My girlfriend...I love her. So much that I told her that if it was something she needed to make her happy, she should do something that I knew would hurt me. I thought I could handle it...I didn't know it'd hurt as much as it does.

She's bi. So am I. I told her that if she needed to sleep with a woman in order to be happy, than she should...I told her I could handle it. I didn't fucking know it'd hurt like this...I didn't fucking know.

My body feels drained, my mind confused, and my emotions are centered around sorrow and pain. I handled it fine until a thought hit me, the thought that I'm not enough for her to be happy with. I don't want to try to force her to be someone she's not; if she needs both man and woman to be happy, then that is what she needs to do...but I'm not the right man for her to be with if that's what she needs.

I don't want to break up with her...but I feel like I have to. I love her...but I love myself too...and while I can deal with most any personality quirk she has, I can't put myself through this continuously just so she will be happy.

I've been sober for half a year...not a single fucking craving since I got out of rehab until last night. I want some smack, some coke, and a good quart of rum...I feel fucking useless.

Part of me says I'm over-reacting...that I should see this as an oppurtunity for a threesome or some similar bullshit...but I don't. I don't want a fucking threesome; I was entirely happy with the relationship between the two of us...and it hurts like hell that she wasn't.

What say you, SnA? Am I over-reacting?

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

What say you, SnA? Am I over-reacting?

You would be if she were straight, and this were just a bit of curisity. But she's bi, she can form an emotional bond with this girl.

So no, you're not over reacting.

You said you told her she can do this, right? Are you saying she wouldn't have if you didn't tell her she can?

So tell her how it's effected you. That it's hurt more than you expected it to. That you'd like to take back what you said and that you'd appreciate if she'd stop the relations with females.

Is this a possibility?

*edit*

Stay away from opiates, coke/meth and alcohol etc.

If you MUST use drugs as a crutch, then use something like weed (get some hash or budder, the strong shit). If that doesn't work, maybe some benzos (I know they're not entirely harmless, but they allow you to function perfectly normal).

But your best bet is to avoid drugs man, and it's good to see that you know that.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 02-19-2007).]

It's a possibility...but what I see it as, right now, is this:

a) She can never be with a female again and feel fucking crappy for being someone she's not to be with me

or

b) She can continue seeing women along with me, making me feel hurt on a continuous basis

or

c) I can break it off, both of us will be hurt for awhile, and we can move on

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

a) She can never be with a female again and feel fucking crappy for being someone she's not to be with me

Just because she's bisexual and can form emotional relationships with both sexes doesn't mean she HAS to have an existing relationship with both sexes.

I don't see it as a "Male and female" thing. I see it as a "Male and/OR female".

You';re bi, right? You don't need males. Is she stopping you from being who you want to be? No.

You just gave her some freedom, and she used it. Almost any one would, plus, females by nature are just more bisexual.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

b) She can continue seeing women along with me, making me feel hurt on a continuous basis

No. This shouldn't be an option. Have more self respect/dignity. I'm sure she's an awesome person, but...it's not worth it, is it? Surely you'd turn back to drugs, look how much THIS is cutting you up inside. Imagine when she cancels on you for a girl, or something like that.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

c) I can break it off, both of us will be hurt for awhile, and we can move on

An option. But should be a last resort.

Did she ask you if she could be with girls? Or was it your suggestion? You realize if she didn't ask for it, she was probably very content with you.

Basically, on point A, just because she's bi doesn't mean she NEEDS to be with girls. It just means it's a possibility.

Tell her how much it's hurting you because you didn't realize how much you care for her. Ask her if she understands where you're coming from. Then ask her if she'd be okay going back to a monogamous relationship. Any girl you want to spend your life with will say yes.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 02-19-2007).]

What I said, specifically to her, after many comments from her about wanting to be able to fool around with women while she was with me was this, "If it's something you have to do to be happy, then go ahead and do it. I can handle it."

It wasn't just like, "Sleep with any girl you want to for whatever reason...I don't mind open relationships."

1. You let her

2. You love her

Don't break up just yet.

Live and learn. You didn't know, now you know. Talk to her about how you feel and that you don't think it's smart for it to happen again. See what she says, she might think it's no big deal. She might've just been having a craving for some pussy.

If she absolutely has to be with a woman again or else create a void in her soul, then splitting up may be an option. If the problem in unsolvable it's time to break up.

Most likely you'll be able to come to an agreement. It doesn't seem to me (from what you posted) that you're anywhere near doomed. Love can withstand everything, you might hurt now, but that's temporary.

Are you both real bisexuals?

Or are you a straight guy who likes cock, and her a straight girl who likes pussy? (That makes sense to me)

Bisexuals form both emotional and physical attractions.

Straight people can form physical attractions with the same sex.

If she just thinks females are attractive, and doesn't mind munching a bit of rug, then shrug it off. If it's the emotional love making sex, mmm, yeah, tell her you'd like to make it JUST you and her. If she can't accept it, then she's not the one for you.

No...I just call myself bi so I can take the social flak for being a guy who likes dick...

...of course I'm bi, for fuck's sake. So is she.

At the risk of being te clichéd totse member, but threesome?

Would you feel safer if you could be part of her interest in the pussy?

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

No...I just call myself bi so I can take the social flak for being a guy who likes dick...

...of course I'm bi, for fuck's sake. So is she.

It was a legitimate question, don't get fucking pissy.

If you're both really bi, and you share similar emotions, start being physical with some dudes? Show her the error of her ways? HOPEFULLY she'll get as hurt as you are, then a proper discussion will take place.

On the downside, if you are physical with guys, and she doesn't give a rat's ass, is that some one you want to be with?

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 02-19-2007).]

I dont see why you sent her off to explore her decadence on her own. This is actually a serious suggestion, even if it sounds a little taboo. But why dont you bring another girl into your sex life? It probably wouldnt be as threatening if you were there taking part. Most people have an unholy aversions to threesomes, but it would satisfy her needs, and I think you'd be able to deal with it a lot better. And you'd still be included and a part of it.

To me it seems like if she was in love with you/dedicated to you, then she wouldn't have even considered having sex with someone else.

I know how it is to feel like you should break up with someone, but you just can't bring yourself to do it, but come on man.

She had sex with a girl. She had sex with someone that wasn't you. Did she tell you before hand that you don't make her happy anymore?

I know you want someone to say some magical thing that will make everything better, but you know that can't happen. Just do what you think you should do.

I think you should break up with her. Anyone that has to have sex with other people is not nearly dedicated/in love enough with me. Just my opinion. Good luck. Stay sober.

I can only see it go downhill from here. I had a girlfriend like that, always bitching about how she wanted a chick and that was omg the hottest thing ever.

She's acting like a selfish spoiled slut. I would consider dumping her. The fact she even wants to in the first place says alot.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

...Love can withstand everything...

Maybe...in a sort of abstract way. As I've come to see it, you have "love" and you "love within a defined relationship". It is that relationship that cannot withstand "everything", because of our needs, insecurities, chosen life style, etc.

Relationships are more complicated than "love". Well, that's my two cents anyway.

I don't see how being "bi" all of the sudden allows you to have sex with another person other than your significant other. I mean, that's kind of swinger-ish.

I mean, if she was straight and she saw another guy that she found attractive, would she want you to allow her to fuck him too?

quote:Originally posted by ApocalypsePlease:

I don't see how being "bi" all of the sudden allows you to have sex with another person other than your significant other. I mean, that's kind of swinger-ish.

I mean, if she was straight and she saw another guy that she found attractive, would she want you to allow her to fuck him too?

QFT .

She slept with someone else . You could pull a nasty card on her ... shit i feel bad for even telling you this but ...

tell her that by saying "if you need to sleep with other people" you were testing just how much she cared for you and she has showed just how much you mean to her.

Shit just because your bi doesnt mean you dont have real relationships ...

EDIT : Accidental repeated post



[This message has been edited by inverted (edited 02-20-2007).]

Why not sleep with another guy? See how that makes her feel?

Just a thought.

Yeah, sleep with a dude. Most people when they realized they have been cheated on go through some sort of post traumatic stress that can be very dehabilitating. It's one of the deepest emotional injuries possible. I chose to swallow my pride and move on and it's worked out ok for me. You've got to get some kind of revenge though or you will hate yourself. And since you can't beat this girls ass, sleep with a dude or hell another chick. You'll feel better.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

My girlfriend...I love her. So much that I told her that if it was something she needed to make her happy, she should do something that I knew would hurt me. I thought I could handle it...I didn't know it'd hurt as much as it does.

She's bi. So am I. I told her that if she needed to sleep with a woman in order to be happy, than she should...I told her I could handle it. I didn't fucking know it'd hurt like this...I didn't fucking know.

My body feels drained, my mind confused, and my emotions are centered around sorrow and pain. I handled it fine until a thought hit me, the thought that I'm not enough for her to be happy with. I don't want to try to force her to be someone she's not; if she needs both man and woman to be happy, then that is what she needs to do...but I'm not the right man for her to be with if that's what she needs.

I don't want to break up with her...but I feel like I have to. I love her...but I love myself too...and while I can deal with most any personality quirk she has, I can't put myself through this continuously just so she will be happy.

I've been sober for half a year...not a single fucking craving since I got out of rehab until last night. I want some smack, some coke, and a good quart of rum...I feel fucking useless.

Part of me says I'm over-reacting...that I should see this as an oppurtunity for a threesome or some similar bullshit...but I don't. I don't want a fucking threesome; I was entirely happy with the relationship between the two of us...and it hurts like hell that she wasn't.

What say you, SnA? Am I over-reacting?





Flee!! Run for the fucking hills!



If fucking someone else makes her 'happy', that means that not being loyal to you makes her happy.

And YOU are the most important person here. She's going to keep doing this shit till it destroys you.



One word for you:

ESCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus you are a faggot.

Get over it. its just sex, it doesnt mean anything, if you think it does, you're an idiot.

Talk to her. Tell her everything about how you feel. That's the absolute most important thing. Get it all out with her. She probably didn't take "something you need to make you happy" quite literally.