Ahh, well, here's some background information. I met this girl at the start of highschool, real cool, and funny. I didn't think much of it. We became real good friends, like 'best friends' more or less. I liked to chill around her, and vice versa I believe. Anyways, then one time one of my friends asked if me and her had a thing cause we seemed so close, and I was like, meh, we're just friends. And at this point, I was starting to feel for her a bit, so I asked him to ask her the same thing(so elementary schoolish I know, I don't usually roll like that). Anyways, he asked her, and the conversation went something like this:

Him: So you and ____ are pretty close

Her: Yeah we're cool

Him: You guys have a thing or anything?

Her: No, we're just friends

Him: So he's stuck in the 'friends zone'

Her: I guess haha

Now, when he told me this, all hopes of me liking her kind of faded away. I accepted it, and it was cool.

Now all this happened back when I was kind of a 'nice guy', always the shoulder to cry on and stuff. A couple years later I'm a lot changed. I've got more style in how I dress, I've been going to the gym steady, and am a lot more confident. Anyways, I noticed she was starting to become more friendly, for example, she texts me lots, and tommorow, we got a plan to go get some breakfast/lunch.

Now, my question is, is there any way to take this further then being real good friends? Liike, I don't wanna do anything fast, like get too personal or anything? I just wanna take it slow. Because, I thought she could have been into me last time, but I was horribly wrong.



But something I don't want to do is make shit weird, and ruin our friendship. That'd just be shitty. Cause I actually have a good time chilling out with her.

Oh ps, some background info on me, I'm not a loner or anything. I hang out with the 'popular' crowd... whatever the fuck that means. And I was voted the funniest guy in my grade. And next year, I even plan on going running for school president(that's a whole different story!). So it's not like she'd be embarrased to be seen with me or anything.

So, if anyone's got any advice or anything, that'd be much appreciated.

I think you're best watching 'Just Friends'

The situation is almost identical to yours.

Just don't get too pally pally.

Haha yeah I've seen that movie. Infact most of it was filmed in my town.

But, I don't do that shoulder to cry on shit anymore. And I definatly stopped caring what other people think.



Also, in between before and and now, we still talked and hung out and shit, so it's not like we stopped talking definatly. We were still cool and stuff. I even ended dating a couple people in between.

Read Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction.

Or get fucked up together and see what happens.

-F☺rd

Don't listen to this fag about art of seduction.

In your situation there are only two possible scenarios with lots of deviation possibilities of both.

You are friends, but you want to be lovers. Now this can work either way, some people are lovers, and then become friends. Some are friends and become lovers. You want the latter.

Now to make this happen you are going to have to throw your friendship aside. Meaning, you are going to have to calmly tell her how you feel about her, don't use the word "love", just say you have noticed how your feelings have increased for her over the past couple days/months/years whatever.

She is going to go with two options, express the same feelings towards you, or not express the same feelings towards you. If she does great, natural instinct will take it from there. If she doesn't, too bad she doesn't know what she is missing because she is a dumb cunt anyways.

So after all this you either end up with this girl, or you don't end up with this girl. A risk is what you are taking by expressing your feelings to her, and if you think the friendship is worth the risk to gain something even more special then go for it. If not, then find another girl and just be cool with this one.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Don't listen to this fag about art of seduction.

In your situation there are only two possible scenarios with lots of deviation possibilities of both.

You are friends, but you want to be lovers. Now this can work either way, some people are lovers, and then become friends. Some are friends and become lovers. You want the latter.

Now to make this happen you are going to have to throw your friendship aside. Meaning, you are going to have to calmly tell her how you feel about her, don't use the word "love", just say you have noticed how your feelings have increased for her over the past couple days/months/years whatever.

She is going to go with two options, express the same feelings towards you, or not express the same feelings towards you. If she does great, natural instinct will take it from there. If she doesn't, too bad she doesn't know what she is missing because she is a dumb cunt anyways.

So after all this you either end up with this girl, or you don't end up with this girl. A risk is what you are taking by expressing your feelings to her, and if you think the friendship is worth the risk to gain something even more special then go for it. If not, then find another girl and just be cool with this one.

Goddamnit Carbon, just because you have a 21St chromosome doesn't mean you’re special. You practically just gave a dumbed down account of what Dr. Greene goes into. Why should the OP risk a friendship that he obviously values to a great extent when he could use a subtler approach and gauge reactions without alienating her if she doesn't reciprocate his feelings?

I think you're fat must be interfering with your mental functions.

-F☺rd







[This message has been edited by Ford Prefect (edited 03-05-2007).]

Let me break this down to you, as if you were a small child. To start off with just because you dubbed yourself Ford Prefect, does not mean you have some omnipotent insight as to what is best for him.

Telling him to use subtle tactics to find out if the bitch likes him? Why? Why not just ask her directly? You will be surprised the responses you get when being forward with women. There is no reason for underhanded tactics.

Why maintain a friendship if you are only interested in being in a relationship? There is no reason to torment yourself. A dumbed down account of what Dr. Greene goes into?

I see how you italicized "Dr.". Does that make him a genius? No...does that make his advice any more fruitful than my own? No. My advice is good, and following it will assure you the quickest way to the question you want answered.

Don't listen to this jack off Ford. He is only trying to make his opinion seem correct by calling me "fat". As if that has any relation to connecting with a woman on an emotional or physical level. Get over yourself bitch, dip your dick in some pussy sometime and realize that you are a fucking moron reading about how to get bitches, while guys like myself are getting the bitches.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Let me break this down to you, as if you were a small child. To start off with just because you dubbed yourself Ford Prefect, does not mean you have some omnipotent insight as to what is best for him.

Telling him to use subtle tactics to find out if the bitch likes him? Why? Why not just ask her directly? You will be surprised the responses you get when being forward with women. There is no reason for underhanded tactics.

Why maintain a friendship if you are only interested in being in a relationship? There is no reason to torment yourself. A dumbed down account of what Dr. Greene goes into?

I see how you italicized "Dr.". Does that make him a genius? No...does that make his advice any more fruitful than my own? No. My advice is good, and following it will assure you the quickest way to the question you want answered.

Don't listen to this jack off Ford. He is only trying to make his opinion seem correct by calling me "fat". As if that has any relation to connecting with a woman on an emotional or physical level. Get over yourself bitch, dip your dick in some pussy sometime and realize that you are a fucking moron reading about how to get bitches, while guys like myself are getting the bitches.

Shut up. Seriously. Anyone out there who's written a book on seduction knows more about it than you or me.

Women are AFRAID most of the time of just coming out and saying something so abruptly. That's why it's important to USE UNDERHANDED TECHNIQUES. It's all men have in the fight for women.

I don't like it, you don't like it, and I'm sure Ford doesn't like it either, but IT WORKS, so just go with it. Learning to manipulate women is a lot more useful than bitching about how they suck.

What the fuck are you talking about? Guys who write about seduction have one thing in mind, getting pussy. Is that all you want? Do you want to treat women as possessions the rest of your life?

If you want to get off, using your hand is a lot cheaper and probably more effective. If you want a companion and someone who can trust with your deepest secrets, manipulation is not what you want to be using.

I am giving him real advice on how to get the answer to the question he desires. You are giving him advice on how to tell if the bitch wants to fuck him or not. You are a boy, a little boy with the mind of a child. Not all women mind being abrupt, and most of the time when men are forward it isn't with sincerity.

So keep your bullshit information to yourself, because you aren't helping him, and you aren't doing shit to change my mind. Do not use manipulation to try and win a girl's heart. Manipulation is a way to get a girl to fall in love with you for a night, compassion and sincerity is a way to get a woman to fall in love with you forever.

Wow! I didn't think the trolls would use argumentation (argument from authority in this case) and become supervillians anytime soon. Fucking awesome. Lol.

Other than that, tell the girl how you feel. Tell her you like her. If she doesn't like you, then move on to another girl. No girl is worth wasting a lot of time on. Unless you plan on fine-tuning your skills of manipulation.

If so, then you need more experience. Don't waste time getting no experience. Tell the girl how you feel, and if she rejects you, then move on.

^Well said.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

I don't like it, you don't like it, and I'm sure Ford doesn't like it either, but IT WORKS, so just go with it. Learning to manipulate women is a lot more useful than bitching about how they suck.

Damn straight.

Carbon, you did give decent advice if the OP is willing to risk his current friendship with the girl for a chance at a relationship.

I've been in the same exact situation multipule times and telling her straight can work and work quite well but there in no point risking a perfectly decent friend when the girl has clearly stated that she does not, at this current point want a relationship with him.

But whatever. You're probably just opposed to the idea of a book because of the inherent difficulty reading when you can't see the subject matter behind your bitch-tits.

-F☺rd

Incase you guys never figured it out, FRIENDSHIPS=WASTE OF TIME.

I don't have friends. I have more layaway girlfriends than friends.

I have girls lined up incase I feel like dating one. That's how I like to work.

Find girls to line up and date.

^That doesn't make sense? Since I am reading...right...this...moment...

Ugh...come on now OP, you are going to take the advice from this guy?

Please tell me the reason to maintain a friendship with a girl who you have no interest in sexually, or who has no interest in you sexually?

The only thing that is going to solve this issue is waiting for the OP to decide if he just wants pussy or if he wants an actual girlfriend he can care about. If it is the latter your advice is shit, just like your fat jokes. If it is the prior, then by all means try subtle manipulation.

It can work both ways. Sure, you need to find a way to get the girl to like you. You could straight out say you like her, but that depends on how she would react.

Perhaps the best thing a person can do is learn social psychology, manipulate the girl to like you more than she does right now, find places to have good times with her, and ask her out.

Afterwards, you can date her. But from there, you'll need to work getting sex from her. That takes at least a good safe four months.

You can start kissing her on the cheek, and then you can move to her mouth. But these things come only after hugging her for the first two weeks.

You've got to time things out and think things through.

^This is the advice if you want to fuck her. Which I don't condone. Sounds strange, but I don't really support fucking girls for only your enjoyment. Manipulation for a blowjob is one thing, but for sex? That is just asking to bring drama into your life.

Idiot (carbon), I gave a fork in the road. He doesn't have to do that. But it's an option to use her for sex later one. But I don't think he should use someone he wants to date for love instead of sex.

The guy simply needs to admit his feelings. If she doesn't want to date him, then he can still be her friend. However, I wouldn't suggest that. Sometimes people stay friends with love in their heart. I've done it before, and I don't recommend it. I never wanted sex from the girl; I wanted a relationship.

She eventually got married to some druggie who puts her off and keeps her lonely.

Admitting feelings is the best a person can do. It's best to do it while the person is single. Otherwise, doing it when the person is not single is a very bad idea.

Do it while she is single. That's all I've got to say.

Now why did you have to go and do that? Was I being insulting in any way? Did your feelings get hurt when I singled out your advice? Don't let me step on your ego buddy, I am sure you think you have real power because you can manipulate a 21 year old tramp. However a 21 one year old tramp, I am not.

Oh, and thank you for basically summing up all my previous posts in this thread. You truely were a great help in gaining the aptitude necessary to gauge his current situation. Praise Jesus, Genecks is here!

Fucking bitch. Try to show gratitude for someone contributing and this is what you get. Let's see how long this asshole lasts.

Your writing style obviously shows that you are a female. Otherwise, you're a whiny faggot.

Obviously shows that I am a female? I guess you don't know me, and if you know any women that write like me then you must not be in the game of manipulation women. But the one of manipulating men.

I love to see how you revert to calling me a whiney faggot after all this boasting about being a manipulative GOD! Please, bestow upon me your manipulative ways. If I truely am a female, or a whiney faggot, I should be short work for someone of your expertise correct?

What is up with this about you have to do these 'techniques' to manipulate a girl into liking you? We're talking about teenagers here, not experienced mid 30's who have been through it all. When you're young if you like someone you have to just go for it. If I really liked a girl this much i'm pretty sure the girl would be daft to push away the love.

It's not like she has some amazing relationship atm.

quote:Originally posted by Chinese Food52:

I know, I don't usually roll like that.

yer man im herin watch chu sayin dur.

Haha, so I wake up and it's turned into quite the battleground!



Anyways, to clear things up, normally if I liked someone, i'd come out with it no problem. But the fact is that I've already been shut down by her once a long time ago. Basically what I want to do is find out whether she's in to me without comming out and asking, because if she isn't, and I ask, then it'll get all weird.

Chances are, I'll end up getting sick of wondering, and probably just flat out and ask. But for the time being, I kind of want to find out without asking.

So any ideas on stuff I can do, to see if she recipricates?

Ask her to help you practice dancing or something else?

quote:Originally posted by Genecks:

GENECKS=WASTE OF TIME.



fixed :P

quote:Originally posted by Chinese Food52:

Haha, so I wake up and it's turned into quite the battleground!



Anyways, to clear things up, normally if I liked someone, i'd come out with it no problem. But the fact is that I've already been shut down by her once a long time ago. Basically what I want to do is find out whether she's in to me without comming out and asking, because if she isn't, and I ask, then it'll get all weird.

Chances are, I'll end up getting sick of wondering, and probably just flat out and ask. But for the time being, I kind of want to find out without asking.

So any ideas on stuff I can do, to see if she recipricates?



Don't ask her. That is going to be trouble for you and her. What you need to do is just express the way you feel about her, and let her respond with her own answer, not something that is restricted to yes or no. Also it isn't a big deal if she turns you down a second time. Why you might ask?

Simply because if she turns you down, you have now realized that this isn't the girl for you. Now you are free to go and talk to other girls without worrying about if there was ever a chance with this girl. Even if she wants to still be friends, it won't be weird. Just talk to her normally, but I would reccomend not hanging out with her that much. Do some idle chit chat bullshit on ocassion.

I see a few choices:

1) Ask her-

Upside: Very direct, to the point

Down: May make things weird for a bit.

2) Have a friend ask her like before-

Upside: passing third party conversation

Down: Childish

3)Ignore it-

Upside: Won't potentially ruin a great friendship

Down: Well, might kill you for a bit

4) Show more interest in her-

Upside: May show that you like her without t becoming awkward and give her time to like you if she does not and may let her make the first move

Down: Yield not certain.

Thanks for all the feedback and shit.

If I was to tell her that I liked her, how do you think would be the best way about going about it?

Probably something like "Hey, I sort of like you, a bit more than as a friend."

Update: So today we're sitting in class, and we started talking about 23(The movie with Jim Carrey), and I was all like, that one looked good I wanna see it. And she was all like me too, lets go see it. And now we've decided we're gunna go on thursday. See, now I don't know for sure if it's just gunna be me and her, or some friends. So far it sounds like just me and her, but I rememeber promising a couple of other friends I'd go with them.

But I don't know... so far I'm getting some pretty good vibes, so maybe next party or something, I'll see what happens. I'll try to keep you guys updated if you want.

i was reading on my way down because i usually like to see what direction a thread went in but

CarbonB and Rykoshet both have vaid points and

sry if one of you odnt agree with me but im speaking from my own expeiriences as rykoshet said manipulating weman does infact work to a certian extent... however just that alone will not get you some one you can count on it will get you that ass for the night, but if used correctly it will get you the answer you but u need to move forward from there with honesty and sincerity as carbonb was saying..

ultimaly my advice to you would be say things that would suggest that you like her or say things that might get her to hint at liking you, but i mean it depends on how comfortable

you are in saying flirting with this girl, its really kind of a game you have to acces the cituation and act accordingly, i wish i could give u less vague information but i dont know you or this girl very well.. but i hoped i helped you out with this man best of luck to you

They both have points.. but really, each idea comes down to the individual involved.