Theres this girl in my psychology class and she's perfect, she's into all the same kind of stuff as me e.g music the kind of people we hang out with etc. She wants to study music and wants to be do the music for video games and shes quite the video game connesour. We just started talking in class and we never run out of stuff to talk about, I really like her. But she seems really shy in general and seems to have low self esteem.

I've only spoken to her for about a week or two during class and at gigs that we both go to.

I was planning to get to kno her a bit more and maybe ask her out some time soon.

so I guess my question is has anyone had experience asking out shy girls and getting to know them?

Sounds like you're already in, just ask her.

I want to but I think it would be wierd to ask her after just speaking to her for a week or so, not stalkerish but just a bit odd.

im currently dating a girl who was shy at first, get to know her...

hang out with her and her friends as a big group outing

ask her what kinda movies she likes / ask if she wants to see one with you

talking and getting to know one another over AIM or an instant messanger is a good ice breaker for this type of thing

-the AIM one was what did it for me, than talking over the phone and a movie led to a relationship

btw... just be nice / personable. if you have stuff in common make sure she knows it, and it should go smoothly

she sounds fugly

So your going to attempt to get me angry and started an aguement so this thread gets hijacked, butr you are a sad fuck with nothing better to do than try and annoy people ove the internet so in conclusiopn you are a mongoloid and after this I'm not going to validate you with a response.

she already seems to like you, and if she is shy, she prolly wont ever ask you out, no matter how much she likes you. all you have to do is ask. really simple i think.

good luck.

I'm gonna wait a bit so it doesnt seem wierd after only a week or so of talking to her.

I've actually never really asked a girl out only been asked out myself or had one of those things where it just kind of happens...

I'm gonna wait for the right moment, we often go to the same gigs to see local bands on a saturday, so I'll ask her if she wants to go for a drink after one of those.

I can't wait.

[This message has been edited by Stiffmajj The Giant (edited 02-24-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by doct0r_4rmo:

she sounds fugly

I've known hot 14 year old girls that are into Star Trek, D&D, and listen to Rush...Extremely rare, yes, but possible none the less.

quote:Originally posted by Byss:

I've known hot 14 year old girls that are into Star Trek, D&D, and listen to Rush...Extremely rare, yes, but possible none the less.

this would make my life complete minus the star trek

I don't know man ive been in the same boat you are a few times and I waited a little while and before i knew it was to late. ie she started goin out with someone else or you just grow apart, i wouldnt wait too long man, its better to just go for it, i think

quote:Originally posted by Stiffmajj The Giant:

But she seems really shy in general and seems to have low self esteem.



If you really do like her, you'd fucking ask her out by now. By that sentence I have quoted above, she is in danger of living the rest of her life with some asshole that will use her and, probably, beat her. If you really really really like her, you'd prevent all that from happenning by asking her out before some asshole with a false sense of confidence does.

fuck me..i wish that girl was in my psychology class... I assume you dont go to a boarding school in suffolk??

No, sorry!

In reply to postdivilium: she left her old school because this guy she went out with apparently tried to force her into sex and theres this whole akward background which I've purpousfully ignored and not listened because you know how these things can become full of lies and rumours and I like her now in the present so I really don't give a fck about it.

I know she's going to the same gig as me this weekend so I'll ask her if she wants to go for a drink afterwards. Can't wait

I don't even like the bands playing but I'm still gonna go.

Fuck... she is going out with someone already but only since about a week ago, the thing is they are friends and the guy apparently is really worried about screwing up a friendship and according to most people it's not serious at all.

I think I'm gonns still try because my feelings for her have only really grown, and she also gave me a really nice compliment about a gig I sang at... so I think there's a chance from the signals I've read so far

I think I'm just gonna have to bide my time and watch the game and know when to make my main move...

what would you do in my situation?

Maybe there's something in your psychology textbook about this.

quote:Originally posted by Drox:

Maybe there's something in your psychology textbook about this.

now there's an idea

I'd say just go for it, stop overthinking it.

You've been speaking enough, just ask her.

And flirt more, don't just talk, flirt.

quote:Originally posted by InTheShadows00:

I don't know man ive been in the same boat you are a few times and I waited a little while and before i knew it was to late. ie she started goin out with someone else or you just grow apart, i wouldnt wait too long man, its better to just go for it, i think

I have to agree. I've missed the window of opportunity many times, and it's horrible afterwards, because you know you could have had her if you'd taken the chance. To be honest, your biggest danger is becoming too familiar and falling into the dreaded "friends" pile from which there is no escape... It's best to go for it while it's fresh and new and exciting.

Just ask her out for coffee, or to study or something.

It's not a date, so she shouldn't say no, but it's still alone time with her.

And if she does happen to say no, then nothing should change, because you weren't asking her out on a date as such. You could try again in a couple of weeks.

Just don't make it into a big deal, and you'll be fine.

Since they have been going out she has kind of been giving off mixed signals now...

One day she's all nice and complemented me on something, then she completely avoided eye contact and conversation and today she's all fine and we're cool.



looks like I'm gonna have to be a gossipy little bitch and keep all my finger in all the gossip pies and wait for the right timing.

naw dont do that just be straight up.. your gonna turn yourself into a creeper man haha.. just ask her if shed like to go talk to you over some coffee or some shit like that other guy said, something nice and casual.. while there ask her what she thinks of you.. if she answers in a not getting your drift kind of way repeat it in laymans terms. from here good or not so good.. but its a good place to really start eh..

edit: actually you might just do that in class depending.. but uh come out with it..

[This message has been edited by thendoftheline (edited 03-07-2007).]

I 'member back in highschool there was this really shy girl there was absolutely nothing spectacular about her, but I was attracted to her, so I asked if I could take her out and she got upset because she thought it was a joke

Invite her to play some video games?

quote:Originally posted by Stiffmajj The Giant:

So your going to attempt to get me angry and started an aguement so this thread gets hijacked, butr you are a sad fuck with nothing better to do than try and annoy people ove the internet so in conclusiopn you are a mongoloid and after this I'm not going to validate you with a response.

You won.

Yeah it sounds like you're pretty much in, just keep it up. Shy girls just take more time, make sure you ask her out in a creative way too. Otherwise I've noticed they don't really take to it as well for some reason.

Knee her in the throat.

She could just be giving you mixed signals because she is shy. People with a low self-esteem will try to avoid letting someone else know they have feeling for them for fear of the embarrassment or w/e, so her not making eye contact could be just her self-esteem issues coming through.

So the moral of the story is, just ask her now before it's too late.

Like I said before it is a bit too late, she's going out with a guy that she's been friends with for a while but they are not close at all and hardly ever hang out with each other, and he is a lot smaller than her spotty and has really thivk glasses but plays guitar like a madman.

I don't want to attempt to try and break a relationship buty I really want to ask her out.

It's a dilemna because the guy is really good friends with good friends of mine.

I just ate a jar of "Sweet Pickled Onions", 850 grams, then I drank the juice, now my stomach hurts :

That's really nice man....



now fuck off.

quote:Originally posted by Stiffmajj The Giant:

That's really nice man....



now fuck off.

What is his name?

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

I just ate a jar of "Sweet Pickled Onions", 850 grams, then I drank the juice, now my stomach hurts :

Was it the one, with the stork on it? The mailman?

quote:Originally posted by Stiffmajj The Giant:

I want to but I think it would be wierd to ask her after just speaking to her for a week or so, not stalkerish but just a bit odd.



nothing really odd. just you're curious, maybe quite more than usual. deal with it or ask her out xD. now make up your mind. maybe she likes your hippy ass? who knows.

You have to be patient and engaging with a shy person. It's often worth it.

ask her to come play your new zelda game after school.

srsly

orrrjust ask her to hang out, then ask her out, then poof!

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

You have to be patient and engaging with a shy person. It's often worth it.

I know, behind the shy exterior theres almost always a really great person, I'm willing to take the time.

go up to her in class and offer to eat her asshole out....no, usually really shy girls are really good girls, if you drink/smoke/drugs they will usually shy away or try to change you which might be unwelcomed by you. They may also be very clingy for a very long time and think you are cheating if you are not with her(i have experienced all of this before) But, thats probably the worst possible scenerio, so now that you are informed, go for it!

and instead of saying the cliche "will you go out with me?" Try walking up to her and say "hey, here is my number, call me if you want to go get some food or go see a movie sometime" and then wait, I guarantee she will call, she will see your confidence and interest and not feel pressured by you asking. and if she wants to do a group thing, definetly take the offer, she wants to get to know you more and see what her friends think about you before agreeing to go somewhere just with you.

You don't want to ask her in an open-ended way, because she'll feel pressured and will likely withdraw. Why don't you try something along the lines of "I really want to see X Movie, would you like to see it with me?" If she's talking to you all through class she's probably more than willing to spend an afternoon with you.

It's not the confidence that's the issue, it's the wole her having a boyfriend I know she doesn't romanticly like, but likes as a friend but he's a close friend of some of my good friends and I don't want to fuck up a friendship.

Why didn't you say she had a boyfriend in the first place you cock? Eat shit and kill yourself...then post pix

I withdrawl my previous advise because you need to find someone in your league, then I'll help you.

Page 2!!

quote:Originally posted by Stiffmajj The Giant:

Like I said before it is a bit too late, she's going out with a guy that she's been friends with for a while but they are not close at all and hardly ever hang out with each other, and he is a lot smaller than her spotty and has really thivk glasses but plays guitar like a madman.

I don't want to attempt to try and break a relationship buty I really want to ask her out.

It's a dilemna because the guy is really good friends with good friends of mine.

Blaydes maybe if you read the fucking thread, you'd not make a dumbass out of yourself...

quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:

If you really do like her, you'd fucking ask her out by now. By that sentence I have quoted above, she is in danger of living the rest of her life with some asshole that will use her and, probably, beat her. If you really really really like her, you'd prevent all that from happenning by asking her out before some asshole with a false sense of confidence does.

unless there's an off chance that you're that type of person, in which case stay the fuck away.

i would love to find someone as nerdy as i am (but decent looking). hope all goes well.