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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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 #1 
Old 2005-08-08, 06:29
Knave Knave is offline
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Default if you could say one thing to god

if he really exists. id ask " WTF bro? Why does the world suck so goddamn much?"

then He'd reply with some bull shit about free will and id get all pissed off and say " i dont wanna hear that shit!"

ok, im done. what would you say?
 #2 
Old 2005-08-08, 06:51
Paradise Lost Paradise Lost is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Pfffft easy. I'd just throw one of the logical paradoxes at it.

Can you create a rock so heavy you can't lift it?

If you have omni-max powers along with being all benevolent why do you allow suffering?

 #3 
Old 2005-08-08, 07:13
Regular
 
Canada
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

If you asked him about a paradox he could just say something about us not being able to comprehend it. Tis the answer for everything.
 #4 
Old 2005-08-08, 07:16
Paradise Lost Paradise Lost is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by sketchy:

If you asked him about a paradox he could just say something about us not being able to comprehend it. Tis the answer for everything.

Nope nope. God is omnipotent and omniscient. It would have to know of a way to explain it and would have to be able to explain it.
 #5 
Old 2005-08-08, 08:31
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Yami no tensai
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd simply inform it that it is indeed an unredeemable asshole.
 #6 
Old 2005-08-08, 09:39
midgetbasketball midgetbasketball is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

The world isn't so bad, it just only the bad stuff you hear about.

*quivers in fear as a mob aproachs with baseball bats ready to beat preacher boy*

I'd say "What do you really look like?"
 #7 
Old 2005-08-08, 09:58
Regular
 
Canada
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Paradise Lost:

Nope nope. God is omnipotent and omniscient. It would have to know of a way to explain it and would have to be able to explain it.

Does he have to say that though? He could bullshit you to like as the rock got bigger he got stronger in an infinite sort of way.
 #8 
Old 2005-08-08, 10:06
Paradise Lost Paradise Lost is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by sketchy:

Does he have to say that though? He could bullshit you to like as the rock got bigger he got stronger in an infinite sort of way.

It doesn't have to do anything. But since this thread was titled "if you could say one thing to god" I figured that in this scenario God would answer back.

As for the rock paradox there's actually a solution, albeit a confusing one. God is omnipotent meaning it can both create one that it can't lift and one that it could lift simultaneously.

It's the suffering one that tends to throw people.
 #9 
Old 2005-08-08, 11:24
The Walrus The Walrus is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I would say, why did you take my goldfish away when I was 10?
 #10 
Old 2005-08-08, 18:17
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Tea and Crumpets country
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd say "May I please have my soul back?"
 #11 
Old 2005-08-08, 18:26
Shaokhano Shaokhano is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

if u know everything then u know i'm about 2 hit u in the face
 #12 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:10
z.neocide z.neocide is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Is Jeff Hunter going to heaven or hell?
 #13 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:23
thugalbino thugalbino is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

what came first, the chicken or the egg?
 #14 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:34
Moderator
 
҉
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Paradise Lost:

Pfffft easy. I'd just throw one of the logical paradoxes at it.

Can you create a rock so heavy you can't lift it?

If you have omni-max powers along with being all benevolent why do you allow suffering?



I think that the rock paradox is easy to answer. God inherently cannot do some things. There are those things which are totally unique to man, such as sin. God cannot sin because it is not in his nature.

Now that we have established that he cannot do some things, God is omnipotent. He cannot make a rock so heavy he could not lift it. For he cannot do anything he cannot do. (reflexive property).

If he cannot lift it, he cannot create it. Therefore it is unnatural to him to be able to trump any facet of his nature.

Another thought is that who says God cannot bend the laws of physics (if he so chooses to abide by them)? He can just as easilly create a rock too heavy for him and then make the mass smaller or himself stronger.

EDIT: or he could make a rock only slightly heavier than he can lift and then work out at the gym and pick it up.

[This message has been edited by ArgonPlasma2000 (edited 08-08-2005).]
 #15 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:41
Paradise Lost Paradise Lost is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

I think that the rock paradox is easy to answer. God inherently cannot do some things. There are those things which are totally unique to man, such as sin. God cannot sin because it is not in his nature.

Now that we have established that he cannot do some things, God is omnipotent. He cannot make a rock so heavy he could not lift it. For he cannot do anything he cannot do. (reflexive property).

If he cannot lift it, he cannot create it. Therefore it is unnatural to him to be able to trump any facet of his nature.

Another thought is that who says God cannot bend the laws of physics (if he so chooses to abide by them)? He can just as easilly create a rock too heavy for him and then make the mass smaller or himself stronger.

EDIT: or he could make a rock only slightly heavier than he can lift and then work out at the gym and pick it up.



God inherently cannot do some things.

God is omnipotent.

These seem contradictory. Omnipotence entitles that somethings is all-powerful meaning it can do anything. I agree that I don't think an omnipotent being would be constrained by physics or logic, then it wouldn't be omnipotent.

But since a God is all powerful, it can both create a rock so heavy that it can't lift and lift it at the same time. Its actions don't have to coincide with logic.
 #16 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:47
Moderator
 
҉
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

[/b][/QUOTE]

God inherently cannot do some things.

God is omnipotent.

These seem contradictory. Omnipotence entitles that somethings is all-powerful meaning it can do anything. I agree that I don't think an omnipotent being would be constrained by physics or logic, then it wouldn't be omnipotent.

But since a God is all powerful, it can both create a rock so heavy that it can't lift and lift it at the same time. Its actions don't have to coincide with logic.[/B][/QUOTE]

The definition of omnipotence was made by whom? Certainly omnipotence means that God can do anything he can do. Right? God cannot sin. You and I both must agree on that. Yet how can God both be omnipotent and not sin?

It is obvious that omnipotence does not mean that God can do anything that we can conceive, it only means he can do anything that is in his nature. So if thats true than it is understood already he can do whatever is natural to him, rendering the label/definition of omnipotence completely void and unnecessary.

But yes, logic as we know it doesnt make God abide by it. It may very well be that to God 1+1=0.
 #17 
Old 2005-08-08, 21:58
Paradise Lost Paradise Lost is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Touche...
 #18 
Old 2005-08-09, 01:02
Mr. Idiot Mr. Idiot is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by thugalbino:

what came first, the chicken or the egg?

Edit: Didn't quote right.



[This message has been edited by Mr. Idiot (edited 08-09-2005).]
 #19 
Old 2005-08-09, 03:24
Moderator
 
Fairfax, Virginia, America
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd ask a two-pronged question:

1) What are the works of God that msut be performed to arrive in heaven?

2) If one performs these acts without doing so in the name of God, would they still go to heaven?

Two most important questions to know.
 #20 
Old 2005-08-09, 04:17
zik zik is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd say, how's it possible to ask an energy a question?

Sorry kids but God is just like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and sane women.
 #21 
Old 2005-08-09, 07:15
NewRage NewRage is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"Sorry"

Cause if I could ask him a question, the he obviously exsists... in which case I would be sorry for thinking otherwise...
 #22 
Old 2005-08-09, 10:30
Regular
 
Behind the boat house
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"What's up? Looks like you need help. Let me know what I can do. I'd like a spot in the bible."

However, I like to believe that I have an open dialouge with god.

Cheers,

Lost
 #23 
Old 2005-08-09, 12:00
elfstone elfstone is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

"What's up? Looks like you need help. Let me know what I can do. I'd like a spot in the bible."

However, I like to believe that I have an open dialouge with god.

Cheers,

Lost

Is it a dialogue when you're the only one doing the talking?
 #24 
Old 2005-08-09, 20:44
Moderator
 
Wasilla, Alaska
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Gorloche:

I'd ask a two-pronged question:

1) What are the works of God that msut be performed to arrive in heaven?

2) If one performs these acts without doing so in the name of God, would they still go to heaven?

Two most important questions to know.

FYI, heaven is a myth. After this life, we all either reincarnate, merge with Spirit, or hang out as a discarnate entity (i.e., ghost).

Back to topic--I'd say "nice work--thanks for everything."

Which I have already done, many times.
 #25 
Old 2005-08-10, 17:01
happygogo happygogo is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Id say please make me come back as pantyhose on a supermodel
 #26 
Old 2005-08-10, 17:30
Moderator
 
҉
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by ArmsMerchant:

FYI, heaven is a myth. After this life, we all either reincarnate, merge with Spirit, or hang out as a discarnate entity (i.e., ghost).

Back to topic--I'd say "nice work--thanks for everything."

Which I have already done, many times.



Id be interested in asking how do you know that to be true. Or it it because of your shaman background and information?
 #27 
Old 2005-08-10, 18:59
SwordChucks SwordChucks is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

*slams cock in gods mouth*
 #28 
Old 2005-08-10, 20:41
The Misfit The Misfit is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

you're missing out on the real question



what the fuck were you thinking.....when you decided the platypus was a good idea for an animal

[This message has been edited by The Misfit (edited 08-10-2005).]
 #29 
Old 2005-08-10, 21:01
UnfitPuppetToSoceity UnfitPuppetToSoceity is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd ask God "What the FUCK were you thinking when you made Aludin?!"

[This message has been edited by UnfitPuppetToSoceity (edited 08-10-2005).]
 #30 
Old 2005-08-10, 21:06
deceptacon5000 deceptacon5000 is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

cyborg penis godzilla
 #31 
Old 2005-08-10, 21:15
mastershake mastershake is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"can you microwave a burrito so hot that you yourself cant eat it"
 #32 
Old 2005-08-10, 22:39
VladimirIllyichLenin VladimirIllyichLenin is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

LET JESUS FUCK YOU, LET JESUS FUCK YOU...

or let him be FUCKED BY THE BLACK GOAT OF THE WOODS FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.

[This message has been edited by VladimirIllyichLenin (edited 08-10-2005).]
 #33 
Old 2005-08-11, 02:30
Regular
 
Baghdad, Iraq
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I would ask God this. If you created us what created you?
 #34 
Old 2005-08-11, 05:13
Regular
 
umm that place near that other place
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"so you played any good skee-ball lately?"
 #35 
Old 2005-08-11, 07:57
Andreas Andreas is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I'd be like....what the fuck?
 #36 
Old 2005-08-11, 08:06
CatharticWeek CatharticWeek is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"Help."
 #37 
Old 2005-08-11, 10:53
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Behind the boat house
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by elfstone:

Is it a dialogue when you're the only one doing the talking?

What makes you think it's just me talking?

Cheers,

Lost
 #38 
Old 2005-08-11, 13:09
person person is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

forgive me my wrongdoings,

I love you

Jesus Christ IS Lord, and DID die for my SALVATION
 #39 
Old 2005-08-11, 16:44
Beholder Beholder is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

^^^ Indeed.

&

Forgive me for my transgressions, as I was chief among sinnners. Save me from sin.



I dislike arrogant athiests/agnostic people. If you don't want to believe in GOD, you have the right not to; but when you act like a major ignorant ass and say that GOD is just like the easter bunny that upsets me. They often encompass the belief in GOD with stupidity, which isn't necessarily true.

[This message has been edited by Beholder (edited 08-11-2005).]
 #40 
Old 2005-08-11, 16:55
Regular
 
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
 #41 
Old 2005-08-12, 05:18
SwordChucks SwordChucks is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote: Originally posted by Beholder

^^^ Indeed.

&

Forgive me for my transgressions, as I was chief among sinnners. Save me from sin.



I dislike arrogant athiests/agnostic people. If you don't want to believe in GOD, you have the right not to; but when you act like a major ignorant ass and say that GOD is just like the easter bunny that upsets me. They often encompass the belief in GOD with stupidity, which isn't necessarily true.



Maybe if you didn't wallow in your hypocracy you could see that christians do nothing but diss athiests in church. Your ignorance in your actions astound me. Every day one of you tells me 'I'll pray for you', as if I need to be prayed for, as if I need you to save me. Every day someone tells me how 'misdirected' I am. Well, guess what, I'm entitled to my opinion and I don't have to hear yours every day, and vice-versa.

So fuck off.
 #42 
Old 2005-08-12, 11:01
Kel Kel is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I would say,

"Let's talk."

Being the reasonable fellow I hope he is, we would talk, probably for a few thousand years. Then, seeing as he would be able to do anything, I would ask him to put me at the beginning of time, without a physical body or the ability to influence anything outside myself, so I could move around the universe and just watch everything.

That is my ideal afterlife, travelling around the universe, removed from the restraints of time, so I can watch things.
 #43 
Old 2005-08-15, 04:01
land195 land195 is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"Why"

Why bother making the universe, the stars, sun, Earth, animals, plants.... Was he just bored for a week and we just became a hobby?

"Who created you"

"Where are the dinosaurs and ice ages in the bible"

One of those
 #44 
Old 2005-08-16, 02:27
iusethisforeverything iusethisforeverything is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Asking god something would be a wonderful experience. I think I'd have to ask about something related to my past, and why it was allowed to happen (I've been struggling with it for a while now, and still don't understand how any higher power would allow such a thing to happen). I'd hope for a decent reason, and if there isn't one, would be happy to go to hell because our creator is fucked up.

That is, if there is a god.
 #45 
Old 2005-08-16, 09:51
Choscura Choscura is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

"you're fired. now get the fuck out, satan gets your job- at least he's not pretending to be good."
 #46 
Old 2005-08-16, 10:35
niggaz on night ops niggaz on night ops is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Paradise Lost:

Pfffft easy. I'd just throw one of the logical paradoxes at it.

Can you create a rock so heavy you can't lift it?

If you have omni-max powers along with being all benevolent why do you allow suffering?



id ask him why the fuck am i talking to him
 #47 
Old 2005-08-16, 10:41
outcast outcast is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Knave:

if he really exists. id ask " WTF bro? Why does the world suck so goddamn much?"

then He'd reply with some bull shit about free will and id get all pissed off and say " i dont wanna hear that shit!"

ok, im done. what would you say?

How do you know he wouldn't ask you in return why you suck so much? [a 'find the answer within' answer]
 #48 
Old 2005-08-16, 10:45
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Memphis, TN
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by Knave:

if you could say one thing to godI'm sorry.
 #49 
Old 2005-08-16, 11:50
twistedhair_nw twistedhair_nw is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

WHY DO YOU "NEED" MONEY GOD?

AND IF YOU CAN GIVE ME ,SUPPOSEDLY YOUR CHILD A VALID ANSWER THEN I WILL BELIEVE THAT THE GOD EVERYONE PUMPS UP SO MUCH ABOUT ACTUALLY,POSSIBLY...COULD EXSIST.

BUT I HAVE MY DOUBTS.............

SO,........WHY DO YOU NEED MONEY GOD?
 #50 
Old 2005-08-17, 06:27
Moderator
 
Houston, TX
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I would say "Where are you?"
 #51 
Old 2005-08-20, 23:19
BrokeThePope BrokeThePope is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I would ask him "Why?"
 #52 
Old 2005-08-21, 05:42
Pr0phecy Pr0phecy is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

I wouldn't talk. I'd smile because I'd know God exists and there is a better place for my family, friends and me when I pass away.
 #53 
Old 2005-08-21, 06:06
The Mad Bomber The Mad Bomber is offline
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Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

Me: Can I be given imortality and powers?

God: Okay, but you can only use them for good.

Me: Would it be "good" to build myself a huge palace?

God: You're allowed to bend the rules a little.

Me: Okay thanks You're the best god ever.

God: Cya man.
 #54 
Old 2005-08-21, 19:30
Regular
 
Yami no tensai
Default Re: if you could say one thing to god

quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Id be interested in asking how do you know that to be true.

Well I'm glad you asked!

It's because he's a Shaman!
 
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