If you were following my "Downward Spiral" thread, I had been basically struggling with the idea of opening myself up, or just staying in the reserved and shallow place that I am now. I'm lately wondering if I even have a choice, now that I think about it.

This week I made a move on a girl that had a crush on me for the entire year. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, so I figured this was a decent time to start something casual. Things started, but then she left abruptly. I was stumped, angry, and for a while I was in more of a "vengeful" state than anything. Just one of many personality flaws, I suppose...

Anyways, the other night we put everything on the table and talked about it all in plain English (or as close as you can come with a female). She has been regularly hooking up with some other guy (a guy I've always considered to be a real obnoxious twat), and it seems that's the main problem. It isn't a serious relationship, but they are "seriously" hooking up...ie, fucking. She still wanted to hang out and such...though I told her I honestly couldn't go out with her as a friend and sit there while she hooks up with this other guy.

I told her that I wasn't really going to just wait there, as though I were just waiting for her to be done with the twat...but that I was still waiting in some sense. In other words, I'm not just going to sit tight, but I am and will be single.

I then told her that I would miss her and I would see her around, and then I left.

Now:

Unless I truly did manage to turn her off to me (two of our mutual friends said that she thought I was too quiet), I think that she is still into me, but I need to get to know her more. I guess I'd need to give her a reason to stop fucking the twat.

This is where I hit a brick wall though. I don't know how to build whatever type of connection she's probably looking for. I can talk to her and stuff, but I guess in the end it's all small talk. I played my cards in having her hang out with me, and then hooking up (though as I said, she left abruptly after about 10 minutes of making out).

I can't pretend that she's particularly important to me now...I barely know her. I can set my sights on someone else today and she'll just shift to the back of my mind. However, I do still want to be with her. This might sound a bit fucked up, but...I feel that she's something I could and should have.

So...again, I find myself at this brick wall in regards to this girl. Ideally I'd be hoping to "get to know her more" (that's such a vague, generic expression), and then we'd gradually end up hanging out again over the next couple weeks, and then I'd be able to have the upper hand. But where do I start with the whole "get to know each other more" bullshit? I truly need to be walked through this, sadly.



[This message has been edited by DerDrache (edited 02-25-2007).]

She sounds like a slag.

Wants to fuck about with some asshole, but wants you to stick around and wait for her?



..And would you really want her sloppy seconds?

Or would it be thirds. Or fourths?



Set your sights higher. Even if you dont like you, lots of other people will. The fact you're socializing at all counts for alot and you dont have to be a hugely big mouthed arrogant noisy outgoing twat to get people interested in you.

quote:Originally posted by DerDrache:

I do still want to be with her. This might sound a bit fucked up, but...I feel that she's something I could and should have.

Be less goal-oriented. There doesn't need to be a plan or an ideal; just indulge in whatever comes to mind and have fun.

If you were a completely different person, I'd give you more advice.

Oh, and women aren't things. Oranges are things, and I'm going to eat one right now.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

She sounds like a slag.

Wants to fuck about with some asshole, but wants you to stick around and wait for her?



..And would you really want her sloppy seconds?

Or would it be thirds. Or fourths?



Set your sights higher. Even if you dont like you, lots of other people will. The fact you're socializing at all counts for alot and you dont have to be a hugely big mouthed arrogant noisy outgoing twat to get people interested in you.



I don't know if she expected me to wait for her, but I told her I wasn't.

I mean, I think I probably would still be interested in her later on, but heh, it's not like I'm gonna be checking up with their relationship to see when I can pop in.

I actually even used the phrase "seconds", haha.

Euda:

Yeah, good idea. I'm actually feeling 10x better right now...she really fucked around with my mind with all of her antics.

You probably dont need someone that fucked in the head messing with you right now, especially if you're feeling rather insecure or not quite mentally with it.

Find yourself a quiet geeky girl who reads manga and quotes really bad anime alot of the time. She may be fucked up, but not in a way that will harm you.