I'm in love with my best friend. We've known each other for about 4 years but I've had these feelings for her since August. I cant talk to anyone because we have the same friends and I know that eventually word would get out and fuck up our friendship, which I truly value a lot. I really couldn't imagine my life without her. I really dont know what to do or who to talk to.

Since we are really close, she talks to me about her relationships, her dates, the guys she likes, etc. and all i can do do about it is bottle my feelings up and act like it doesnt affect me even though it kills me inside. All our friends have always said that we would make a cute couple.

One example is I was hanging out with her at her house last night and she was talking with her cousin about her date with some guy on St. Valentine's day and that she didn't know what to do with the guy she went out with and out of nowhere her cousin asks " Why don't you date (insert my name here)? He's a good guy and you'd make a great couple" to which she answered "I dont think it would work out. He's like me brother". I didnt show any reaction to this comment, as always, and she kept talking with her cousin.

I can't break communication with her until these feelings pass either because I see her practically everyday at uni. Since I know that jumping from the friends status into the boyfriend status is 99.9% impossible from previous experience, I know i can never tell her anything because our friendship will never be the same.

I'm really confused right now. I have absolutely no idea of how to act or what to do. This is really depressing me and i cant talk to anyone about it so i just bite my tongue and keep my feelings bottled up, even though i know it isnt healthy.

I'm sorry if u find this too boring or long. I just needed to get this off my chest because i'm going thru a lot of shit besides this. Thanks for reading for those of you who got this far. Any comments are appreciated.

[This message has been edited by treasureintheattic (edited 02-19-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by treasureintheattic:

Since I know that jumping from the friends status into the boyfriend status is 99.9% impossible from previous experience

It can be done. I've tried it once, and succeeded once. 100% success rate?

I'll explain how really quickly: She sees you as a friend only currently. To change her opinion, you'll need to be out of her life for a while. So her perception of you becomes hazy. Then you come back and have a clean(ish) slate to build on.

My friend had the same problem what he did was he invited her to a party not a huge party just a small party with some people that she really didn't hang out with so she spent the whole night with him and they started talking she started drinking 1 or 2 or 7 beers and the next thing you know they were making out at the back of the room. things have been going fine ever since.

arquin: My success rate in these situation has been 0% which is kind of the reason as to why i'm insecure about what to do in this kind of thing and i cant do what you did because we see each other every day because we have a class together.

psycho5885: she doesn't drink.

Thanks for the advise though, i really appreciate it.

quote:Originally posted by treasureintheattic:

arquin: My success rate in these situation has been 0% which is kind of the reason as to why i'm insecure about what to do in this kind of thing and i cant do what you did because we see each other every day because we have a class together.

Are you good at fucking up, then redeeming your self?

If so, act like some thing's wrong, and that you don't want to talk to her any more. So you have the same class together? Just sit on the other side of the room to her.

Meh...just stating what worked for me.

This reminds me of A line in the hit song,"Ever fallen in love(with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?)"By The BUZZCOCKS,

You spurn my natural emotions

You make me feel like dirt

And I'm hurt

And if I start a commotion

I run the risk of losing you

And that's worse



What that means is If you tell her what you think you may lose her,and that may not be worth it to lose her love,and then her friendship.

If you tell her,and she doesn't want to be with you,she wont take you seriously anymore.

On the other hand,she could go for it,but you will have to go through the same crap as every other couple.

The question is,Do you value her friendship,or her possible love for you?

Her friendship is there,but her love may not be.Don't throw away your friendship for a possible hookup.She loves you like a brother,not a boyfriend,you would put her in an awkward position if you told her.

If you really think she is the one for you,think of what you could lose.

"And if I start a commotion

I run the risk of losing you

And that's worse"

Thats my 2 cents...

Same thing happened to me.....

[This message has been edited by gibson lespaul (edited 02-19-2007).]

Me too.

quote:Originally posted by psycho5885 v2.0:

My friend had the same problem what he did was he invited her to a party not a huge party just a small party with some people that she really didn't hang out with so she spent the whole night with him and they started talking she started drinking 1 or 2 or 7 beers and the next thing you know they were making out at the back of the room. things have been going fine ever since.

I have a virtually the smae story.

OP, do this.

quote:Originally posted by treasureintheattic:

i'm going thru a lot of shit besides this.



No you're not, you just think you are because you have such an insanely fortunate life you were brought up to believe that you could actually have problems.

You don't have lukemia.

You aren't starving to death.

You have a house.

you have food.

you have clean water.

You most likely do not suffer from the threat of grevious bodily harm and/or rape daily.

you're very unlikely to die for at least 60 years.

You even have a computer and an internet connection.

You have no problems.

im sure things are really tough with your family/friends/place of work/place of tutorage/mental health/substance abuse problem [delete where applicable]. but really, those arent even beginning to be problems.

Dont fucking whine. Get some fucking perspective on life. you have it easy, WAY fucking easy.

Faggots like you dont deserve your priveleged position. i wont pretend to know you, but judging by the fact you've had a semi for this slut for quite some time and said nothing you gain my fucking contempt.

Keeping this shit up is fucking retarded. Fucks like you creep me out, just say how you feel, so what, you lose your friendship, you dont get to stare at this girls tits when shes not looking, who gives a fuck, try living a life with a bit of honesty and integrity.

quote:Originally posted by -Mephisto-:

No you're not, you just think you are because you have such an insanely fortunate life you were brought up to believe that you could actually have problems.

You don't have lukemia.

Wouldn't you just feel like such a dick if he did have lukemia?

quote:Originally posted by -Mephisto-:



Dont fucking whine. Get some fucking perspective on life. you have it easy, WAY fucking easy.



I don't think you can really say that one person's sadness or pain is greater than another's, since it's all relative. To somebody who HAS leukemia, it might seem like he's got it easy, but for him, life kind of sucks right now.

to OP:

I agree with what arquin said about being out of her life for a while, but I don't know man... if she said right in front of you that she only wants to be friends, she probably REALLY only wants to be friends. Though, it might not affect the friendship as much as you think it will. I've been in that girl's situation a few times (most girls have at some point), with close guy friends liking me, but we always work through it and stay close friends.

Anyone seen the movie JUST FRIENDS? Well the end is pretty much true. I mean although for the most part lots of people are just ugly and won't be more then JUST friends a lot of the time its just insecurity that makes you think you don't have a chance. Looking back at a few times where I was JUST FRIENDS and going over some of the stuff that happend I realize there was lots of times where it could have been MORE Then friends if I hadn't gone about the attitude of Shes to good why would she want me. At the time I didn't do one thing or another because I was afraid of rejection but looking back it would have probably gone the way I wanted had I taken that risk. Don't always get down on yourself.

I brought up the movie Just Friends because near the end they sleep in the same bed and shes practically throwing herself at him yet hes to dumb to take the hints.

Best advice is to get into a situation where a kiss could insue and DONT TELL HER how you feel SHOW IT. If you tell her how you feel you are just fucking up because you will probably come of desperate from my experince a girl would be more likly to like it if you just kiss her then if you say "BLANK i love you and your the greatest and the best and I wish we could be more then best friends and I love you and other sweet sappy NICE GUY bull shit".