I mean is it easy to get into if you've never done it, is it enjoyable once you get going, how many times do you have to do it before you know what you're doing and no-one will be able to recognise you're a noob to it all, etc..

basically, what is it like

The computer is a wonderful thing isn't it. You couldn't ask these questions when I grew up becuase you would have to ask a person face to face and that wasn't going to happen. Kid give it time and let it unfold

Sex is overrated.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Sex is overrated.



This is true.

there's alot of "fapping" noises

and if you listen closely you'll hear *pew pew* too

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Sex is overrated.





It can be, but that's mostly due to motherfuckers wondering how great it is and then hearing too much hype.

It's a good time, provided there isn't some horrible mishap or some horrible drip or fetus to come from it afterwards.

It's like this:



FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

Sex is gooooooooooood. Especially when you haven't had it for a while, and it's all spontaneous.

it must suck to watch a porno and not know what it feels like to get laid....

Feels like masterbating without your hands while grabbing boobs.

But what do boobs feel like?!

quote:Originally posted by jai614:

there's alot of "fapping" noises

and if you listen closely you'll hear *pew pew* too

FAP FAP FAP PEW FAP PEW PEW FAP FAP

(jerking it to star wars)

Yeah, I was in sixth grade once too. Someone told me that pussy tastes like battery acid. I don't know what kind of girl he was with, nor do I know why he had tasted battery acid, but I think it's safe to say that that is completely false.

[This message has been edited by jojabr (edited 02-27-2007).]

It's a lot like eating KFC (or Kentucky Fried Chicken).

It's great while you are eating it, afterwards you wonder why you thought it would be great, and the longer you go without it, the more you want it.

Seriously though, it's fun, not that hard to work out how to do, yet you'll always want to go just that little bit further, and be kicking yourself you didn't try.

Just remember - it's not usually like in a porno. Just take your time the first time, relax, and don't stress too much.

quote:Originally posted by jojabr:

FAP FAP FAP PEW FAP PEW PEW FAP FAP

(jerking it to star wars)

Yeah, I was in sixth grade once too. Someone told me that pussy tastes like battery acid. I don't know what kind of girl he was with, nor do I know why he had tasted battery acid, but I think it's safe to say that that is completely false.



i was told that girls glow after sex.

i never made a chick glow

success anyone?

Girls DO glow after succesful sex!

At least if you sexor them real well, then move on to give oral and have it end in orgasm. Trust me, a girl who've you've just given a clitoris kinda orgasm is gonna be really in love with you for a minute or two. It's pretty cool seeing that smile on their face.

I'm gonna ask my gf to marry me right after giving her oral, that way there's no way I'm getting a no.

quote:Originally posted by Solidus:

But what do boobs feel like?!

Like, uh, a bag of sand.

quote:Originally posted by B-Phaze:

I'm gonna ask my gf to marry me right after giving her oral, that way there's no way I'm getting a no.

That's a low blow, and I don't mean the proposal part.

quote:Originally posted by B-Phaze:

Girls DO glow after succesful sex!

At least if you sexor them real well, then move on to give oral and have it end in orgasm. Trust me, a girl who've you've just given a clitoris kinda orgasm is gonna be really in love with you for a minute or two. It's pretty cool seeing that smile on their face.

I'm gonna ask my gf to marry me right after giving her oral, that way there's no way I'm getting a no.

TF?

i'm talkin' bout glowing in the dark and shit.

only the alien ones

quote:Originally posted by jai614:

there's alot of "fapping" noises

and if you listen closely you'll hear *pew pew* too

does your girlfriend keep a laser in there?

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

does your girlfriend keep a laser in there?

It's a spermicidal laser, so it's cool.

quote:Originally posted by akiratheoni:

Like, uh, a bag of sand.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

does your girlfriend keep a laser in there?

quote:Originally posted by Can O Soup:

It's a spermicidal laser, so it's cool.

GUYZ IT'S THE EJACULATION SOUND-FX

Haha. Read the epic of gilgamesh, the part on Enkidu. Speaking of chicks glowing after sex; this one time I fucked my girlfriend and when we went down stairs for dinner, at her parents house, I looked over at her and noticed that she was fucking glowing man, she was like smiling and just oozing with glow. I was just like 'aww fuck' and turned my head down like a dog that did something bad because I knew her parents noticed it. her mom looked mad at her and her dad seemed to be amused by it, he was smiling. haah

quote:Originally posted by jai614:

i was told that girls glow after sex.

i never made a chick glow

success anyone?

Mine glowed so brightly I lost my eyesight.

quote:Originally posted by Mirbeau:

Haha. Read the epic of gilgamesh, the part on Enkidu. Speaking of chicks glowing after sex; this one time I fucked my girlfriend and when we went down stairs for dinner, at her parents house, I looked over at her and noticed that she was fucking glowing man, she was like smiling and just oozing with glow. I was just like 'aww fuck' and turned my head down like a dog that did something bad because I knew her parents noticed it. her mom looked mad at her and her dad seemed to be amused by it, he was smiling. haah

Hahahaha.

IT'S AWFUL! The female fagina is filled with thousands of razor sharp teeth that shred and tear at your tender penis as you insert it. They're retractable, so you don't notice them at first. God help you if one of the she devils manages to entrap you in her evil, evil cootch.

quote:Originally posted by B-Phaze:

Girls DO glow after succesful sex!

At least if you sexor them real well, then move on to give oral and have it end in orgasm. Trust me, a girl who've you've just given a clitoris kinda orgasm is gonna be really in love with you for a minute or two. It's pretty cool seeing that smile on their face.

I'm gonna ask my gf to marry me right after giving her oral, that way there's no way I'm getting a no.

Try a nice round of vaginal orgasms (the last few forced on her through cries of "oh god not more"), and finish off with a vag/clit combo.

If you aren't a God on earth to that woman after that, she's obviously a heathen and a homosexual.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Sex is overrated.



This is impossible. Its the single greatest thing on earth. Better than drugs any day.

quote:Originally posted by grungekid:

Better than drugs any day.

LOL!

Orgasm is just a weak opiate rush...