Last night, my ex called me (around 9:10). When she first called, I was already on the phone. So, I told her to call back in about 20 minutes, because I might be off the phone by then. She has a tendency to voice problems i don't care about, and thus, I don't like to talk to her for long stretches of time. 40 minutes later, she calls back. I was still on the phone, and I asked her to call back after 10. She said she has something important she needs to talk to me about. I end up telling the other person I had to go. The person I was talking to was someone who, whenver I get off the phone with, I tell myself "i hate having ot hang up on her". Needless to say, I was not happy at this point.

At first, she started with her typical rant of "boo fucking hoo. My parents have been yelling at me." I asked why (though I didn't really care). She told me she went out for a walk without saying anything about leaving. She also said something bad happened while she was out. This bit caught my attention. The next bit took a long time to get her to say. She had her music on while she was out. Someone came up behind her and put his hand around her neck. She realized this is the same person she'd had confrontations (non-physical) with before. She relayed her sexual assault by this person to me over the next 30 minutes.

She had me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone what happened. I managed to get her to agree to going to the police (though she said she didn't want her parents involved [which is inevitable]). However, I seriously doubt she would do such.

I made the promise knowing fully that I would break it. I conveyed this information to the one staff member at my school with astounding tenacity against such things. And, implicitly, one that I, personally, trust. Right after our conversation was over, he tracked the school's resident cop to have a chat.

Since I told the staff member, I've been extremely jittery. Like there's a continuous stream of adrenaline being pumped into my blood, on a low level.

SHORT VERSION:

My ex was sexually assaulted last night. i promised i wouldn't tell anyone. After a little convincing, she said she would talk to the cops. As i didn't think she would, I went to a trusted teacher for help.

What I ask of Totse:

Was i correct in telling the staff member about what happened?

I cannot help but feel some guilt for conciously deciding to break her promise AS I MADE IT.

Furthermore, was/is there anything else i could/can do?

edit: by some off chance, if this isn't in the right forum, i'm sorry. move it if you must.



[This message has been edited by RogueEagle91 (edited 03-09-2007).]

Yes you were right, because she does not deserve your respect as a result of being so annoying and she may even be lying, so instead your helping her by passing on her problem to someone else, who will care more and is capable of helping in a more appropriate way (police, councellors etc.).

You chose the proper way of handling it. Im assuming from the way you talk that you realy dont give a shit if your ex is your best friend or not, so in this case you did the right thing. Even is she doesnt appreciate it at the moment.

You did good, kid. I'm proud of you.

You shouldn't have lied to her

Once she told you there was shit all she could do to stop you.

Whether what you did was good or wrong is not for me to decide, as i cant tell the future.

dont lie, but generally you acted okay.

C+

I don't really think you can't try to help in a situation like that. You were totally justified.

The only other thing you could have done was called the cops yourself. Good job.

You acted correctly, though I'm not inclined to take any woman's word at face value. They almost always change some facet of the story, if they arn't lying outright.

All women are liars, my dad taught me that...

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

You did good, kid. I'm proud of you.



QOUTED FOR MUTHAFUCKIN TRUTH!

ok, i've got a bit of an update.

it wasn't just a sexual assault as she had explained earlier. it was full blow rape. the guy that did it to her cut her vagina and surrounding area several times with a dirty knife. she's been to the hospital for a rape kit test, and she's gotten antibiotics. she did do what i didn't expect her to. she's in counceling. she told the person she sees, who in turn called the cops.

1) if she is lying, she's pretty damn good at acting.

2) also if she's lying, the fact that the cops have been contacted means she's going to get "another" wave from the fuzz.

thanks for the support, everyone. the assurance helps alot.

Good call. You made the right decision. This just goes to show you that there IS a reason that youre told to take that course of action.

You did the right thing and at least your ex didn't keep the assault secret like a lot of girls do.