a little background information: we've been going out for a week but we've known each other for like 2 years. when i asked her out, we were in a movie theater with a few other people and she wouldnt give me an answer. so later i asked her why and she said there were too many people around. so the next day i asked her again and she was like suuuure.

now when we hang out, she never even like sits by me. we've held hands before, but only when no one else is around. she really doesnt even act like she likes me, but she doesnt even know it.

take last night for example.

we all went to a friends house to hang out and watch movies. so we turned on saw III and she wouldnt sit by me the whole time. whenever i sat by her, she moved to go sit with this other girl. the other girl also has liked me for a long time. idk why but she wont stop liking me.

now shes saying its cuz her and the other girl both hate scary/gory movies so she wanted to sit by her instead of me. she also said it wouldve been weird if she sat with me because the other girl still liked me and wouldve been sad.

its like she doesnt understand how people act when theyre going out. i think i need to write her a n00b guide on how to be a girlfriend.

She sounds like a big ass pussy who's afraid of what other people will think of her if she sits near you or shows any public affection, or it could be this, its a bit harsh but she might be embarassed to be seen with you, talk to the ho about it and tell her that its completely alright for gf and bf to show public affection to each other around other people, fuck what other people think. Good luck man.

seems like she doesn't wanna go out with you pal, sorry :/

quote:Originally posted by launchpad:

seems like she doesn't wanna go out with you pal, sorry :/

shes scared im gonna dump her.

she also thinks this is a really dumb reason for me to get mad about.

She's self-concious and cares about what other people may think.

Either you care and be understanding, or you don't.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

She's self-concious and cares about what other people may think.

Either you care and be understanding, or you don't.

i try. but its kinda hard when she never shows any affection and i look like a dumbass and everyones going wtf? arent you going out with her?? why wont she sit with you?!?

quote:Originally posted by Tentative:

1) shes scared im gonna dump her.

2)she also thinks this is a really dumb reason for me to get mad about.

dude, she's a dumb cunt and you're being manipulated.

ok she said quote #1 to give you an illusion of control, and make oyu feel like you're in a higher position in the relationship. if she didn't expressly say that, i'm sure she's acting "scared" to purposefully give you that impression.

quote #2, she's trying to guilt trip you/ make you second guess yourself into ignoring a BIG FUCKING PROBLEM with her.

there's no excuse for her to act that way if she's legit.

most likely, she's immature, probably a whore, and going out with you to be "going out with someone"

try inviting her over so it's jsut the 2 of you watching a movie or something. or go on a date. don't do everything in groups. i'd say, go to dinner, and see how she is in public around you, but not around people she knows. then take her to your place and watch a movie, and see how she is there. and then maybe talk to her about it, and try to get a reason why.

quote:Originally posted by Tentative:

i try. but its kinda hard when she never shows any affection and i look like a dumbass and everyones going wtf? arent you going out with her?? why wont she sit with you?!?

So who is dating her? You or everyone? Sounds like both of you give a shit more about what other people think, feel, and do than each other. You both deserve to die. And by die I mean by face cancer.

Maybe shes embarrassed of you?

Asking her out in public is a weak move by the way..

This one may have already gotten away with you unless you get some alone time in there. Also I dont mean sex (for now), I mean time to sort yourselves out. Youre probably as much of a noob as she is.. Its harder (maybe less "true/real") to organize your relationship among friends. Sounds like misunderstood puppy love.. However what the hell do I really know..

How old are you?

15.

Swallow your pride for the moment and arrange for you two to do some things on your own. Rent movies or some such thing where there isn't anybody else involved.

You want to get to know her on another level and all that good stuff. Talk to her about doing things outside of a group environment.

She's not ready. And scared of what people will think.

quote:Originally posted by Tentative:

15.

Grow up.

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

Grow up.

k, i'll get right on that...



quote:Originally posted by Father Time:

She's not ready. And scared of what people will think.

mhm.

Do something alone with her. Does she show affection? If so, is it very reluctant/minimal? If no to #1, or yes to #2, I don't think she really likes you. If she is different when alone, however, it might be shyness.

there could be several reasons as to her "odd" behavior of not sitting next to you during the movie. she could A. not like the movie and her friend could have disliked them aswell an wanted to be conforted, ive seen it with several of my mates. or the could be situation B, the girls myabe only likes you as a friend and is scared that breaking up with you could breake your heart and destroy your two year friend ship.

when we're alone she'll cuddle and hold hands and stuff.

but then when theres other people around, its like she avoids me or something. i just found out that she said she thinks holding hands or cuddling in front of other people is embarassing.

Am I the only one who thinks that seeing "Saw III" with a new girlfriend is a BAD idea... Fuck.

She's just a little unsure about herself that's all. She must be like 14 or 15 and you must be her first boyfriend so I guess it must be completely normal. Just be patient, keep pleasing her in every way she wants and hopefully affection will pop out of the blue just like that. Then you'll see how much she'd want to be with you the whole fucked up time.

I'm telling you this because it happened to me.

[This message has been edited by Maggotote (edited 02-25-2007).]

I dont think I could be with someone who was embaressed to be seen as my girlfriend. I know that a lot of people aren't into public shows of affection, but sitting beside someone isnt exactly indecent exposure.

quote:Originally posted by Maggotote:

She's just a little unsure about herself that's all. She must be like 14 or 15 and you must be her first boyfriend so I guess it must be completely normal. Just be patient, keep pleasing her in every way she wants and hopefully affection will pop out of the blue just like that. Then you'll see how much she'd want to be with you the whole fucked up time.

I'm telling you this because it happened to me.



yeah shes 15 and im actually her 2nd boyfriend.

her first one, she hardly even talked to him and now hes the biggest druggie in our entire fucking school.

middle school can be so complicated....

It depends how you want this to go, really. People tend to open up over time and get slowly more comfortable with you.

Or you could stop seeing her. It sounds like an easy decision but you have to think what's best for YOU.

It's all part of the experience, for you and her. Your both young, inexperienced, and just feeling out the waters, so to speak.

Just go with the flow, I say. I remember what it was like at that age. Girls were scary, and were never quite sure about what to do next. She probably feels the same way about you.

If you were both 5 years older, I'd say just dump her and move on. But your not, so just have fun, and try not to get too hung up on her. It's hard, I know, but just one of those things you'll have to learn the hard way.

Remember, some of us on here are older, and don't mind answering questions if you have any.....

She's embarassed of you, and she's a fucking idiot. Dump her.

My ex was like that, but after being together in public so much she got used to the idea of that. I think your gf is much, much, more shy than my ex so I don't know what else to say.

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:



She's embarassed of you, and she's a fucking idiot. Dump her.

QFT

"If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend"

Too immature for a relationship maybe..

Girls are goofy. Just don't get too put off by it. "Loose interest" and see if she might respond better then. If not well I guess its "lets just be friends".

She's probably like I am, except to a bit more extreme. I wont kiss my girlfriend or even really hug when there' salot of people around. Not only that but i can be very quiet. When we're alone though, we fool around , talk, and have alot of fun. She's ok and understanding of it though, and we're mostly alone anyway. Try getting her alone and see how it turns out.

sounds like she doesn't really like you... may have said yes out of pity and or shock.

I've had this happen to me before its the worst ever.

If she is your girlfriend, she should show affection to you, if not... something is wrong, and she isn't your girlfriend.

quote:Originally posted by Tentative:

15.

lol...

quote:Originally posted by camper velourium:

dude, she's a dumb cunt and you're being manipulated.

ok she said quote #1 to give you an illusion of control, and make oyu feel like you're in a higher position in the relationship. if she didn't expressly say that, i'm sure she's acting "scared" to purposefully give you that impression.

quote #2, she's trying to guilt trip you/ make you second guess yourself into ignoring a BIG FUCKING PROBLEM with her.

there's no excuse for her to act that way if she's legit.

most likely, she's immature, probably a whore, and going out with you to be "going out with someone"



very excellent quote if i might say... couldn't have said it better myself

quote:Originally posted by Cpt.Winters:

sounds like she doesn't really like you... may have said yes out of pity and or shock.

I've had this happen to me before its the worst ever.

If she is your girlfriend, she should show affection to you, if not... something is wrong, and she isn't your girlfriend.

Just don't listen to this nonsense and stupidity.

She is young and inmature, completely normal and completely obvious. You don't have to be a pro to know that. Just continue to get along with her, do whatever you can to proceed with your relationship.

She must be really shy and quiet I guess but that won't be a problem I'm sure eventually she will change her attitude you'll see. There must be a good reason why she accepted to date you.