totse.com | Did Jesus drink coffee?

Jesus · #2 2004-06-15, 09:02

I don't like coffee. Not many people think about it, but caffine is a drug (no point, just informing you).

Lucky · #3 2004-06-15, 16:20

Why would he he could make wine out of water. If I was jesus I wouldnt be sober for longer than 5 minutes at a time.

sp0rkius · #5 2004-06-15, 21:51

I like coffee, in fact I think I may be a caffiene addict. I'm not Jesus though. Not much help there.

I'm sure Jesus could turn water into coffee if he wanted, and it'd help him sober up for formal occasions like resurrections and things.

Rust · #6 2004-06-16, 00:01

Some African tribes ate the beans around 600 AD, which is when it is thought coffee was "discovered". There aren't any historical records predating that, so it's pretty much safe to say that Jesus didn't drink coffee.

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Roostergougingureyesout · #7 2004-06-16, 00:31

Look at all the accounts of things that he supposedly did, he must have had coffee to be energized enough to make his rounds at the speed he did. I like imaginging Jesus on a caffine high, heh. Just think, if Jesus was addicted to caffine, do you think its too irrational to believe God rolled a few joints while creating shit, lol, i mean look at the platypus, hell, look at Helen Keller, lol.

Lucky · #8 2004-06-16, 03:03

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Roostergougingureyesout:

Look at all the accounts of things that he supposedly did, he must have had coffee to be energized enough to make his rounds at the speed he did. I like imaginging Jesus on a caffine high, heh. Just think, if Jesus was addicted to caffine, do you think its too irrational to believe God rolled a few joints while creating shit, lol, i mean look at the platypus, hell, look at Helen Keller, lol.

Yah i rember seeing that comdedian too. Said it almost exactly like you did.Some fat guy I think hes Canadian but I forget the name.

Roostergougingureyesout · #9 2004-06-16, 03:22

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Lucky:

Quote:

Originally posted by Roostergougingureyesout:

Look at all the accounts of things that he supposedly did, he must have had coffee to be energized enough to make his rounds at the speed he did. I like imaginging Jesus on a caffine high, heh. Just think, if Jesus was addicted to caffine, do you think its too irrational to believe God rolled a few joints while creating shit, lol, i mean look at the platypus, hell, look at Helen Keller, lol.

Yah i rember seeing that comdedian too. Said it almost exactly like you did.Some fat guy I think hes Canadian but I forget the name.

...

Robin Williams (Live at the Met) (not the new special) He did the "FUCK DARWIN routine. And its not an original idea anyway, so I feel no remorse if I use it in my own dialog.

I added Helen Keller to add to the callousness of the post though, cause its funny to make fun of Helen Keller.

inquisitor_11 · #10 2004-06-16, 15:21

Depends if its Yuppie Jesus or not.