I don't care if it rains or freezes

Long as I got my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

He's the dude with the rusty nails,

Walks on water, don't need no sails

Riding on the dashboard of me car

Through my trials and tribulations

And my travels through the nations

With my Plastic Jesus I'll go far.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car

I'm afraid He'll have to go.

His magnets ruin my radio

And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar.

Riding down a thoroughfare

With His nose up in the air,

A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind.

Trouble coming He don't see,

He just keeps His eye on me

And any other thing that lies behind.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car ...

Though the sunshine on His back

Make Him peel, chip and crack,

A little patching keeps Him up to par.

When I'm in a traffic jam

He don't care if I say "damn"

I can let all my curses roll

Plastic Jesus doesn't hear

'Cause he has a plastic ear

The man who invented plastic saved my soul.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car ...

Once His robe was snowy white,

Now it isn't quite so bright -

Stained by the smoke of my cigar.

If I weave around at night,

And policemen think I'm tight,

They never find my bottle - though they ask.

Plastic Jesus shelters me,

For His head comes off, you see

He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car ...

Ride with me and have a dram

Of the blood of the Lamb -

Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.

Riding home one foggy night,

With my honey cuddled tight,

I missed a curve and off the road we veered.

My windshield got smashed-up good,

And my darling graced the hood.

Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.

Doctors in the X-ray room

Found Him in my darling's womb.

Someday, He'll be born again!

I don't care if it rains or freezes

Long as I got my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Moving to Vogon Poetry

Cheers,

Lost