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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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 #1 
Old 2005-08-31, 14:48
WeaponsOMassIdiot WeaponsOMassIdiot is offline
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Default The Bible

The most I can think of the Bible is is a FICTIONAL book of moral stories, so think about this.

God does not want incest [sex with your own family], but if he only created Adam and Eve, and they had only a few kids, how are we here? Someone had to fuck there sister up the ass a couple of times. Can you say, Holy Blowjobs?
 #2 
Old 2005-08-31, 22:25
Lou Reed Lou Reed is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

Listen to "who by fire" by Leonard Cohen.

Its about you
 #3 
Old 2005-08-31, 23:23
awkword awkword is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
 #4 
Old 2005-08-31, 23:25
Lou Reed Lou Reed is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by awkword:

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

good one
 #5 
Old 2005-09-01, 00:19
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Behind the boat house
Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:

Listen to "who by fire" by Leonard Cohen.

Its about you

I love you. Let's make babies.

Cheers,

Lost
 #6 
Old 2005-09-01, 00:32
Magnus_Ungermax Magnus_Ungermax is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by WeaponsOMassIdiot:

The most I can think of the Bible is is a FICTIONAL book of moral stories, so think about this.

God does not want incest [sex with your own family], but if he only created Adam and Eve, and they had only a few kids, how are we here? Someone had to fuck there sister up the ass a couple of times. Can you say, Holy Blowjobs?

It saddens me to know my views are the same as yours. Thanks a fucking lot you just made someone christian
 #7 
Old 2005-09-01, 02:10
Christop Christop is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

There wouldn't have been problems with incest then because there would have been extremely few genetic errors by that stage. If you read Genesis as history in the modern, literal, logical sense.

[This message has been edited by Christop (edited 09-01-2005).]
 #8 
Old 2005-09-01, 02:39
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by awkword:

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

How's Your Shift Key Feeling?
 #9 
Old 2005-09-01, 04:02
Cancerous Cretin Cancerous Cretin is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

the ikea catalogue just overtook the bible as the most printed book on earth
 #10 
Old 2005-09-01, 06:13
Lynne le Fay Lynne le Fay is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

Teehee.

If you accept "Adam" to mean "Man," and "Eve" to mean "Woman," it makes a hell of a lot more sense.

Considering that no one who wrote Genesis was actually there, they did a good enough job of copying down what was probably oral tradition. And by that I don't mean Holy Blowjobs, you sick fuck. No one gets pregnant that way unless you have a very strange vagina that doubles as you esophagus...what a fun disorder...

Moving on, there is evidence semi-proving some stories in the Bible.

Crudely you've stated why many Protestants only believe in the New Testament because the old is rife with sin. Big fat sin.

I'm wondering if you have actually read the Bible, seeing as you only know one of its more famous stories. Adam and Eve is a tamer story than most.

What of Lot after Sodom and Gamorra were destroyed? His daughters got him drunk so they could have sex with him and carry on his seed. Have fun getting away with that today.

Love and Sodomy,

Lynne
 #11 
Old 2005-09-01, 11:47
Darwinist Darwinist is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by Emperor:

How's Your Shift Key Feeling?

You just didn't get it.
 #12 
Old 2005-09-01, 15:49
Atomical Atomical is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by Christop:

There wouldn't have been problems with incest then because there would have been extremely few genetic errors by that stage. If you read Genesis as history in the modern, literal, logical sense.



It's a myth that incest causes extreme mutations. It's part of the incest taboo.
 #13 
Old 2005-09-01, 20:02
Lou Reed Lou Reed is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

I love you. Let's make babies.

Cheers,

Lost



Geeze, i'm stumped...

Thats an interesting proposition,

where are you?
 #14 
Old 2005-09-01, 20:08
Lou Reed Lou Reed is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

quote:Originally posted by WeaponsOMassIdiot:

Can you say, Holy Blowjobs?[/B]

i hope everyone laughs except WeaponsOMassIdiot: http://www.bilski.net/images/Humor/youdaman.jpg
 #15 
Old 2005-09-01, 21:28
Goat Saint Goat Saint is offline
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Default Re: The Bible

I didn't know Carlos Mencia was on totse!

Amazing!
 
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