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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1
2003-09-20, 04:27
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I was watching Eddie Lizzard doing his standup on HBO and he was making fun the Greeks I think and he said that they had stupid gods for stupid stuff like "Jeff, the god of biscuits" and "Chris, the god of hairstyles".
It got me thinking during history class and I came up with some of my own:
Bob, the god of ladders.
Steve, the god of dentures.
Jerry, the god of shoelaces.
Pat, the god of toenail clippers.
Jim, the god of staples.
Todd, the god of warm milk.
Terry, the god of beef jerky.
I know it seems pretty stupid if your in a bad mood or something but if you are in an okay mood and you play around with it it's pretty humorous to see what wierd ass, unneeded gods you can come up with.
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# 2
2003-09-20, 04:29
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I am Buddy, the god of pimp ass freaky deaky Manhattan transfers.
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# 3
2003-09-20, 04:30
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cashual21 the god of nachos.
(what's better? besides like pasta, and like steak)
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# 4
2003-09-20, 04:33
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I am seed the god of heroic LSD doses
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# 5
2003-09-20, 04:33
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Moneyboxers, the god of that lightheaded feeling you get when you stand up to fast.
Bow to me. lol.
[This message has been edited by MoneyBoxers14 (edited 09-20-2003).]
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# 6
2003-09-20, 04:34
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XiPPiLLi, God of turquoise and jewlery.
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# 7
2003-09-20, 04:50
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Regular
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overlooking the lunatic fringe
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Paraphanallia - The God of Greek Street Cleaners.
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# 8
2003-09-20, 05:00
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Eddie Izzard's older stuff is much funnier.
"Hacker movies: they're typing away: dabba dabba dabba deebe deebe deebe... Hacking into the Pentagon computer database... dabba dabba deebe deebe dee... double-click on "Yes"...
Oh, password protected, 28 billion possibilities and one chance... OK, um... JEFF!
.............
HEY!
'How did you know?'
I knew there'd be a BACK DOOR (they always talk about a back door, so they can get in any time they want to, and move the missiles around... put them on their heads or something.) And the person that made this program was called Jeff Jeffdy Jeff, born on the first of Jeff, Nineteen Jeffdy Jeff."
But I digress...
Fred, God of wobbly upper arms.
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# 9
2003-09-20, 05:02
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Regular
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Florida the recall state
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nick god of teh lotrhargic
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# 10
2003-09-20, 05:05
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waiting for someone to say "god of stupid threads".... heheh... j/k...
Kan - God of ... crap, i got nothin...
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#11
2003-09-20, 05:12 |
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 Re: Create a God.
Bryce, the god of oak desks.
Derek, the god of the black paint athletes put under their eyes to keep the sun out.
Barry, the god of Scented Markers.
Josh, the god of illeagal mp3 downloads.
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#12
2003-09-20, 05:12 |
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Re: Create a God.
Shadow- god of murder
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#13
2003-09-20, 05:14 |
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Re: Create a God.
wayne king - god of masturbation.
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#14
2003-09-20, 05:16 |
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Re: Create a God.
Gary, god of fishbowls.
Mizled, goddess of witty comebacks, quips, flames and remarks.
Thou shalt honor thy god, and have no other god's before Jeff
[This message has been edited by MoneyBoxers14 (edited 09-20-2003).]
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#15
2003-09-20, 05:27 |
malzraa 
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Malzraa, the God of manipulation.
Oh yeah,and Strong Bad, God of Email.
Emerson, God of letter openers
Joshua, God of that key ^ (I think it is called a tilda)
And of course Bob, God of the word "A".
[This message has been edited by malzraa (edited 09-20-2003).]
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#16
2003-09-20, 05:27 |
wenerjar
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Captain Planet - God of Recyclables
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#17
2003-09-20, 05:54 |
Mahimaki
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by psychotikan:
waiting for someone to say "god of stupid threads".... heheh... j/k...
Kan - God of ... crap, i got nothin...
okay... Jiscuit or whatever his name is... god of stupid threads
The Torch= god of mispellings and improper grammar
TheJollyRoger- god of idiocies and morons
....
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#18
2003-09-20, 06:14 |
juice
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Jiggabo - God of swamp ninjas, boogers, coons, etc.
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#19
2003-09-20, 07:14 |
ObakeYatsu
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
GhostGuy-God of gaming.
And ninja's.
And robots.
And cool things.
especially shiny things.
Shiny things, cool things, robots, ninjas and games are cool!
I am GhostGuy, God of all that is cool.
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#20
2003-09-20, 08:23 |
buster_hymen
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
perry- god of cereal going mushy after sitting in the milk for too long.
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#21
2003-09-20, 08:52 |
Aimrehtopyh
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Neil-God of Protective Gear (kneepads)
Debra-Goddess of Human Resources
Mark-God of ineffectual labor unions
Shaniqua-Goddess of Common-Law Marriage
Amy-Patron saint of Soccer Moms
Dean-God of neverending road construction
Zach-God of battery chargers
Sean-God of Resealable bags.
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#22
2003-09-20, 08:55 |
thelonerager
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
...and on the 8th day god created thelonerager.......
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#23
2003-09-20, 09:31 |
Guswut
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Chaos, the god of order.
Order, the god of chaos.
Sadistico, the god of job choosing for gods.
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#24
2003-09-20, 09:57 |
loz
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Our Leader Art. Master
GOD OF EVERYTHING
http://www.geocities.com/ourleaderartmaster/king.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://www.geocities.com/ourleaderartmaster/king.jpg" width="90" height="90)
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#25
2003-09-20, 12:06 |
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Re: Create a God.
The Olsen Twins, god of many teenages and dirty old perverts slighty strange fantasies in where Mary-Kate is spreading whipped cream all over your body and Ashely is licking it of and using a dildo on her sister....Opps. I seemed have have gotten a little side tracked.
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#26
2003-09-20, 12:22 |
Doofus
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Horatio, God of marzipan
John, God of sardines
Larry, God of anti-sand sunscreen
Doofus, God of misnomers
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#27
2003-09-20, 12:29 |
Shadow88
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Lachlan, the God of Tubgirl
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#28
2003-09-20, 12:36 |
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by J. A. Seed:
I am seed the god of heroic LSD doses
WIR SIND SEEED!!!!!
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#29
2003-09-20, 12:38 |
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Re: Create a God.
Zok, the god of peepals [note: due to a strange case of godly heredity, Zok's domain also extends to bunched up pants, on account of belts.]
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#30
2003-09-20, 13:00 |
Big Phil Mendoza
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Big Dave - the god of ramen / pot noodles
Mike - the god of badly rolled joints with too much baccy in them so they taste of ass
Max - The god of Funk
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#31
2003-09-20, 13:03 |
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Re: Create a God.
We are humans the god's of ourself!
Think about it.
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#32
2003-09-20, 13:12 |
Jungle_bunny
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Chupa.The god of fine cigars.Also the god of fellatio.(go figure?!)
[This message has been edited by Jungle_bunny (edited 09-20-2003).]
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#33
2003-09-20, 14:10 |
TrIgGeRhApPy
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
CLITORIAN: GOD OF THE CLITS
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#34
2003-09-20, 14:16 |
Razov
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Razov.....God of Gods. surely just the best one to be!? Eddie Izzard rules!
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#35
2003-09-20, 14:48 |
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Re: Create a God.
I'm PsYCHO!!! the god of happy pills.
TREMBLE IN TERROR BEFORE ME YOU WEAK INSIGNIFICANT MORTALS!!!
MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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#36
2003-09-20, 15:02 |
dark-easterbunny
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
dark-easterbunny: god of sober and depressed suicidal rabbits
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#37
2003-09-20, 15:24 |
Forgotmypassword
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Forgotmypassword - god of forgetting and wanting a girl really bad soon,
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#38
2003-09-20, 15:45 |
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Re: Create a God.
Jimbo, God of shotguns.
Larry, God of light bulbs.
Tim, God of tree bark.
Jason, God of pizza sauce.
Ray, God of bad poetry.
Jodi, God of earrings.
Clarissa, God of red lipstick.
Harold, God of belts.
Greg, God of all men named Greg.
Ricky, God of all men named Jake.
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#39
2003-09-20, 16:23 |
Drewparker1230
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
this is my god... http://www.hightimes.com/htsite/grow/pix/0902B/pix0902B_1_big.jpg
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#40
2003-09-20, 16:39 |
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Re: Create a God.
People have god's only because they don't believe in theirselfs. People created everything, some people can't handle this fact. therefore they created Gods so they could explain everything with silly stories. Strong people don't believe in Gods, They believe in Thereself.
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#41
2003-09-20, 16:52 |
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by sybil:
People have god's only because they don't believe in theirselfs. People created everything, some people can't handle this fact. therefore they created Gods so they could explain everything with silly stories. Strong people don't believe in Gods, They believe in Thereself.
This isn't a serious thread, we aren't debating the existance of any god, we are just making up funny ones.
No more Non-Sequitors.
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#42
2003-09-20, 16:52 |
Trench Coat Mafia
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Hehehe, nice god there drewparker, id worship that...
Crank-god of meth
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#43
2003-09-20, 16:55 |
qwerty316
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
how about "My God can beat the shit out of your God" The God Of the 'right forum'
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#44
2003-09-20, 17:45 |
slipknotfan984
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by buddy dobbs:
I am Buddy, the god of pimp ass freaky deaky Manhattan transfers.
say buddy, are you related to ronnie dobbs, the msot arrested man in america?
run ronnie run!
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#45
2003-09-20, 18:05 |
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Regular
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Inside the cage that is my mind.
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by Mahimaki:
okay... Jiscuit or whatever his name is... god of stupid threads
The Torch= god of mispellings and improper grammar
TheJollyRoger- god of idiocies and morons
....
I know I cant spell but you need to get a life if you have that much time to post it on here.
Heres a god for you,
Sarcophagus, God of hot chicks. |
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#46
2003-09-20, 19:07 |
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Regular
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overlooking the lunatic fringe
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by Trench Coat Mafia:
...
Crank-god of meth..
Amen!
Finally - a god worth snorting..
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#47
2003-09-20, 21:24 |
Gillibiabtiag
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
[/b][/QUOTE]
I know I cant spell but you need to get a life if you have that much time to post it on here.
Heres a god for you,
Sarcophagus, God of hot chicks.[/B][/QUOTE]
Wouldn't it be
Sarcophagus, Godess/Goddess/Whatever (How do you spell the female version of God, anyway?) of hot chicks?
......................................
Gillibiabtiag, God of flying cheese monkeys,
and God of Tangled Wires! |
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#48
2003-09-24, 05:34 |
SaltyX
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Salty Cannabamphetamine, THE GOD of mixing two very good things.
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#49
2003-09-24, 10:50 |
Synthetic Darkness
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Nigel, God of Strongly Worded Letters
Horatio, God of Bench-top Appliances.
All Hail the Blender.
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#50
2003-09-24, 18:23 |
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Re: Create a God.
Its funny that beyond this thread, most people who have posted in here have never posted a reply in this Forum.
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#51
2003-09-25, 00:35 |
L3d3ni
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Barbell, the god of iron and weightlifting.
He proudly sits at his bench in Weighthalla, with two 500 pound black dumbbells growling fiercly at his feet.
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#52
2003-09-25, 09:36 |
brinstar
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
XHmdfnkIIIII - the god that governs the holy union between the crotch of a woman's soiled undergarments and my face.
Nin0x4{}{}byron - the god of asymmetric moles and funny characters in names.
Klensh - the god of the sensation of my asshole clenching around a finger.
you motherfucker.
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#53
2003-09-25, 17:21 |
simpgid
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
simpgid-God of that film you get on the roof of your mouth when you eat Captin' Crunch.
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#54
2003-09-26, 22:30 |
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Re: Create a God.
R2D2, god of shop-vacs, also of depressed 13 year old kids.(think about it)
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#55
2003-09-27, 23:25 |
Proteous
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
quote:Originally posted by psychotikan:
waiting for someone to say "god of stupid threads".... heheh... j/k...
Kan - God of ... crap, i got nothin...
brilliant... Kan- God of Crap.
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#56
2003-09-27, 23:30 |
Curtains
Regular
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Re: Create a God.
Curtains god of alcohol
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#57
2003-09-28, 05:07 |
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Re: Create a God.
God of Late Night television
Bill Gates, soon to be God of Earth and invasion of privacy
Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, George Harrison, and others, Gods of guitar
There should be a German god of cars.
Bell, god of the telephone
John Locke, god of freedom
Les Paul, god of the electric guitar
polar bear, god of Coca-Cola
Vaio, god of multimedia computers
Hemingway, god of complex sentences
Luke, god of foot stools
James, god of floor mats
Bede, god of Anglo-Saxon history
most of these don't make much sense
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