GAH. This is driving me nuts. I know it's not a big deal, and that's what bothers me. It's not a big deal, yet it is a big deal, and... BAH.

My boyfriend is terrified (or something) of me meeting his mother. We've been dating for 9 months, and we can't even go over there for some goddamn ice cream. He's totally okay with me talking to his dad and whatnot, but his mom is completely out of the question (they're divorced, btw.)

Is there some sort of logical explanation for this? Do a lot guys act this way? Noone else I've ever dated has had a problem with me meeting his parents.

I know, this is really stupid. But when your boyfriend runs outside to desperately try to start his definitely-not-gonna-start-car right after I jokingly suggest that I'll drive him to his mom's place (jokingly because I know he won't go for it) since his car isn't running is a little goddamn ridiculous.

Cant say I relate entirely.. Though my mom pretty much deserted me for her loser boyfriend and moved across the country :S Dads are usually easier going though, their just glad that their son didnt turn out gay :P As far as the mother side, couldnt tell ya. Maybe his mom is a bitch.. thats always a possibility.

Which parent does he live with?

Divorced mom's with son's can be very very posessive. My ex's mom was.

Has she invited you over yet?

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-06-2007).]

Boys tend to be a little strange about their mothers.

He probably really badly wants her to like you, and maybe has an inclination that she won't? He's desparate for her approval of you? Meeting his mother finally makes this a 'serious' relationship for him? I'm sure there's a number of reasons.

Have you asked him?

Look I have no idea.

Parents don't like me, so I'm probably very little help.

He lives with his dad. And she's suggested that I come over or we go out for lunch/dinner or something. One time I had a class so I couldn't go, but every other time my boyfriend makes up some excuse, then when he tells me about it he claims "it'd be too awkward."

She'll definitely like me. I've never met a parent who didn't like me. And she sounds really nice from what I've heard about her. So this all really makes no sense. If she was the psycho bitch from hell and he thought she'd rip me apart if we met, I'd understand. But he's told me she'd probably like me, even said "I'll see if she wants to go out for lunch this week so you can finally meet her " and it NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS.

He's fucking with me, the bastard...

Is he by any chance called Billy Bibbit?

Would it be inappropriate for you to invite her to lunch without telling your boyfriend since she has suggested it anyway?

What the hell kind of a name is Billy Bibbit? Poor bastard...

I would TOTALLY invite her to lunch if I could. I don't have her phone number however, and I have a feeling "borrowing" my b/f's phone to get it would not go over well.

I'm just getting more and more upset about this as the night goes on. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous the whole situation seems, and that just makes me more mad.

I feel the pain of your boyfriend Big D.

Introducing girls to my mother, and family in general, is something I usually avoid like the plague.

It doesn't say anything bad about you.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 03-06-2007).]

Gosh, I have no real advice for you. What an awkward situation.

How about you invite them both over for dinner. Phone him when he's home and ask to speak to his mom so you can formally invite her.

How could he say no to that?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I feel the pain of your boyfriend Big D.

Introducing girls to my mother, and family in general, is something I usually avoid like the plague.

Why? Is your family especially embarassing? Smelly? Rude? Some other unhappy fault? Or do you just think it's weird? What are your feelings on introducing lauren to the family? (Where is she anyway?!)

My parents are foreign, totally batshit crazy and extremely embarassing. Yet I had no problems with him meeting them. I think it's just something you do when you're in a serious relationship.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



Gosh, I have no real advice for you. What an awkward situation.

How about you invite them both over for dinner. Phone him when he's home and ask to speak to his mom so you can formally invite her.

How could he say no to that?

He doesn't live with his mom, so that wouldn't work. Even if he did I doubt he'd put her on the phone. I wanted to call her once to ask her where she got this chinese headache lotion stuff and he was like "I'll do it!" GAH.





[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 03-06-2007).]

I won't go into it on totse. But if you venture forth into MSN, then I'll weave you a tale.

pure_inebriation@hotmail.com

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

He doesn't live with his mom, so that wouldn't work. Even if he did I doubt he'd put her on the phone. I wanted to call her once to ask her where she got this chinese headache lotion stuff and he was like "I'll do it!" GAH.

Oh. He never stays there? Weird.



He just must not be ready for that step. Maybe she's frightened girls away before.

Mmm, from what he's told me she's never met any of his girlfriend's before. She's been living in the Caribbean and some other place for the past few years, moved back here... about a year ago, I think.

My mom's a whore and I hate her.

Asked why his parents broke up, easy a that.

Then, does he know her very well? How old was he when they split up?

His mom is his dad.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I feel the pain of your boyfriend Big D.

Introducing girls to my mother, and family in general, is something I usually avoid like the plague.

It doesn't say anything bad about you.

QFT. Only one girl has met my parents. Every girl I ever slept with I made leave in the middle of the night.

But yeah, it's nothing personal. Parents and loved ones interacting is a scary thing to some dudes.

Only serious relationship I ever had, and I refused to meet her parents. If I picked her up, I wouldn't even drive to the end of her street in case her parents decided to talk to me. Parents suck.

Same thing here. I keep parents and loved ones as far as I can get them. Fuck, even walking with a girl through my neighborhood makes me nervous because there is a higher chance that she'll have to meet my family.

OP, its probably that he is afraid of losing you, he wants to keep you away from anything that he considers a threat to your relationship, anything that could interfere and so on.

You boys are all weirdos.

yea, I kinda aviod my mother like the plauge when chicks are involved too.

is there any reason for you to meet her? because if there isn't, just drop it. He'll let you meet her in good time. But guys are funny like that.

Introducing a girl to your mother is pretty much like saying "Hi mom, this is what im bangin'"

and most guys I know, don't like their mothers that much. So introducing the new girlfriend is just not something at the top of our list.

FINE. I'll drop it. But I'm going to be damn cranky about it, and if he asks me why I'm so cranky I'm going to eat him.

I still don't get why it's a huge deal though. If anything, it should be a bigger deal meeting the girls parents. More often than not with the big, scary, overprotective dad with some sort of weapon collection. (not my dad, but I've seen too many of these than I'm comfortable with)

Surely that's worse than saying "hey mom, this is my girlfriend. Feed us ice cream."

My parents adored my 2nd gf (though secretly blame her for me doing coke), never met my first, and thought my 3rd was a whore (kinda true). I met the parents of the first and second, and they loved me. I'm good at talking to parents

it's a skill i have, what can i say

I basically say it's because he himself doesn't want contact with his mother and to have you meet her, would to involve himself with you.

If any girl of mine, no matter how serious the relationship is, I would not let her near my biological mother. She's a sadistic abusive crackwhore.

I don't want anyone to see that.

Maybe he's still cut up about the divorce, these things have a lot of inpact on children, maybe he's nursing some pent up frustration/anger or something of the like.

Just be careful treading around that subject, beyond all the bravado he's probably frightened of something, or is trying to protect you from someone he sees as a danger or a threat.

I guess im similar to that,

i dont like my dad, and don let girls im with meet him.

My ex girlfriend who i was with for a year met him twice, and my current girlfriend who ive been with for almost 5 months hasnt met him....

Boys are weird. That is all.



Here, have a kinder bueno. It wont make problems go away,but it will make them alot more..sugary.

Maybe she's a whore.

Maybe you're a whore.

Either way, someone's a whore.

If you want to be the crazy girlfriend, you could always look her up in the phonebook or talk to his Dad about it.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

If you want to be the crazy girlfriend, you could always look her up in the phonebook or talk to his Dad about it.

I'm not THAT nuts...

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

I'm not THAT nuts...

I know, but I had to put it out there.

Have you bothered trying to ask him why he's so freaked out about it, instead of just running straight to totse?

(i didn't read the responses, sorry if this has been said already.)

maybe she's a bitch. i mean there is always a chance that she is one of those evil women who thinks every girl in the world isn't good enough for her son and he is afraid she will be mean to you because of that. or she's just a bitch in general and will be mean to you even if she does think you're good enough for him.



anyway, you have to ask . we sure as hell don't know and will only confuse you further with our possible theories. go to the source. ask him calmly and just say you want the truth, even if it may hurt you a wee bit.

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

Have you bothered trying to ask him why he's so freaked out about it, instead of just running straight to totse?

Yes. I have, in fact, asked him why he doesn't want me to meet his mom. And he's never given me a straight answer, instead one day says "we'll go out for lunch soon" OR makes up an excuse about why we can't. It's very strange.

And no, his mom isn't a bitch. She honestly sounds like the nicest person ever from what I've heard of her. And the divorce was his dad's fault, but that's a whole other can of worms I won't open up right now.

I'm like that with my dad.

Don't take it personally, it's just a guy thing. Don't press it on him, it'll really bug him. :O

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

...that's a whole other can of worms I won't open up right now.

Mmmmmmm. Canned worms.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Mmmmmmm. Canned worms.

I hear they're good fried. With ranch dip.

hey dont worry i'm like this about letting my mom meet my girlfriends, im dating a girl right now and i didnt let her meet my mom for a month and a half this was just the other day, and i would have made her wait longer if it wasnt for the fact that she was with me and HAD to stop at my house, it just that my mothers opinion about girls that i date is really important to me because i love my mother and her opinion about anything means more to me than any other persons opinion on this earth, i just have to completely trust my girlfriend and decide wether or not she is sutible to meet my mother, like for instance only 4 of my girlfriends have ever met my mother and ive had allot of girlfriends, its not that i didnt like them just most of them i wasnt sure if i wanted my mother to meet them because of there attitude, or the way they talked to me i didnt want my mom to think i let them walk all over me, or jst decided i didnt want them to for whatever reason, but dont ask im sure that if u do it will just make him want to do it less... or have just tell him how it makes you feel and if he understanding and a good boyfriend he'll understand and let you do so... just when and if you do be polite overly polite