totse.com | Holy message

Sleepwalk · #1 2004-06-28, 10:47

God spoke to me last night.It was very enlightening.He said Digital savior is a prophet and that thou shalt him believeth..

God also told me to build this huge spaceship in which all the true believers would be taken to heaven.

So please send me your money.For just 1 dollar you can secure your position among the chosen ones.

Of course more money means more benefits..

For 10 dollars you get a business class seat with a great scenery.

For merely 100 dollars you also get the bible personally autographed by god...

and that's not all..

For 1000 dollars you also get a neon green t-shirt with the the text:I AM A BORN IDIOT

Gustave · #2 2004-06-28, 11:20

Can I get all four?

Sleepwalk · #3 2004-06-28, 11:38

Sure...

And because you are my first customer and I'm such a fair friend I'll even give you some discount..

That'll be 1050$ Thank you...

Gustave · #4 2004-06-28, 11:46

Damn, I feel sooooo special!

Hehe, I've got no idea what you're trying to show us, but I just got a crazy-cool t-shirt!!

EDiT: Oh, can I get that t-shirt saying "I'm a born-AGAIN idiot?".

[This message has been edited by Gustave (edited 06-28-2004).]

Sleepwalk · #5 2004-06-28, 12:21

Oh!!But I'm not trying to show anything...

It's just that after my discussion with god I have had this strong godly burning to save the true believers...

And for 1050$..You can have whatever text you want..

---Beany--- · #6 2004-06-28, 12:32

Mod!!

Cougar · #7 2004-06-28, 20:00

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by ---Beany---:

Mod!!

no, he said god talked to him, not mod.

oh, and i'll have two t-shirts (one for each half of my brain)

Cougar

Sleepwalk · #8 2004-06-28, 21:06

Hallelujah Gustave and Cougar...

The rest of you may have to go to hell.

I have to consult god first of course...

Aphelion Corona · #9 2004-06-28, 21:51

Pretending to be a prophet is punishable by death.

I just wanted you to know that.

(and I am deadly serious, which is ironic

)

Sobol · #10 2004-06-28, 22:08

Hes a scam (no duh)! Yet I'm real. convert to Purusisim and when I get my website finnished you will be able to ask for forgiveness from the LORD all by yourself without a middleman (like a priest). http:../bbs/forum15/html/002726.html

Cougar · #11 2004-06-28, 22:35

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

Hes a scam (no duh)! Yet I'm real. convert to Purusisim and when I get my website finnished you will be able to ask for forgiveness from the LORD all by yourself without a middleman (like a priest). http:../bbs/forum15/html/002726.html

do you have a flashy spaceship? t-shirts? no?

sorry, i'll stick to Sleepwalk then

(hey Sleepwalk, do i get to see the cockpit? pleeeeeeeeeeeease?)

oh, by the way, do i need a visa to pass the klingon sector?

Cougar

Sleepwalk · #12 2004-06-28, 22:42

WTF???Are you insinuating that my bibles autographed by god are not real???

You heretic...

Send me money and plead forgiveness...

Sobol · #13 2004-06-28, 23:10

Don't say more for you might rot in hell for insulting the prophet Alexander!

Cougar · #14 2004-06-28, 23:23

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sleepwalk:

WTF???Are you insinuating that my bibles autographed by god are not real???

You heretic...

Send me money and plead forgiveness...

who? me? i already sent those 2000$!

but ok *sends more money*

do i get forgiveness now?

Cougar

*quite insecure about his spiritual health*

Sobol · #15 2004-06-28, 23:26

Cougar! NOOOOOO! Sleepwalk is the emisarry of Anti-Christ! Don't send him money! You are doomed to hell now if you don't convert to Purusisism and pray every night for the next year the forgiveness prayer.

Sleepwalk · #16 2004-06-28, 23:29

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

Cougar! NOOOOOO! Sleepwalk is the emisarry of Anti-Christ! Don't send him money! You are doomed to hell now if you don't convert to Purusisism and pray every night for the next year the forgiveness prayer.

No...Cougar will be pilot of the spaceship thanks to his faithfull devotion.

And this alexander demon of yours...well i think he'll may have to go hell too.Of course i have to consult god about that..

Sobol · #17 2004-06-28, 23:34

I AM THE PROPHET ALEXANDER! SUBMIT TO THE LORD, YAH, HIS SON, JESUS, AND ME OR BE DOOMED TO BURN IN HELL WITH SATAN FOR ETERNITY!

Cougar · #18 2004-06-28, 23:46

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sleepwalk:

No...Cougar will be pilot of the spaceship thanks to his faithfull devotion.

And this alexander demon of yours...well i think he'll may have to go hell too.Of course i have to consult god about that..

yeah! *steps into the cockpit...* what is this button for? *pushes button*

AUTO DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED

SET TIME:

errm... Sleepwalk? hello?

[This message has been edited by Cougar (edited 06-28-2004).]

Sleepwalk · #19 2004-06-28, 23:50

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

I AM THE PROPHET ALEXANDER! SUBMIT TO THE LORD, YAH, HIS SON, JESUS, AND ME OR BE DOOMED TO BURN IN HELL WITH SATAN FOR ETERNITY!

Oh!!so YOU are alexander...

I didn't see that name in the official holy book of prophets written by god so I thought alexander was some idiot or whatever..

Anyway I can sell you a copy of official holy book of prophets,naturally autographed by god, for meager price of 1000$

You can learn the true prophets from it.

And besides you'd have something to read while in hell..

Sobol · #20 2004-06-28, 23:52

^haha thats a good one! but im not goin to hell

Sleepwalk · #21 2004-06-28, 23:58

[quote]Originally posted by Cougar:

[b] yeah! *steps into the cockpit...* what is this button for? *pushes button*

AUTO DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED

SET TIME:

errm... Sleepwalk? hello?

Cougar!!!Are you trying to kill gustave?Shame on you..

*pushes the other button*

AUTO DESTRUCT SEQUENCE TERMINATED

Cougar · #22 2004-06-29, 00:08

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sleepwalk:

Cougar!!!Are you trying to kill gustave?Shame on you..

*pushes the other button*

AUTO DESTRUCT SEQUENCE TERMINATED

*looks up from flight manual* no sir! just... an accident. by the way, where is Gustave? he should get me a cup of coffee!

i will fall asleep if i don't get my proper amount of caffeine! no sleep, please! shapes, sounds... i can't... no, help! eyes! everywhere! please, just some caffeine

don't let me go to sleep! *whispering* i beg you...

Sobol · #23 2004-06-29, 00:18

*Alex comes up whips out his .45 and shoots the aircraft controls not knowing that there are two identical pairs of controls* My crusade is finnished!

Sleepwalk · #24 2004-06-29, 00:18

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sobol:

^haha thats a good one! but im not goin to hell

of%20course%20not..don't be afraid.You will send me money,let god save your soul,be cougars steward and we'll forget about your false prophesies...

Cougar · #25 2004-06-29, 00:23

C A F F E I N E !!!

(ahm Sleepwalk, how about some women aboard? you know, preserving the human species

)

Sleepwalk · #26 2004-06-29, 00:52

Well,that's kind of the reason for the spaceship.God told me that human species deserves destruction so the true believers will have to build a spaceship and with the huge income god has had today we are naturally provided sex,drugs and rock'n roll

Cougar · #27 2004-06-30, 18:32

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Sleepwalk:

Well,that's kind of the reason for the spaceship.God told me that human species deserves destruction so the true believers will have to build a spaceship and with the huge income god has had today we are naturally provided sex,drugs and rock'n roll

i'll have a busty brunette, pepsi iv and... who cares about rock n roll with that brunette?

oh, maybe you could arrange for some redhead aswell, just in case...