I'm really sick of people saying "All you need is confidence". Yes, it'll help if you're naturally meek, but what it really ends up doing is sending guys out who aren't actually any better candidates for a girl, just pretentious pricks.

What they should be doing instead is improving themselves so they'll, gasp, actually be more attractive as a partner. IE, get smarter, or at least more learned, work out, have interesting things to talk about.

It sickens me. I constantly see these guys who have clearly read some shit David DeAngelo book about how if you act like you're the shit, they'll be all over you. Well, maybe really, really stupid chicks will, but the rest will see right through it. I've seen it a thousand times. Some guy ends up bragging and makes himself seem like a complete ass, or making the girl uncomfortable.

What's better than having to bluff in poker? Actually having a goddamn good hand!

If you sell ice cream, people who like ice cream will like you by association.

Confidence works if you have the looks^h^h^h^h^h money to back it up.

-deus-

[This message has been edited by deus-redux (edited 02-22-2007).]

Of course it's != getting chicks. What a stupid way to express yourself. Getting chicks is getting chicks, and things can't be mathematically equal to it at all. The noly equation you could use in that situation would be something like... "confidence" >< "path to getting chicks".

Some kids these days...

Intelligence? Being better learned?

These things have nothing to do with getting girls, hell.. my friend whos what might be called a "natural" is far from being either of those two things.

What does he have? Confidence and charisma.

You're saying about the bragging and acting like an asshole? From what I've read of DeAngelo's stuff, he actively discourages bragging.. it is not just confidence that helps, it is being funny.. being able to tease a girl by saying something like "you're just after my body," with a sly smirk on your face brings a new energy about things.

Confidence works wonders, the low self esteem, hunched postured guy never gets anywhere. One of the important thing that David D teaches is a form a flirting and that is the cocky/funny teasing system. Sure, you can be an interestng guy and sit and have a good conversation with someone, perhaps connect on different levels but by doing that you'll not necessarily have any sort of "chemistry" that makes a girl go "WOW.".

And to be honest it's often the really intelligent girls that like this sort of thing. The confidence thing is natural, teasing a girl can be fun and pose a different energy.. acting like a completely arrogant asshole will only get a few girls to like you.

Jesus Christ, I didn't mean anything mathematical. I just meant that being confident doesn't necessarily get you chicks.

And your friend has charisma, which is very important, but not confidence. Isn't confidence just believing in yourself and being more outgoing? I totally believe having charisma and being funny will get girls to like you, but if you don't have anything else, confidence just makes you worse.

Oh, and if you don't think that being intelligent, learned, and interesting will give you a leg up with girls, you're talking to the wrong ones. Some girls will go with a guy simply because he's clever, or smart, not to mention that he would use those things to get her.

quote:Originally posted by Graah:

Oh, and if you don't think that being intelligent, learned, and interesting will give you a leg up with girls, you're talking to the wrong ones. Some girls will go with a guy simply because he's clever, or smart, not to mention that he would use those things to get her.

Tell that to all the geeks out there.

quote:Originally posted by Agent 008:

Tell that to all the geeks out there.



Ah, but you see, they lack confidence.

I think that the only way you're going to get with a girl that is right for you is if you just find her. It's no good asking random girls out, you'll know when the right one comes along, becuase it won't be difficult or awkward. You'll know when you really, really click with someone becuase that's when you can just be yourself. And by being yourself still engage and interest them. Basically, it's all about being different. Having something that no one else does.

quote:Originally posted by Agent 008:

Tell that to all the geeks out there.

I don't think their problem is even a lack of confidence, I think it's cause they flaunt their geekiness. I mean, I code C++, work on electronics for fun, play cello, do chemistry for fun, and am president of the school's math club, but I still have a non-geek girlfriend. It's just how much of your life you let it take.

Some chicks even like meek guys, though they're rare.

And Euda, I don't understand how your analogy is applicable. I suppose the guys who act really confident are the ice cream sellers...what is the ice cream?

The basis for all success, is confidence. So shut the fuck up.

you are correct...

people who have a "good hand" never have to worry about this stuff

quote:Originally posted by Graah:

Oh, and if you don't think that being intelligent, learned, and interesting will give you a leg up with girls, you're talking to the wrong ones. Some girls will go with a guy simply because he's clever, or smart, not to mention that he would use those things to get her.

Charisma and confidence are inherently entwined. Being outgoing and interesting is all part of being confident. I think your problem lies with flat out arrogance, which I can understad.

At times, it helps to be intelligent and learned but I still say confidence rules over this every time. If you are confident, you are much more likely to be interesting and that at the end of the day is what girls really want.

Take the "natural" friend of mine as an example.. we had to teach him what square roots are, but he never has a problem with girls.

If I end up with the same number of girls in my lifetime that he does in a year, I will be a very happy man. Not to mention most of them are very tasty.