|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
 |
|
# 1
2003-09-06, 01:31
|
|
Regular
|
|
Under the sea, under the sea...
|
|
My dad thought of this:
God impregnated the virgin Mary and she gave birth to JC. Right? Right.
But if the impregnation was sinless (IE no intercourse or ejaculation), why was Christ a man? It would make far more sense for him to be a girl since the only chromosomes involved were Mary's. Right?
|
|
#2
2003-09-06, 01:58 |
Armed&Angry 
Regular
|
|
|
|
 Re: A theological paradox
The guys writing the story didn't know what a chromosome was, dude.
And the messiah couldn't be a woman. Then she'd be distracted from her duties by shopping and construction workers slapping her ass.
*What Flames May Come*
|
# 3
2003-09-06, 02:39
|
|
Regular
|
|
The future home of the squibbon.
|
|
Jesus was a boy because God wanted him to be a boy. God can do anything, including but not limited to making rock layers magically age. If you're not willing to blindly accept the awesome, all-powerful one God... Okay, I ran out of sarcasm.
|
# 4
2003-09-06, 02:57
|
|
|
Quote:
quote:Originally posted by L3d3ni:
...God impregnated the virgin Mary and she gave birth to JC...
|
as in Stanton?
|
# 5
2003-09-06, 03:49
|
|
|
God need merely say 'be' and it is. Speculate not on the Christ(pbuh), as you are only furthering your future chastisement.
|
|
#6
2003-09-06, 05:19 |
Armed&Angry
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
I'm quaking in my boots, really and truly.
And now I'm going to go drink a ton of bourbon, eat bacon by the handful, and hug a bunch of Jews. Just to piss you off.
|
# 7
2003-09-06, 05:25
|
|
|
If you could you speed up your chastisement I am sure you would, but you have an appointed term. Wait for you term to be over, then let the torment begin.
|
# 8
2003-09-06, 05:46
|
|
|
I wonder what it feels like to have sex with a deity? I should try it sometime.
|
# 9
2003-09-06, 05:59
|
|
|
There is only one deity and that is God. And hopefully when you see Him, it will be right before He smites you. Ignorant Ass. Why don't ya just head down to your local trailor park and get smashed and think of some more stupid fucking questions.
|
# 10
2003-09-06, 06:22
|
|
Regular
|
|
Downey California
|
|
There is no explanation when you hear 'by the power of the Holy Spirit' If you are needing logic to explain faith, why do you even bother capitalizing the word Christ?
|
|
#11
2003-09-06, 11:19 |
L3d3ni
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
Ooh, sorry... I capitalized it since it still is a name of a person, however fictional he may be. Just like I capitalize Sherlock Holmes. Or the Hulk.
|
|
#12
2003-09-06, 18:18 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
Wings of Azrael, why, if you are so holy, do you wish for damnation for whomever disagrees with your religious point of view, right or wrong. That is yet another reason why people stay away from religion, because a lot of people think it's the domain of the insane. You don't win friends or influence them by:
1)sounding crazy
2) wishing them damnation for their point of view, be it right or wrong.
Be less of an extremist and less of a bible thumper who people ridicule. That will win you many more converts. So, put some of that incense in your pipe and smoke it!
[This message has been edited by browncloud (edited 09-06-2003).]
|
|
#13
2003-09-07, 21:22 |
Doofnoil2
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
wouldn't the fact trhat jesus was a man and there was no Y chromosome present make it that much more miraculous?
|
|
#14
2003-09-07, 21:31 |
Wings Of Azrael
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
I don't wish for the damnation of the unbelievers, they are already damned. And it is hard to explain to someone with no belief, that when your belief is attacked is an order from God to defend it. Seeing as how you believe not in the Creator, you have nothing to defend. You believe nothing. And that is fine, I am not out for converts, I never was. It someone's own decision to see the light. I just won't stand for an attack on my faith. That is all. You can not believe all you want, don't make a hot damn to me. All I am saying is be more considerate and tactful of those who believe otherwise there will always be violence that people will say was in order to convert, when really it was only to defend faith against those who have no respect or dignity. Of course, that is just my opinion, I may be wrong. However, I am pretty sure my views are shared by 3/4 of believers. I do not advocate violence unless attacked or oppressed. That is all.
|
|
#15
2003-09-07, 21:33 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
Ah, but here's the thing.
They're NOT damned.
|
|
#16
2003-09-07, 23:09 |
Amaterasu
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
quote:Originally posted by L3d3ni:
My dad thought of this:
God impregnated the virgin Mary and she gave birth to JC. Right? Right.
But if the impregnation was sinless (IE no intercourse or ejaculation), why was Christ a man? It would make far more sense for him to be a girl since the only chromosomes involved were Mary's. Right?
Well... Here is a big question. The Latin says something like Mary was a "virginae" - please forgive me if I am misspelling that; it's been a long time since I studied the specifics. In Latin, the term used meant "young woman," not "virgin" as we use it. If it was to suggest a virgin as we know such, the term "intacta" would have followed in Mary's description. Take that for what it's worth.
[This message has been edited by Amaterasu (edited 09-07-2003).]
|
|
#17
2003-09-09, 16:35 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
Christ could not have been a woman, because women are merely natural, and alone, cannot overcome their animal nature. Men are supernatural, and can act out of things that transcend naturalist concerns. Unless the Christ was to be a manifestation of some kind of animal spirit of the wilderness, masculinity is implied.
|
|
#18
2003-09-10, 18:42 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
It's a lot simpler than that.
Christ wouldn't have been female because nobody in that society would have listened to a female Messiah.
|
|
#19
2003-09-10, 19:19 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
For the reason I said though.
|
|
#20
2003-09-11, 01:26 |
logical-not
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
All of you religious zealots and anti-religious kids are stupid.
Seriously, grow up. No matter how much you 'prove' the other person wrong, they're not going to change their belief for you. Even as futile as this post is... any way.
|
|
#21
2003-09-11, 03:26 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
My answer to the question is this, woman was made from the rib of man. If you read or talk about the Bible, it says that woman should be subserviant to the husband. A woman does not dominate man in the Biblical sense. Therefore, God made Jesus, a man, in order for him to have a dominant social role of leading people and teaching people.
Furthermore, I believe a woman should be subserviant to the husband--but that does not mean that she is supposed to kiss ass.
Next question...
crunked
|
|
#22
2003-09-11, 07:35 |
zorro420
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
The more I listen, the more I realize:
Religious people are just fucking stupid.
Jesus was a man because Joseph blew his load all over Mary's cooch and one of the few sperm that got all the way in carried a Y chromosome. That or Mary just lied and she and Joseph fucked like bunnies.
There's no reason to think Jesus was conceived any way other than good ol' fertilization.
So shut the fuck up.
|
|
#23
2003-09-11, 07:41 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
quote:Originally posted by zorro420:
The more I listen, the more I realize:
Religious people are just fucking stupid.
Jesus was a man because Joseph blew his load all over Mary's cooch and one of the few sperm that got all the way in carried a Y chromosome. That or Mary just lied and she and Joseph fucked like bunnies.
There's no reason to think Jesus was conceived any way other than good ol' fertilization.
So shut the fuck up.
You don't exactly sound like Brainiac yourself, pal.
Not to mention, you have a very limited knowledge of the entire zygote creation process. Most likely, all you know was culled from other, more intelligent poster's remarks.
BTW, Joseph wasn't Jesus' father.
|
|
#24
2003-09-11, 07:42 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz
quote:Originally posted by zorro420:
The more I listen, the more I realize:
Religious people are just fucking stupid.
Jesus was a man because Joseph blew his load all over Mary's cooch and one of the few sperm that got all the way in carried a Y chromosome. That or Mary just lied and she and Joseph fucked like bunnies.
There's no reason to think Jesus was conceived any way other than good ol' fertilization.
So shut the fuck up.
You don't exactly sound like Brainiac yourself, pal.
Not to mention, you have a very limited knowledge of the entire zygote creation process. Most likely, all you know was culled from other, more intelligent poster's remarks.
BTW, Joseph wasn't Jesus' father.
|
|
|
#25
2003-09-13, 06:52 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:
BTW, Joseph wasn't Jesus' father.
How is it then the gospels hold Jesus to be the Son of David, and Jesus is counted as related to David through Joseph?
|
|
#26
2003-09-13, 07:04 |
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
quote:Originally posted by redzed:
How is it then the gospels hold Jesus to be the Son of David, and Jesus is counted as related to David through Joseph?
How is it that Mohammed is a direct descendent of Ishmael?
It's made up.
|
|
#27
2003-09-13, 22:08 |
Ka
Regular
|
|
|
|
Re: A theological paradox
quote:Originally posted by momentia:
Jesus was a boy because God wanted him to be a boy. God can do anything, including but not limited to making rock layers magically age. If you're not willing to blindly accept the awesome, all-powerful one God... Okay, I ran out of sarcasm.
Okay Mr. Jackass
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Community | Bad Ideas | Drugs | Ego | Erotica | Fringe | Society | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
![]()
![]()
|
Linear Mode
Switch to Hybrid Mode
Switch to Threaded Mode