because you're worth it"

Don't go for the cheapest wine on the list. Take a step up in class and reap the rewards later on.

Conversation

37. If you've kicked on smewhere funky after dinner, shift the eveing up a bit by ordering a cocktail. But if she asks for a Screaming Orgasm, don't at anytime counter by ordering a Quick Fuck.

38. Before you get to actual conversation, just make sure that if you're drinking a cocktail, you're not twirling a little umbrella. It looks incredibly gay. Trust me.

39. Talk is cheap - except on dates where the right connection might just get you laid. Have something intersting to say. Avoid stories about ex girlfriends, mothers, babies, etc, etc.

40. Probably est not to talk about your time in the service smoking weed, or how you got that nasty case of crabs.

41. Don't try and be smarter than you are, smartass. No tall tales, no talking about stuff you know nothing about. You get pulled up on totse for it, you might get pulled up on a date for talking rubbish too.

42. Don't mention womenly functions or bits and pieces. If you do you're single for a reason.

43. Ask her about herself. What do you do? How did you get into that? What's your family like? What do you want to do in life?

- Encourage any harebrained scheme she might come out with "No, no, you'd make a wonderful medieval re-enactor. I can totally see you whipping a massive stallion...

44. Try not to swear, or swear too much.

45. Don't let any spit launch itself whilst talking. Chicks don't seem to dig that.

The trip home

-Rounding third base-

46. Look for the signals. If she's ON, she'll be touching your arm, holding your gaze, brushing against you, laughing louder, blinkng slower and licking her lips. If her hand is in your pants it may - just may - be a sign that you are in.

47. Judge the mood. Ask direct, suggestive but non-threatening questions. Did you enjoy yourself? Would you like to do it again? Want to inspect my bedroom ceiling?

48. Hail the taxi. Let her in the backseat first, and then follow closely. If you get the green light, frolick away...and let the driver watch. If he winks, don't wink back - if it's a she...you might be onto something...

49. By now you're on your way. But where to? If you've nailed most of the previous steps it's back to your place for a bit of foreplay along the lines of "I'm not tired, but I feel like laying down..."

50. If you're still onfused about what's going on, look for the 30 foot sign that reads "Enter her here." Found it?

Back at your place

-Closing the deal-

51. Depending on the cab ride, she may not be ready for bed just yet. Brew some coffee and spin some music to get her reheated.

52. Your choice of tune is a good indication of what sort oflover you're about to make, so choose wisely.

53. Don't drag out old photo albums to show her how cute you were as a kid. Not that you guys will be doing that. Don't have old photos of yourself laying around is what is being said. She wants to bed a man not a boy.

54. Challenge her to a game of strip blackjack. Lose.

55. If she wins, play double or nothing at Nude Twister. What do I mean 'double or nothing'? If she wins she gets to do to you what she wants, if you win, you get to do to her what you want. Rawr.

56. Tell the cat that it has the night to itself outside to prowl, killing native wildlife at will.

57. As much as you might want to, don't turn the tv on to see what episode of Walker: Texas Ranger is on.

58. Dance with her if she'll let you. Your waltz might soon become a foxtrot and then develop into a horizontal samba.

59. Don't pull the old yawn and stretch move to get your arm around. Unless she'll find it funny or cute and you both laugh.

60. Double check your bedroom of any porn mags lingering around or dirty underwear whilst she is sipping her beverage on the lounge.

61. Don't dither around. Pick your time, and suggest to head towards the bedroom together.

In the Bedroom

-The Final Countdown-

62. You've done the hard work, now don't blow it.

63. Light those candles or dim those lights. It's party in the pants time.

64. Let her set the pace. Undress her slowly like you're peeling back the petals of a delicate flower. A light touch will light a short fuse - I assure you.

65. Tell her she is beautiful and that she is special. Tell her it's the best night you've ever had since first setting your eyes on her...or since the Colts went to Superbowl. Whatever works for you both.

66. Don't rip her clothing unless she tells you that's what she wants. Remove your pants and socks in one swift movement...she doesn't want to see you in a pair of socks.

67. Trace lines around face face, nibble her ears, kiss her neck, suckle at her nipple like a naughty piglet.

68. You're there. You've done it.

The morning after

-The ins and outs of in out-

69.

DON'T: Fart, roll out of bed or thank her for coming (either sense). Don't leave to go down to the bar to brag to your friends. Don't forget her name.

DO: Wake before her, then go brew a coffee. Suck in that sweet smell of success. If it's time for her to go offer to drive her yourself or call her a taxi and be prepared to pay, kiss her like you mean it and don't leave anything open ended if you're keen for a second meet. Subtly get a second meeting organised. Job done.

This HAS to be archived. It took a chunk of my life away.

Nice article.

But...now I never want to be in the dating scene again.

If anyone says this is a cut and paste they'll get a knife blade thrusted into the Adams Apple or if they don't have one...somewhere naughty

[This message has been edited by Trousersnake (edited 03-15-2007).]

Archive. Now.

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

This HAS to be archived. It took a chunk of my life away.

SECONDED

good read btw.

Ok it was slashed and painted.

Just kidding.

[This message has been edited by Siash (edited 03-15-2007).]

Good post.

Now, that I'm done reading that. I'm going to pass out.

If long automatically equalled good, this would be a lot better.

I read the whole thing..

Nice.

lol fuck that i'd rather do it in two

1. spit game

2. take her back to my apartment

Archive.

Wait, I'm NOT supposed to fart or keep my porn out on the floor? I'm skeptical of this plan.

I've seen worst suggestions.

The bill paying part is nonsense.

So I've got to pay for the meal, the drinks, the taxi back to my place, and her taxi away from my place in the morning... just to get laid?

Wouldn't it be cheaper to get a hooker?

You get an A for effort, but Leykis 101 is so much more effective.

It's really sad how some people are so bad at life that they need a walkthrough for the simplest things

And what's the fucking point in elaborate cliched games just to get in her pants. Why do you degrade yourself? Why do you waste money in getting sex if it all relies on her buying into your bullshit? Where's the walkthrough for the morning after when the putz reading your guide gets that far and she sees what he really is? Or are you satisfied with legalized prostitution?

InB4Archive

I couldn't think of any better way to waste 5 minutes of my life.

How about... I just be myself and fuck off all of those steps. That way I'm not being fake and hence I won't get someone fake

way too fuckin stoned to read all that. but i'm sure it's .. efficient lol xD good thing it's goin in the archives

Personally I always found the 'hey, do ya wanna fuck?' approach worked best. Infact , the better looking the woman the more likely she is to say 'yes PLEASE!'

But , then again, I AM a SEX GOD, whom no woman can resist.



Oh Lord, why didst thou curse me thus??!

Oh and btw, I am so not going to archive this for the simple reason that he is just plain WRONG!

The stone cold sad truth of it is that if she was planning on sleeping with you then she'd do it whether you offered her Chateau Neuf and caviar or a mug of coffee and a chocolate biccy

Infact you'd probably stand more chance with the mug of coffee.

JK speaks the truth.

I get more ass now being the complete dick I am than I ever did pretending to be a nice guy and spending money.

Being a nice and sensitive guy(and I was, despite my talk on here,) I got dumped by my 'soulmate.' Being a dick, I fucked her best friend doggystyle.

[This message has been edited by The_Rabbi (edited 03-15-2007).]

Archive the fuck out of this.

bored huh?

Though many of the tips are in fact quite usefull to any half witted moron, the overall content of this post will only work on an extremely small niche of women.

Read it all, must have taken you a while to write.

Very good, still I think its a bit over the top for most of the girls im dealing with at this time in life. None of them are worth that sort of high class treatment.

But still: Read, know, do!

Perfect. I think it should be archived.

This deserves to be archived.

That was an amazing post.

...simpler option: go for country girls.

All you need is your front teeth and you're set, you'll have chicks swinging off your dick.

HAHA

I have the attention span of a humming bird and I read that begginning to end... twice.

Well done Trousersnake, extremely informative and quite witty.

Topic: "Seduction in 1 Step"

step_1:Get a Gun=forcible Sex

example: "Come with me are I'll SHOOT you"

Tha dahh

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

56. Tell the cat that it has the night to itself outside to prowl, killing native wildlife at will.

Making jokes for the Antipodeans, +1

quote:Originally posted by Strakynyar Krongoth:

Archive.

Read it all and showed it to a friend with some trouble, he thanks you.

Fucking baz! To someone who isn't a socially confounded virgin-like TOTSE's premier membership, your entire post is dumb ass shit.

Those 'ask for men' or 'mens weekly' articles that have this bogus, social manual shit in it are exactly the damn same thing. But at least they get paid for it. You however have written 'a chunk of your life away' with the delusion that this is new information.

May as well just buy a whore...this isn't a manual for a relationship, which is the only instance I can imagine running the gauntlet of social grace.





[This message has been edited by Bazzle (edited 03-15-2007).]

Archive.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

If long automatically equalled good, this would be a lot better.

My thoughts exactly. How is a guy like Trouser snake who is in here every other week because he can't get his dick wet, trying to make an archived article on how to get girls?

Some of the stuff was funny, but this is just general sense. Der...that is all.

Wait wait wait, don't you constantly post complaining about how you can't get women?

Turns out I have the highest of standards and I need to do this sort of thing to get the women most people can't get or the girl you are told to forget about.

There's none here where I live. So I have to venture to find them too. I thought it was a 'me' problem but it's location...so you won't see those threads anymore...maybe in Bitch & Moan to vent.

This may just be 'general sense' but be honest with me...some of you need it.

How many times have we had a thread in here asking how to tell if a girl is interested?

quote:If she's ON, she'll be touching your arm, holding your gaze, brushing against you, laughing louder, blinkIng slower and licking her lips. If her hand is in your pants it may - just may - be a sign that you are in.

Anyhow if this isn't a quality post that tells me something about S&A.

Glad some people like it.

great job, looks like it took you a while, something i might add about dinner is that when you talked about encouriging her to try something new, its always good to have been to the resturant before so you can tell her what you enjoyed, also that makes you look better saying that i know my foods. that and offering to let her try whatever you get, or if they say i want to try this but they get something thats always the same on every menu, get what they had mentioned they wanted and let them try that. from my experience they love it.

mega props on this one.

as a girl, if a guy did all of those things, i'd see him as a romantic and would be turned off if he tried to get me into bed that night.

jackketch is right when he says you don't need those things, a girl has already decided. doing those things is trying way way too hard. just be yourself. that way the sex won't be a once off.

also, imagining having to try and keep that up. that's a lot of work and a lot of money.

quote:Originally posted by NoSkills:

as a girl

Pics or bullshit.



Edit: Oh, wait, this isn't SG. Damn you hot topics!

[This message has been edited by Shizno (edited 03-16-2007).]

This is a great post, but I think its a little overboard. All the suggestions are great, and I think it would be a really good date if a guy did 5 or 10 of those, but all of them are just too much

It is the guide to gentlemanly conduct, mixed with old porno tricks, very nice, but alas, many women seem to fall for the asses, leaving the nice guys alone for quite some time. Love the post.

Just had to return to remind everyone that it does say "seduction" not a quick and easy root. Perhaps when you take that into consideration all this isn't that far out.

I agree with you NoSkills and I'm not the person to be wanting everything in one night anyway but it might work for someone.

As for $$$ I think my "Because you're worth it" bit says it all - I wouldn't do this for just anyone.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I've seen worst suggestions.

The bill paying part is nonsense.

LOL reminds me of a time my date paid because i blew all my money on booze the night before...........we never saw each other after that...

quote:Originally posted by NoSkills:

as a girl, if a guy did all of those things, i'd see him as a romantic and would be turned off if he tried to get me into bed that night.

jackketch is right when he says you don't need those things, a girl has already decided. doing those things is trying way way too hard. just be yourself. that way the sex won't be a once off.

also, imagining having to try and keep that up. that's a lot of work and a lot of money.

I just had to say that I like this post a lot. Since most guys are just looking to fuck, and put off an image that is different from themselves, and wonder why the girl is turned off after 4 months. Put yourself out there as you are going to act. Having to be somebody just to have a girl/guy like you would seem to be very draining.

quote:Originally posted by stringfire:

Topic: "Seduction in 1 Step"

step_1:Get a Gun=forcible Sex

example: "Come with me are I'll SHOOT you"

Tha dahh

LMAO!

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

This HAS to be archived. It took a chunk of my life away.

qft

Much appreciated. :P

Archive!

I have already said I don't intend to archive this. But if enough girls here tell me I'm wrong and TS is right then I will reconsider.

Also we have 3 other mods, all more senior than me, so they may perhaps also decide to archive it.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I have already said I don't intend to archive this. But if enough girls here tell me I'm wrong and TS is right then I will reconsider.

Also we have 3 other mods, all more senior than me, so they may perhaps also decide to archive it.

Some of it is just common sense; basic hygene is important, as are manners.

It's a neat guide, but many women won't even notice if you don't adhere to this formula.

I remember I went round to this man's house, and he cooked food for us. It was lovely of him, and nice food.. but there was so much of it, and I wanted to get upstairs already!

I think I'd love to be taken out to dinner and treated like a lady, but if it's a guy I liked, I wouldn't care that much whether he did or not, and if it was a guy I didn't like, it might just be damn awkward.

What Jack said about the chateau neuf and coffee is correct, in my opinion.

This is fucking stupid.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

JK speaks the truth.

I get more ass now being the complete dick I am than I ever did pretending to be a nice guy and spending money.

Being a nice and sensitive guy(and I was, despite my talk on here,) I got dumped by my 'soulmate.' Being a dick, I fucked her best friend doggystyle.



My friend...I don't know what happened in your marraige, but you shouldn't let it destroy who you were. I always thought you were sweet and sensitive (despite your talk on here.:P) When did all of this happen to you?

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:



My friend...I don't know what happened in your marraige, but you shouldn't let it destroy who you were. I always thought you were sweet and sensitive (despite your talk on here.:P) When did all of this happen to you?

I'm still sweet and sensitive. I'm just far more cautious and careful about whom I reveal it to. It'll be a very long time before I try a relationship again.

[This message has been edited by The_Rabbi (edited 03-16-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

This HAS to be archived. It took a chunk of my life away.

Plus, this post makes me think it was written with the express intention of getting archived.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

I'm still sweet and sensitive. I'm just far more cautious and careful about whom I reveal it to. It'll be a very long time before I try a relationship again.



What is funny about this, is you see a lot of women ask for sensitive men. Then when they get a sensitive guy they fuck him up, hence why most guys are assholes and women have a hard time marrying after age 30.

Delicious copypasta.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

What is funny about this, is you see a lot of women ask for sensitive men. Then when they get a sensitive guy they fuck him up, hence why most guys are assholes and women have a hard time marrying after age 30.

That's a bunch of malarky.

If a "sensitive guy" ends up being an asshole because of a few women, then that guy did not have a strong sense of who he is in the first place.

As far as women having a hard time marrying after age thirty...that's because they've learned to be in control of their lives and have difficulty letting go of that control. Marriage takes a lot of compromise.

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

This HAS to be archived. It took a chunk of my life away.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

JK speaks the truth.

I get more ass now being the complete dick I am than I ever did pretending to be a nice guy and spending money.

Being a nice and sensitive guy(and I was, despite my talk on here,) I got dumped by my 'soulmate.' Being a dick, I fucked her best friend doggystyle.



I couldn't fucking agree more!!!

don't, I mean NEVER BE the nice guy. the truth is being a dick you stand far more better chance of getting someone+pussy.

even women have told me they prefer the assholes over the good boys wimp. because they want to feel protected...then again its ironic that they whine so much when they get cheated on. Oh wel i rather get what I want.

A. The people that truly need a guide like this, would need a guide to getting a date in the first place.

2. Waste of money.

III. This feels like a compilation of a bunch of cheesy articles from mens magazines.

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

<LI>. I actually do like your style of writing. Nice humor and wit. I just don't like what you're writing.

</UL>

D. What's all this emphasis on going to restaurants and eating? Is it a lack of creativity? What's the guide follower going to do when the girl he took out to eat wants another date? Take her out to eat again, and when she gets tired of that? I personally like to hang out with girls and get to know them in friendly environments. You know, go for a walk at the park, share a blunt, go to the movies, put-put golf, etc. before I spend any serious money. If you're with some girl you barely know who you invited to eat, you're making a very risky investment. I don't think I want a girl who only eats.

5. The Rabbi couldn't spew any more truth if you tried to beat it out of him with a hammer. Teasing her, making jokes, establishing some respect for myself, etc. worked way better than when I was some geeky nice dude ready to do anything. You may think it's being nice to let her choose everything, but that just lets her know she's in control, can walk all over you, and most of all you're indecisive and lack confidence. I've learned to completely change my way of thinking in much the same way rabbi has. It's not so much being a dick as it is establishing yourself as an alpha male. It doesn't mean you're never sweet and never nice.

[...]

69. Loooooooong.



[This message has been edited by Zay (edited 03-16-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

That's a bunch of malarky.

If a "sensitive guy" ends up being an asshole because of a few women, then that guy did not have a strong sense of who he is in the first place.

As far as women having a hard time marrying after age thirty...that's because they've learned to be in control of their lives and have difficulty letting go of that control. Marriage takes a lot of compromise.



You are a moron. For you to think that women have no control over men's lives is fucking ludicrous. Being emotionally scarred by someone or something is going to make you feel resentful towards it. Which is for every woman out there who fucks up one good man by being a bitch, she is just perpetuating the cycle of assholes.

Women bring all their misery onto themselves.

if you need a fucking guide to tell you to wear clean underwear on a date and 68 other of the most common sense bull shit secrets of seduction, you don't fucking deserve the chance to procreate you fucking idiot

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

You are a moron. For you to think that women have no control over men's lives is fucking ludicrous. Being emotionally scarred by someone or something is going to make you feel resentful towards it. Which is for every woman out there who fucks up one good man by being a bitch, she is just perpetuating the cycle of assholes.

Women bring all their misery onto themselves.



It sounds to me like you saying that men are the weaker sex. Even if that very fact might bring misery unto a woman, it would be she who holds the power. So that power is also perpetuated by the weakness of men.

I think it's all malarkey. Take responsibility for your own life, and while you're at it...don't choose a bitch.

Have this thread helped anyone yet? Who is in the process of following this?.::

Even if you dont agree with this, it still deserves to be archived as a thorough and detailed veiwpoint/plan. Look at some of the utter crap they have archived for bad ideas and whatnot! Archive this pig, pronto.

Wow... some of it's common sense and the rest is just bullshit. Why would you write this?

If people want to learn seduction, then they should pick up a book about evolutionary psychology.

I say just fuck all the way. that'll make her happy!

meh to long didn't read me

great read.

www.themysterymethod.com (http://www.themysterymethod.com)

Most people here are too fucking stupid to see the value in Mystery's stuff. Honestly, David DeAngelo? Pfff...

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



It sounds to me like you saying that men are the weaker sex. Even if that very fact might bring misery unto a woman, it would be she who holds the power. So that power is also perpetuated by the weakness of men.

I think it's all malarkey. Take responsibility for your own life, and while you're at it...don't choose a bitch.

Actually I don't think there is a weaker sex. To me everything balances out to a point where men need women, just like women need men. However in the sense I am talking about women do have a lot of power in the realm of social endavors. So they are creating there own misery by hurting a lot of "good" guys and then later resenting it because all the good guys are now assholes.

Look at The_Rabbi for an example, he said now he gets more pussy being an asshole then when he was a nice guy.

Thank God ive been with my gf for a couple years now... Good read though

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



If a "sensitive guy" ends up being an asshole because of a few women, then that guy did not have a strong sense of who he is in the first place.



Oh, I know who I am. I am and always was a psychotic, violent BPD asshole. The one control on that, the one thing that kept me in line pretty much cast me into the abyss.

The only difference in the me from a year ago and the me now is that I now see the benefits of more casual encounters. Far less heartache. When I say I'm an asshole to women, I don't mean that I mistreat them. Far as I know, every girl I've been with has thoroughly enjoyed their time with me(especially considering I'm pretty incredible in the sack.) I just choose now to not open myself up until I deem them worthy of it.

And really, that's what every man does. We don't reveal ourselves to strangers.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

And really, that's what every man does. We don't reveal ourselves to strangers.

As do women who have experienced some pain in their life.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Actually I don't think there is a weaker sex. To me everything balances out to a point where men need women, just like women need men. However in the sense I am talking about women do have a lot of power in the realm of social endavors. So they are creating there own misery by hurting a lot of "good" guys and then later resenting it because all the good guys are now assholes.

Look at The_Rabbi for an example, he said now he gets more pussy being an asshole then when he was a nice guy.



Usually the good guys are taken by the time some women are looking to settle down. Or so a lot of women believe. Personally, I too think it's all balanced. Even The_Rabbi confesses to being an asshole by nature. Almost sounds like he met his match, and she turned it on him....I guess. (unless I misunderstand his posts)

As far as "getting pussy" goes....is it really that difficult to get laid these days?

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I have already said I don't intend to archive this. But if enough girls here tell me I'm wrong and TS is right then I will reconsider.

Also we have 3 other mods, all more senior than me, so they may perhaps also decide to archive it.





You are wrong. Archive this NOW.

This may have something to do with me promising my eternal love to TS but I really don't see the correlation.

&lt;3

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



As far as "getting pussy" goes....is it really that difficult to get laid these days?

Phoning the Animal Refuge works for me...:P

Very nice, very nice, but I think you missed an essential part of the movie...........How to get a GIRL TO ACTUALLY GO ON A DATE WITH ME?????

I'm going to be honest. I'm psychotic, narcissistic, and I have a huuuuge mean streak. I completely ignore women when I'm around them.

I get pussy ALL THE TIME. I mean, seriously, thousands of women cannot all be wrong. The truth is: women like MEN. A man is typically not what you want it to be.

^ True that. Now I'm no Tucker Max or Don Juan Tenorio, but I do get laid fairly often. I am told by girls that I am "one of the nicest guys" and "really sweet" and more importantly "real" and "true" and I do not even try to be a nice guy.



Treat women like adults; they do not want to be taken out on dates you are paying for, have you shower them with presents and gifts, cook them food, ON THE FIRST DATE! You are just setting yourself up for a cycle of dependency which you won't shake, because she will hold (potential) sex over your head to keep you enslaved!

Get out now!

I repeat, do NOT listen to this guide. It simply will not get you laid as it claims to. Most of the advice may get you a couple dates and girls thinking you're a nice dude who would be great to introduce to mom and dad, but not get their pussy throbbing. Fuckin a..

quote:Originally posted by H4T3:

I'm going to be honest. I'm psychotic, narcissistic, and I have a huuuuge mean streak. I completely ignore women when I'm around them.

I get pussy ALL THE TIME. I mean, seriously, thousands of women cannot all be wrong. The truth is: women like MEN. A man is typically not what you want it to be.

Shut up, you are a fag Army bitch who has dreams of jacking off his fellow Battle Buddy. No one needs to hear your bullshit that even before you are out of Highschool thousands of women have come a knocking.

You do realize we are talking about women right? Not the 14 year old sluts who open their legs to half a can of Budweiser.

"57. As much as you might want to, don't turn the tv on to see what episode of Walker: Texas Ranger is on."

But Chuck Norris!

Seduction in 1 step: Confidence

beautiful

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Archived Threads: S&A archives are pathetic. Mainly due to the fact that Wintermute, Spiffy, and myself never archived anything despite all the great threads we've had.

Hmmmmmm

yah.

i liked trousersnake. it was very well written, it stated the facts of how you can get a girl the classy way. i mean shit of course there is the other ways like most of us do. but those are easy. ya you spit game and flirt. but this was the real manual on how to things rights. nice write-up.

+1

I knew it wouldn't fit my style as soon as it said don't go anywhere where the patrons are using hard drugs(well ok, I'll admit that's a bad idea for the first date with someone you just met, but I personally don't do the "date" thing in that respect anyway). And sure enough I was right, it's all either common sense or focuses entirely on restaurants and high-society snobbishness. There are very few women who would be at all attracted to a guy that follows this and then even they won't be turned on by it but instead see you as someone nice to bring home to mom and dad(meanwhile they end up fucking your bestfriend who decided to break a few rules, be exciting, and have some fun). And it certainly wouldn't attract anyone I want nor does it suit me, I want someone who's down to earth, exciting, not affriad to break the rules(or the law), and most of all not fake! Jackketch and Rabbi are right, this guide sucks.

Just be yourself people! Unless of course "yourself" happens to be a total loser in which case LEARN! Be confident and just go with the flow, roll with the punches, and try to have some fun along the way. Just being an easy-going laid back person that knows how to enjoy themselves and doesn't worry about much will get you much further than this guide ever could.

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 03-27-2007).]

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[This message has been edited by mikeoxlong (edited 03-28-2007).]

LOL, Pinball Mgruff had to edit his post because he couldn't get the code right the first time.

Good read. I was surprised when I got to the end and I didn't see a source. I can't believe this came from a totsean

wow just wow its no wonder why TS is single. It all makes perfect sense now to why he is single

quote:Originally posted by CB radio

Shut up, you are a fag Army bitch who has dreams of jacking off his fellow Battle Buddy. No one needs to hear your bullshit that even before you are out of Highschool thousands of women have come a knocking.

You do realize we are talking about women right? Not the 14 year old sluts who open their legs to half a can of Budweiser.



Oh yeah? I bet you have yyyyyeeeaaaarrrrsss of experience, huh? I wasn't just saying me. Rabbi, Ketch, and any of the other "dickheads" on this forum have probably had enough women to prove that the dickhead method works really well.

I'm out of highschool, I have been for 1 1/2 years. I'm halfway through college. You get laid A LOT in college. P-p-p-put it together dumbass.