I'm wondering how people here see this issue.

Is a parent obliged to pay for their child's higher education?

If so, then....

What do you see as the adult child's obligations?

Do you think the child should bear some of the financial responsibility since the education will mostly benefit them?

[mods, please move this if it belongs elsewhere]

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-05-2007).]

I don't plan on paying for my daughter's higher education. I will help her out if she needs it, but I don't think parents do their kids any favors by giving them a free ride. My parents supported my sister completely until she was 25. She's 32 now and she STILL asks them for money on a regular basis.

I'm kinda old fashioned (infact almost biblical)on this one. A father has certain duties towards his kids. One of which is to ensure they learn a 'trade'.Or rather , in this day and age, that they learn something which will allow them to take a wife and start their own family. Be that a degree in 'Anglo-Saxon, Celtic and Norse' (which my brother studied) or an apprenticeship with the local plumber. Almost any higher education falls into the catergory of 'learning a trade' (Although No parent [i]wants[i/] their child to study Sociology of course).

In the case of a daughter it is the father's duty to see her married well.

Yes I know I was born a century tooo late

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 03-05-2007).]

If parents are financially well off enough to lighten the load. I think it's totally acceptable. After all, your wrinkled ass will be the one reaping the benefits of far more than what you put in, from your kid in the future.

Though I moved before I started college, I made a deal with my parents. They can continue to claim me as a dependent as long as they pay for my school.

On top of that, all the money and bonds I've gotten for the various religious ceremonies, birthdays, and holidays since I was a baby was put into an account, along with some money my parent's have contributed over the past few years. So that's helped a little.

As a college student, completely financially independent. Every but helps. Books for a semester could cost $500 plus.

Basically, if the little snot is still living under your roof and all that, make them pay for SOMETHING. Then again, if their 18 years old and already and established entity in and of himself, then help him out a little. It'll be much appreciated.

I plan on paying for my kid's education. I'd rather them have NO REASON to not go to university.

I'm completely supporting myself through University, mainly through grants, loans, and bursaries.

Yes, it would be nice if one of my parents gave me something every now and again, but then again there comes a time where they have to stop supporting their children and let them fend for themselves - Uni is the perfect place to start that.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

I'm wondering how people here see this issue.

Is a parent obliged to pay for their child's higher education?

If so, then....

What do you see as the adult child's obligations?

Do you think the child should bear some of the financial responsibility since the education will mostly benefit them?

[mods, please move this if it belongs elsewhere]





Fuck no!

I can understand a parent supporting a child whilst it cant provide for itself, and I can understand a parent allowing a child to continue living at home whilst it goes into higher education, but the parent having to pay for the higher education!?!?



When would the paying ever end?!



It's like baby pigeons. You have to push them out of the nest some day or they'll just sit there expecting you to feed them and care for them forever.

I think if your child wants to go to university, will work hard and make good use of the money invested into their education... there should be no reason the parents shouldn't pay for it, if it's financially permissable.

I mean, look at it this way. You want to be a doctor/lawyer/whatever. You've been accepted into some of the best schools. Your parents would have little/no financial problems paying for this education, and of course, once you graduate and start making ridiculous amounts of money, your parents benefit. But they say no. For no reason.

Not sure if I'm explaining this well, but bear with me.

Wouldn't you be a little pissed, being led through your entire adolescent life believing you were going to post-secondary, and then having that dream fucked up the ass by your own parents? I sure would.

If, however, your kid doesn't want to go to post-secondary, yet you force them to anyway and they end up dicking around for a few semesters, wasting your money and then finally dropping out to work at some dead-end job with no aspirations for later in life, then the parents have screwed themselves.

So really it's all dependent on the child, and how nice the parents are.

I honestly see no reason why a good parent wouldn't pay for their child's education, other than what I've mentioned (financial reasons/lazy bastard kids.)

I think the child should be as self-sufficient as possible.

Having a job, or a loan, any way of paying for as much as they can independently. But I think some help from parents would really take some of the pressure off, especially in areas where rent is quite high.

I wouldn't exactly agree with parents refusing to help at all. Of course the kid needs to learn sometime, but giving them no help whatsoever would be throwing a lot of kids in at the deep end.

It's a balance, really. I think parents have a responsibility to teach their child how to cope in the real world, but also to support them when they need it.

Jx

So far there are a lot of good points here.

This is how I'm looking at it:

The child must demonstrate the motivation and ability to go on to higher education while in high school by being responsible in regard to regular attendance, maintaining a high GPA, taking the appropriate college prep classes, and as soon as they're old enough by working and putting a percentage of that income into a college savings fund of some sort as well as by applying for any and all scholarships and grants that might be available.

Then according to the ability of the parents to pay a portion of the tuition, their responsibility ends there. The rest would have to be paid with student loans by the adult child, and/or by a work-study program offered through the college/university.

Is that unreasonable? I don't think so.

But, what if you have a child who drops out of high school then later decides to go to college. Do you think that the parents should bear that same responsibility, or do you think the student should then have to show that they will not drop out before completing the program before receiving any aid from the parents?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



But, what if you have a child who drops out of high school then later decides to go to college. Do you think that the parents should bear that same responsibility, or do you think the student should then have to show that they will not drop out before completing the program before receiving any aid from the parents?



If your kid drops out of high school that shows he/she is not motivated and the parent shouldn't be expected to support them because they've shown they're not trustworthy. When you drop out of school, you screw yourself over. And if you decide you want to go to college, work for it yourself. Don't expect your parents to save your ass.

^^^That's rather the way I see it too.

Although, if after a year or so they prove that they're serious about their education, I could then see possibly helping them along with some expenses.

Yep, that's a good system. I've not seen many high school dropouts go to college though. If you can't make it through high school, there's little chance you'll survive post-secondary.

There's also some sort of statistics on how many people actually go back after "taking a break" after high school. It's a very small number. I took a semester off, and if it had been any longer it probably would have been extremely difficult to go back. School's better than working though. Definitely learned that much...

Is a parent obliged to pay for their child's higher education?

- Should they? Yea. Obligated to? May be a little. I mean, you've already raised the child, therefore if you've done a good job/as best as you can, you've already done what you need to. However, you're obligated to society not to send uneducated assholes into the world, and you should avoid this at all costs. If you can't, you can't and no one should blame you for it, but if you can you most definitely should.

If so, then....

What do you see as the adult child's obligations?

You created the child, the child didn't create you. Therefore, technically the adult child owes you nothing. However, if you did a good job the adult child should feel obligated to take care of you in your old age. At least one way or another.

Do you think the child should bear some of the financial responsibility since the education will mostly benefit them?

Say I had all the money in the world and I was sending one of my adult children away to college. I'd pay for the classes, the books, and possibly transportation expenses (if it was public transit). But, I'd still make sure they got themselves a part time job and paid for their own food and fun time (assuming they're in a dorm). This way you can be sure what they're spending their money on. If you just give them money willy nilly they wont appreciate it and college students will tell you it's for book but then blow that $500 on cocaine, cheap liqour, and girls with low self esteem faster than you can fart.

Cheers,

Lost

I know a few who went to college later in life, such as myself. Decades later, in fact.

The only thing my parents ever offered to pay was for books. They couldn't afford to do anything more. The eldest worked for a year after high school while deciding on a major and saved that money for when she would go. Another went decades later as well. So, I'm the third.

I love school, but boy...it can be expensive and I go to a rather inexpensive college.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-05-2007).]

The main reason I'm joining the military is so that my parents won't have to pay for me to go to college.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:



If so, then....

What do you see as the adult child's obligations?[/B]

I didn't mean those kinds of obligations. I was strictly referring to their obligations toward their own education.

I hope I won't need my child's financial assistance in my later years and am trying to make plans for that as well.

I had to work 2 part time jobs to put myself through college, pay rent, and all the utilities. I am not going to let my children go through the same hell I went through. I will be paying for my children's education in full.

FYI - I didn't take in loans because I have this phobia of them. I grew up in a poor household with parents that weren't exactly fiscally responsible. You can pretty much guess how loans made the situation worse.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

I didn't mean those kinds of obligations. I was strictly referring to their obligations toward their own education.

I hope I won't need my child's financial assistance in my later years and am trying to make plans for that as well.

Well, whether or not you need them financially is besides the point. You'll need someone eventually and hopefully your children will be ready and willing to help.

But, as far as their obligation to their education go, they're obligated to go to all their classes and do they're best to pass them. I think that's about it.

Cheers,

Lost

I started my family late in life. I'll almost be of retirement age when my child starts college. That won't be much time for an established career. So, I am not counting on that really.

I'm just trying to plan for things like that as best I can.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-05-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Can O Soup:

The main reason I'm joining the military is so that my parents won't have to pay for me to go to college.



That's a good way to do it too. I know a lot of people who did it that way.

Airforce, I hope.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



That's a good way to do it too. I know a lot of people who did it that way.

Airforce, I hope.

Army. But, 98C does 26 weeks of AIT at Goodfellow AFB.

I hope my parents don't pay for my university...

I'm not motivated, I'm irresponsible, and I'm not worth their money.

But, you know, if the child was responsible and hard working, then I think it is perfectly acceptable, and almost an obligation that you help them do whatever they want to fulfill their educational needs.

I mean, within reason. But it seems a bit harsh to just circle the day when they go off to college and then say, "Goodbye, You're a man now, good luck."

quote:Originally posted by Can O Soup:

Army. But, 98C does 26 weeks of AIT at Goodfellow AFB.

Good luck to you.

My brother was Army. A paratrooper during all that garbage with the Panama Canal. But that's all I know about that.

[Except for stories about eating snakes and monkeys. Or was the monkeys while he was a missionary? Not sure.]

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 03-06-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by ApocalypsePlease:

I mean, within reason. But it seems a bit harsh to just circle the day when they go off to college and then say, "Goodbye, You're a man now, good luck."

Hah! Girls were expected to get married and have babies in my family. They were old school...but they too were older parents. That was what they knew of life.

My parents are paying in full for my first two years of uni. After that, I'm completely on my own. If I dropped out, I would expect to pay for what they spent on me.

quote:Originally posted by ApocalypsePlease:

I hope my parents don't pay for my university...

I'm not motivated, I'm irresponsible, and I'm not worth their money.

But, you know, if the child was responsible and hard working, then I think it is perfectly acceptable, and almost an obligation that you help them do whatever they want to fulfill their educational needs.

I mean, within reason. But it seems a bit harsh to just circle the day when they go off to college and then say, "Goodbye, You're a man now, good luck."

Heh, that's awesome. I respect people like you a lot more than those fuckers whose parents pay for their entire college education and they spend it doing fuck all and partying all the time. Goddamn that pisses me off, hearing almost everyone around me talk about how broke school makes them, yet they STILL go out and blow $100+ a night at the bar, perhaps even 2-3 times a week. I mean, yeah it's college, you're supposed to party your ass off, just don't fucking bitch about it when you fail your midterm because you "had" to go get smashed off your face AGAIN instead of studying.

UGH.

/rant

quote:Originally posted by Chibi Shinigami:

My parents are paying in full for my first two years of uni. After that, I'm completely on my own. If I dropped out, I would expect to pay for what they spent on me.

I approve. In fact, I think that's admirable.

But...you're not going to drop out.

quote:Originally posted by Can O Soup:

The main reason I'm joining the military is so that my parents won't have to pay for me to go to college.

Bingo. Also, my parents couldn't pay for my college even if they wanted to.

Well, my parents have been very supportive of me, saying that I'm an only child.

Both my parents are fairly intellectual, though quite down to earth would like to see me learning and getting a god job.

Me, I'd hope to be the same. There'd be somethings I'd like my kid to work for and after university I'd expect to have to pay very little. I wouldn't want a spoiled little brat, but I'd want the best education they could get.