I am 15, nearly 16 and I had been going out with my girlfriend for over 2 and a half years, she was my first girlfriend and i lost my virginity to her, i loved her.

We broke up about a month back because she said i had 'changed' and she had lost her feelings for me, and then she started to chase another boy, he rejected her. She then came back to me and said she misses me and still has feelings for me, and we was trying to work through things, but yesterday, she went round one of my friends house (a boy) and kissed him Shes told me she doesn't have feelings for me and that she had tried her best, i feel so shit at the moment, i nearly ended it all when she told me yesterday over a bloody girl!!

I want to move on, and i want her to be happy, but i can see her missing me again and coming back again, i love her but i cant keep going around in this same circle!

So totse, i want some of your views and maybe some help, maybe some reasurance that i will find someone else...

Your 15. You arnt ever gunna marry someone you date at 15. Get over her, there are plenty of others. And hell, if none of them work out you could always just go gay.



Oh, and dont kill yourself.

Really.

quote:Originally posted by im5hella5cool:

Your 15. You arnt ever gunna marry someone you date at 15. Get over her, there are plenty of others. And hell, if none of them work out you could always just go gay.

I know i wasnt going to marry her, but she was like my best friend, and i always hung out with her, and now i just feel so alone



[This message has been edited by EvilFurby (edited 03-11-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by EvilFurby:

I know i wasnt going to marry her, but she was like my best friend, and i always hung out with her, and now i just feel so alone



Then be friends with her.

Or dont be.

Find other friends... again, your 15. Have fun with it, party, chill with friends. You got 3 years to do whatever you want, have fun while you can bro.

Exactly. One of my ex's is now one of my closest friends.

We're actually even closer now than we were when were going out together.

You need a little time though to get over the hurt.

I feel alone, and ive never even had the glory of someone like a girlfrind. Be happy you have that. I bet you have good friends too. Jesus dont tell me you have good friends.

Also it should be obvious that she didnt have new feelings for you when she got rejected, she ws clearly on the rebound. Shes happy enough, dont let her make you unhappy by fucking you all over the place, and falling back onto you every time she falls.

I guess your all right I knew all of this before, i just didnt want to believe it i guess.

They come and go my brotha.. the fact that you took her back after her trying to get with some douchebag pisses me off.. id kick your ass for that

the first breakup is always the worst.

Besides you're breaking several of my my rules

[I hope mods don't mind me repeating this one from time to time]

quote:rabbitweed's breakup survival kit:

__________

Memento's

All that crap you have of hers? Get rid of it. If you can't bear to see her preciously crap poetry and laughable artwork destroyed, get a shoebox, chuck everything - I mean everything – in it, and tape it up. Why tape it up? You'll be far less likely to open it that way.

Ditto for crap on the computer. Maybe chuck all the pictures, email etc. on a CD and shove it in the shoebox as well. At the very least, put it in a folder you won't come across often.

Best case scenario is if you burn it though. Especially if she's been a bitch.

Communication

By all means, get some closure. Let her explain herself, and explain yourself. But after there's nothing new to say, THAT'S IT. Block and delete her from MSN, delete her from your phone, don't visit her...if you share work or study areas change your habits to avoid her. Write some contact details down if you really think you'll forget them and want to talk to her again in the future, but the key is to make it an effort to have to talk to her. By the time you're done adding her number to your cell again you may well realise it's a bad idea to call.

Even though you may be curling up into a foetal position every time some cheesy pop shit she liked comes on the playlist/radio, let her believe you're handling the breakup in a calm, confident manly way by NOT TALKING TO HER FOR ATLEAST A MONTH. Longer if the relationship lasted more than a year.

"But rabbitweed, I miss her a lot and I really think crying into her phone like a little girl at 3am will win her over"

It won't. If you harbour hopes of being with the girl one day...this will just come back to embarrass you, and will turn her right off. If you don't want to be with her again...well, now she has something to tell her girlfriends and laugh about with her new boyfriend.

Freedom

All that shit you've wanted to do but didn't for her sake? Go ahead on do it. Hit on girls you've found hot, move to where you've always wanted to, start university, join the army, get into street fights, have gay sex, take drugs...whatever you withheld for her sake but really wanted to do, do it, or at least consider it. You're free to do that now and don't need her approval for anything.

If she comes crawling back

First off...don't count on it.

Second off, I think it's imperative that you get over someone and have a proper emotional break before you can get back with them again. If the relationship failed, there are generally reasons...and if it's come to this, they can't be solved really easily.

If you've had time apart, you feel you've both really changed...THEN TAKE IT SLOWLY. Even if you rushed together before, proceed cautiously, make sure it's good for both of you before you get invested in her again. Try not to have any pre-conceptions on how it will be based on before either...start afresh.

__________

I wish you all the best. I know not much will comfort you right now, but believe me, you WILL get over her. There will be another girl for you. She's not the only one...you'll be surprised how all those magical qualities you thought no other girls have were either not that great in the first place, or far more common than you think. My first girlfriend was very short, tiny, skinny as hell. She was very delicate and cute, it was great to be able to pick her up easily...I though all other women looked like freaky giants and ogres after I broke up with her. My next girlfriend was 6 foot tall, and I thought her body was absolutely perfect...she had nice long legs, it was so nice to be at eye level and I didn't have to stoop down when I held her hand...

You will love again. Good luck.

I say get use to it. The bottle is and will always be your friend... until it kills you. But at least, even though it will kill you, it will give you a lot of years of companionship.

Seriously dude, life sucks, but its what we do with it.

Don't ever, ever put your girlfriend infront of your friends.

quote:Originally posted by sleepyface:

Don't ever, ever put your girlfriend infront of your friends.

My friend was a wanker for having her though, and i dont think i can ever forgive him, its not like he was a really close friend though...

She was my friend as well, one of the best ones i have ever had

Anyway totse, thankyou alot for your help, i am being more social, talking to other girls, i know it will take time, and i am prepared to deal with that. Thankyou for your time and support, hopefully i will never get the chance to support you back, but if you need it i am here Thankyou