Here's mine:

Ezekeil 4:12

And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.



Meaning:

God tells Ezekiel to eat barley cakes that are made with "the dung that cometh out of man."

PSA 145:9 "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

JER 13:14 "And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them."

"And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight." - are you sure this doesn't mean to use the dung as fuel or summit?

I don't personally have a favorite quote.

Ecclesiastes 10:7

"I have seen servants upon horses, and princes walking as servants upon the earth."

Ps.92:12: "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."

Isa.57:1: "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart."

---

"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." (Ex. 33:11)

"And he said, Thou canst not see my face; for there shall no man see me and live." (Ex. 33:20)

John 8:58 =

Jesus says -

'I tell you most solemnly,

before Abraham ever was,

I Am'.

Jesus said some pretty cool introspective shit! Truly Buddha incarnate...

my favorite is probably just the very beginning

"In the beginning Elohim created the heaven and the earth." - Genesis 1:1



it's so interesting because "Elohim", translated wtihout justification means in Hebrew "those who came from the sky" and also the word is plural. it changes everything that follows. so that's my favorite

[This message has been edited by everything and nothing (edited 09-20-2005).]

really? god told ezekeil to eat shit?

quote:Originally posted by Choscura:

really? god told ezekeil to eat shit?

... YES!

My favorite verses also come from the book of Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 16:17

Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them,

Translation: Thou hast made dildos out of gold and/or silver and commited whoredoms with them.

... thats right, they used dildos in bible times!!!



Ezekiel 23:19-20

Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Translation: She liked the Egyptian men because their penises were as big as a donkeys and they ejaculated like horses.

Jeremiah 25:27 Therefore thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Drink ye, and be drunken, and spue, and fall, and rise no more, because of the sword which I will send among you.

Meaning: God tells people to get drunk, throw up, and fall down

I duon't know the chapter and verse, but:

"Jesus wept".

I always thought there should be one that said: "Jesus shat".

"then. paul tied hsi ass to the tree and walked 3 miles."

2 Kings Chapter 2

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

Oh give me a break, we can't make fun of baldness?



Matthew 9:11-13



11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

That part I actually liked when i was a real christian, in fact I still dig the sayings of Jesus.

I love this thread:



SAMSON'S RIDDLE:

Judges 14:14

'Out of the eater came what is eaten,

and out of the strong came what is sweet'.

'What is sweeter than honey, and stronger than a lion?'



etc.



surely someone knows this one?

Revelation 1:13-18

quote:

And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:

I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Here are quite a few of my favorite verses:

"Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God: defend me from them that rise up against me"

Psalms 59:1

"And I looked and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death and Hell followed with. Power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth."

Revelations 6:8

"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"

Romans 7:15-24

"He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have desruction."

Proverbs 13:3

"He that walketh with the wisemen shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."

Proverbs 13:20

"Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the land of the wicked."

Psalms 82:4

"The memory of the just is blessed: but the name of the wicked shall not."

Proverbs 10:7

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Psalms 82:5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.

Proverbs 2:4-5 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.

Isaiah 6:9 And he said, Go, and tell this people, Hear ye indeed, but understand not; and see ye indeed, but perceive not.

Daniel 12:10 Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.

Matthew 13:13 Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.

Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

quote:Originally posted by URa11FUX:

My favorite verses also come from the book of Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 16:17

Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them,

Translation: Thou hast made dildos out of gold and/or silver and commited whoredoms with them.

... thats right, they used dildos in bible times!!!



Ezekiel 23:19-20

Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Translation: She liked the Egyptian men because their penises were as big as a donkeys and they ejaculated like horses.





You're funny, but you blew it out of context.

Spiritual Translation: She was unfaithful to God and began to worship Ba'al again (an Idol).

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:

I love this thread:



SAMSON'S RIDDLE:

Judges 14:14

'Out of the eater came what is eaten,

and out of the strong came what is sweet'.

'What is sweeter than honey, and stronger than a lion?'



etc.



surely someone knows this one?

"Samson's riddle is found in Judges 14:14: "Out of the eater came something to eat, And out of the strong came something sweet." The answer was that Samson had taken honey from a hive that had been formed in the carcass of a lion (Judg. 14:8,17).

Answer by Ra McLaughlin"

Actually, it was most likely not bees but those flies that look like them. Undoubtedly Samson, not knowing entomology, did not realize this.

quote:Originally posted by HellzShellz:



You're funny, but you blew it out of context.

Spiritual Translation: She was unfaithful to God and began to worship Ba'al again (an Idol).

Hey, great idea! Make a NEW version of the Bible called the "Spiritual Translation", wherein you interpret the verses for everyone so they don't have to think for themselves!

^^^ Not exactly true. What Shellz was trying to say (correctly , in my opinion) was that you have to take into account the entire context and point trying to be illustrated by the addage as a whole.



My fav. is John 3:16

[This message has been edited by Beholder (edited 09-30-2005).]

quote:Originally posted by Beholder:

^^^ Not exactly true. What Shellz was trying to say (correctly , in my opinion) was that you have to take into account the entire context and point trying to be illustrated by the addage as a whole.



My fav. is John 3:16



Thank you.

From Song of Songs chapter 5:

My Beloved thrust his hand through the hole in the door;

I trembled to the core of my being.

Then I rose

to open to my Beloved,

myrrh ran off my hands,

pure myrrh off my fingers,

on to the handle of the bolt.

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:

I love this thread:



SAMSON'S RIDDLE:

Judges 14:14

'Out of the eater came what is eaten,

and out of the strong came what is sweet'.

'What is sweeter than honey, and stronger than a lion?'



etc.



surely someone knows this one?

My FARTS

LOL

John 10:10

A thief comes only to rob, kill and destroy. I have come so that everyone would have life, and have it to the fullest.

Thats what hes about!!!

Phillipians 1:21

My senior year of high school (in Senior Composition) we had to write a persuasive essay about any controversial topic we could think of.

I came up with "Why Cults Are Beneficial to Society".

Alongside the Manson Family, the Reverend Jim Jones, and the Heaven's Gate cult, I used that bible passage to condone cultsuicide.

I got an A.

"In the Beginning...

it should be replaced with Once upon a time...

Phillipians 1:21

My senior year of high school (in Senior Composition) we had to write a persuasive essay about any controversial topic we could think of.

I came up with "Why Cults Are Beneficial to Society".

Alongside the Manson Family, the Reverend Jim Jones, and the Heaven's Gate cult, I used that Bible passage to condone cult suicide.

I got an A.

quote:Originally posted by Goat Saint:

Phillipians 1:21

My senior year of high school (in Senior Composition) we had to write a persuasive essay about any controversial topic we could think of.

I came up with "Why Cults Are Beneficial to Society".

Alongside the Manson Family, the Reverend Jim Jones, and the Heaven's Gate cult, I used that Bible passage to condone cult suicide.

I got an A.



Good for you kid!

John 21:25 There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the bootks that would be written.

2 Tim 2:15 - Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:



Good for you kid!

Why thank you.

You should've seen the Christian students' faces when I perverted their gospel with such ideas.

quote:Originally posted by quasicurus:

Here's mine:

Ezekeil 4:12

And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.



Meaning:

God tells Ezekiel to eat barley cakes that are made with "the dung that cometh out of man."

This is from Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible:

Eze 4:12 -

Thou shalt bake it with dung - Dried ox and cow dung is a common fuel in the east; and with this, for want of wood and coals, they are obliged to prepare their food. Indeed, dried excrement of every kind is gathered. Here, the prophet is to prepare his bread with dry human excrement. And when we know that this did not come in contact with the bread, and was only used to warm the plate, (see Eze_4:3), on which the bread was laid over the fire, it removes all the horror and much of the disgust. This was required to show the extreme degree of wretchedness to which they should be exposed; for, not being able to leave the city to collect the dried excrements of beasts, the inhabitants during the siege would be obliged, literally, to use dried human ordure for fuel. The very circumstances show that this was the plain fact of the case. However, we find that the prophet was relieved from using this kind of fuel, for cow’s dung was substituted at his request. See Eze_4:15.

quote:Originally posted by everything and nothing:

it's so interesting because "Elohim", translated wtihout justification means in Hebrew "those who came from the sky" and also the word is plural. it changes everything that follows. so that's my favorite



I was going to post from Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible, but it is very long (very interesting, but very long). Anyway, yes, 'Elohim' is plural but it is used with the singular verb 'bara'.

Supposedly, one Jewish Rabbi (Simeon ben Joachi) also commented on the Tri-aspect of the word 'Elohim', but i cannot find any evidence of him or his commentary or when he lived... other than this quote that is repeated by everyone quote:(An eminent Jewish rabbi, Simeon ben Joachi, in his comment on the sixth section of Leviticus, has these remarkable words: “Come and see the mystery of the word Elohim; there are three degrees, and each degree by itself alone, and yet notwithstanding they are all one, and joined together in one, and are not divided from each other.” ), but this is as far as i could find.

As far as Clarke's Commentary, here is the link:

http://www.godrules.net/library/clarke/clarkegen1.htm