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Go Back   Community > Society > My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God
Reload this Page If you could stand before God. . . .
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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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 #1 
Old 2004-12-12, 20:21
Moderator
  
Wasilla, Alaska
Default If you could stand before God. . . .
and speak no more than five words to him/her/it/them/whatever--what would you say?
 #2 
Old 2004-12-12, 20:37
Atomical Atomical is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I would say... Fucking evangelical christians...
 #3 
Old 2004-12-12, 23:06
Optimus Prime Optimus Prime is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Quit with the damn games.
 #4 
Old 2004-12-13, 03:51
Regular
  
US
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
When will suffering end forever?
 #5 
Old 2004-12-13, 04:50
Moderator
  
The Cahulawassee River
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
"What are you doing, man?"
 #6 
Old 2004-12-13, 05:40
deptstoremook deptstoremook is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I compel you; deify me.
 #7 
Old 2004-12-13, 07:33
Sarter Sarter is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
So... what's your next project?
 #8 
Old 2004-12-13, 08:48
shiftyboyos shiftyboyos is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Do you come here often?
 #9 
Old 2004-12-13, 16:44
jurainus jurainus is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Answer all of my questions(,please)!

or

How are your plans going?
 #10 
Old 2004-12-13, 18:48
Regular
  
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Bitch, you aint fo real!
 #11 
Old 2004-12-13, 20:05
ASH_shop_S-mart ASH_shop_S-mart is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Are you eating a Mcrib?
 #12 
Old 2004-12-13, 22:41
megalomaniac megalomaniac is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
want a tuna melt, bitch?

or maybe

what the hell are you?
 #13 
Old 2004-12-13, 23:13
Regular
  
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Is killing ever right? Explain.
 #14 
Old 2004-12-14, 01:07
AngrySquirrel AngrySquirrel is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
When were you born?
 #15 
Old 2004-12-14, 02:28
xtreem5150ahm xtreem5150ahm is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I'm sorry, Thank You.
 #16 
Old 2004-12-14, 04:41
krime-one* krime-one* is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Please slay President George Bush

Do you got any papers?

Where you hiding the bitches?

Should I be here? Really?

is my name in there?(pointing at his book of life)

What is your totse username?

I loved you in Dogma!
 #17 
Old 2004-12-14, 04:48
Dong_Quixote Dong_Quixote is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
This Is A Tasty Burger
 #18 
Old 2004-12-14, 05:51
Regular
  
CincinnatiOhioUSA
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
'Lets speak with our minds'.
 #19 
Old 2004-12-14, 05:59
inquisitor_11 inquisitor_11 is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
This reminds me of that episode of the simpsons where Homer meets the Kwicky-Mart Guru...

"Are you really God?...really?.... really?."
 #20 
Old 2004-12-14, 22:39
$tinger $tinger is offline
Regular
  
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
"I'm getting into Heaven, right?"

"Are there drugs in Heaven?"

"What about guns?"

"Can I still repent?"



[This message has been edited by $tinger (edited 12-14-2004).]
 #21 
Old 2004-12-14, 22:48
$tinger $tinger is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by krime-one*:



What is your totse username?



lol
 #22 
Old 2004-12-14, 22:53
ChainsawGutsfuck ChainsawGutsfuck is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I'd want to make it more coherent but since only 5 words, I would say "in depth, how me heaven?"
 #23 
Old 2004-12-14, 23:16
AcidLacedPenguiN AcidLacedPenguiN is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I'd point at the bacon double cheeseburger in his hand and ask, "Are you gunna eat that?"
 #24 
Old 2004-12-14, 23:16
redjoker redjoker is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I would just stare at him for a while.
 #25 
Old 2004-12-15, 04:58
WolfinSheepsClothing WolfinSheepsClothing is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
May I have some power?
 #26 
Old 2004-12-15, 09:23
dearestnight_falcon dearestnight_falcon is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Ummm.... Damn. So... You're real....
 #27 
Old 2004-12-17, 20:57
Needsahug Needsahug is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
"You suck."
 #28 
Old 2004-12-17, 21:00
neX neX is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Satan shall kill you soon!!!
 #29 
Old 2004-12-17, 22:18
Regular
  
the Vinland
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Finally, you'll bow to me.
 #30 
Old 2004-12-18, 01:07
deptstoremook deptstoremook is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:

I compel you; deify me.

Alternately:

I compel you; defy me.

Paradox lol ^_^;;;
 #31 
Old 2004-12-21, 05:40
Jasper Jones Jasper Jones is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
So, do you wanna fuck?
 #32 
Old 2004-12-21, 19:25
000000 000000 is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Do it again.
 #33 
Old 2004-12-21, 22:46
SwordChucks SwordChucks is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Do... do I hit him?
 #34 
Old 2004-12-22, 06:43
Mr T Mr T is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
(Upon realizing God is real)

I'm going to hell, right?
 #35 
Old 2004-12-24, 22:36
Sem556 Sem556 is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
How can I destroy you?
 #36 
Old 2004-12-25, 03:13
delete delete is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
So, what happened to Hitler?
 #37 
Old 2004-12-25, 03:30
Nephtys-Ra Nephtys-Ra is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I knew you were white!
 #38 
Old 2004-12-25, 06:28
dearestnight_falcon dearestnight_falcon is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by Nephtys-Ra:

I knew you were white!

HAhahaahaha!
 #39 
Old 2004-12-25, 12:17
Regular
  
CincinnatiOhioUSA
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
**Bends God over**

SAY MY NAME!!!

8=============>(o(
 #40 
Old 2004-12-29, 08:50
AngrySquirrel AngrySquirrel is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by Nephtys-Ra:

I knew you were white!



Nah, he's definately Mr.T
 #41 
Old 2004-12-30, 20:10
$tinger $tinger is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by Nephtys-Ra:

I knew you were white!

Heheheheheheheheh *Peter Griffin laugh.*
 #42 
Old 2004-12-31, 20:49
Moderator
  
Wasilla, Alaska
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I would say

"I love your work. Thanks."

And thanks to all who responded, I got a lotta laughs.
 #43 
Old 2005-01-01, 08:12
Keltoiberserker Keltoiberserker is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
What's with the right-wingers?
 #44 
Old 2005-01-01, 09:55
Regular
  
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
fuck you, you fucking fuck.
 #45 
Old 2005-01-04, 01:31
Chaos_Rider Chaos_Rider is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by AcidLacedPenguiN:

I'd point at the bacon double cheeseburger in his hand and ask, "Are you gunna eat that?"

thats funny as hell
 #46 
Old 2005-01-04, 01:57
butch butch is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
"Woah!...I think I'm stoned."
 #47 
Old 2005-01-04, 02:20
Lucifer-Steve Lucifer-Steve is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by shiftyboyos:

Do you come here often?

Hahahahahaha pick up line.
 #48 
Old 2005-01-04, 02:37
spaawn7 spaawn7 is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I want more words bitch.
 #49 
Old 2005-01-04, 06:00
Diabolic acid Diabolic acid is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
"dude, whats with the mullet?"
 #50 
Old 2005-01-04, 21:01
Aczar Aczar is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I'm Rick James, bitch!
 #51 
Old 2005-01-04, 23:12
Demagogue Demagogue is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I wont be seeing god anytime soon...so why bother?
 #52 
Old 2005-01-05, 00:07
underagethinker underagethinker is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Long time no see, man.

OR

Which way to the toilet?

OR

Where did that bus go?
 #53 
Old 2005-01-05, 00:46
HighVelocitySharpie HighVelocitySharpie is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Who the fuck are you?

Or

Me, Any chance in heaven?

or

Who's your daddy?
 #54 
Old 2005-01-05, 00:52
Regular
  
.:six degrees of synesthesia:.
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
I would say...



I LOVE YOU.
 #55 
Old 2005-01-05, 00:56
Regular
  
.:six degrees of synesthesia:.
Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by Keltoiberserker:

What's with the right-wingers?

What's with the left-propellers ?
 #56 
Old 2005-01-05, 00:58
dirtbag dirtbag is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
quote:Originally posted by ArmsMerchant:

and speak no more than five words to him/her/it/them/whatever--what would you say?

where the jews actually right?

or

damn! you must be gellin'!

[This message has been edited by dirtbag (edited 01-05-2005).]
 #57 
Old 2005-01-05, 01:06
fozza fozza is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
do your fucking job properly
 #58 
Old 2005-01-05, 01:16
OMEGA RAPTOR OMEGA RAPTOR is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
Do blondes have more fun?
 #59 
Old 2005-01-05, 09:27
de anza jiig de anza jiig is offline
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Default Re: If you could stand before God. . . .
got a light?
 
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