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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1
2003-09-12, 01:44
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Well? i find it hard to beleive that jesus went through 30 years never touching a woman. What man, divine or not could do that?
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# 2
2003-09-12, 02:09
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Nah. He hang around whores all day. Come on.
I'm sure he only did it with whores, so as to not break the hearts of women he couldn't be with for life, though.
Jesus was a considerate bastard.
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# 3
2003-09-12, 02:13
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no, u dumb fuck there was no jesus to start with
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# 4
2003-09-12, 02:19
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Curtains:
no, u dumb fuck there was no jesus to start with
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Sorry, but you're incorrect.
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# 5
2003-09-12, 02:21
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o my bad Kikey_Kikeowitz i forgot u no all
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# 6
2003-09-12, 02:27
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Curtains:
o my bad Kikey_Kikeowitz i forgot u no all
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I don't 'no all,' but I do know 'that.'
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# 7
2003-09-12, 05:38
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jesus was a randy beast! who didn't exist!(give me a break)
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# 8
2003-09-12, 07:56
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Jesus(pbuh) will hopefully get a chance to sort through you all at some point after the Judgement. May Allah allow him revenge.
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# 9
2003-09-12, 08:42
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Regular
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Behind the boat house
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Curtains, you are wrong.
If you're offended by me telling you you're wrong, then... well, I don't care. I enjoy indirectly insulting people who deserve to be insulted directly.
It has more of an impact.
Anyways, there are historical (meaning other than biblical) records of the person Jesus existing.
So, he did exist.
Whether or not he was "christ" or "the messiah" is the question.
"It's easy to make a stupid person look stupid. It's not easy to make a stupid person feel stupid."
Cheers,
Lost
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# 10
2003-09-12, 09:04
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He could have married and had loads of kids. He could have been gay or a woman. He could also have been a eunuch or a celibate. I also think it could all be just "mythic" where people cobbled together a common religious founder hero type. But this doesn’t matter because you won’t know. What do matter are the “do unto others as you would have done unto you” principles, which is a better code to live by than most.
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#11
2003-09-12, 22:35 |
Doofnoil2 
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 Re: did jesus die a virgin?
yeah, who's to say thomas jefferson ever existed anyway?
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#12
2003-09-13, 03:58 |
punkrawkerstonershit
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Who Knows, maybe he did maybe he didn't. Chances are he didn't, including that priests take a vow of celebiacy, i'm guessing that Jesus didn't because priests are to follow in the footstpes of Jeuss.
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#13
2003-09-13, 22:02 |
half_baked_matrix_FUCKYOU
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
does anything in this life matter if u follow the ten commandments and live through Jesus's teachings. ppl r so focused on this life instead of the next.
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#14
2003-09-13, 22:19 |
SNKisGreat
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
I personally don't believe Jesus existed, but whether or not he died a virgin is debatable according to the bible. Some parts suggest that he was in love with Mary Magdalene.
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#15
2003-09-13, 23:14 |
maryjane420
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
There is no Jesus. There never was. IM wiccan and proud of it.
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#16
2003-09-14, 09:59 |
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by maryjane420:
There is no Jesus. There never was. IM wiccan and proud of it.
You believe in magical tree-spirits, but you don't believe that a man that people called Jesus existed?
We're not talking about him being the 'son of God,' or whatnot. We're not debating his holiness, if he had any. We're talking about a real man here.
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#17
2003-09-14, 10:11 |
Mota Boy
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
*only replying to subject line*
...I really hope not, unless that's what he wanted. Jesus was possibly the most awe-inspiring philosopher in history. It's really too bad that his message has been twisted as much as it has beem.
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#18
2003-09-14, 10:48 |
Synthetic Darkness
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Ever heard of a secret society called the Priory of Sion? It was headed by heaps of famous people in history such as Newton, Da Vinci, Flamel (yes, Nicholas Flamel from Harry Potter WAS a real person for you idiots who don't read other than good old Harry...) They believe that not only did Jesus love Mary Magdalene but he had a child with her, named Susan. Look up Priory of Sion or Ordre de Sion for more information. Or you could read a book called "Holy Blood, Holy Grail".
[This message has been edited by Synthetic Darkness (edited 09-14-2003).]
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#19
2003-09-14, 10:55 |
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
How could I have heard of it? It's a secret society.
For that matter, how could YOU have heard of it?
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#20
2003-09-14, 11:05 |
Synthetic Darkness
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Thats a good point, but as we all know..some people just CAN'T keep secrets. Plus there are things documented. Have you heard of the Knights Templar? Surely you have. If you havn't, how about the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail? They got it all wrong of course, but they sort of got the theme right (although they were hunting for completly the wrong thing). Anyway if you have heard of these things and know about about them you'll know that the Knights Templar were supposedly searching for the "holy grail" (that Christ suposedly drank from and the last supper). Anyway the Knights Templar were working for the Priory of Sion and when they eventually found what they were looking for (I won't spoil the surprise and tell you what it was) they were seen carrying it out from the hidding place in many chests, and that was documented.
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#21
2003-09-15, 05:04 |
MetalBeast
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
i dont know how jesus could keep away from women either... i dont believe that he could. its just like how i believe that there is no virgin mary, thats just stupid.
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#22
2003-09-15, 08:49 |
tokaygecko
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Biblically, for Jesus to be perfectly without sin, he would've not had sex. Historically, it's really anybody's guess
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#23
2003-09-17, 02:44 |
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Wherever there's consciousness
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
there was no jesus or rather he who is called christ, for this means one who is annointed, all greek, in fact a lot of the new testament was written in greek. Kind of makes you wonder how a lot of it seems like mythology? However, the person in the question really did exist and his name was Youshoua Ben Yoseph, when translated it means god saves. As for him fucking, if you had the power to modify the world around you, and look at the world beyond time, nothing in this world would matter. But point blank anyone who's had good sex can't say they can find anything more fun to do with their body than that. Add to the fact that Yoshua drank wine and..well you do the math.
[This message has been edited by ilbastardoh (edited 09-17-2003).]
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#24
2003-09-17, 02:54 |
Doofnoil2
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
ibastardoh: maybe you could cite refernces to the conjecture that you've obviously pulled out of your ass? you know books and whatnot.
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#25
2003-09-17, 15:46 |
dark-easterbunny
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by maryjane420:
There is no Jesus. There never was. IM wiccan and proud of it.
proud yes, but DUMB to, bein a wiccan does not mean there was no jesus.... it just means he couldn't have been the son of god (let me guess, your one of those 14 year old wannabe's who think they're makin a statement but really are just followin a trend?)
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#26
2003-09-17, 16:02 |
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
No, he screwed us all.
Shek
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#27
2003-09-19, 19:09 |
Big Phil Mendoza
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by Prince Charming:
No, he screwed us all.
Shek
no
The roman catholic church screwed us all.
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#28
2003-09-19, 19:37 |
jwchips
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
erm just to all the ppl who are going on about wicca...
is it a trend??
all the ppl here have a go at me when i tell them im wiccan (U.K..Cornwall)
and SOME people can be 14/13 and not be idiots from the acb and wiccan wannabes etc. some (not all) are in it for real
not a flame..just a statement
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#29
2003-09-22, 13:54 |
pantagruelist
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
what man could do that? a homosexual perhaps.
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#30
2003-09-23, 19:36 |
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Rennes-le-chateau, Aude, France
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Well the first commandment in the Bible is "thou shalt procreate and multiply" so if he ever was a religious orthodox Jew, he did that.
Now if you're asking about the back door, well in jail if someone slaps you on the right cheek and you give the left one, you don't finish the day with a virgin asshole... I can"t answer that straight(surely not straight), but figure it out yourself.
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#31
2003-09-24, 00:36 |
Falcon
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Yeah, the guy talking about the Priory of Sion is right. He had kids, too. It's all written about in The Da Vinci Code. Good book.
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#32
2003-09-24, 08:42 |
Unkind Bud
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
i'm not sure where it is in the bible but i think there is a story of jesus going from age 6 or 12 to thirty in a short time. for the record i belive there was a man named jesus but son of god no.
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#33
2003-09-24, 10:42 |
Synthetic Darkness
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by Falcon:
Yeah, the guy talking about the Priory of Sion is right. He had kids, too. It's all written about in The Da Vinci Code. Good book.
That's where I first read about it. It really intrigued me so I researched a bit.
Just to clarify - I'm not a guy.
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#34
2003-09-26, 08:30 |
partyondudes
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Props if he did, at least then he wouldn't have to resort to little boys, like his followers. (KIDDING, KIDDING)
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#35
2003-09-28, 18:34 |
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Jesus was a Rabbi; he was most likely married to be an example of stability to his flock. There is nothing wrong with being married. The twisted picture of "purity" that the catholics developed is just a distortion. He most likely married someone who was actually mentioned in the testament; someone like Mary Magdalen for instance.
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#36
2003-09-28, 21:57 |
crimson parrot
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Mary Magdaline was Jesus's wife. There are whole gnostic traditions based on this belief. It is well known that the early roman catholic church hated women thats why it tried to cut all mention of her from the bible and called her a whore. Jesus Christ was the annointed one. He was annointed by Mary Magdaline. Mary Madgaline was the first person to see him when he rose from the dead.
Think of Christ as Osiris and Mary Magdaline as Isis and you wont be to far wrong.
Yes I am one of the many people who find the simerlarities between the new testament and the egyptian book of the dead enlightening.
And Jesus did exist it's a historical fact.
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#37
2003-09-28, 23:37 |
Amaterasu
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:
Jesus was a Rabbi; he was most likely married to be an example of stability to his flock. There is nothing wrong with being married. The twisted picture of "purity" that the catholics developed is just a distortion. He most likely married someone who was actually mentioned in the testament; someone like Mary Magdalen for instance.
In fact, it is from Holy Blood, Holy Grail that I was introduced to the seemingly well documented idea that Jesus and Mary M. were wed. It would seem that it was at their wedding that the (supposed) miracle of water to wine took place, but, as I recall, the confusion of miracle with common practice and idiom was what made people interpret this as an actual converting of water into wine...
And it was part of the betrothal ceremony to wash feet. Mary M. is recorded as washing Jesus's feet...
I do recommend reading that book, whether one accepts what it says or not.
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#38
2003-09-28, 23:42 |
Amaterasu
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by jwchips:
erm just to all the ppl who are going on about wicca...
is it a trend??
all the ppl here have a go at me when i tell them im wiccan (U.K..Cornwall)
and SOME people can be 14/13 and not be idiots from the acb and wiccan wannabes etc. some (not all) are in it for real
not a flame..just a statement
If one asks if Wicca is a trend, one might ask if Christianity is a trend - or Mohammedism... Or Judeism... Or Buddhism...
Thank you, jw, for pointing out that one's age does not invalidate one's beliefs.
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#39
2003-09-29, 01:28 |
L3d3ni
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Jesus died a virgin because he spent all of his free time praying and posting random shit on the internet.
Does that ring a bell for any of you?
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#40
2003-09-29, 02:13 |
Synthetic Darkness
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by crimson parrot:
Mary Magdaline was Jesus's wife. There are whole gnostic traditions based on this belief. It is well known that the early roman catholic church hated women thats why it tried to cut all mention of her from the bible and called her a whore. Jesus Christ was the annointed one. He was annointed by Mary Magdaline. Mary Madgaline was the first person to see him when he rose from the dead.
Think of Christ as Osiris and Mary Magdaline as Isis and you wont be to far wrong.
Yes I am one of the many people who find the simerlarities between the new testament and the egyptian book of the dead enlightening.
And Jesus did exist it's a historical fact.
Christian religion is basically a little bit of everything. About the Egyptian similarities - find your self a picture of Isis and her baby Horus. Hmm, who does that remind you of?
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#41
2003-09-30, 20:51 |
crimson parrot
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
quote:Originally posted by Synthetic Darkness:
Christian religion is basically a little bit of everything. About the Egyptian similarities - find your self a picture of Isis and her baby Horus. Hmm, who does that remind you of?
Yeah that's true Isis and baby Horus.
isis/mary (http://itw.sewanee.edu/Huber/st_paul/sld028.htm)
And theres the obvious fact that the country right next door to israel is ummm... begins with an E.
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#42
2003-10-01, 19:13 |
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
It might also be noted that the Coptic sect of Christianity, which produced that frieze, depicting Mary and Jesus, was founded and still flourishes today in Egypt. Their services are conducted in the Coptic language: the closest living linguistic relative to ancient Egyptian. Their temples are often modeled in imitation of ancient Egyptian ones. Therefore, their influence from ancient Egyptian culture is not small, and it is easily explainable that they would identify with the story of Jesus and Mary based upon their connection with ancient Egyptian mythology. Comparable details to those found in the life of Jesus can be found in cultures as far away as Tibet, a culture that certainly developed in isolation from the followers of Jesus. It is not impossible for details of some Religious traditions to have much in common with those of others, and that does not necessarily point to direct influence from one onto the other. By the time of Jesus' birth, Egyptian influence in the Mediterranean region at large was already pretty much dead, and had been white washed over by that of the Roman Empire who only allowed the old religions to flourish in small pockets in the home country.
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#43
2003-10-01, 19:43 |
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Springfield, MO, USA
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Re: did jesus die a virgin?
Kikey,
You always have the best damn lines.
*continues laughing*
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