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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
# 1
2004-05-27, 00:46
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Seriously how come miracles only happened when there was no camcorders to tape it. What a fucking jip.
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# 2
2004-05-27, 00:47
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This post coinsides with your handle so well. heh
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# 3
2004-05-27, 00:48
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# 4
2004-05-27, 00:48
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There were no miracles.
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# 5
2004-05-27, 00:49
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miracles? lies aren't miracles
i saw a magician on tv lift himself in the air if there is a god it's that guy (i forget his name)
fuck jesus
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# 6
2004-05-27, 00:50
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oh yeah go read the christ conspiracy
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# 7
2004-05-27, 00:59
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bcuz if jesus lived know do you really think he'd b good? u do nething back then, you die. theres your insentive. in the old testament, they stoned this guy to death bcuz he gathered wood for his fire to cook his lunch ( working on a sabbeth). really, what insentive do we have to be good?
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# 8
2004-05-27, 01:02
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by mentor:
miracles? lies aren't miracles
i saw a magician on tv lift himself in the air if there is a god it's that guy (i forget his name)
fuck jesus
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Dude thats not a miracle man,its pixy dust,dont you know anything idiot!
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# 9
2004-05-27, 01:06
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Frank Castle The Punisher:
Dude thats not a miracle man,its pixy dust,dont you know anything idiot!
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whats pixy dust explain please
and anyway i wasn't saying that the guy is a miracleworker just trying to prove that walking on water aint no big deal and that magicians can do cooler shit
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# 10
2004-05-27, 01:07
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It's about faith, isn't it?
Anyway, I was guilty myself of using "gyp" - not "jip" - to describe a type of con or swindle, but it's a colloquialism, and ethnically insensitive. Though I don't believe I've ever met a gypsy.
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# 11
2004-05-27, 01:10
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Diao:
It's about faith, isn't it?
Anyway, I was guilty myself of using "gyp" - not "jip" - to describe a type of con or swindle, but it's a colloquialism, and ethnically insensitive. Though I don't believe I've ever met a gypsy.
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i used to hand around with gypsies they're nuts that's all i got to say
oh yeah they pulled a shotgun at me cause i stepped on one of their blankets with my shoes on jeez they had like a thousand blankets
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# 12
2004-05-27, 01:33
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:
Seriously how come miracles only happened when there was no camcorders to tape it. What a fucking jip.
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Here's a list of why I agree:
Noah's Ark
Splitting of the Sea
The Dissapearance of Jesus Christ (PIMP)
The Plaques (in the jewish religion)
The Burning Bush
All of the Appearances of GOD
Slaying of the First Born
The Ten Commandments
The Tower of Babbel
And many, many more reasons
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# 13
2004-05-27, 01:37
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:
Seriously how come miracles only happened when there was no camcorders to tape it. What a fucking jip.
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Because you touch yourself at night.
PS Family Guy is awesome!
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# 14
2004-05-27, 01:39
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Regular
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My mommas uterus.
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Jesus Christ Stanton?
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#15
2004-05-27, 01:43 |
Das Gorilla 
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 Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Snooopy is bigger than Jesus.
<insert picture of snoopy walking on water>
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# 16
2004-05-27, 01:43
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by mentor:
miracles? lies aren't miracles
i saw a magician on tv lift himself in the air if there is a god it's that guy (i forget his name)
fuck jesus
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David Blain, and he's just a very good magician....twah....
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# 17
2004-05-27, 02:06
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They explain it all in "SouthPark" Jesus & the Super-friends episode. You have to do your homework if you want to discuss deep theological material!
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# 18
2004-05-27, 02:20
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Twah.....
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# 19
2004-05-27, 02:24
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Regular
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Shirley, New York, USA
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Super best fools!
Twah
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# 20
2004-05-27, 02:25
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by theartist:
They explain it all in "SouthPark" Jesus & the Super-friends episode. You have to do your homework if you want to discuss deep theological material!
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I don't.
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# 21
2004-05-27, 02:33
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by harrisonsapper:
The Plaques (in the jewish religion)
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I don't think having tightly bound gunk on your teeth is a miracle. Do you?
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# 22
2004-05-27, 04:01
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Regular
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New Jersey
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:
Seriously how come miracles only happened when there was no camcorders to tape it. What a fucking jip.
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Because you touch yourself at night
Edit-Wow I didn't notice somebody already said that lol
[This message has been edited by moss2455 (edited 05-29-2004).]
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# 23
2004-05-27, 04:30
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Didn't Jesus live 2004 years ago?
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# 24
2004-05-27, 04:48
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Regular
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HMAS: Nathan rees
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by muffin_man:
This post coinsides with your handle so well. heh
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FUCKING OWNED BITCH!!!
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# 25
2004-05-27, 04:48
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Err.....maybe.
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# 26
2004-05-27, 09:38
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Regular
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Charleston, West Virginia
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Ever wake up in the morning? Miracle enough for me.
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# 27
2004-05-27, 10:24
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Jesus is overrated, what about the other religions? People act like they never existed at all. There are more religions out there, and they actually make much more sense than a guy walking on water that likes to wear sandals.
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# 28
2004-05-27, 10:29
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:
Jesus is overrated, what about the other religions? People act like they never existed at all. There are more religions out there, and they actually make much more sense than a guy walking on water that likes to wear sandals.
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Really? Which ones???
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# 29
2004-05-27, 10:32
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Regular
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seattle washington usa
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fuck jesus
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# 30
2004-05-27, 11:14
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by theartist:
Really? Which ones???
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Here's an example, what about the Egyptian religon? Or the the gods the Greeks believed in? What about Odin and the time of Ragnarok? This world today thinks only God and maybe, JUST MAYBE Satan exists. This world is all shit. Close-minded, one-thought-at-at-a-time, STD carring, world you call home.
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# 31
2004-05-27, 11:17
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:
Here's an example, what about the Egyptian religon? Or the the gods the Greeks believed in? What about Odin and the time of Ragnarok? This world today thinks only God and maybe, JUST MAYBE Satan exists. This world is all shit. Close-minded, one-thought-at-at-a-time, STD carring, world you call home.
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Yhea! but all those Gods were fiction, made up; You believe in "SATAN"? Really???
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# 32
2004-05-27, 11:26
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by theartist:
Yhea! but all those Gods were fiction, made up; You believe in "SATAN"? Really???
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What makes you think they were made up? And because of your little god, so called Satan exists. I surley belive the situation of Ragnarok more than some stupid book called 'The Bible'. It's all just little baby fairy tales ment to put the mentally disabled to sleep. Your religion is so original, you call your god 'God'. You call your bible 'The Bible', and your priest rape little boys. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in a religion that is so good and holy but it's okay to rape children and scare people into believing in your ways by making up Satan. If I don't believe in God, I'll go to Hell and burn forever! AH! How do you know Hell is bad? If someone went to Hell they just problably become part of Satan's army, not some little torture for eternaty. You say every religion is made up? There are so many people that say your religion is made up. Trust me, other religions have more going and more proof than just a stupid book that some town drunk wrote when he was drunk out of his mind.
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# 33
2004-05-27, 11:35
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:
Your religion is so original, you call your god 'God'. You call your bible 'The Bible', and your priest rape little boys.
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This alone makes me have zero respect for you. It's not a priest being catholic that makes him rape little boys its the priest himself. There are quite well documented cases of sexual abuse in many other religions.
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# 34
2004-05-27, 11:40
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by reefguy:
This alone makes me have zero respect for you. It's not a priest being catholic that makes him rape little boys its the priest himself. There are quite well documented cases of sexual abuse in many other religions.
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Yes, I know but that wasn't my point. I was just showing another flaw in the religion. I'm not saying Jesus or God sucks or anything. Hell, I don't even know them. All I'm saying is there is more religions out there. Jesus and God are not the only ones you know.
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# 35
2004-05-27, 11:40
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:
What makes you think they were made up? And because of your little god, so called Satan exists. I surley belive the situation of Ragnarok more than some stupid book called 'The Bible'. It's all just little baby fairy tales ment to put the mentally disabled to sleep. Your religion is so original, you call your god 'God'. You call your bible 'The Bible', and your priest rape little boys. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in a religion that is so good and holy but it's okay to rape children and scare people into believing in your ways by making up Satan. If I don't believe in God, I'll go to Hell and burn forever! AH! How do you know Hell is bad? If someone went to Hell they just problably become part of Satan's army, not some little torture for eternaty. You say every religion is made up? There are so many people that say your religion is made up. Trust me, other religions have more going and more proof than just a stupid book that some town drunk wrote when he was drunk out of his mind.
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Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I never said my God was "SATAN" Learn to read my boy! Go back and read what I said and then we'll discuss religion!
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# 36
2004-05-27, 11:47
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by theartist:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I never said my God was "SATAN" Learn to read my boy! Go back and read what I said and then we'll discuss religion!
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I never said God WAS Satan, God created Satan. Doesn't it say that God exiled Satan from Heaven? I mean, it's in your little book called 'The Bible', go read that part. 
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#37
2004-05-27, 11:50 |
Das Gorilla
Regular
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Jesus was a n00b.
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# 38
2004-05-27, 11:54
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Das Gorilla:
Jesus was a n00b.
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Hahaha!
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# 39
2004-05-27, 13:05
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wait wait wait god doesn't exist
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# 40
2004-05-27, 14:10
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Das Gorilla:
Jesus was a n00b.
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j00 pwn3d j3sus.
Get it? j00? Cause j00 is 1337 for you, and j00 also sounds like jew. And jews pwned jesus!
Yeah, its 6:15 and i havnt gotten any sleep...
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# 41
2004-05-27, 23:13
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greek religion wasn't fiction you idiots
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#42
2004-05-27, 23:31 |
chuckNrambo
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by Das Gorilla:
Snooopy is bigger than Jesus.
<insert picture of snoopy walking on water>
nah snoopy is too cool for water
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#43
2004-05-27, 23:45 |
ObakeYatsu
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by chuckNrambo:
nah snoopy is too cool for water
Not too cool for it. Dogs just hate water.
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#44
2004-05-28, 00:59 |
flesh_wound
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Jesus was most likely in a coma or something. The whole thing was taken out of context and written by some borderline-retarded shit weasel.
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#45
2004-05-28, 01:07 |
Zonko
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Because becak then Opium was socially acceptable
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#46
2004-05-29, 01:12 |
johnthemunster
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
THERE ARE MIRACLES ON TAPE. U JUST HAVENT LOOKED. MAYBE NOT WITH JESUS, BUT OTHER PASTORS AND SHIT HAVE TAPES WHERE PEOPLE ARE FUCKIN WALK IN A WEELCHAIR AND THEN THE PASTOR PRAYS FOR THEM, AND THEN THEY STAND UP AND WALK. I DONT NO IF THEYRE JUST FAKIN IT, BUT IT LOOKS FUCKIN REAL LOL.
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#47
2004-05-29, 01:27 |
vermont
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
all your dignity are belonging to us
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#48
2004-05-29, 01:28 |
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Moderator
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The Cahulawassee River
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by johnthemunster:
THERE ARE MIRACLES ON TAPE. U JUST HAVENT LOOKED. MAYBE NOT WITH JESUS, BUT OTHER PASTORS AND SHIT HAVE TAPES WHERE PEOPLE ARE FUCKIN WALK IN A WEELCHAIR AND THEN THE PASTOR PRAYS FOR THEM, AND THEN THEY STAND UP AND WALK. I DONT NO IF THEYRE JUST FAKIN IT, BUT IT LOOKS FUCKIN REAL LOL.
Do you believe everything you see on TV? And turn off the caps, fuckhead.
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#49
2004-05-29, 01:43 |
Gustave
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
<A HREF="http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/jesusSnap.jpg">http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/jesusSnap.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/jesusSnap.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A>
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#50
2004-05-29, 02:06 |
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
The fuck? Jesus isn't white, he's a negro. He'll pwn your ass in prison.
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#51
2004-05-29, 02:06 |
Gustave
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:
The fuck? Jesus isn't white, he's a negro. He'll pwn your ass in prison.
Don't blame Jesus, blame Jebus.
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#52
2004-05-29, 02:12 |
siodojo
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
god rocks my socks!!!!!
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#53
2004-05-29, 02:14 |
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
God roxxorz my boxxorz.
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#54
2004-05-29, 02:20 |
Tubbo
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Hey kids.
Don't mean to insult anyone here, yet i know that no matter what i do im bound to be called a fuckhead, dick, or random vulgar term. AS for the religous discussion, despite what you say I will always believe that Jesus came to earth, the son of GOd, and tryed to show the people on earth how to live better. You can believe whatever you want. And another thing, if the bible was written by some drunk, why would so manyh people know aout it and believe in it? we're not naive, we're trying to live as better people, if it turns out that we get to have eternal happiness and you dont, we did the right thing, if we dont, we still lived good lives. And one more thing, someone told me that after people like moses had these big visions and conversations with God, everyone took a different perspective on this. When you look at a lot of religons, there is a main God, and a human savior, like jesus. However, what you do is still your desicion.
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#55
2004-05-29, 02:26 |
mentor
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
isn't this in the wrong forum?
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#56
2004-05-29, 02:31 |
siodojo
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
yeah i think it is. anyway god and jesus , even if you don't believe in them, represent the way people should interact with each other to improve the world. so it's not a real not real thing it's a positive way of life. anyway thats my idea of the subject.
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#57
2004-05-29, 02:47 |
Tubbo
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
Ya, maybe we were supposed to be talking about why jesus lived 2000 years ago...oh well, and for anyone that wa in the ugly fish "god" convo, its 100% bullshit. live better lives people.
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#58
2004-05-29, 02:52 |
LordJugz
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
It would be a miracle if you could post in the right forum.
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#59
2004-05-30, 17:16 |
xtreem5150ahm
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by mentor:
and anyway i wasn't saying that the guy is a miracleworker just trying to prove that walking on water aint no big deal and that magicians can do cooler shit
if you think that Christ walking on water "ain't no big deal" ask a couple of famous magicians... Andre' Kole and David Copperfield. You've prabably heard of David but Andre' was David's mentor and has invented hundreds of illusions. Andre' is a Christian and David is Jewish. They have had a discussion as to whether they felt that the miracles could have been magic tricks or not. the conclusion that these 2 very accomplished illusionist came to was that it could not be done without literly tons of equipment and LOTS of helpers.
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#60
2004-05-30, 18:21 |
xtreem5150ahm
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:
It's all just little baby fairy tales ment to put the mentally disabled to sleep.
Mentally disabled...HA...coincider this guy..
Dr. Arthur Ernest Wilder-Smith http://www.thewordfortoday.org/wildersmith_nav.html
these realaudio clips are pretty long..the one i listened to was about 45 minutes, but if you even listen for 10 minutes or so you will realize that he is far from mentally disabled, nor will you feel that he is a brain-washed idiot, as i've seen christians called in totse forums and elsewhere.
also coincider the clergy itself. they had to go to seminary (religeous college) where they not only learn the bible and (that particular church's) doctrine, but they also learn: language (greek, aramaic,hebrew), history, philosophy, writing and speaking. All the pastors, ministers and priests that i have met ALL have had a zeal and passion for what they do..especially the older ones. which says to me that they really believe in what they are teaching.
quote:
and your priest rape little boys. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in a religion that is so good and holy but it's okay to rape children
I am not saying that it is ok to rape anyone, but what is "good"? who defined it?
if there is no God then nothing matters. and if nothing matters, then there really is no "good" or "bad".
quote:
and scare people into believing in your ways by making up Satan.
Where is your proof that religion made up satan and that the intention of the invention was to scare people into submission.
quote:
If I don't believe in God, I'll go to Hell and burn forever! AH! How do you know Hell is bad? If someone went to Hell they just problably become part of Satan's army, not some little torture for eternaty. You say every religion is made up? There are so many people that say your religion is made up. Trust me, other religions have more going and more proof than just a stupid book that some town drunk wrote when he was drunk out of his mind.
Belief in God is not enough. Belief that Jesus, Son of God, died and went to hell in our place, and that He rose from death and the grave and returned to His Father is what will keep someone from an eternity in hell.
As to the "satans army" part, the army will not be forever, only until all things are fulfilled, after that, ALL that are not redeemed, will suffer for eternity.
"Wrote by the town drunk"? .. lol good one. Have you ever tried much writing while drunk? If i remember, talking coherantly to anyone that wasnt drunk, was almost a miraclulous feat in itself.
Mantrid posted "Didn't Jesus live 2004 years ago?"
Scholars think that Jesus was born sometime between 7 and 4 BC. and that He lived 30 some years. So the answer is yes, but 2004 years ago He was probably between 8 and 11 years old.
[This message has been edited by xtreem5150ahm (edited 05-30-2004).]
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#61
2004-06-02, 08:04 |
Jesus
Regular
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Re: How come jesus Lived 2000 years ago?
quote:Originally posted by Tubbo:
[B]And another thing, if the bible was written by some drunk, why would so manyh people know aout it and believe in it? we're not naive, we're trying to live as better people, if it turns out that we get to have eternal happiness and you dont, we did the right thing, if we dont, we still lived good lives.[B]
Your argument is called:
Appealing to the Masses
A remarkably common but fallacious form of reasoning is: "It must be true (or good) because everybody believes (or does) it." Mothers understand this as a fallacy; they often counter this argument by asking: "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Of course you wouldn't. What this shows is that just because a lot of people believe something or like something doesn't mean that it is true or good. A lot of people used to believe that the Earth was flat, but that certainly didn't make it so. Similarly, a lot of people used to believe that women should not have the right to vote. Popularity is not a reliable indication either of reality or of value.
You can live a good life without believing in god. And as some priest's have shown you can live a bad life when you believe in god. Your religous belief has nothing to do with how good you are as a person.
Proofisoutthere how many movies and pictures have you seen of dragons? how about gnomes? These are mythical creatures that ancient people believed in just as firmly as they believed in there god's. If you said you talked to a burning bush nowadays people would think you are crazy or that you just set fire to the president. We can disprove things like that nowadays, but how can we diprove something that supposedly happened thousands of years ago?
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