I like to put excessively large ammounts of Vaseline on my cock and fuck empty toilet paper rolls. I think my parents are starting to notice that we're running out of Vaseline every 4 days or so.

quote:Originally posted by Brent:

I like to put excessively large ammounts of Vaseline on my cock and fuck empty toilet paper rolls. I think my parents are starting to notice that we're running out of Vaseline every 4 days or so.

Dude..just no.I just woke up.

Wow.. this is like your 5th troll thread in the last hour... still might as well post while you can...

I just discovered the wonders of baby powder.

[This message has been edited by Levo75 (edited 12-05-2006).]

Thank you is cool, eh?

Vibrator, vibrator goooooood.

It takes some maneuvering, but I've had such powerful cums that I've thrown myself off the bed.

It's that good.

Girls of TOTSE, I recommened investing in a good vibrator. Mine was ten bucks at Spencer's and has saved me from many lonely nights. Albeit I will upgrade to rabbit, or a strap-on...hmm....

quote:Originally posted by Murloc:

Vibrator, vibrator goooooood.

It takes some maneuvering, but I've had such powerful cums that I've thrown myself off the bed.

It's that good.

Girls of TOTSE, I recommened investing in a good vibrator. Mine was ten bucks at Spencer's and has saved me from many lonely nights. Albeit I will upgrade to rabbit, or a strap-on...hmm....

fist closed!

thumb towards you!

I heard it called a suzy.

Take a rubber glove, add vaseline, or lotion. Lay glove on a towel, roll up the towel, and then pull the opening of the glove out and around the rolled up towel. Have fun and throw away the glove when finished.

Masturbation is more mental than physical. Get some good images and music, make sure you won't be disturbed (nothing kills it like having to be paranoid about someone catching you) and spend at least an hour directing your focus on the act. Don't rush it. If you're about to finish, take a break, get flaccid, take a piss. Having to urinate takes away from it like crazy and makes you ejaculate a lot sooner; it helps a lot if you pee every half hour or so.

That's what I do anyways. Increases the length and intensity of my orgasms like you wouldn't believe. As compared to just doing it in 5 or 10 minutes, that is. Leaves me feeling far more satisfied.

quote:Originally posted by ChickenOfDoom:

Masturbation is more mental than physical. Get some good images and music, make sure you won't be disturbed (nothing kills it like having to be paranoid about someone catching you) and spend at least an hour directing your focus on the act. Don't rush it. If you're about to finish, take a break, get flaccid, take a piss. Having to urinate takes away from it like crazy and makes you ejaculate a lot sooner; it helps a lot if you pee every half hour or so.

That's what I do anyways. Increases the length and intensity of my orgasms like you wouldn't believe. As compared to just doing it in 5 or 10 minutes, that is. Leaves me feeling far more satisfied.

Actually getting caught is my fetish, it's pretty common.

Sometime you just get more excited...like in Grandma's Boy

I put in a barney tape, put wooden shoes on, play the duke nukem theme song ( by megadeth), put a surgical glove on my left hand leaving the right hand exposed, i use the left hand to constantly flush the toilet and use the right hand to masturbate. give it a try

I've been using my mother's old panabrator for the last 4-5 years.

I sit on my hand for about 20 minutes, then when it's numb, I masturbate with it.. I call it "the stranger".

jackinworld.com

I like to masturbate while taking a shit and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The young people call it "doing a bob saget"

Use another person.

Use the opposite hand you write with. Feels different.

quote:Originally posted by Davidius_Green:

Use the opposite hand you write with. Feels different.



yeah...now it feels difficult with my writing hand

serious shit

quote:Originally posted by manfromitaly:

I like to masturbate while taking a shit and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The young people call it "doing a bob saget"

Any other tips?

try masturbating with a hatchet

This thread is pretttty old...

here's a tip - don't use toothpaste..

especially "arm and hammer"

baking soda hurts like a motha

Why the hell would you put baking soda on your penis?!

http://www.armandhammer.co.uk/

it's fucking strong..i was curious :o

I just have a wank. Not of the fancy shit for me.

How can you even fit in those tiny rolls?

--Cr@sh

Holy shit, you must have intense fucking masturbation sessions.
What I'm thinking though, is... why?
Why not spend that care and preparation on another person? You're rubbing one off; you're not trying to pave the path to a marriage to yourself.

If you don't love yourself, why bother living with him?

--Cr@sh

Take one or two benadryls... or any antihistamine (like gravol)...

Trust me. It makes the sensation 3 times stronger.

This.

might have to give that a go tonight ;)

..edit - here we go :)

I don't know how many have tried this, but I know alot of have... and it does work...

It's hard to not cum RIGHT away, but if you hold it, it feels amazing.

I dunno... maybe stop fapping when you feel it coming. If you time it right, you will cum in about 3 seconds (or longer if you become good at it.. I can hold it for about 6 seconds). Feels awesome.


E: lulz I didn't even look at above post.


~1083~

How original...

Any other tips?


Put a horse tail butt plug up your anus then dance around your house naked. When you see everyone staring into your window begin your dressage. Don't forget to bite down evenly on the bit.

Put a horse tail butt plug up your anus then dance around your house naked. When you see everyone staring into your window begin your dressage. Don't forget to bite down evenly on the bit.

Omg, slowdown's back!

Omg, slowdown's back!


http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o8/5low/newsgoat.jpg

naw ya wee creep

i use my girlfriend, failing that my hand.


(joke option) a hammer

Put a horse tail butt plug up your anus then dance around your house naked. When you see everyone staring into your window begin your dressage. Don't forget to bite down evenly on the bit.brilliant...

Detecting high levels of homoerotic thoughts in this here thread. Why did I read it?

Holding your breath and tensing muscles FTW!

and i skipped to page five to say....

+1

How old is this thread?

brilliant...


Yes, nothing like a little brilliance for some masturbatory excellence.

+1 to the good old 'stranger'. Where did you hear about it? I'm just curious, because I've never heard anyone mention it except in my Spanish class Sophomore year of high school...

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o8/5low/newsgoat.jpg

if that picture was bigger, it would be my background. i fucking love it and i have no idea why.

Heres one that I discovered in my early puberty days, and which I enjoyed quite immensely back then. I havent done it in years, and noone i've ever spoken to has ever tried it.

It's for guys only, actually...it's like the guys version of the female shower massager. What you do is you take a sock or a wash cloth, and cover the shower faucet with it. Not too tightly, let it sag a bit. This will condense the entire thing into one big stream. Then you let it fall on the head of your penis. -note of caution: don't let it fall between the slit, it doesn't really hurt, but it's uncomfortable/wierd.-

Nothing fancy for me.

Though I do use my left hand.

That way I don't have to take my right hand off my mouse.

Well, whered you come up with that?

Gone in sixty seconds i believe.

if that picture was bigger, it would be my background. i fucking love it and i have no idea why.


That, my friend, is because I am awesome.

Thanks.

www.lodita.com

http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

Use a cat as a vibrator. Put a cat on your Cunt or your Cock and Balls and make it pur.

http://www.condomdepot.com/content/product/large/shooters_ag.jpg

yeah...now it feels difficult with my writing hand

serious shit

lmao me to :(

Use a cat as a vibrator. Put a cat on your Cunt or your Cock and Balls and make it pur.

WTF 2 years later you come back and reply?

lol

WTF 2 years later you come back and reply?

lol

Haha, and I was the last person to post in this thread before he brought it back?

And my post contained a link to Guts?

Wtf, lol.

Breaking out the lube helps alot. Heh, mad!

Some different tips I enjoy:

1. Yes benadryl/gravol in slightly higher doses, I think 4 benadryl is where you get the most benefit with the least mind messing effects. You still might get a little fucked but the orgasm is beyond insane. I mean seriously. If you don't like deliriants start (If you're going to) with 2. I would be surprised if you didn't want to do it again.

2. Tensing every muscle in your body right before you cum can make it feel fucking great but... I've also found that completely relaxing every muscle as you're about to cum and letting them stay relaxed (not forced) make for a fucking intense orgasm. I mean even your kegel muscle, relax it. See which one you like more.

3. Don't have a scarred cock. lol, sorry, I know it's probably not you're fault you have one if you do but you're dick gets desensitized and you don't have the pleasure of having a foreskin. You never need lube to jack off when you're not circumcised. I have tried lube once or twice a few years ago but I don't remember it feeling any better. Maybe I should try it again.
This tip is less of a tip but a reminder that there are people with both kinds of dicks here and if were going to keep this old ass thread going we might as well make each post clear because some techniques don't work for both.

4. Never had a more intense orgasm then the time my ex got me off without even touching my dick. Seriously. You have to be a little open minded but if you're just worried about it being dirty, get in the shower. It feels great to do it yourself but having your gf do it to you feels better IMO. Unless your arms are insanely long (unrealistically long) it's hard to play with some of the best spots that they can for you.
There's tons of threads on here about anal play so I wont go into too much detail but remember the key is to relax (mentally and physically).

5. Vibrators aren't just fun for girls. Some people like to use it at the underside of the base of their cock but that feels a little weird for me and I don't like it. Personally, running it around the head of my cock feels fucking cool and can help cause some intense orgasms.
Also if you're one of the people who would do #4 then try sitting on it while it vibrates your asshole and the part deeper inside you under your balls, then jack off. Fuck is that intense.
I've never done this but those cock ring vibrators apparently feel nice. I don't have a dildo-type vibrator but I'm guessing I (and you if you're into that kinda stuff) would fucking love it, cant get a small on on the inside without taking risks I'm not willing to take..

6. There are a number of people who like oxygen deprivation while they cum. However a lot of people have gotten hurt/died from doing stupid things like choking your partner or tying something around their neck. Don't do this for fucks sake.
A few years ago I was interested in what the big deal was and so I tried it, a safe way, and I liked it a lot. Here's how I did it: Jack off like normal or however you want to, but about 30-40 seconds (figure out how long you can actually do this, read on) before you actually orgasm exhale and don't inhale. Feels great, if you pass out (Doubt it) you'll just start breathing again so I think this is the safest way to try it. I've both kept not breathing through an orgasm and inhaled just as I was orgasming and both felt awesome in their own ways.

Most importantly, do whatever makes you feel good, sure test around and mix it up, but figure out you're favorite stuff. I say this because not only is it a benefit to you, but now you can modify it into sex with your partner and maybe they will like it as well. On that note one of the biggest tips I have for sex rather then masturbation is talking to and knowing what your partner likes. How the fuck else are they/you supposed to know without guessing.

NOTE: I do note endorse the abuse of benadryl/gravol, I have, but you make you're own choices.

Some different tips I endorse:

1. Yes benadryl/gravol in slightly higher doses, I think 4 benadryl is where you get the most benefit with the least mind messing effects. You still might get a little fucked but the orgasm is beyond insane. I mean seriously. If you don't like deliriants start with 2. Try it. Tonight, go for it. I would be surprised if you didn't want to do it again.

2. Tensing every muscle in your body right before you cum can make it feel fucking great but... I've also found that completely relaxing every muscle as you're about to cum and letting them stay relaxed (not forced) make for a fucking intense orgasm. I mean even your kegel muscle, relax it. See which one you like more.

3. Don't have a scarred cock. lol, sorry, I know it's probably not you're fault you have one if you do but you're dick gets desensitized and you don't have the pleasure of having a foreskin. You never need lube to jack off when you're not circumcised. I have tried lube once or twice a few years ago but I don't remember it feeling any better. Maybe I should try it again.
This tip is less of a tip but a reminder that there are people with both kinds of dicks here and if were going to keep this old ass thread going we might as well make each post clear because some techniques don't work for both.

4. Never had a more intense orgasm then the time my ex got me off without even touching my dick. Seriously. You have to be a little open minded but if you're just worried about it being dirty, get in the shower. It feels great to do it yourself but having your gf do it to you feels better IMO. Unless your arms are insanely long (unrealistically long) it's hard to play with some of the best spots that they can for you.
There's tons of threads on here about anal play so I wont go into too much detail but remember the key is to relax (mentally and physically).

5. Vibrators aren't just fun for girls. Some people like to use it at the underside of the base of their cock but that feels a little weird for me and I don't like it. Personally, running it around the head of my cock feels fucking cool and can help cause some intense orgasms.
Also if you're one of the people who would do #4 then try sitting on it while it vibrates your asshole and the part deeper inside you under your balls, then jack off. Fuck is that intense.
I've never done this but those cock ring vibrators apparently feel nice. I don't have a dildo-type vibrator but I'm guessing I (and you if you're into that kinda stuff) would fucking love it, cant get a small on on the inside without taking risks I'm not willing to take..

6. There are a number of people who like oxygen deprivation while they cum. However a lot of people have gotten hurt/died from doing stupid things like choking your partner or tying something around their neck. Don't do this for fucks sake.
A few years ago I was interested in what the big deal was and so I tried it, a safe way, and I liked it a lot. Here's how I did it: Jack off like normal or however you want to, but about 30-40 seconds (figure out how long you can actually do this, read on) before you actually orgasm exhale and don't inhale. Feels great, if you pass out (Doubt it) you'll just start breathing again so I think this is the safest way to try it. I've both kept not breathing through an orgasm and inhaled just as I was orgasming and both felt awesome in their own ways.

Most importantly, do whatever makes you feel good, sure test around and mix it up, but figure out you're favorite stuff. I say this because not only is it a benefit to you, but now you can modify it into sex with your partner and maybe they will like it as well. On that note one of the biggest tips I have for sex rather then masturbation is talking to and knowing what your partner likes. How the fuck else are they/you supposed to know without guessing.

I'm gonna start the clap. *Claps slowly*

Good job. :D

I'm gonna start the fap. *Faps slowly*

Good job. :D

Fix'd.

Fix'd.

Oh I just walked right into that one didn't I? :o

Oh I just walked right into that one didn't I? :o

Why yes, yes you did.

Tip: Don't put a highlighter in your butt.


I cant believe no one on here has posted that yet heh.

i like to fantasize about fictional characters from popular culture, recently its been mostly "cereal mascots" (general mills brand cereal always has the hottest ones imo)