So here's the LD...

I've been with my current gf for about the past 4.5 years. We get along really well, and whatnot, so everything is just peachy....or rather was just peachy. The thing is, it's a long distance relationship, and we've never met. We plan to meet sometime soon ( like in the next 2-3months).

About this time last year, we decided to take a break from each other, to kinda stretch our limbs and whatnot. We've recently gotten back together....but we've decided to not be an 'official couple' untill I actually move to her state next 2-3months). So we basically have agreed that it's okay if we see other people and stuff....and yet we both refuse to.....well for me, that has changed. I think I would like to date other people, if not just for a little while, just to see what it's like. I've never really been on a date before, and I just wanna know.

All this time, I've been so absorbed in school and work, that relationships didn't fit into my schedule. The funny thing is that long distance relationships aren't nearly as time consuming. I'm wondering if the way I'm feeling is wrong....

Recently ( and this was a new experience for me) I've come to know a girl that I think is totally awsome....the thing is that I've never really given the whole relationship/love thing a realy chance ( the long distance thing seems to be more or less of an inferior type to me). So the whole thing of girls noticing me, and going out of their way to flirt, talk to, and even just hang with me, really knocked me off me feet. But there is one....or two girls that I've grown to be fond of.

Herein lies the problem....I like them...really really like them, but I don't know if it's love that has come as a result of my neglecting "the dating scene", or simply love. I pretty much can't successfully analyze or assess the situation, and it's really becoming bothersome. Like today we ( a group from school) went on a trip, and the whole time we were there, this group of two girls have been pretty much just been in my face....I know that they like me quite a bit....like whenever we see each other they start blushing, and can't stop smiling...then they start laughing and talking to me. One of the girls even went as far as to grab my notebook, and write down her number, and the give me one of the longest stares that I've ever experienced....then she walked off...looked back and smiled...then kept walking.

So after all of this I start to wonder....would it be morally/ethically wrong of me to tell my gf that I want to see other people? Even though I don't know if I actually want to date these girls or possibly be with one of them. Also, the fact that there are 2-3 girls that have my interest, leads me to believe that I could just be over-reacting, or just taking it too far.

Sorry for typing up such a long post, but I really need to figure out which path to take. Thanks in advance for any help, and at least reading my post.

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And wouldn't it be weird if I tell my gf "hey...I'm going to date, possibly fall in love with, or have sex with someone I've only known a while....but when I'm in your area, I'll be with you"..?

[This message has been edited by ShiningKnight (edited 03-07-2007).]

So...no ideas/tips/suggestions.....rude remarks?

Sure the OP is long, but I'm seriously in a bit of a rut...

Dude, ditch the long distance bitch. Sure, you like her, but you're not really together, especially if you've never even met her. If you feel like you might have a shot at laying the pipe in one of these real girls, the ones you actually can see, but don't want to "Cheat" on your other girl, by all means, dump the bitch and go for it. One shred of hope for a real girl is better than a relationship with an online girl.

I met my girlfriend online and we've been together for almost two years now.

If you're moving in 2-3 months and you've already waited 4.5 years, why would you ruin it now?

If I were you, I'd wait to see the other girl a few times before I made up my mind. Imagine the connection you could have with her.

You'll regret it if you leave her.

You're moving in 2-3 months anyway. So if you decide to get involved with this totallyamazingomfg girl right now, you'll be entering a long-distance relationship with her in the near future (assuming you decide to stay with her with the time rolls around).

As tempting as this all may be for you, I suggest you go with the long-distance chick. It's normal for people who are in relationships to deal with minor infatuation. It seems that this is your first time. Don't get too starry-eyed, and remember why it is you've decided to dedicate four and a half years to LD girl.

[This message has been edited by Thromboembolic (edited 03-07-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Toraton:

I met my girlfriend online and we've been together for almost two years now.

If you're moving in 2-3 months and you've already waited 4.5 years, why would you ruin it now?

If I were you, I'd wait to see the other girl a few times before I made up my mind. Imagine the connection you could have with her.

You'll regret it if you leave her.

Best decision IMO.

quote:Originally posted by Toraton:

If you're moving in 2-3 months and you've already waited 4.5 years, why would you ruin it now?

I agree. At least wait and see how it turns out. A five-year relationship isn't something you should jeopardise for the sake of something (the 'real life' - for lack of a better term - relationship) you'll be experiencing with this girl in a few months anyway. You most likely read yourself right, you're just unused to all this female attention and excited by it all. Don't throw it away for the sake of infatuation.

I had a 10:30pm epiphany of sorts.

I realised the pointlessnes of instulting people over the internet.

This is a formal apology (without sarcasm)

I wasn't contributing.

[This message has been edited by Bean_Doodle (edited 03-07-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Bean_Doodle:

Umm...4.5years

And you've never met?

Why don't we all think about this statement for a while...

Yeah, that made me think ... huh?

quote:Originally posted by Bean_Doodle:

Umm...4.5years

And you've never met?

Why don't we all think about this statement for a while...

I will admit that it is rather awkward...I mean, this situation doesn't exactly conform to many of the relationship ( wether LD or otherwise) scenarios...But in my case, I just didn't have time to spend time dating and what not, and she didn't/doesn't seem to mind. We were actually planning on meeting last year...but something came up.

To be honest we haven't exactly been "together" for that long....is like...within the time frame of 4.5 years we've known each other, and have also thought about dating when we meet. I guess it's an overstatement to say that she is my gf....then again...ok I don't really know. But it works for her, so I'm cool with it.

quote:Originally posted by ShiningKnight:

I will admit that it is rather awkward...I mean, this situation doesn't exactly conform to many of the relationship ( wether LD or otherwise) scenarios...But in my case, I just didn't have time to spend time dating and what not, and she didn't/doesn't seem to mind. We were actually planning on meeting last year...but something came up.

Stop worrying about it. I was "with" my girlfriend for around six months online before we actually met. The end result was a wonderful relationship that'll probably last forever.

Go see her. If you still get along, why not use your long-term knowledge of each other to form a strong relationship, one that might possibly outlast a shallow relationship with the other girl?

Everyone in every relationship gets feelings like yours. If you 'break up' with the girl, I swear you'll regret it. You'll always think, "What could we have had?"

quote:Originally posted by ShiningKnight:

So here's the LD...

I've been with my current gf for about the past 4.5 years. We get along really well, and whatnot, so everything is just peachy....or rather was just peachy. The thing is, it's a long distance relationship, and we've never met. We plan to meet sometime soon ( like in the next 2-3months).



Im gonna go out a limb here and suggest that perhaps meeting in person would be advisable.

(also stoped reading when it said "we've never met.")

its gonna suck when you finally meet her and see that your gf of almost 5 years is a fat a 40 year old bloke who still lives with his mum.

Speaking from personal experience, I can say that Toraton is completely right when he says you'll regret not giving it a chance. In my case, it wasn't a decision I made, it just didn't work (long story).

But I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I had actually decided to give it up.



If you go through with it and it doesn't work out with her, you can always go and find another girl. But if you give up on her, you'll never know. And not knowing is much worse than being sure it wouldn't work. Trust me.