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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add Hobo Joe to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-23, 22:58
Hobo Joe Hobo Joe is offline
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Canada
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Second City did a version of The Lord's Prayer that y'all fag-hating, pro-choice-bashing, holier-than-thou, going-to-church-will-make-me-live-ten-years-longer motherfuckers would probably love!

"Our Father who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name

thy kingdom come

thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those

who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil.

...AND ONE MORE THING...

Help us eliminate homosexuality from the human race, in a way that won't make us look mean.

Grant the women of our faith the serenity to accept the fact that they will never be priests. Never, never in a million years.

Could you make every woman who is pro-choice barren...kind of a nip-it-in-the-bud thing?

Get our priests to stop fondling children, or atleast get the children to quit talking about it.

Could you move Hanukah to another month, so the Cross and Christmas trees don't have to share space with the Star of David and that candle-thingy?

Amen."

I hope when you all die, your God is a bigger fag than Richard Simmons and shoves his cock so hard up your asses that no matter what most righteous pure thoughts you think of to take your mind of the blasphemy taking place, the tears will still roll down from your eyes and then you'll be forced to spend eternity having pre-marital sex with the skankiest of whores.
  #2   Add Oxy-Moron to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-23, 23:02
Oxy-Moron Oxy-Moron is offline
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Not seen one of these before.
  #3   Add The_Rabbi to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-23, 23:43
The_Rabbi The_Rabbi is offline
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Wow, you're so unique.

They must be onto something to rile you up so much. What, are you afraid you're really going to hell or something?
  #4   Add dr_rock to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 00:03
dr_rock dr_rock is offline
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Do u actually know anything Joe?

your just as prejudice as the extremophilic religious followers/leaders your thinking of when you state these extreme views (homophobia/ alterphobia /xenophobia/ differenceaphobia)

Some gays believe in god, some priests are gay... and... wait for it... not all god believers are Christians!!!

Some aren't even Jewish or Islamic

And I don't believe in all powerful/beyond the laws of physics beings but I do RESPECT others choice/need to have something to believe in

  #5   Add NuckingFuts to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 00:20
NuckingFuts NuckingFuts is offline
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fay ar us
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well, dr rock, you have to admit thats pretty funny.
  #6   Add ---Beany--- to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 01:10
---Beany--- ---Beany--- is offline
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It is kinda funny, but it's a waste of space. I find it hard enough to find a decent thread in this forum as it is.
  #7   Add deptstoremook to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 01:48
deptstoremook deptstoremook is offline
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I know a lesbian pastor.

But who cares? To each his own, I asy. I'll debate religion any day of the week, but in the end I usually let people think what the ywant, even if I disagree.
  #8   Add SmokeWhiskey to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 01:53
SmokeWhiskey SmokeWhiskey is offline
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Buttfucking will not produce a child.
  #9   Add Tyrant to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 03:48
Tyrant Tyrant is offline
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the Vinland
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Help us eliminate homosexuality from the human race, in a way that won't make us look mean.

I can't imagine why someone who believed in evolution would want homosexuality around.

Grant the women of our faith the serenity to accept the fact that they will never be priests. Never, never in a million years.

Except that women are priests now.

Could you make every woman who is pro-choice barren...kind of a nip-it-in-the-bud thing?

The after-effects of abortion can actually do that to a woman... serves them right.

Could you move Hanukah to another month, so the Cross and Christmas trees don't have to share space with the Star of David and that candle-thingy?

Christians stopped the whole anti-Semitism thing back in the forties.

I hope when you all die, your God is a bigger fag than Richard Simmons and shoves his cock so hard up your asses that no matter what most righteous pure thoughts you think of to take your mind of the blasphemy taking place, the tears will still roll down from your eyes and then you'll be forced to spend eternity having pre-marital sex with the skankiest of whores.

Sounds a lot like earth, actually.
  #10   Add ---Beany--- to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 04:34
---Beany--- ---Beany--- is offline
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Tea and Crumpets country
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by SmokeWhiskey:

Buttfucking will not produce a child.
Neither will fucking with a johnny on, so what?
  #11   Add Dark_Magneto to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 06:44
Dark_Magneto Dark_Magneto is offline
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Yami no tensai
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by SmokeWhiskey:

Buttfucking will not produce a child.
Neither will blowjobs, but head is still all the rage.

  #12   Add Craftian to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 07:56
Craftian Craftian is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Tyrant:

I can't imagine why someone who believed in evolution would want homosexuality around.
Accepting the theory of evolution doesn't mean you have to want to push the human race into any future.

Quote:
quote:Except that women are priests now.
In some denominations. At the very least, there are no female Catholic priests.

Quote:
quote:The after-effects of abortion can actually do that to a woman... serves them right.
Have you got a cite for that?

And good to see you're tolerant of other's choices...

Quote:
quote:Sounds a lot like earth, actually.
Shit, what Earth are you on? I wish somebody would force me to have premarital sex with skanky whores.
  #13   Add ATypiCalStuDenT to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 11:12
ATypiCalStuDenT ATypiCalStuDenT is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Dark_Magneto:

Neither will blowjobs, but head is still all the rage.

and illegal in singapore.....
  #14   Add theBishop to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 21:01
theBishop theBishop is offline
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I didn't think that was funny at all. Not because I'm a christian, but because it sounded like a 13 year old wrote it. Sorry kid, keep trying.
  #15   Add LostCause to your ignore list  
Old 2004-02-24, 22:55
LostCause LostCause is offline
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Behind the boat house
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Moving to Bitch & Moan.

Cheers,

Lost
 


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