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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add Junkie-Wino-Creep to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 07:43
Junkie-Wino-Creep Junkie-Wino-Creep is offline
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^^?

if you wonder why i ask... take my initials and compare...
  #2   Add MasterPython to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 09:02
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http:../../www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html

I am not sure if he has a last name either, Christ is a title.
  #3   Add Hexadecimal to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 19:29
Hexadecimal Hexadecimal is offline
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Yeshua ben Joseph...no middle name. It means Jesus (son) of Joseph.
  #4   Add DonnieDelinko to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 20:53
DonnieDelinko DonnieDelinko is offline
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H. IE. Jebus H Christ
  #5   Add Nokturnal to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 20:55
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Hmm i heard something he wasent the son of joseph but joseph just took care of mary since he was a loving man. thats why they thought it was a virgin birth becouse joseph wasent the father. i might be compleatly wrong tho i heard this on the history channel

  #6   Add aTribeCalledSean to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-02, 22:07
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Yeshua ben Joseph
  #7   Add chickenpoop to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-03, 09:27
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by DonnieDelinko:

H. IE. Jebus H Christ
beat me to it.
  #8   Add Sephiroth to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-04, 07:35
Sephiroth Sephiroth is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Yeshua ben Joseph...no middle name. It means Jesus (son) of Joseph.
Yehoshua ben Yosef ben David...carries it a step further to indicate the Davidic line, which you'd need if you want to call him ha Mashiach.
  #9   Add Tesseract to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-05, 02:17
Tesseract Tesseract is offline
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Oh, my savior has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
  #10   Add Rusticus to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-05, 05:14
Rusticus Rusticus is offline
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Well, he could. Quick answer is - we dont know. It isnt mentioned in the bible, if he did have one.

But then again, back then people didnt really have middle - or last - names, according to what I understand. Judas of Iscariot, Jesus of Nazareth, Herod king of the Jews, Joseph of Arimathea, and the list goes on.

However, reality rears it's ever-humbling head again: in the end - we dont know. It was never specified one way or another.

Cheers,



-Uncle Rusty
  #11   Add stiletto to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-05, 05:35
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Tesseract:

Oh, my savior has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
my savior has a second name, it's mayer!
  #12   Add imperfectcircle to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 13:00
imperfectcircle imperfectcircle is offline
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Harold
  #13   Add atombaum88 to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 16:23
atombaum88 atombaum88 is offline
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The middle name in Jesus H. Christ is Hallowed. (Our Father, Hallowed Be Thy Name)
  #14   Add imperfectcircle to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 16:40
imperfectcircle imperfectcircle is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by atombaum88:

The middle name in Jesus H. Christ is Hallowed. (Our Father, Hallowed Be Thy Name)


That's the Father, i.e. God. Jesus was his son.
  #15   Add Mr.Alex to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 17:31
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willy
  #16   Add sellout_10 to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 20:49
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by imperfectcircle:



That's the Father, i.e. God. Jesus was his son.
But they're still the same triune God, and their still viewed as hallowed (holy).

[This message has been edited by sellout_10 (edited 04-10-2005).]
  #17   Add thoughtatwork to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 21:05
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h is for harold, homer, or soemthing like that. www.straightdope.com will tell you.
  #18   Add Jaguarstrike to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 21:06
Jaguarstrike Jaguarstrike is offline
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Of, ie Jesus Of Nazareth
  #19   Add God of Toilets to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 21:15
God of Toilets God of Toilets is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Yeshua ben Joseph
Except that his name was actually Eesho. Aramaic and all that. But if you are of a linguistic bent you can see how Eesho evolved to Yeshua and then to the Latin form Iesus, now modernized as Jesus.
  #20   Add OzKeRdAsUrGeOn to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 22:35
OzKeRdAsUrGeOn OzKeRdAsUrGeOn is offline
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My girlfriend said it was

Jesus Stallone Christ
  #21   Add imperfectcircle to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-10, 22:50
imperfectcircle imperfectcircle is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by thoughtatwork:

h is for harold, homer, or soemthing like that. www.straightdope.com will tell you.


That's funny, I pulled "Harold" out of my ass for no good reason, and it's the first thing the Straight Dope article on it says (but jokingly obviously). Bored minds think alike I suppose.

It recalls the H in the IHS logo emblazoned on much Christian paraphernalia. IHS dates from the earliest years of Christianity, being an abbreviation of "Jesus" in classical Greek characters. The Greek pronunciation is "Iesous," with the E sound being represented by the character eta, which looks like an H. When the symbol passed to Christian Romans, for whom an H was an H, the unaccountable character eventually became accepted as Jesus's middle initial.

http:../../www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html
  #22   Add ou812 to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-11, 02:33
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Henry
  #23   Add DeadlyAssassin to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-11, 02:59
DeadlyAssassin DeadlyAssassin is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Junkie-Wino-Creep:

^^?

if you wonder why i ask... take my initials and compare...
yes, he does.... Jesus FUCKING Christ... what do you think someone just made that shit up?

  #24   Add bored_test_subject to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-11, 03:03
bored_test_subject bored_test_subject is offline
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Jesus H Christ which the H stands for hitler.

  #25   Add Cash Stealer to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-11, 04:00
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Nokturnal:

Hmm i heard something he wasent the son of joseph but joseph just took care of mary since he was a loving man. thats why they thought it was a virgin birth becouse joseph wasent the father. i might be compleatly wrong tho i heard this on the history channel
Now for what REALLY happened:

Joseph thought Mary was hot. Joseph and Mary both got shitfaced drunk one night, and they ended up fucking.

The next day, neither of them could remember what happened.

Now in those days, I believe a girl that became pregnant out of wedlock could be stoned to death. (People throw rocks at her until the dies)

After Mary become pregnant, Joseph realized what must have happened. Joseph, being the caring man that he is, didn't want to see the poor girl stoned to death by an angry mob.

So, together, the 2 thought of an elaborate story to save their asses.

The fucktards of that time believed it without question. (Hell, these people believed in spontaneous generation, thought the world was a square, and thought the moon was made of cheese! Why the hell not?!)

Their story worked so well, that entire nations became carried away with it. Over time, many more stories were added, and compiled into a large book.

This book is now known as the bible.

  #26   Add Keltoiberserker to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-12, 04:02
Keltoiberserker Keltoiberserker is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by God of Toilets:

Except that his name was actually Eesho. Aramaic and all that. But if you are of a linguistic bent you can see how Eesho evolved to Yeshua and then to the Latin form Iesus, now modernized as Jesus.
There we get the similarity to the Arabic Isa bin Yusuf bin Dawud, or also Isa bin Maryam. He's also known to an group of Indian people as Yogi Issa.

He was also called Yeshu, and the Germans call him Jesu.

[This message has been edited by Keltoiberserker (edited 04-12-2005).]
  #27   Add Hexadecimal to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-12, 16:35
Hexadecimal Hexadecimal is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:

Yehoshua ben Yosef ben David...carries it a step further to indicate the Davidic line, which you'd need if you want to call him ha Mashiach.
According to a growing number of peoples, Mary was also of the Davidic bloodline...I think it does have scriptural backing, but it has been several months since I've looked at the lineages in the Bible.
  #28   Add sellout_10 to your ignore list  
Old 2005-04-13, 22:34
sellout_10 sellout_10 is offline
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^I'm not sure of the specifics, but I know Mary was related in blood to David. Or maybe it was Joseph, one of the two, although I guess that would make Jesus not of the Davidic line if it was Joseph...
 


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