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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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#1
 2005-06-08, 20:14
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HagbardCeline 
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Religion should be illegal!
I was reading an old copy of Paladin Press's "DEA Investigators Manual" the other day, and an interesting phrase caught my eye. They were describing "euphoric" drugs, and stated that they "cause an unwarranted sense of well-being or happiness, unrelated to real experiences"!
Holy Shit! That's what all the God-Botherers say about religion when you try to nail 'em down to facts. They end up whining that it makes people "feel" better.
So here's my idea: Let's be consistant, and apply the same standards to religion that we apply to dope, and make the shit illegal?
Point One--Obviously, it makes people act stupidly (like dope). Witness the current fluster about teaching creationism in schools. We've already got one of the worst standards of education in the Industrialized World, and we're gonna start teaching our kids that the universe was made in seven days, by a supernatural creature, 6000 years ago? I actually had a grown man tell me the other day, that fossils and Carbon-14 were "tricks of the Devil", WTF?
Point Two--Religion hurts the economy (like dope). I'm going to gloss this one, and just say that it seems stupid for businesses to have to shut down one day of the week because of a bunch of loonies think that some invisible monster is going to "smite" them, (or whatever) if they open up on the "Holy Day". It makes things difficult for sane people to get the shopping done. There's also the enormous amount of money that is channeled out of the consumers pockets in the form of tithes, or offerings, or whatever you call it to churches. This money could be spent much more productively, I'm sure....
Point Three--Religion causes violence (like dope). Crusades. Jihads. Inquisition. Witch-Trials. The KKK. The Holocaust. Israel.(the entire Middle East, for that matter.) James Dobson. Need I say more?
Anyway, thats my plan, and I think it's a damn good one that would solve a lot of problems. Send all contributions to the "Giovanni Bruno Died For Your Sins Foundation"
P.S. I already heard that I was "gonna burn in hell", so don't bother..
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#2
 2005-06-08, 20:29
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bsouthern6 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
All right well first off even if religion is illegal it will still go on I mean dope makes you feal good your not just going to stop because a bunch of dumbass' in the govt. tell you to. To hell with them and just think more wars have been fought over religion in the history of the world than anything else so if you are trying to start a fight your going about it the right way. I think that is what your trying to do.
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#3
 2005-06-08, 20:54
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Nice try, troll.
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#4
 2005-06-08, 20:57
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HagbardCeline 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
OK You got me there....
But I wasn't so much wanting to start a fight, as to promote a discussion, using Swiftian satire to point out some major problems. I mean there's more evidence for Sasquatch than for God, but try telling someone you believe in Bigfoot, and see how they react!
And besides, if somehow, religion was outlawed, it would at least keep the nutcases off the streets. (and maybe I could by a beer on Sunday morning!)
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#5
 2005-06-08, 21:04
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bsouthern6 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Troll? well maybe this is my first day on this website plus I am only fourteen.
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#6
 2005-06-08, 21:10
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Dude's not a troll, really. Just a kid trying to find his footing.
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#7
 2005-06-08, 21:56
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
You honestly think this is an original idea? It's been a part of the Democratic Party platform for years.  Before that, Mao, before that, Stalin, before that, Hitler, before that, Marx, before that, Nietzsche, and so on...
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#8
 2005-06-08, 22:15
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Regular
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My mommas uterus.
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Everyone knows drugs are better than religion.
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#9
 2005-06-08, 22:28
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HagbardCeline 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Drugs are better than religion.I tried to smoke a Bible the other day, and it choked shit out of me! Didn't get high either....
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#10
 2005-06-08, 22:28
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
I support your title but didnt read the rest...
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#11
 2005-06-08, 22:36
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HagbardCeline 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
I think that falls under the category "Damned by faint praise", but thanks anyway
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#12
 2005-06-09, 02:13
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The land of milk and honey
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:
You honestly think this is an original idea? It's been a part of the Democratic Party platform for years.  Before that, Mao, before that, Stalin, before that, Hitler, before that, Marx, before that, Nietzsche, and so on...
The Democratic party huh? I heard they also eat live kittens and have sex with aborted feti on a daily basis.
You should fax a resume to Carl Rove.
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#13
 2005-06-09, 02:43
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Maccabee 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by great_sage=heaven:
The Democratic party huh? I heard they also eat live kittens and have sex with aborted feti on a daily basis.
You should fax a resume to Carl Rove.
You know, as well as I do, that all you guys rub down with peanut butter while simultaneously rubbing pictures of your mothers all over your genitalia. This of course occurs during the full moon and in full view of ass licking Irish midgets (Pat Buchanan) who themselves are naked and talking to the trees.
You should fax a resume to Howard Dean.
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#14
 2005-06-09, 04:44
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Eil 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by great_sage=heaven:
The Democratic party huh? I heard they also eat live kittens and have sex with aborted feti on a daily basis.
You should fax a resume to Carl Rove.
hey spiffy screen name! i've been reading an english translation of 'monkey' by alex whaley that i found in a box of old books... it looked good, and i want to beef up my knowledge of eastern cultures, so i dove into it.
so far, it's friggin' great. i just read the episode where monkey and tripitaka remove the imposter magician and restore the dead emperor.
i'd seen your screen name before, but didn't get it.
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#15
 2005-06-09, 05:34
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by HagbardCeline:
OK You got me there....
But I wasn't so much wanting to start a fight, as to promote a discussion, using Swiftian satire to point out some major problems. I mean there's more evidence for Sasquatch than for God, but try telling someone you believe in Bigfoot, and see how they react!
And besides, if somehow, religion was outlawed, it would at least keep the nutcases off the streets. (and maybe I could by a beer on Sunday morning!)
Doing well, though. I support it. Nice with Swift, by the way. Much prefered to Pope and his stuff. Now, to remember Juvenalian and Horation satire...
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#16
 2005-06-09, 13:36
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GAconfederate 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by HagbardCeline:
if somehow, religion was outlawed, it would at least keep the nutcases off the streets. (and maybe I could by a beer on Sunday morning!)
Yeah your right a lot of those really religious people are loonies
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#17
 2005-06-09, 23:15
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Paradise Lost 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Better dead than red you commie cunt... 
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#18
 2005-06-09, 23:26
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:
You honestly think this is an original idea? It's been a part of the Democratic Party platform for years.  Before that, Mao, before that, Stalin, before that, Hitler, before that, Marx, before that, Nietzsche, and so on...
Should I even bother saying "bullshit"? Really, I mean, it's so obvious...
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#19
 2005-06-10, 02:09
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HagbardCeline 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Don't forget to add to your list Issac Newton, Micheal Montaigne, Thomas Jefferson, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein.....You get the idea.
See, Despots oppose religion because it threatens their power. Rational people oppose it because it's absurd.
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#20
 2005-06-10, 04:50
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Experimental 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by HagbardCeline:
Drugs are better than religion.I tried to smoke a Bible the other day, and it choked shit out of me! Didn't get high either....
Y'know, i tried that too... no substance, and it had me coughing for hours... wasn't THAT holy
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#21
 2005-06-11, 03:13
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The land of milk and honey
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by Maccabee:
You know, as well as I do, that all you guys rub down with peanut butter while simultaneously rubbing pictures of your mothers all over your genitalia. This of course occurs during the full moon and in full view of ass licking Irish midgets (Pat Buchanan) who themselves are naked and talking to the trees.
You should fax a resume to Howard Dean.
1. That was creepy, not funny. It seems like you put a little too much thought into it.
2. Pat's a conservative, no matter how much you guys might not want to admit it.
3. Keep your fantasies in s&e tiger.
Edit: To Eil, yes journey to the east, or monkey king, is some neat shit, with a bunch of different versions. I grew up with that in Cairo for the first 4-5 years of my life.
[This message has been edited by great_sage=heaven (edited 06-11-2005).]
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#22
 2005-06-11, 04:10
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fagwhoagogs 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
In the U.S. religion could never be illegal because the U.S. has made the first amendment.If you don't know what this is then you need to be fuckin shot.
¦TAO¦âèðóñ
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#23
 2005-06-11, 06:09
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The little land of Oz
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Banning religion is going a little too far.
I don't care what belifes people follow, as long as they don't try to force it on me or others.
Like Religious education in schools. Where I live, you dont have to do it in primary school if your parents say no. Its not forced on you. I don't know what it is about the teaching the creation theory in American schools. (Is it compusery in some states? Can someone tell me a little bit more on this?)
On another note, banning religion will not stop wars etc. They are caused by people. If they can't use religion, they'll find a new excuse.
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#24
 2005-06-11, 07:28
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The land of milk and honey
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
To actually address the topic. People who believe this, (totalitarian gov's on both sides of the spectrum, sadly I admit, ussually left), should be kept out of any positions of power, and if they find they're way into one, should be immediately ousted and jailed.
I don't even see a viable argument for such an idea, people have the right to worship.
[This message has been edited by great_sage=heaven (edited 06-11-2005).]
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#25
 2005-06-11, 07:52
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MasterPython 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Most religions are illegal in China. But they still jail alot of people for practicing them.
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#26
 2005-06-11, 09:34
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allthegoodnamesweregone 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
and yet christianty still continues to grow... I wonder why that is...?
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#27
 2005-06-11, 16:36
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Experimental 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
I've found that when suppressed, religion grows rapidly at unexpected times, and is later thought of as a great struggle and ensures faith.
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#28
 2005-06-12, 01:58
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howdigethere 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
I agree one hundred percent with the thread title, for reasons to long and many to get into here.
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#29
 2005-06-12, 22:58
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I Hate Stanky 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
Agreed
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#30
 2005-06-13, 01:49
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your_daemon 
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Re: Religion should be illegal!
quote:Originally posted by allthegoodnamesweregone:
and yet christianty still continues to grow... I wonder why that is...?
Its because society is brainwashing itself by brainwashing its young making us all believe the same things instead of letting us draw our own conclusions. So if society want help us grow our own individuality we will have to do it ourselves.
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