So how does someone overcome shallowness? I've been this way since I was a child. Most people would say this is a very undesirable attitude to have, but I can't help it. I have done an experiment about a year or so ago to get rid of the disgusting feeling I have toward "large" women. I fucked one to see if my perception changed at all. And let me tell you... It got worse.

After that I felt weird and horribly disgusted and couldn't even talk to the girl afterward, and then I kept thinking to myself, "What if I got this fat girl pregnant" It just sickened me to think of this.

Everytime I see some guy with a large/unattractive woman I think to myself, "What in the name of god is wrong with you!" I just cannot comprehend what would attract someone to such a heavy build in a woman.

So obviously there is no way for me to overcome this shallowness that I have. Unless anyone has any other suggestions.

So they say it's what is on the inside that counts in someone... I've tried to understand this and I have. But sexually, it would never work. I absolutely without a doubt have to be with someone I am attracted to on a physical level. And I can never be with a "big girl" or someone that I consider unattractive.

So most people will consider my attitude shallow, ignorant, or whatever else. But is there truly something wrong with me? I just consider it honest and true to how I feel about my sexual interest.

Anyone?

Stop excusing yourself, your looking for certain attributes in your partner, yours includes beauty, you don't have to overcome anything that gets labeled as shallowness.

ps: If that however, is the only attribute you're looking for, you got a problem.

I think that it's a shame that people like you are totally focused on appearance. It sickens me.

From the sounds of it, if you met some chick over the phone/msn and totally hit it off, you would not even talk to her if you saw her and she wasn't perfect. Correct? or no?

quote:Originally posted by pepper23:

From the sounds of it, if you met some chick over the phone/msn and totally hit it off, you would not even talk to her if you saw her and she wasn't perfect. Correct? or no?Correct, I would not start a relationship with someone I am not attracted to physically.

So you're saying you're not physically attracted to fat women? That's not shallow, that's preference. If it's so severe though, that anyone beyond anorexic thin disgusts you, you have a problem. Physical attraction is absolutely necessary in a relationship. It certainly isn't the only and most important factor, but it has to be there. There's nothing shallow about saying "I'm not attracted to you because you're overweight" or "I'm not attracted to you because your hair is green."

Shallow is more like "your nose is a little bit crooked, you're not good enough for me" or "your teeth aren't bleach-white, fuck off."

We're not supposed to be attracted to everyone we see.

[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 03-08-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Aseren:

Stop excusing yourself, your looking for certain attributes in your partner, yours includes beauty, you don't have to overcome anything that gets labeled as shallowness.

I think that is the best reply I can get. I just wish other people would understand that.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

So you're saying you're not physically attracted to fat women? That's not shallow, that's preference. If it's so severe though, that anyone beyond anorexic thin disgusts you, you have a problem. Physical attraction is absolutely necessary in a relationship. It certainly isn't the only and most important factor, but it has to be there. There's nothing shallow about saying "I'm not attracted to you because you're overweight" or "I'm not attracted to you because your hair is green."

Shallow is more like "your nose is a little bit crooked, you're not good enough for me" or "your teeth aren't bleach-white, fuck off."

We're not supposed to be attracted to everyone we see.

Also a great reply. Thanks.

Put it this way - evolution is based on survival of the fittest and we as animals are out to find good genes and fertile partners. Big fat women are probably not the ideal creatures to have babies so your natural instinct is saying stay clear. Some people choose to overcome their natural instinct, others dont. U decide!

Who gives a fuck?

if you like someone as a friend but dont want to fuck them, then dont try and fuck them.

simple as

you dont have to try and make sexual relationships meaningful

shit, you can lie all you want about love, and feelings, and about how much you like someone, just to get fucker, hell, a lie is alot funner than the truth,

dont fuck ugly people

dont talk to boring people

simpel rulez

but but dont lower your standards ull become this guy hell screw any chick with a pulse i mean getting sum is gud but he claims hes not shallow at all but one must draw the line ALL UGLY CHICKS LUV HIM

http://Fr0zenInfern0.bebo.com

P.S he was cool b4 he went all emo

quote:Originally posted by spindl3--chopper:

but but dont lower your standards ull become this guy hell screw any chick with a pulse i mean getting sum is gud but he claims hes not shallow at all but one must draw the line ALL UGLY CHICKS LUV HIM

http://Fr0zenInfern0.bebo.com

P.S he was cool b4 he went all emo

Thanks, I really needed to see that video of two dudes making out.

On Topic: I am also very shallow, but it goes beyond just their looks. I'm only interested in really hot girls, and ones that aren't sluts. I define sluts as most of the girls in my school. So I'm left with very few girls to "choose" from, most of which are taken.



Shallow + Desperate is a bad combo.

quote:Originally posted by You Will Die:

Originally posted by pepper23:

From the sounds of it, if you met some chick over the phone/msn and totally hit it off, you would not even talk to her if you saw her and she wasn't perfect. Correct? or no?Correct, I would not start a relationship with someone I am not attracted to physically.





That is not shallow in the least. NO ONE can expect to have a physical relationship if the physical attraction isn't there.

-F☺rd

I define shallowness as an inability to enhance your feelings of attraction to an extremely high degree relative to when you first met them and before you knew of their great and compatible personality.

To explain, let me say that I have only been extremely attracted to two girls in my life. One was, objectively speaking, somewhat hot and the other one was basically average.

However, once I got to know them and came to admire their personalities and personal traits I becamse extremely attracted to them, to the point where I considered them hotter than any girl, even those who were objectively speaking physically more attractive than them.

However, for me, it isn't exactly necessary that physical attraction be there, there just can't be physical unattraction. You know what I mean? For example, the second girl I had "meh" feelings for her body. I didn't think she was hot, nor did I think she was ugly. Over time I becamse completely head-over-heels infatuated with her because she was such a great person.

quote:Originally posted by You Will Die:



So most people will consider my attitude shallow, ignorant, or whatever else. But is there truly something wrong with me? I just consider it honest and true to how I feel about my sexual interest.

Anyone?



If anything i would say you were ignorant of other people's emotions - you fail to see why a person can love someone despite their flaws.

It may be the case you are honest about the people around you, but i don't think you're being entirely honest with yourself.

You should be aware that you are no more perfect than a fat chick or disabled old man - perfection simply doesn't exist.

There will come a time when you find out what it is you're looking for in women, and you'll realise you don't give two shits about physical appearance so long as they match your needs.

This is different from just having a casual interest for someone because they're pretty/fun/cool, you like them because of the way they are, not because of what they make themselves out to be.

Naturally, if the person is physically unattractive you won't want to have sex with them, but that doesn't mean you can't hold affection towards them.

The only thing wrong with you is that you refuse to accept people for who they are - you let their physical appearance cloud your judgement of them, either because you're so mentally charged to hate that aspect of their appearance or because you are, as people say, shallow.

quote:Originally posted by One_way_mirror:

You should be aware that you are no more perfect than a fat chick or disabled old man - perfection simply doesn't exist.

That simply isn't true. People that take care of themselves and maintain a healthy body have every right to be proud of that, and in almost all cases a fat person in a First World nation is that way because of their own lack of willpower and initiative, not something they have no control over like a glandular problem.

Everyone in my immediate family is overweight, so I eat a good diet and exercise regularly. No way in fuck will I accept someone who isn't willing to do that as my equal, and thus chooses to be a lardass.

quote:Originally posted by One_way_mirror:

...you let their physical appearance cloud your judgement of them, either because you're so mentally charged to hate that aspect of their appearance or because you are, as people say, shallow.

I don't judge people for being ugly in the face or short or tall. That would be shallow. I judge people for not changing something they have control over, such as their weight. Lardasses are weak-willed, otherwise they wouldn't be lardasses. So fuck 'em. I've never met a truly fat girl I was psychologically attracted to, simply because no one that takes that little care of themselves would be compatible with me.

^^^ I have found this as well. Most of the overweight (and I'm taking significantly overweight, not like 5-10 pounds) people around my age group that I have encountered have not taken care of themselves in other aspects of their lives as well. Poor eating habits, poor cleanliness, disorganization, low motivation, etc. Not ALL overweight people, but honestly, a fair amount.

On an unrelated note, I was watching a George Carlin dvd last weekend, and he went into a bit about fat people, and it showed the audience, and, lo and behold, most of them weren't exactly thin. And they were laughing. It entertained me.

Can you yourself become less shallow? Probably not...

Can you convince other people that you are no longer shallow? Hell yeah!

Agreed, you sure cannot phiscally have sex with someone that you arent into, thats just wrong. Ewwww fatt and ugly biches should go 2 hell