Theres a fat bastard i know and i would really like to get revenge on him. All i want to do is to make him realise that he shouldn't mess with me. I was going to blow his bmx up or something or cut his brakes.

ANy ideas?

Take his pie!

Does he eat alot? This one should be easy.



Give him free food till he keels over. It is a legal way to kill some one like him.

Two words: Baseball Bat.

go to your mom and say that ur very concerned about your fat "friend"s weight, and then say, maybe a fat camp would do him a lot of good, maybe ur mom will talk to his mom and he'll get put in a fat camp, this will piss him off ROYALLY... lol, or just blow up his bmx bike, choice is urs

-DB

Well, half of these ideas i won't do like the baseball bat.

And hes not my friend.

I was planning on trying to blow his BMX up as its prized possesion.

Also, i only see him in school so i need something i can do to really embarass him and make him unpopular (to his friends). I was trying to get a picture of him and scan it in and make it look like him and his borther where holding hands or kissing..

I've done the scanning thing before, it doesn't always work.

But to humiliate him in school, theres MANY things you can do. Write up a very very sexual love letter to either the hottest or the ugliest girl in school, signed by him. He'll deny it, but he'll either be royally bitchslapped (hot chick) or will be the laughing stock of the school (ugly chick).

As for his BMX, if its got a nice paintjob, take a pink spraycan and spray spots randomly on it. He'll have to pay for a new paintjob (at bike shops nowadays, thats really expensive).

your foot + his nuts = comedy!

there's a lot of revenge stuff in Irresponsible Activities (http://www.totse.com/en/bad_ideas/irresponsible_activities/index.html). But if you really want to mess with him put some Syrup of Ipecac in something he eats or drinks. You can get some a herbal or nutrition stores.

The manner that you call him overweight leads me to assume that he is fat and you are not. So, you should be faster than him right?

Well, if he has a BMX why not just steal that motherfucker and throw it in a ditch or trash can?

Not enough balls for that? Slash the tires. Steal the tires. Break the chain. Spraypaint it. Take a shit in a plastic bag and smear it on his seat,handlebars,etc.

School Ideas:

Sign up for a bunch of gay porn mags and have them sent to the school(or home) in his name. VictorThree's idea is very good. Heres a twist on it, send it to a guy.

slash his tires on his bike. loosen his front wheel on his bike or loosen his chain so when he rides fast his chain will pop off and he will mostlikey go over the bars.

His bike has a really good paintjob and everything BUT he has things to fix it.

So now i was going to replace this repair kit with a pie or something or dump loads of porn mags on his door adressed to him.

And he is slower than me and fatter his name is MAtt Hobkinson or as i call him Nobkinson.

man jus beat the fuck out of him.

are bmx bikes hollow framed? if so u can drill a hole in his frame, fill it with bp or preferrably flash, fill up the hole, drill a smaller one in the middle fuse it and blow his bike to hell. If you don't have any explosives then wait for one of those garbage trucks to drive by and roll his bike in front of it.

When hes riding on his bike just grab the handlebars & twist them sharply so the fat fuck eats the deck, then kick the shit out of him & if you want slash his tires.

Then proceed to beat him until he isn't going to get up, pick-up & throw his bike on the ground (hoping to break parts of it), make him swear he will never fuck with you - make him say it.

Do this in a sudden rage so when he is lying in hospital with all that thinking time, he'll realise how fucking dangerous you are & hopefully wont touch you again. Also, walk away, don't run it sends a message in itself. Good luck...jR.

I liked that, jR. That was a cool idea!

Oh yeah, why not cut (or even better, bite [I used to bite annoying people when I still went to school]) him a few times while you're at it... Laugh sadistically, enjoy the sight of blood... This "psycho" thing makes him probably avoid you in the future. I mean you probably used something to slash his tires

DJ_

dont forget the animal porn.if you realy want him in trouble try to find some child porn and have it sent to the school in his name..then just get all sorts of colored spray paint and give his bmx a nice big rainbow.then take the tires and throw them on the roof.also send some magazines with chick with dicks(forget what their called cause im tired) to his house.put some rotten fish,eggs,fruit,ect in his bmx and his locker.

a fatass with a BMX eh, either cut his cables ir loosen the bolts in the wheels.

Mr. SlippyFists has the best idea so far.

Thow I like the Idea of Mr.Slippyfists I've got a beter one. Just make somekind of cookie and put lot's of laxating stuff in it and he'll be shitting for day's

ok here is the best idea, steal the fuckin bike, dont damage it, then send it to my house, as long as you live far away it shouldnt be a problem they wont go lookin out of state for it , or you can to the not recomended method and hacksaw the fram, handle bars, and rims all in half, but the first one is the much more prefered method

Well, thanks for your replies, but i live in england where counties arn't each run diffrently. Anyway i got my revenge i made a chocolate pie for him with loads of laxative and he shared it round with his friends. It was great. They all rushed off to find a toilet as we where in the middle of a field. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yess you used my method. So did he have to go to the toilet the whole day? Or did it just came out in one massive huge dump?

quote:Originally posted by Witchdokter:

Well, thanks for your replies, but i live in england where counties arn't each run diffrently. Anyway i got my revenge i made a chocolate pie for him with loads of laxative and he shared it round with his friends. It was great. They all rushed off to find a toilet as we where in the middle of a field. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bullshit.

He had to goto the toilet, i saw him today and he said it just wore off. ANd don;t say its bullshit becuase its true

Right. Your nemesis is going to accept a "chocolate pie" from you.

Yeeeeeeah.

VictorThree's idea is good i would go with that . probaly slashing his tires or re-spray painting his bike is a good one also. i knw it was already said but since he cares bout it so much i would go for the bike.

What you should have done is while he is turned away you slip some Visine (eye drops) into his drink. Only 3 drops will do. Why? Because Visine has an ingredient called tetrahydroziline in it and it will give you the green apple quick steps FOR HOURS. It's way better than a laxitive. But don't put more than 5 drops in their. It may kill you if you put more.

Random

p.s. I assume no resposibility for this if you do it and you mess up

Well i didn't give it to him i actually gave it to my friend while we where in the field and he shared it around.

ok.that makes some sense.i was wonderin how the fuck you could of possibly pulled it off yourself.

AHAHHAHA

run backwards and say "I BET YOU 2 LARGE, 6-TOPPING PIZZAS THAT YOU CANT CATCH ME!!" and then let him get close and then speed up a lil and say "CLOSE BUT NO PIZZA!!!" lol

diss his fucking ass till he starts chasing u, then do the above.