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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1

2006-11-27, 02:32
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Regular
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Hey guise hows it going?
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Ok, some basic detail first, I am a member of the trinity united methodist church.
Question 1:Will I go to hell if I masturbate?
Question 2:Will I go to hell if I listen to unholy music, e.g. Marilyn Manson
I forgot to ask my pastor these questions earlier today.
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# 2

2006-11-27, 02:33
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Question 1. Do you want to believe in a god who punishes people for something as harmless as masturbation with something as cruel as eternal damnation?
[This message has been edited by Raw_Power (edited 11-27-2006).]
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# 3

2006-11-27, 02:39
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Regular
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Hey guise hows it going?
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:
Question 1. Do you want to believe in a god who punishes people for something as harmless as masturbation with something as cruel as eternal damnation?
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No, I believe he does punish people for masturbation, but not a mortal sin.
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# 4

2006-11-27, 04:27
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Regular
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Columbus OH
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
No, I believe he does punish people for masturbation
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That's too bad.
Edit: WAIT!! If you could be punished for something as small as masterbation, how 'bout the user name I_am_god????? Isn't that an insult to your dear omnipotent creator???
[This message has been edited by firekitty751 (edited 11-27-2006).]
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# 5

2006-11-27, 06:37
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
Ok, some basic detail first, I am a member of the trinity united methodist church.
Question 1:Will I go to hell if I masturbate?
Question 2:Will I go to hell if I listen to unholy music, e.g. Marilyn Manson
I forgot to ask my pastor these questions earlier today.
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Just ask yourself this question: is what you are doing gloifying God? I urge you to apply this question to all facets of your life, as it can help keep you on the straight and narrow path of righteousness. If your answer is anything other than "yes", then you can look forward to an eternity being sodomized by demons.
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# 6

2006-11-27, 06:41
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Regular
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Behind the boat house
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:
Question 1. Do you want to believe in a god who punishes people for something as harmless as masturbation with something as cruel as eternal damnation?
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You don't just choose what you believe. You believe things because you can't help it.
Cheers,
Lost
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# 7

2006-11-27, 06:42
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Regular
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Behind the boat house
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
No, I believe he does punish people for masturbation, but not a mortal sin.
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Then you answered your own question. No, you wont go to hell.
And you wont go to hell for listening to Marilyn Manson, either. Though, some may say you should.
Cheers,
Lost
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# 8

2006-11-27, 07:02
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Peanutbutter Soup:
Just ask yourself this question: is what you are doing gloifying God? I urge you to apply this question to all facets of your life, as it can help keep you on the straight and narrow path of righteousness. If your answer is anything other than "yes", then you can look forward to an eternity being sodomized by demons.
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I suggest an even better question.
Why should you glorify God?
I am not saying that you shouldn't but rather make that decision yourself.
Do not let anyone tell you what to believe.
IMO, if a God would sent someone to hell for something as natural as masterbation, then that God is not worth my belief.
If God is so loving, then why send someone to Hell?
And, Free Will is not the answer.
Free Will does not exist if you believe in an all knowing God. It's a contradiction in itself.
Rant over.
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# 9

2006-11-27, 09:53
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
Ok, some basic detail first, I am a member of the trinity united methodist church.
Question 1:Will I go to hell if I masturbate?
Question 2:Will I go to hell if I listen to unholy music, e.g. Marilyn Manson
I forgot to ask my pastor these questions earlier today.
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1. If people go to Hell for masturbation, then Heaven is one lonely place.
2. Methodists use the Bible as their authority still, right? If so, no, listening to shock rock, hip hop, or other various 'devil musics' will not warrant a ticket to Hell. However, following the advice of shock rockers and other 'devil musics' would likely put you in prison.
I'm not an expert on religion, though...but if you consider yourself Christian, go by Christ's teachings as your measure, not by a pastor.
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# 10

2006-11-27, 11:31
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:
I'm not an expert on religion, though...but if you consider yourself Christian, go by Christ's teachings as your measure, not by a pastor.
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Probaly one of the greatest bits of advice to a Christian I've ever seen.
But on topic, god's a pretty forgiving kind of guy, and in any case it's not masturbation that is a sin , it's sexual immorality.
To conclude that masturbation is a sin it must have negative side effects, someone must be hurt by it. Now ignoring god killing kittens every time you touch yourself I think it's safe to say that only enjoyment and happiness comes from it.
There's somewhere in the bible that says that you can restrict yourself from certain things if you feel that your faith requires it, but you needn't restrict yourself if you feel that it does not impugn on your faith.
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#11
 2006-11-27, 21:49
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I_am_god 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by LostCause:
Then you answered your own question. No, you wont go to hell.
And you wont go to hell for listening to Marilyn Manson, either. Though, some may say you should.
Cheers,
Lost
k thanks makes me feel slightly better
and all of you that post under the line GTFO OF MY THREAD!!!
_____________________________________________
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#12
 2006-11-27, 21:57
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Raw_Power 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
No, I believe he does punish people for masturbation, but not a mortal sin.
Just because that's what you believe doesn't mean it's the truth. How are you so sure? Instead of asking your pastor or any of us, read the Bible and see if it says anywhere that it's a sin.
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#13
 2006-11-27, 22:00
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:
Just because that's what you believe doesn't mean it's the truth. How are you so sure? Instead of asking your pastor or any of us, read the Bible and see if it says anywhere that it's a sin.
Seriously, use your own brain. You obviously don't really understand God, the bible, Christianity, faith, or anything regarding this at all. Think for yourself.
Knowing God is the most beautiful thing you can ever do; knowing only a forgery is one of the greatest tragedies.
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#14
 2006-11-27, 22:11
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I_am_god 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:
Seriously, use your own brain. You obviously don't really understand God, the bible, Christianity, faith, or anything regarding this at all. Think for yourself.
Knowing God is the most beautiful thing you can ever do; knowing only a forgery is one of the greatest tragedies.
I just wanted to know if Q1&Q2 are mortal sins according to my religion.
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#15
 2006-11-27, 22:19
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Raw_Power 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:
Seriously, use your own brain. You obviously don't really understand God, the bible, Christianity, faith, or anything regarding this at all. Think for yourself.
Knowing God is the most beautiful thing you can ever do; knowing only a forgery is one of the greatest tragedies.
I do use my own brain. And that's why I'm not religious. I have my own views of what God is, if there is a God.
But I care about the truth, you see. And although I am not a Christian, the OP is, and so it is obvious that he believes the Christian God to be objectively true. And, if he believes the Bible to be the word of God, it's only natural then for him to consort the Bible instead of taking other people's words about it, including his own if he is not sure whether God condemns masturbation or not.
[This message has been edited by Raw_Power (edited 11-27-2006).]
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#16
 2006-11-27, 23:47
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nametag 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
Q1. Theres a verse that some people claim is related to masturbation, while others claim its in reference to pulling out of a woman to prevent her from having children, the Story is pertaining too is a man named Onan, and the word onanistic comes from his name. Anyway, someone (it was his brother if i recall properly) died, so he took his wife. it then says he was condemned by god for spilling his seed on the ground to stop a child from being born, at least i think thats how it goes. I'll get the verse for you later.
As for question 2. I believe it is the Christian belief that the mind body and soul are all vessels of god, therefore by polluting with music that is overtly blasphemous you are committing a sin, but i doubt it is a mortal one, or anything you'd go to hell for, Aren't Methodists one of the laxer branches of protestantism?
[This message has been edited by nametag (edited 11-27-2006).]
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#17
 2006-11-28, 00:00
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
Masturbation = prayer.
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#18
 2006-11-28, 07:48
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chickenpoop 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
No. firstly because if you are truly sorry and repent for it you will be forgiven.
secondly, because hell is not real and religion is just a crock of shit.
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#19
 2006-11-28, 09:24
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:
I do use my own brain. And that's why I'm not religious. I have my own views of what God is, if there is a God.
But I care about the truth, you see. And although I am not a Christian, the OP is, and so it is obvious that he believes the Christian God to be objectively true. And, if he believes the Bible to be the word of God, it's only natural then for him to consort the Bible instead of taking other people's words about it, including his own if he is not sure whether God condemns masturbation or not.
I wasn't talking about you, man, I was agreeing with you and directing it at the OP. Sorry for the confusion.
[This message has been edited by Rizzo in a box (edited 11-28-2006).]
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#20
 2006-11-28, 13:23
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
Apparently god made us in his image, so he must have masturbated too
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#21
 2006-11-28, 16:58
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Aft3r ImaGe 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Peanutbutter Soup:
If your answer is anything other than "yes", then you can look forward to an eternity being sodomized by demons.
This actually made me laugh.
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#22
 2006-11-28, 23:22
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Regular
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Behind the boat house
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by I_am_god:
I just wanted to know if Q1&Q2 are mortal sins according to my religion.
How is it your religion if you don't even know enough about it to know what a mortal sin is?
Blind faith anybody?
Cheers,
Lost
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#23
 2006-11-29, 04:34
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Elephantitis Man 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by Viraljimmy:
Masturbation = prayer.
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#24
 2006-12-03, 08:16
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chubbyman25 
Regular
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Re: Some questions on my relgion
quote:Originally posted by gmail:
Apparently god made us in his image, so he must have masturbated too
And apparently he killed millions of people, and committed suicide, and was gay, and everything else too. God is perfect, humans are not.
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