I'm creating a new christian religion

I'm breaking off from Catholiscisim and creating a new religion called Purus which means pure in latin.

The Six Purus Laws:

1) You shall not kill or hurt anyone unless you are threatened or hurt by that person

2) You shall not steal

3) You shall not commit adultery

4) You shall not curse gods name

5) You shall not worship idols

6) You shall make courts of justice to inforce the other 5 laws

Purus beliefs:

- You will go to hell if you not follow any of the Six Purus Laws

- Jesus is God's son

- There is only one God

- Miracles don't happen: God gives you power to change the world

- Sunday is the sabbath day

if you have any questions about the Purus religion ask me

tell me if you want to join



[This message has been edited by Sobol (edited 06-28-2004).]

Can you reincarnate if you go to hell?

No. When you go to hell you'll stay there for eternity, unless God forgives you and gives you a second chance.



[This message has been edited by Sobol (edited 06-28-2004).]

^You can use/smoke/drink tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine. You can only look at porn if you're not married or if your spouse agrees.

cool, im converting

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

I'm breaking off from Catholiscisim and creating a new religion called Purus which means pure in latin.

kmmmgh! I'm um(snicker) very interested in joining your religion(snicker).

quote:The Six Purus Laws:

1) You shall not kill or hurt anyone unless you are threatened or hurt by that person

Hey, a guy flicked my ear today, sooo, can I go kill him?

quote:2) You shall not steal

Dude, I really want to. Can I receive stolen goods?

quote:3) You shall not commit adultery

Damn, that's not gonna fly

quote:4) You shall not curse gods name

Jesus-pickfucking-Christ! I have to change everything for this religion

quote:5) You shall not worship idols

Does the American Idol count? I adore Fantasia

quote:6) You shall make courts of justice to enforce the other 5 laws

Sooo....overthrow the Supreme Court. Gotcha

quote:Purus beliefs:

- You will go to hell if you not follow any of the Six Purus Laws

- Jesus is God's son

- There is only one God

So don't worship Jesus, right Boss.

quote:- Miracles don't happen: God gives you power to change the world

- Sunday is the sabbath day

What does the Sabbath entail? You need to elaborate on your religion, since you're pretty much starting from scratch

quote:Originally posted by Jasper Jones:



Hey, a guy flicked my ear today, sooo, can I go kill him?

No, since he didn't do serious harm yo you

quote:



Dude I really want to[steal]. Can I recieve stolen goods?

If you know its stolen then no. But remember the loophole-- you can ask for forgiveness from a Priest and you shall recieve it after you do a certain amount of penance.

quote:



Does the American Idol count? I adore Fantasia

HAHA thanks for the laugh. As long as you don't worship her.

quote:



Sooo....overthrow the Supreme Court. Gotcha

Well, since we can't do that the person would have to serve penance or be declared a heretic

Why Sunday?

^because Purusisim is still a Christian religion and every Christian religions sabbath day is Sunday.

ok, so heres how it is, ive sinned like a mexican in a whore house, and, your telling me that i can go to heven if i kick the shit out of a preist till he "forgives" me.. RIGHT! im in... do i get a badge?

^hahaha no, just go to your local priest and ask for forgiveness, you don't have to beat the shit out of him (since there is only one Purus priest so far you can ask for forgiveness from a catholic priest or a protestant minister). Or if you want to you can tell me how you have sinned and the LORD shall forgive you.

hold on, i dont think i get this, i sin all i want, then all i do is TELL you what i did and i goto heven? BWAH! ok im in

You also have to do penence which means something good to replace the bad things.

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

No. When you go to hell you'll stay there for eternity, unless God forgives you and gives you a second chance.

[This message has been edited by Sobol (edited 06-28-2004).]

How can you continue on through the cycle to purity if you get sentenced to damnation for eternity at the first mistake?

My religion, Noahidism, was WAY better than your religion.

Mine left the unknown up for pondering. If there was anything not covered by my 7 basic laws, then it was up to you to decide what was the right and noble action to take.

can i be a preist? ill forgive people for god! oooh! pick me!

^I tried your religion and it didn't help. In fact I went on the internet and I googled Noahide rules and it turned out that the Noahide rules are rules that non-jews are supposed to follow to get to heaven--- atleast thats what the jews think. You just tried to make us Jewish puppets. Your religion is a mistake. I am in the process of making a website for Purusisim and how to ask for forgiveness from the LORD and all the Purus laws and beliefs. When its finnished I'll post it up here.

Yet the Noahide rules are similar to the Purus laws so if you follow Rabbi's religion you have a better chance then some other people to getting into heaven.

can i be the version of the pope you have? id like that very much

quote:Originally posted by opc pilot:

can i be a preist? ill forgive people for god! oooh! pick me!

A Priest in Purus has only one purpose-- to lead people in prayer. When I finnish my website everyone will be able to ask forgiveness from the LORD himself. I'll be nice enough to post up here a prayer asking forgiveness from the LORD:

(Before you start always say "I pray to the LORD, Yah, and his son, Jesus")

"Oh merciful LORD, please forgive my wrong doings and sins last week as I forgive those who tresspass against me, and guide me in the future so I could avoid sinning again. AMEN."

If you say this prayer every evening on Sunday you shall be partially forgiven. Than you must serve penance by doing the community you live in good. If you do this every Sunday you are guarenteed to go to heaven.

May God bless you all



[This message has been edited by Sobol (edited 06-29-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by opc pilot:

can i be the version of the pope you have? id like that very much

I am the Purus version of the Pope since I am the Prophet. You will have an important job though. You may be the Head Missionary (under me ofcourse since I'm the Prophet). All missionaries, especially the Head Missionary have a garanteed postition in heaven (unless they're corrupted unknowingly to rest of the Purus followers).

Sleepwalk is a heretic. He is anti-christs emisarry. we must convert him to rid him of anti-christ.

The Purus Religion

The Six Purus Laws:

1) You shall not harm or kill anyone unless you are threatened by that person or you or one of your family members are harmed. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

2) You shall not steal

3) You shall not commit Adultery

4) You shall not use God’s name in vain.

5) You shall not worship idols or other Gods.

6) You shall establish courts or some system of justice to enforce the other five laws.



Hell and Heaven:

People who completely disregard the Six Purus Laws shall go to hell for eternity unless the LORD gives them another chance at life (reincarnation). All people who follow the Purus religion and its laws shall go to heaven. People who followed different religions yet haven’t sinned too much shall go into Limbo until they are cleansed of their sins when they go to heaven.

Forgiveness Prayer:

When you pray for forgiveness you should say this:

“I am praying to the merciful LORD, Yah, his son, Jesus, and their prophet, Alexander.

Oh merciful LORD, please forgive my wrong doings and sins last week as I forgive those who tresspass against me, and guide me in the future so I could avoid sinning again. AMEN."

Priests:

Priests only act as prayer and mass leaders since they have no other use since everyone can communicate to the LORD.

General Belief:

The LORD’s name is Yah, his son’s name is Jesus, and their prophet’s name is Alexander. All three of them are blessed and holy and you mustn’t use their name in vain for than you shall almost certainly go to hell.

General Sign:

A bible on fire and a cross rising out of it.



Now to all the infidels reading this I advise you to convert.

[sp0rkius]

Do we have to believe anything?

^what do you mean?

[sp0rkius]

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

^what do you mean?

e.g. Jesus is the son of God, a mysterious spirit controls the universe, my left hand is picking up microwave signals from the body of John Henry Bonham, that sort of somthing.

you can believe in different denominations of Purus or just dont believe at all

Sorry to break this to you, but I was just talking to God on AIM, he said you were being a real dick and you were pissing him off. Here, I'll just let you read what he said.

JJdaPimp: Whassup G-O-D!

God420: Whassup my nigga

JJdaPimp: yo check this out, some fool says he's starting a new religion

JJdaPimp: http:../bbs/forum15/html/002726.html

God420: Whaaa?

JJdaPimp: Yeah man, bs huh?

God420: Man, this is bullshit man

JJdaPimp: Yeah I know right

God420: Dude, I just woke up, I didn't even tell him that

JJdaPimp: I hear ya man

God420: Damn holmes, I gotta tell you about this honey I met a few weeks ago, she had this black curly hair, fatass, tight virgin pussy, man I had dat, and it was good

JJdaPimp: Dude, that was 2000 years ago man

God420: Right sorry, time just squeezes together after living so long

JJdaPimp: Anyway

God420: yeah, back on topic

JJdaPimp: so

God420: were you gonna say something

JJdaPimp: Nah, go ahead

God420: Yeah, so this Sobol guy, you know him?

JJdaPimp: Nah man

God420: So you couldn't tell me his most private fears

JJdaPimp: Sorry

God420: Damn, I'm gonna have to find some way to smite this hubrising motherfucker

JJdaPimp: is "hubrising" a word

God420: It is now

JJdaPimp: right

God420: Yeah, you know, maybe I did tell that guy to make his religion

JJdaPimp: really

God420: yeah man, I was preeettty toasted last night

JJdaPimp: Oh yeah

God420: yeah man, smokin L's all night wit da angels and shit, drinkin 40's, took some pills, I don't know what they were, Angel of Babylon got them from some dude in Frisco

JJdaPimp: What was the A of B doing in Cali?

God420: gettin my pills motherfucker

JJdaPimp: I didn't know that was his job

God420: it is if I say it is

God420: aight?

JJdaPimp: yeah man, that's cool, just saying

God420: Saying what?

JJdaPimp: well

God420: What?

JJdaPimp: nothing man, let's drop it

God420: cool

JJdaPimp: so

God420: so

JJdaPimp: hey cool, we said it at the same time

God420: sweet

JJdaPimp: yeah, this umm, Sobol guy, what do you want me to tell him

God420: you know, I was thinking, I don't think I'd be dumb enought to invent another religion, I learned my lesson with those fucking mormons

JJdaPimp: haha, oh yeah

God420: You know, I still can't remember that week when I was talking to Smith

JJdaPimp: It's for the best

God420: Anyway, tell that bitch I'm pretty pissed, and if he doesn't knock it off, I'll smite his bitch ass back to Garden of Eden!

JJdaPimp: Say it don't spray it, damn, watch your wrath

God420: Aight nigga, I gotta be movin on

God420: Peace!

JJdaPimp: Peace!

[God420 signed off at 20:14:34]





Yeah, so knock it off man

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

^I tried your religion and it didn't help. In fact I went on the internet and I googled Noahide rules and it turned out that the Noahide rules are rules that non-jews are supposed to follow to get to heaven--- atleast thats what the jews think. You just tried to make us Jewish puppets.

I BASED them on the Noahide rules. They are not the Noahide rules in and of themselves.

Every rule in my religion is geared to make it easier to get through life, and to avoid prison.

quote:Your religion is a mistake. I am in the process of making a website for Purusisim and how to ask for forgiveness from the LORD and all the Purus laws and beliefs. When its finnished I'll post it up here.

I like my religion more. You don't need to ask forgiveness, because you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Nevertheless, I only made up Noahidism for kicks. I never really followed it. I've become a lot more interested in Asatru as of late.

How did you come about this religon? I came across mine in a vision. Did you just make it up at the top of your head or did it gradually appear into your world.

quote:Originally posted by Jasper Jones:

Sorry to break this to you, but I was just talking to God on AIM, he said you were being a real dick and you were pissing him off. Here, I'll just let you read what he said.

JJdaPimp: Whassup G-O-D!

God420: Whassup my nigga

JJdaPimp: yo check this out, some fool says he's starting a new religion

JJdaPimp: http:../bbs/forum15/html/002726.html

God420: Whaaa?

JJdaPimp: Yeah man, bs huh?

God420: Man, this is bullshit man

JJdaPimp: Yeah I know right

God420: Dude, I just woke up, I didn't even tell him that

JJdaPimp: I hear ya man

God420: Damn holmes, I gotta tell you about this honey I met a few weeks ago, she had this black curly hair, fatass, tight virgin pussy, man I had dat, and it was good

JJdaPimp: Dude, that was 2000 years ago man

God420: Right sorry, time just squeezes together after living so long

JJdaPimp: Anyway

God420: yeah, back on topic

JJdaPimp: so

God420: were you gonna say something

JJdaPimp: Nah, go ahead

God420: Yeah, so this Sobol guy, you know him?

JJdaPimp: Nah man

God420: So you couldn't tell me his most private fears

JJdaPimp: Sorry

God420: Damn, I'm gonna have to find some way to smite this hubrising motherfucker

JJdaPimp: is "hubrising" a word

God420: It is now

JJdaPimp: right

God420: Yeah, you know, maybe I did tell that guy to make his religion

JJdaPimp: really

God420: yeah man, I was preeettty toasted last night

JJdaPimp: Oh yeah

God420: yeah man, smokin L's all night wit da angels and shit, drinkin 40's, took some pills, I don't know what they were, Angel of Babylon got them from some dude in Frisco

JJdaPimp: What was the A of B doing in Cali?

God420: gettin my pills motherfucker

JJdaPimp: I didn't know that was his job

God420: it is if I say it is

God420: aight?

JJdaPimp: yeah man, that's cool, just saying

God420: Saying what?

JJdaPimp: well

God420: What?

JJdaPimp: nothing man, let's drop it

God420: cool

JJdaPimp: so

God420: so

JJdaPimp: hey cool, we said it at the same time

God420: sweet

JJdaPimp: yeah, this umm, Sobol guy, what do you want me to tell him

God420: you know, I was thinking, I don't think I'd be dumb enought to invent another religion, I learned my lesson with those fucking mormons

JJdaPimp: haha, oh yeah

God420: You know, I still can't remember that week when I was talking to Smith

JJdaPimp: It's for the best

God420: Anyway, tell that bitch I'm pretty pissed, and if he doesn't knock it off, I'll smite his bitch ass back to Garden of Eden!

JJdaPimp: Say it don't spray it, damn, watch your wrath

God420: Aight nigga, I gotta be movin on

God420: Peace!

JJdaPimp: Peace!

[God420 signed off at 20:14:34]





Yeah, so knock it off man

You wiggars are cool. That isn't God though (lol thanks for the good laugh though)

quote:Originally posted by sss3d:

How did you come about this religon? I came across mine in a vision. Did you just make it up at the top of your head or did it gradually appear into your world.

My religion came in a number of dreams and in just plain reasoning when I was thinking about various topics.

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

You wiggars are cool. That isn't God though (lol thanks for the good laugh though)

Wiggers? Now what makes you think God was white? If your religion makes you worship a white god I'm outta here.

I'm not black, I just think a black God would be cooler.

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:



My religion came in a number of dreams and in just plain reasoning when I was thinking about various topics.

Can you please describe it more. Go read my topic on my religon.

Sometimes I wonder if all these things that happen is really because of religon, or coincidence.

i hope you guys know that im not the messiah or the prophet so dont pray to me

Oh dont worry mate I'm not about to make that mistake.

But seeing as your enlightened enough to suscribe a religion that dictates how people live their lives, a few questions may be in order.

First. What makes your religion different from thousands of others? Seriously those rules are very generic. And basically you've just streamlined the bible into the bits that people remember anyway.

Second. What gives you the authority to create yet another christianity offshoot? Most prophets at least claim to be engaged in some serious negotiation with the big guy.

Jasper Jones has given us more evidence than you so far.

Third. Is the bible in anyway relevent to you guys? If so then how can you possibly discredit all of the things that arent in your basic rules so far. If not then you better get started on your Holy Book sharpish.

And Finally. Why?

Why mustn't I worship idols?

Why would I be sent to hell?

For what reason would this "god" want anything to do with me in this life or the next?

I'm sorry if I went overboard, but I've been waiting so long for the opportunity to grill a bona fide prophet.

[Duck]

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

I'm breaking off from Catholiscisim and creating a new religion called Purus which means pure in latin.

The Six Purus Laws:

1) You shall not kill or hurt anyone unless you are threatened or hurt by that person

2) You shall not steal

3) You shall not commit adultery

4) You shall not curse gods name

5) You shall not worship idols

6) You shall make courts of justice to inforce the other 5 laws

Purus beliefs:

- You will go to hell if you not follow any of the Six Purus Laws

- Jesus is God's son

- There is only one God

- Miracles don't happen: God gives you power to change the world

- Sunday is the sabbath day

if you have any questions about the Purus religion ask me

tell me if you want to join



[This message has been edited by Sobol (edited 06-28-2004).]

yeah, I got a question. Why should I beleve this crap? Your first law just makes you as bad as your oppressor, your 2nd and 6th laws cancle out(Taxes are stealing, and withot tax you can't create a court), you do not have any punishment for adultry on your 3rd law, unless you go with the bible and stone them, which would violate your first law, and the same applies to your fourth and fifth laws. Instead you should obey the two laws of Duck:

1st: you shall become an atheist and blow off all of the thesist crap you were force-fed as a kid, and

2nd: you shall live your life by the laws of courtesy to avoid bloodshead(except in cases of duels) and have no need for a government.

which are clearly much better because you have free will and prosperity and happyness and, best of all, a lack of christians pissing me off with there crap.

just out of curiosity, what happens to the virtuous nonbelievers, like me? ^_^

You know, those ppl who do not follow this faith, nor any of its predicessors (sp?), and yet live virtuous lives trying to better themselves and humanity? Those who may be involved in faiths such as buddhism, hinduism, Shintoism, or neopaganism?

quote:Originally posted by Jasper Jones:

Wiggers? Now what makes you think God was white? If your religion makes you worship a white god I'm outta here.

I'm not black, I just think a black God would be cooler.

I dunno, that bloke that played God in Bruce Almighty wasn't real cool. Maybe if it was Samuel L. Jackson.

With his big ass .50 from Pulp Fiction?