I need idea's.

Idea's on how to meet up with my girlfriend, I'll give you a little back story.

We met on the Internet back in August and thing started getting serious around November. We've been together since, through the rough and great times. We both really want to meet each other, but problem is its 600m apart. It's quite hard to live everyday when the only thing you want is so far away.

Our original plan was for her to convince her parents to let me stay there for a week or two, well that failed, reasoning; they weren't comfortable. This sucked, greatly, as we kept our hopes up.

Our second plan was for me to travel and stay at her friend of a friends brothers house, he has a decent sized home and vacant rooms. But today that deal has been closed as the reply was no..

Now, we've thought up a bunch of radical idea's like sleeping with each other in her car, or in the woods in a tent, or me taking a bus down and driving with her to my house. And the reason she can't visit me here, is because her parents wont allow that either.

So, Totse, we've come to your aid. Any experiences with this kind of thing? and any idea's on how we could get together?. Either way we will meet each other, it needs to happen or I'll go crazy. We're looking for better idea's, if not we'll have to wait. =/

She's 17, I'll be 17 in April.. so..

Plz



[This message has been edited by Influx (edited 03-13-2007).]

I guess you mean 600Km.

If your both in the US go on a road trip with some mate and just so happen to go to her town.

If not go on holiday to her town, unless your in different countries in which case its a bit more complicated because your parents may not like it. Claim its an exchange program :P

She should talk to her parents and find out exactly why they're not comfortable with it. And you should talk to her parents too; let them know you're who you say you are. Be friendly, explain your intentions (if your intentions aren't honourable, lie but they should be), explain how you feel about their daughter (in as much detail as they need to know; grand declarations of love might not go down well), and above all let them know you're a good guy. Suggest a meeting with them present, and/or your parents. Maybe even have your parents talk to them too, just a friendly phone-chat type thing. It might seem awkward but if they can be won over it'll be much easier. If they're stubborn, maybe ask her to try to explain that you're going to meet however you can but you'd really love a safe and comfortable place to be together. However, I don't think you should embark on any of your crazy plans because you'd just burn any fledgling bridges with her parents (and mightily piss yours off too, I'd bet) and in this kind of relationship it really would be a huge bonus to have them on-side.

How do your parents feel about it?

quote:Originally posted by Mr.J:

I guess you mean 600Km.

If your both in the US go on a road trip with some mate and just so happen to go to her town.

If not go on holiday to her town, unless your in different countries in which case its a bit more complicated because your parents may not like it. Claim its an exchange program :P



It is 600 miles.. He is in Canada, and I'm in the US.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

She should talk to her parents and find out exactly why they're not comfortable with it. And you should talk to her parents too; let them know you're who you say you are. Be friendly, explain your intentions (if your intentions aren't honourable, lie but they should be), explain how you feel about their daughter (in as much detail as they need to know; grand declarations of love might not go down well), and above all let them know you're a good guy. Suggest a meeting with them present, and/or your parents. Maybe even have your parents talk to them too, just a friendly phone-chat type thing. It might seem awkward but if they can be won over it'll be much easier. If they're stubborn, maybe ask her to try to explain that you're going to meet however you can but you'd really love a safe and comfortable place to be together. However, I don't think you should embark on any of your crazy plans because you'd just burn any fledgling bridges with her parents (and mightily piss yours off too, I'd bet) and in this kind of relationship it really would be a huge bonus to have them on-side.

How do your parents feel about it?



My parents said they would support me through whatever. I also know they wouldn't care to much about her staying here for a bit either, thats the plan anyways, she'll be living here for a bit until we get our own place, than move away once I'm done college.

I'd really like for our parents to talk, I think it would make things a lot less...uhm, what you said, make connections. And the crazy idea's are only a last LAST resort.

[This message has been edited by Influx (edited 03-13-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

She should talk to her parents and find out exactly why they're not comfortable with it. And you should talk to her parents too; let them know you're who you say you are. Be friendly, explain your intentions (if your intentions aren't honourable, lie but they should be), explain how you feel about their daughter (in as much detail as they need to know; grand declarations of love might not go down well), and above all let them know you're a good guy. Suggest a meeting with them present, and/or your parents. Maybe even have your parents talk to them too, just a friendly phone-chat type thing. It might seem awkward but if they can be won over it'll be much easier. If they're stubborn, maybe ask her to try to explain that you're going to meet however you can but you'd really love a safe and comfortable place to be together. However, I don't think you should embark on any of your crazy plans because you'd just burn any fledgling bridges with her parents (and mightily piss yours off too, I'd bet) and in this kind of relationship it really would be a huge bonus to have them on-side.

How do your parents feel about it?

I think that is really good advice. He hasn't talked to my parents yet, and I haven't talked to his..

I think telling them I'll see him no matter what would be a bad idea though, and they would just think I'm threatening them.

quote:Originally posted by Khepri:

I think telling them I'll see him no matter what would be a bad idea though, and they would just think I'm threatening them.

Well, I didn't mean putting it across explicitly, more that you really want to see him and that you'd really appreciate it if they'd allow it. I didn't phrase it too well though. Do you know what it is specifically your parents don't like about the idea of you two meeting?

Influx, it's good that your parents at least are on-side (or at least not too concerned ). Adults tend to trust adults (and especially other parents) more than they do kids, and if they could talk to each other it might go quite a long way towards allaying their fears. I do hope it all goes well, and best of luck!

(Incidentally, this is mostly coming from my own experience. My relationship started fairly similarly and having parents and relatives of the other we get on well with is a big bonus. It goes beyond permission; they're actively willing to help and it can make things a lot easier, especially transport and having places to stay. Plus, it's just nice to be on good terms )

EDIT: ytpo.

[This message has been edited by Mr.Happy (edited 03-13-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

Well, I didn't mean putting it across explicitly, more that you really want to see him and that you'd really appreciate it if they'd allow it. I didn't phrase it too well though. Do you know what it is specifically your parents don't like about the idea of you two meeting?



I just asked my Mom if she would talk to him at some point, and she said, "Well, it won't make me change my mind." Bleh.. I don't know why they don't trust me, I just want this to work.

We'll see what happens if our parents talk, hopefully that'll...help.

If not we'll have to wait until she's 18 to do anything, which is in October but eh..sooner the better =(.



Thanks Mr. Happy.

shes a girl looking for love on the internet? girls dont use the internet so shes obviously a 40 year old dude wanting to pound you tender 17 year old ass till the lube runs red.

quote:Originally posted by bassman:

shes a girl looking for love on the internet? girls dont use the internet so shes obviously a 40 year old dude wanting to pound you tender 17 year old ass till the lube runs red.

GTFO my internet, moron.

quote:Originally posted by bassman:

shes a girl looking for love on the internet? girls dont use the internet so shes obviously a 40 year old dude wanting to pound you tender 17 year old ass till the lube runs red.

I'm 100% sure she isn't a 40 year old :P

I love her to death.

And GTFO.

meh i didnt mean that, just wanted a cheap laugh. like others have said, all you can do is wait a bit longer.

quote:Originally posted by bassman:

meh i didnt mean that, just wanted a cheap laugh. like others have said, all you can do is wait a bit longer.

It's okay I most likely would have said the same thing. It's just so damn hard to wait..

Khepri is a nice girl. I'd suggest to Influx that you begin saving your money and have your parents speak with her and her parents. Doing something like this takes capital and determination. I know that you have one.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Khepri is a nice girl. I'd suggest to Influx that you begin saving your money and have your parents speak with her and her parents. Doing something like this takes capital and determination. I know that you have one.



Working on the money thing, we both are. And yeah, we eventually will get to that part...hopefully. Either way we'll be together in the end and thats a vow I've taken the day we decided on it.

Listen to Euda on this one and also emailing Vamp+Berith might be a help (I'm sure she has some amusing stories about her own mom's reaction at the news that some 20 year old man off the net wanted to meet her daughter..)

The way I see it is that if the interweb never discovers that this is plot between Influx and khepri, no one will ever be the wiser.

Oooops... rereading this thread completely, guess it is too late for that now.

Best of luck to both of you, but from my standpoint, you are both a bit young for making any kind of life-long commitment.

Enjoy each other if you can!

k, here's what you do, save money, lots of money, buy a 2 way plane ticket to the nearest airport (after discussing it with her parents) explain that you don't plan to stay with them, or her stay with you. Then make hotel/motel reservations at a place near by, make sure you sleep there alone as to gain her parents trust. See, your main goal on this trip is to get to know her parents, tell them that. Tell them you want them to trust you and trust thier daughter with you (I know it sucks, but in the long run it will seriously pay off). After gaining thier trust, try to make plans on continuing with your previous ones with your g/f. On top of everything, girls love it when thier b/f tries to get to know her parents and gain thier trust. Give it a shot and let me know how it worked.

~ Blaydes

quote:Originally posted by Blaydes:

k, here's what you do, save money, lots of money, buy a 2 way plane ticket to the nearest airport (after discussing it with her parents) explain that you don't plan to stay with them, or her stay with you. Then make hotel/motel reservations at a place near by, make sure you sleep there alone as to gain her parents trust. See, your main goal on this trip is to get to know her parents, tell them that. Tell them you want them to trust you and trust thier daughter with you (I know it sucks, but in the long run it will seriously pay off). After gaining thier trust, try to make plans on continuing with your previous ones with your g/f. On top of everything, girls love it when thier b/f tries to get to know her parents and gain thier trust. Give it a shot and let me know how it worked.

~ Blaydes



I don't think he could get a room at a motel or anything, he isn't 18 yet..

Okay, finding out its Khepri (hot by the way, kudos) and its across international lines, this will be incredibly complicated considering a minor cannot cross international lines without proper consent. Depending on where along the canada/us border you are, I might be able to help further, so, khepri, what state do you live in? (its important to my further helping you two)



k, so khepri, i checked your profile and I don't know a thing about maine, but let me do some research and I'll post back hopefully with more help, ive been in your situation before and no one helped me and it all fell apart, and I don't want to see that cuz it sucks





[This message has been edited by Blaydes (edited 03-14-2007).]

K, this in the best I can come up with since I don't know the cities you two are in, try to talk your parents into planning a trip to Niagra Falls, for like spring break, tell them that you both want to meet and it would be so much easier if both persons parents were there, it would take the pressure off of both of you and them, plus they could get to know each other, and even though you both are young, it could lead into a life time thing. These topics are very touchy, especially with your parents khepri, include them as much as you can so they don't feel like their daughter is being stolen away. On top of everything, I'm sure they are not comfortable with you two meeting alone due the the numerous news reports of internet stalkers, and no matter how much you tell them he's not there is no way to be sure, hence him bringing his parents as well. If you both have the support of your parents the other's parents will see that and all should work out well. Well, thats all I have and I hope I helped your situation.

P.S. I know including your parents sucks, but it is really the only way I see them being okay with this. And with you both being minors, they have the ultimate dicision. Good Luck!

quote:Originally posted by Blaydes:

Okay, finding out its Khepri (hot by the way, kudos) and its across international lines, this will be incredibly complicated considering a minor cannot cross international lines without proper consent. Depending on where along the canada/us border you are, I might be able to help further, so, khepri, what state do you live in? (its important to my further helping you two)



k, so khepri, i checked your profile and I don't know a thing about maine, but let me do some research and I'll post back hopefully with more help, ive been in your situation before and no one helped me and it all fell apart, and I don't want to see that cuz it sucks





Yeah, this whole situation is quite difficult. It's nice to know that people want to help, though.

I really want this to work, more than anything.

I sent another post khepri, read it and reply.

By the way i'm not some wierd old man, i'm 21, and didn't mean to freak you out with the "hot" thing, disregard that whole first sentence, cuz I don't know why I said it.

Lol. I'm no internet stalker =((

quote:Originally posted by Influx:

Lol. I'm no internet stalker =((

I know that, but her parents don't, thats why they have reserves about the situation, read what I said about Niagra Falls, and if I was off on location, put your own place in there, cuz I was guessing you are around toronto somewhere

quote:Originally posted by Blaydes:

I know that, but her parents don't, thats why they have reserves about the situation, read what I said about Niagra Falls, and if I was off on location, put your own place in there, cuz I was guessing you are around toronto somewhere

Haha, I doubt they do, well thats what she said :P

My parents refer to her as the girlfriend, so I know that they don't think that. Her parents refer to me as, the boyfriend.

I think they know I'm legitimate, but meh.

Well, thats good to hear, I'm just brainstorming for ya, so some shit might sound crazy...but I'm gunna say it anyway...cuz I have no one else to talk to...

quote:Originally posted by Blaydes:

Well, thats good to hear, I'm just brainstorming for ya, so some shit might sound crazy...but I'm gunna say it anyway...cuz I have no one else to talk to...

Lol and I appreciate it.

MSN: nomthewise@gmail.com

if ya wanna talk about random crap :P

Never going to work out, buddy. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you. You're seventeen, you are NOT in love with your soul mate, and you will NOT be traveling across international borders to meet an internet infatuation anytime soon. Seriously, get real.

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Never going to work out, buddy. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you. You're seventeen, you are NOT in love with your soul mate, and you will NOT be traveling across international borders to meet an internet infatuation anytime soon. Seriously, get real.

You had a bad experience, huh?

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

You had a bad experience, huh?

Seriously, fuck that dude...

Canada and Maine? Correct?

Why not go on a trip to Niagra falls together? Or for that matter, a trip ANYWHERE together?

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Never going to work out, buddy. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you. You're seventeen, you are NOT in love with your soul mate, and you will NOT be traveling across international borders to meet an internet infatuation anytime soon. Seriously, get real.

Looks like someone got fucked over. Ha. And really, why the fuck do you care? It isn't any of your business. I posted this thread to ask for idea's on how we could meet, not for some asshole telling me this isn't going to work. We're going to defy and beat people like you, this will work and I know it will.

And what you're forgetting is, a lot of people my age are a lot more mature than the majority, and have that brain capacity to make such decisions. Believe me, I know, this is risky and might not work, but I'm willing to take that risk. So, go away.

Khepri, if your parents refer tohim as the boyfriend this is a good sign. A bad sign would be them refusing to acknowledge him.

Your parents are worried that you don't know what you're getting into, or that they will lose you.

This is my advice. It's what a friend did.

Tell your parents he wants to come visit. Say that he's willing to meet them and get to know the family. Arrange some things for you ALL to do together. (Meet in a mall, go out for dinner, go to the zoo, who cares! Don't be sucking face though that might not go over well).

Have him stay in a hotel, not at your house (gaining trust!!). If he can't rent a room, ask your parents if they would rent the room for him, (not pay for it, just rent it for him to stay in).

Once you have all met and had a good time, maybe next time they would let him stay at your home.

Don't be sneaky, it won't help. Try to be mature and respect your parents wishes.

Having his parents talk to yours might also help. Get them to phone and have a chat.

Good luck, I really hope this works out for you two. If nothing workse, seriously, just hang on. Don't do anything silly. Wait a little longer and do things properly, no crazy plans.

Again, GOOD LUCK!!!

quote:Originally posted by Influx:

Looks like someone got fucked over. Ha. And really, why the fuck do you care? It isn't any of your business. I posted this thread to ask for idea's on how we could meet, not for some asshole telling me this isn't going to work. We're going to defy and beat people like you, this will work and I know it will.

And what you're forgetting is, a lot of people my age are a lot more mature than the majority, and have that brain capacity to make such decisions. Believe me, I know, this is risky and might not work, but I'm willing to take that risk. So, go away.

Wow, that sounds familiar. Personally, I haven't been fucked over by any attempts at a long distance relationship, but I've watched it happen to many close friends. They get all wrapped up in how they're going to beat the odds and prove everyone wrong, but they always get fucked over in the end.

Be fully prepared to find a way to travel 600 miles only to find out she's seeing a local guy and that no, you arn't getting any. Or perhaps it will work, best of luck to you.

I'm fully prepared for that to happen, if it does, I'll be fucking devastated and really fucking mad. But, I like to think that it wont, its a lot better.

And considering the fact that we're both on the computer 90% of the day talking to each other,I don't see the possible for a affair by either of us.

And there's a little thing called trust. I don't see this as a little e-flirt, far more than that..

[This message has been edited by Influx (edited 03-14-2007).]

I see a lot of people using my adive...even quoting me without quotes...and thats plagiarism...so now thats off my chest, the biggest issues with long distance relationships is the fact that one of the people might already be seeing someone local (yes i'm using someone elses) or might start because the distance is too much, the fact that you both are trying so hard makes me doubt that is or will happen. Now the next biggest thing...you two are talking about long term stuff...you have to keep in mind that although the mental attraction and physical(I assume you've sent picks) is there, there has to be the I guess magnetic attraction when you do meet, the best way to find this out (which will be hard given your age) is to spend like a week together, constantly together, whether you do anything sexual or not doesn't play a factor in this, after a week together it will be very black and white. Either you are tired of each other, or you can't wait to do that again and again, which I don't recommend, a week is good. At the end of the week, you will think one of 2 things, either "Wow, I'm so glad this is over" or "Wow, I am totally in love" Its all based on a comfort level and is my own technique used very successfully throughout my time in helping friends with their relationships, the ones who choose to stay together when they shouldn't are not very happy and end up breaking up, and the ones that stay together when they should have either gotten married or are planning to soon. They say dating is practice for marriage...but I take it a step further, you won't know for sure how it will be until you practice marriage for dating. wow thats deep. Keep this in mind Influx and khepri, and I hope the best for you both.

http://tinyurl.com/ykvo4g

quote:Originally posted by woopsueypigs77:

http://tinyurl.com/ykvo4g

why would you post that? honestly

Ha. I know for sure that when we meet it'll be an explosion. Something in me tells me this, and I'm going with it.

I don't know how, or why, but I found love on the internet. Now, some of you may say "OH HE JUST THINKS THIS BLAH BLAH". No, not really. I'm 100% sure. We both want this to work, I want this more than anything, and if I thought it was anything less I wouldn't be asking right now. I mean, we've even fucking talked about having kids together one day this is so serious (Don't give a shit what you all think).

Yes, the truth is there is someone else out there better for us than the person we are with now, but why would I go out and trade what I have and cherish so much right now and look for that other person? And the chance of that happening is quite low. She's like no one I have ever met, and there was a connection the day we met(on WoW, lawl). I have motivation to live, I was a horribly bitter person and hated everyone before I met her, and now? Less misanthropic. Its great, and all I can think about day and night is her, and I know for a fact she feels the same way about me.

We've decided that she will be coming here to visit during winter break, I will be going up to meet her parents for a day then we will be taking a bus back to my house. This will work 100% because she will be 18, and allowed to leave. I know for a fact my parents would be more than glad to have her here for two weeks.

Thank you to everyone that posted in this thread, be it negative help or positive =) I wuv you Totse.

Oh yes, you are so violently infatuated that this is 100% guaranteed to fail. I thought for a minute that you might maintain enough perspective to keep a cool head, but no. You are so far gone that nothing me nor the rest of Totse can say will keep you from getting your heart broken.

Sorry in advance, don't shoot yourself.

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Oh yes, you are so violently infatuated that this is 100% guaranteed to fail. I thought for a minute that you might maintain enough perspective to keep a cool head, but no. You are so far gone that nothing me nor the rest of Totse can say will keep you from getting your heart broken.

Sorry in advance, don't shoot yourself.



We weren't asking for your negative opinions. We were asking for help.

You don't know either of us, you can't judge the outcome of this.



[This message has been edited by Khepri (edited 03-15-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

She should talk to her parents and find out exactly why they're not comfortable with it. And you should talk to her parents too; let them know you're who you say you are. Be friendly, explain your intentions

EXACTLY!

If you're serious about the relationship, you WANT her parents on your side. As long as they percieve you as being open and honest, the it's all good. Most cases, they'll be a lot more flexible if you just talk to them and explain the situation. Granted, there are certain cases where parents are just assholes, but 99% of the time they're only looking to make sure their daughter is safe. Make them feel like she'll be safe and happy with you, and then no problems at all.

Yeah =P

Thus the reason I'm meeting her parents before taking the bus up to Canada. I think I'll take em out to dinner or something. By the sounds of it, seems like me and her dad will get along, both big geeks =) (thats the key, her father)