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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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  #1   Add Mutant Funk Drink to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 06:59
Mutant Funk Drink Mutant Funk Drink is offline
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Does the bible explain this at all? What was god up to before he decided to create the universe and earth? Perhaps he made other universes? Or maybe he just wanked the whole time?
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  #2   Add Lamabot to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 08:05
Lamabot Lamabot is offline
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Florida
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Just chilled there for a bit.

A Christian answer i'd expect to hear (Yes I know, I'm very biased and just a general asshole)

Quote:
quote:Originally posted by my imaginary friend:

The beginning of time is marked by the creation of the earth/universe and thus there was no time before that. Since god is god he exists apart from time, laws of physics, logic and no one can even comprehend how awesome he is, so he could have easily existed before time started.


[This message has been edited by Lamabot (edited 01-07-2007).]
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  #3   Add Mantikore to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 09:15
Mantikore Mantikore is offline
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maybe because he reckons we humans are too simple to comprehend such complex issues and so thought it would be better if we didnt know, just like everything else we dont know, but gave us the opportunity to find out ourselves
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  #4   Add ---Beany--- to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 09:49
---Beany--- ---Beany--- is offline
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I don't think there was a before. I guess the universe stretches for infinity in either direction.
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  #5   Add Mutant Funk Drink to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 21:20
Mutant Funk Drink Mutant Funk Drink is offline
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Shining Time Station
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Lamabot:

Just chilled there for a bit.

A Christian answer i'd expect to hear (Yes I know, I'm very biased and just a general asshole)

Quote:
Originally posted by my imaginary friend:

The beginning of time is marked by the creation of the earth/universe and thus there was no time before that. Since god is god he exists apart from time, laws of physics, logic and no one can even comprehend how awesome he is, so he could have easily existed before time started.


Okay, but then what was he up to before "time"? Sounds like he was just sitting around doing nothing.
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  #6   Add Mutant Funk Drink to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 21:21
Mutant Funk Drink Mutant Funk Drink is offline
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Shining Time Station
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by ---Beany---:

I don't think there was a before. I guess the universe stretches for infinity in either direction.
If the universe stretches infinitely in either direction, then wouldn't there have to be a before?
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  #7   Add socratic to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 22:34
socratic socratic is offline
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My understanding of Christian theology would lead me to suggest that either a: Nothing, or b: Created the Angels, Heaven and expelled the Fallen (the fathers of the Nephelim not included).
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  #8   Add double entendre to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-07, 22:36
double entendre double entendre is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Mutant Funk Drink:

Okay, but then what was he up to before "time"? Sounds like he was just sitting around doing nothing.
You are just begging the question here. The point seemed to me that humans were designed without the ability to fully comprehend the beginning of time.
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  #9   Add CBUM to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-08, 02:47
CBUM CBUM is offline
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Sheppard and Leslie
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I bet he fapped alot. According to the bible there was no before. It just says in the beginning there was nothing and then god said let there be light and there was light. Basically, the beginning of the universe was the beginning of everything so before that was just oblivion. I think that might be right.

edit By "I think that might be right" I dont mean I agree with that I just mean that I think thats what the bible says.)

[This message has been edited by CBUM (edited 01-08-2007).]
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  #10   Add CNKOMMANDO to your ignore list  
Old 2007-01-08, 03:24
CNKOMMANDO CNKOMMANDO is offline
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i have been wondering of this since i was around 12. maybe like someone up there said "he was fapping the whole time."

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 #11 
Old 2007-01-08, 03:54
specus_meretricis specus_meretricis is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

He was getting along better with Mrs.God until you damn kids showed up!
 #12 
Old 2007-01-08, 03:59
Merlinman2005 Merlinman2005 is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Since Time began with the Universe, there was no "before."

My answer is that (the nonexistant) God's consciousness began with the universe and time, and will end with them, as well.

Whatever natural (?) phenomena caused the universe to be created might be called God, but I feel it wasn't a conscious decision on anyone's/anything's part.. that it just happened, that it HAD to happen, and when it did, this "being" with the powers of "God" was "born." Or could have been born.
 #13 
Old 2007-01-08, 05:54
MasterPython MasterPython is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

I was going to post about fapping and how that is how the universe came into existance.

I don't think any creation stories really say what God was doing before he/she created the universe. Or at least not more than a few days before.
 #14 
Old 2007-01-08, 06:31
Vargv Vargv is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Why do you think they called it the "Big Bang"?

What else would happen after you literally masturbate for eternity?
 #15 
Old 2007-01-08, 15:10
d1rty piss stool d1rty piss stool is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by Vargv:

Why do you think they called it the "Big Bang"?

What else would happen after you literally masturbate for eternity?

Your pen00r would fall off.
 #16 
Old 2007-01-08, 15:23
Antagonist Antagonist is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

He took bath, I guess.
 #17 
Old 2007-01-08, 18:59
Source Source is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

How do you know there was a beginning? Maybe the universe has always just been. Maybe the universe itself exists outside of time. Just because we age and die, doesn't necessarily mean that the universe does.
 #18 
Old 2007-01-08, 21:09
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Wasilla, Alaska
Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Eternity means--well, eternity. Time is an illusion--what is now and will be, has ever been.

Or as some hymn so neatly puts it--"as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end."
 #19 
Old 2007-01-09, 00:26
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Reading Pa USA
Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

he killed the gods of the polytheists. oh and jacked off alot.
 #20 
Old 2007-01-09, 01:34
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Sitting on a dildo chair
Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Probably a large battle between all other gods, for the title of "allmighty".

Seriously though, "In the beginning" in the bible refers to beginning of universe, matter, or in other words "our world". Other than that everything is speculation as the bible mentions nothing of this.
 #21 
Old 2007-01-09, 01:45
Q777 Q777 is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Since God's existence is endless he waited an infinitely long time to make the universe. Thats a long amount of time.
 #22 
Old 2007-01-09, 02:13
Severedset Severedset is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

i think god made the universe and watched it grow
 #23 
Old 2007-01-09, 03:39
Lamabot Lamabot is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by Mutant Funk Drink:

Okay, but then what was he up to before "time"? Sounds like he was just sitting around doing nothing.

Who are we, mortals, to even attempt to comprehend what a supreme deity like god would do when time itself doesn't even exist? I mean, that isn't even possible!
 #24 
Old 2007-01-09, 03:41
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

God doesn't "do", he just IS.
 #25 
Old 2007-01-09, 03:44
Merlinman2005 Merlinman2005 is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

God doesn't "do", he just IS.

heh, Party Monster
 #26 
Old 2007-01-09, 03:44
Lamabot Lamabot is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

God doesn't "do", he just IS.

So, what's your point? God totally exists, but hasn't done anything since he started existing? Like the whole creating the universe thing? He just watched it spawn according to the big bang
 #27 
Old 2007-01-09, 11:30
StealthyRacoons StealthyRacoons is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Nothing, from what i remember from catholic school he got bored and created life.
 #28 
Old 2007-01-09, 11:41
Lamabot Lamabot is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by StealthyRacoons:

Nothing, from what i remember from catholic school he got bored and created life.

If he became bored that means he was entertained before he became bored. Because no one else existed, god was entertaining himself. Well I know how I would entertain myself...Suddenly the fapping god before creation becomes a valid hypothesis. Shock and awe.
 #29 
Old 2007-01-09, 23:03
turkeysandwich turkeysandwich is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Good question. He probably just played some b-ball or shit like that. I mean, God's probably got a nasty hook shot.
 #30 
Old 2007-01-12, 05:20
nicky69 nicky69 is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

He could have been shooting dice. Maybe even working out.
 #31 
Old 2007-01-12, 05:48
WorBlux WorBlux is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

making alternative universes.
 #32 
Old 2007-01-12, 09:24
Moderator
 
mah compound
Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Maybe he was planning all this shit?

And another question:

WHAT did god fap TO?

If there was nothing else, what did he have to watch while beating it? No matter means no porn.
 #33 
Old 2007-01-12, 09:26
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'straya!
Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

God faps to earths misfortunes.
 #34 
Old 2007-01-12, 09:51
psuedogunslinger psuedogunslinger is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

God is chilling with a fatty and a 40 ounce He fucks gaia and is all like "damn nigga, I think I jizzed the universe in your crack" Then he smacks dat bitch "shit, woman, you KNOWS you gots to get me a sammich"
 #35 
Old 2007-01-12, 11:33
Lamabot Lamabot is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Spam thread, lock it
 #36 
Old 2007-01-14, 04:19
perfect chaos perfect chaos is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

constipation
 #37 
Old 2007-01-15, 08:49
ate ate is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

What if God.

In the sense of the guy beating his meat into the space, creating solar systems, doesn't exist...unless required to.

And if he is a creator.

Then he doesn't exist unless the universe exists.

No universe no god.

The moment a universe appears, a creator appears, in a singular moment. Like a big...bang or something.
 #38 
Old 2007-01-16, 18:10
the dillinger escape plan the dillinger escape plan is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

Nothing. He hadn't been invented yet.
 #39 
Old 2007-01-16, 18:21
Merlinman2005 Merlinman2005 is offline
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Default Re: What did god do before he created the universe?

quote:Originally posted by ate:

What if God.

In the sense of the guy beating his meat into the space, creating solar systems, doesn't exist...unless required to.

And if he is a creator.

Then he doesn't exist unless the universe exists.

No universe no god.

The moment a universe appears, a creator appears, in a singular moment. Like a big...bang or something.



Or (the way I like to think about it)

What if

This god was not a "Creator"

Remove that label from him

and he becomes just another by-product of the Creation of the universe.

Sure, He might be the Ruler. The Watcher. The Collective.

Just not the Creator.
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