I want to start my own religion

Hey guys, Ive got a few ideas for a new religion, and I want to see if you think it will ever catch on.

Name: The Church of Robot Jesus

Leader: Me and my posse

Theory:

-Jesus used to be cool. He was cool in a relative kinda way in the first few A.D centuries, when walking turning water into wine and walking across water were such considerable feats that being a 30 year old virgin it didn't detract from his coolness. However, He died for our sins. That, I believe was his most stupid decision because we immediately invented new sins for which we hadn’t been forgiven (like internet porn) and voila, we are once again filthy sinners and in dire need for another Jesus.

Today, Jesus just seems mediocre. Modern science attributes his ability to make wine to a bad yeast infection and anyone can walk across the Sea of Galilee because it is drying up. Jesus is made to seem dull in the light of contemporary superheroes such as Superman and other member of the Justice League due to his lack of superpowers, refusal to don spandex and lackluster comeback after the Romans nailed him, and despite the insistence of his Ministy on Earth, it seems highly unlikely that He will be back anytime soon. I think we are all sick of being told Jesus is coming without being told when.

Thus I present Robot Jesus, the all-forgiving, Satan-crushing, nail resistance cyber-kinetic Savior. He should sport a pretty mean costume and divine sex appeal, which should solve the problem the previous Jesus had with the ladies. Due out as soon as they invent AI, Robot Jesus will be armed with various ninja superpowers, gadgets and weapons to combat sin, evil and vampires. Doctrine is interpreted at your own discretion.

And of course, He dances The Robot like no other.



P.S Robots rule

[This message has been edited by streakingsnake (edited 05-26-2006).]

Start your own religion? If you're making your own religion make it atractive as in porn and booze.

if we can legaly grow and smoke weed im in

You just had to mension vampires, didn't you.You could of left them out of this, but nooo you just had to.. leave them alone!!

The Aztec Indians or whatever use peyote for religious purpose. Then our religion should need it as well...

You know the funny thing having a religion where rituals of smoking or drinking are common, would pretty much go hand in hand with living in Australia anyway...

It can be said, the best religion would be the same as your lifestyle. Then the only person to worship would be yourself..And then you are the only person to blame for your F...ups and not feel self hatred and guilt. The only sin would be not being true to yourself.

we just need 10 000 people or somthing and then we can start our own legal religeon......or somthing like that

Call it a Church, but register is as a business. Like Scientology.

[JesuitArtiste]

I've seriously thought about forming a religion ... But then I realize that the sixties is over and no-one believes in peace anymore ... damn non-hippies ... damn them to hell!

WQhile stoned I recieved divine inspiration from the Fisherman... It's a glass globe thing and inside theres water and then something that isn't water and so sits at the bottom like water in water, and on this non-water is the Fisherman. And no matter how much you shake it ,he stays upright. The Fisherman is never tipped up ,he never complains about the rough seas ,the Fisherman waits ... He waits until it's calm ...

A couple of hours were taken up as I recieved inspiration from the Fisherman ,who I also termed the Rower... I damn near started writing a holy book ... I didn't ...

And he wasn't a god ,the Rower was a state of mind:

You can't escape the globe ,and the seas will be as stormy as outside forces dictate ... But if you master your small universe in the globe ,If you accpet that you at mercy from outside forces you are safe. Gods may shake you around ,but once you master yourself. When you ,like the rower, accept that there are some things beyond your control you can reach tranquility. And then ... You can become God of the universe in your mind ....

Considerations of the Rower go with you.

quote:Originally posted by streakingsnake:

Hey guys, Ive got a few ideas for a new religion, and I want to see if you think it will ever catch on.

Name: The Church of Robot Jesus

Leader: Me and my posse

Theory:

-Jesus used to be cool. He was cool in a relative kinda way in the first few A.D centuries, when walking turning water into wine and walking across water were such considerable feats that being a 30 year old virgin it didn't detract from his coolness. However, He died for our sins. That, I believe was his most stupid decision because we immediately invented new sins for which we hadn’t been forgiven (like internet porn) and voila, we are once again filthy sinners and in dire need for another Jesus.

Today, Jesus just seems mediocre. Modern science attributes his ability to make wine to a bad yeast infection and anyone can walk across the Sea of Galilee because it is drying up. Jesus is made to seem dull in the light of contemporary superheroes such as Superman and other member of the Justice League due to his lack of superpowers, refusal to don spandex and lackluster comeback after the Romans nailed him, and despite the insistence of his Ministy on Earth, it seems highly unlikely that He will be back anytime soon. I think we are all sick of being told Jesus is coming without being told when.

Thus I present Robot Jesus, the all-forgiving, Satan-crushing, nail resistance cyber-kinetic Savior. He should sport a pretty mean costume and divine sex appeal, which should solve the problem the previous Jesus had with the ladies. Due out as soon as they invent AI, Robot Jesus will be armed with various ninja superpowers, gadgets and weapons to combat sin, evil and vampires. Doctrine is interpreted at your own discretion.

And of course, He dances The Robot like no other.



P.S Robots rule

I approve. Can I join?

quote:Originally posted by streakingsnake:

Hey guys, Ive got a few ideas for a new religion, and I want to see if you think it will ever catch on.

Name: The Church of Robot Jesus

Leader: Me and my posse

Theory:

-Jesus used to be cool. He was cool in a relative kinda way in the first few A.D centuries, when walking turning water into wine and walking across water were such considerable feats that being a 30 year old virgin it didn't detract from his coolness. However, He died for our sins. That, I believe was his most stupid decision because we immediately invented new sins for which we hadn’t been forgiven (like internet porn) and voila, we are once again filthy sinners and in dire need for another Jesus.

Today, Jesus just seems mediocre. Modern science attributes his ability to make wine to a bad yeast infection and anyone can walk across the Sea of Galilee because it is drying up. Jesus is made to seem dull in the light of contemporary superheroes such as Superman and other member of the Justice League due to his lack of superpowers, refusal to don spandex and lackluster comeback after the Romans nailed him, and despite the insistence of his Ministy on Earth, it seems highly unlikely that He will be back anytime soon. I think we are all sick of being told Jesus is coming without being told when.

Thus I present Robot Jesus, the all-forgiving, Satan-crushing, nail resistance cyber-kinetic Savior. He should sport a pretty mean costume and divine sex appeal, which should solve the problem the previous Jesus had with the ladies. Due out as soon as they invent AI, Robot Jesus will be armed with various ninja superpowers, gadgets and weapons to combat sin, evil and vampires. Doctrine is interpreted at your own discretion.

And of course, He dances The Robot like no other.



P.S Robots rule

Its possible, more unbelievable religions and such have been thought up and believed by millions. id join but im totally against organized religion. i like it though.

quote:Originally posted by JesuitArtiste:

I've seriously thought about forming a religion ... But then I realize that the sixties is over and no-one believes in peace anymore ... damn non-hippies ... damn them to hell!

WQhile stoned I recieved divine inspiration from the Fisherman... It's a glass globe thing and inside theres water and then something that isn't water and so sits at the bottom like water in water, and on this non-water is the Fisherman. And no matter how much you shake it ,he stays upright. The Fisherman is never tipped up ,he never complains about the rough seas ,the Fisherman waits ... He waits until it's calm ...

A couple of hours were taken up as I recieved inspiration from the Fisherman ,who I also termed the Rower... I damn near started writing a holy book ... I didn't ...

And he wasn't a god ,the Rower was a state of mind:

You can't escape the globe ,and the seas will be as stormy as outside forces dictate ... But if you master your small universe in the globe ,If you accpet that you at mercy from outside forces you are safe. Gods may shake you around ,but once you master yourself. When you ,like the rower, accept that there are some things beyond your control you can reach tranquility. And then ... You can become God of the universe in your mind ....

Considerations of the Rower go with you.

... thats pretty badass. im starting right now

The Universal Life Church( www.ulc.org ) used to have good instruction for starting you own church in the states. I remember that you need a minister a treasurer and some other person.

[jb_mcbean]

quote:Originally posted by streakingsnake:

Hey guys, Ive got a few ideas for a new religion, and I want to see if you think it will ever catch on.

Name: The Church of Robot Jesus

Leader: Me and my posse

Theory:

-Jesus used to be cool. He was cool in a relative kinda way in the first few A.D centuries, when walking turning water into wine and walking across water were such considerable feats that being a 30 year old virgin it didn't detract from his coolness. However, He died for our sins. That, I believe was his most stupid decision because we immediately invented new sins for which we hadn’t been forgiven (like internet porn) and voila, we are once again filthy sinners and in dire need for another Jesus.

Today, Jesus just seems mediocre. Modern science attributes his ability to make wine to a bad yeast infection and anyone can walk across the Sea of Galilee because it is drying up. Jesus is made to seem dull in the light of contemporary superheroes such as Superman and other member of the Justice League due to his lack of superpowers, refusal to don spandex and lackluster comeback after the Romans nailed him, and despite the insistence of his Ministy on Earth, it seems highly unlikely that He will be back anytime soon. I think we are all sick of being told Jesus is coming without being told when.

Thus I present Robot Jesus, the all-forgiving, Satan-crushing, nail resistance cyber-kinetic Savior. He should sport a pretty mean costume and divine sex appeal, which should solve the problem the previous Jesus had with the ladies. Due out as soon as they invent AI, Robot Jesus will be armed with various ninja superpowers, gadgets and weapons to combat sin, evil and vampires. Doctrine is interpreted at your own discretion.

And of course, He dances The Robot like no other.



P.S Robots rule

I don't think you should start a religion, I think you should join Prizism. At least this one hasn't been done in a gay enough way to invoke Jihad though.

[Graemy]

Prizism is cool, i haven't joined it but i help out the cause

[boozehound420]

i wanna be able to carry a shotgun on my back with a maximum of 50 rounds in my pockets, just like that arab religion lets them carry a fucken 10 inch dagger on them at all times