What is it that makes women able to wilfully stay in abusive relationships? Can anyone answer this?

My girlfriend's mother's boyfriend treats her like shit, destroys things around the house, has trashed her car when he thought she was cheating, and mentally abuses her like you wouldn't believe. She has plenty, PLENTY of money to move out on her own. What the fuck makes these women tolerate this shit?

They don't leave because they know that if they try to, they could be abused even more.



No woman likes abuse, retard.

The 'in' and PC answer would be fear/male dominance but in truth it has more to do with addiction than anything else.

quote:Originally posted by ductape:

They don't leave because they know that if they try to, they could be abused even more.



No woman likes abuse, retard.



Ya think?

quote:Originally posted by ductape:

They don't leave because they know that if they try to, they could be abused even more.



No woman likes abuse, retard.

I didn't say she LIKED it, asshat. But she is fucking tolerating it. And believe me, she's a completely successful woman. There'd be no money issues whatsoever.

If my wife/girlfriend ever smashed my car's windshield, be it an old Fiesta or a Rolls Royce, I'd divorce her SO fast it'd make her fucking head spin. Yet this idiot continually puts up with this moron's shit year after year. My girlfriend talks to me about this and I just stop caring after a while. She's as responsible for the abuse at this point. She's wilfully staying in the relationship for no fucking reason.

I hope he beats her near death. Maybe then she'll realize hey, maybe i SHOULDN'T be around this asshole.

Maybe you could just kick the shit out of the boyfriend, to learn the motherfucker a lesson?

People who think that life boils down to money amuse me.

There is a lot more to life. Honest.

There are a million possible reasons. Why not ask her about it?

Weak and stupid.

Dependent, clingy, pathetic.

Useless, neurotic and broken.

More?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

People who think that life boils down to money amuse me.

There is a lot more to life. Honest.

There are a million possible reasons. Why not ask her about it?

I was just stating that she doesn't "need" him for financial support, therefor eliminating that as an excuse.

quote:Originally posted by ZeroMalarki:

Maybe you could just kick the shit out of the boyfriend, to learn the motherfucker a lesson?



I'm planning on marrying this girl in the next year or so... so yeah, I don't necessarily wanna kick his ass. Not that I wouldn't want to, I'd love to club that moron over the head with a baseball bat when he's asleep or something.

"Attraction is not a choice." -David DeAngelo

Maybe she deserves it

This is pretty much it:

http://www.theonion.com/content/point/this_man_obviously_has_substance

You must be a fucking retard if you think girls don't like being abused. They do, have you ever just been an all around prick to a girl and she just pulls the "*giggle* I hate you *giggle*".

It's so stupid, but that's just how it is.

Some quick reasons.

1. She feels need to be punished.

2. She likes the drama.

3. Wants to be felt sorry for.

4. Is a masochist.

5. Loves the guy.

6. Truly fears repercuations.

7. Just "needs" somebody to feel happy.

8. Can't stand to think they failed in changing a man.

9. She may be just as violent as the man.

10. In denial about the abuse.

11. Has children with him.

12. He may be blackmailing her/him somehow.

13. Has mental conditions of some form.

14. Doesn't want to start over.

ETC...

quote:Originally posted by prozak_jack:

You must be a fucking retard if you think girls don't like being abused. They do, have you ever just been an all around prick to a girl and she just pulls the "*giggle* I hate you *giggle*".

It's so stupid, but that's just how it is.

Being an "all around prick" is vastly different than smashing in her car's windshield, destroying her possessions, and mental abuse.

Women love all that shit. Chances are he's a typical rugged construction worker type, and every time he goes on one of his senseless destruction sprees she gets wet in her pants.

Women who have money to support themselves generally go for these types of guys, over the quiet, less violent family-man. Why? Because they have a choice and the respectful guys who still believe they should treat a woman like their mama told them to are too boring for them.

[This message has been edited by VladimirIllyichLenin (edited 02-17-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by ZeroMalarki:

Maybe you could just kick the shit out of the boyfriend, to learn the motherfucker a lesson?

That doesn't work. Walking out of a party to my friend's car one night we saw a couple (one of the guys with us was a good friend of the girl's) arguing. He slapped her, and three of the four of us proceeded to kick the shit out of him without a second thought. She walked him to their car and drove home with him not ten minutes later.

Kind of depressing, really.

quote:Originally posted by Dedraic:

That doesn't work. Walking out of a party to my friend's car one night we saw a couple (one of the guys with us was a good friend of the girl's) arguing. He slapped her, and three of the four of us proceeded to kick the shit out of him without a second thought. She walked him to their car and drove home with him not ten minutes later.

Kind of depressing, really.

Mind your own business. 3 guys on one, you're not tough or heroic.

what keeps them from leaving..

.. and illusion called love?

[This message has been edited by jai614 (edited 02-18-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

Women love all that shit. Chances are he's a typical rugged construction worker type, and every time he goes on one of his senseless destruction sprees she gets wet in her pants.

Yeah, I know I'd go crazy if my boyfriend started beating the shit out of me and mentally abusing me.

Treat a girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.

Sup double post?

EDIT: k fine delete it, you're not fooling anyone funny man

[This message has been edited by Indulgence (edited 02-18-2007).]

Ok once again I dont normally talk shit about people that have no true clue about life but this whole post has got me wondering if any of you have ever had a real relationship or if you keep fucking your hands for the rest of your lives because you can abuse it and it wont hit you back. Ok not all of you but the ones who think women like the shit know who I am talkin about.

Now why do women stay with guys like this? Well some of them where abused by there dads and first true loves so they think that its the way it is supposed to be. The others ..... well I cant tell you that one. I dont truely think anyone but those women could. None of us truely understand it. As far as kicking his ass yeah well that would be retrubution (sp) but then she would be pissed with you and you would probably lose your GF because of her mother.

The rest of you that dont know any better. I know a couple of women that would love for you to treat them like shit or hit them so they could kick the shit out of you. Just wait there are women out there now that are getting tired of it and are hitting back or hiring people to do it for them.

JohnnyReb271, amen. I have never been abused by anyone, parent or boyfriend, so if there is ever a wiff of mistreatment directed towards me I either totally lose interest in the person, or I shut that shit down. But then I am usually attracted to incredibly masculine types that don't blame all the split tails for their inability to function in society.

One of my brothers was dating a girl that had a "history". When they first started going out I told him to get ready for some drama. And not two weeks later, she had some kind of melt down and kept calling him a "faggot" while throwing shit all over her room because he didn't care if she was hanging out all night with her friends. So he dumped her and moved on. Her next boyfriend broke a few of her ribs and drove her car into a street sign. They are still together. She isn't a bad or "submisive" person, but she is use to the abuse and only feels "loved" when a guy is losing his fucking mind if she doesn't pick up the phone fast enough.

Seems like men are victims of this bullshit too. If you can only react like a three year old every time your signifigant other does something to make you feel insecure, you are just as weak willed and dominated as she is.

my ex of 3 years left me for some guy that beats her and ridicules her calls her a whore and a slut yada yada yada, but she won't leave him because, HE doesn' have anywhere else to go...sounds pretty lame to me...she'll call me from time to time bitching about it...but I have long since stopped caring....I also find it funny because I had a friend in the same situation and she would always talk shit about how dumb my friend was for not leaving...go figure

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Weak and stupid.

Dependent, clingy, pathetic.

Useless, neurotic and broken.

More?

That covers it all entirely...

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Sorry, I got bored reading the thread, but I know a girl who got raped by this asshole (my friend actually fought him yesterday), but she still thinks she loves him! I dont understand it either, but at this point, I think shes an idiot.

I read somewhere that these types of situations could be from bonding during stressful situations. Something like a stressful event occurs adn the becuase of the stress you sort of develop a strong feeling for that person. Sorta like the mroe shit you go through the more you care for that person. It's not really love but you can mistake it for such.

Anyway. My advice. Stay out of domestic disputes. They may have internal conflict but the moment you turn on the man trying to play the hero, the chick will freak. She may complain about him alot and you may think she really wants out, but she'll sitck up for him no matter what he does to her, if she sees any threat to her man. So yeah. Stop pushing your morals and ideals upon others. Mind your own god damned buisness and worry about yourself becuase in all likeyhood you're fucking up somewhere and not noticing it.

quote:Originally posted by Leduc:

That covers it all entirely...

Couldn't have said it better myself.



Then it's good that you didn't say it.

Trying to understand is one thing, making assumptions and forcing your beliefs on others is quite another.

Some men get into abusive relationships too. It's just that the manner of abuse might differ somewhat.

So, why would a man stay?

Sometimes women are too damaged by abusive relationships to be able to handle life outside them.

If someone completely destroys your self esteem, making you think that you're entirely dependent on them, it's not a question of just getting up and leaving. Money or no money.

Edit: oc6 is right, it works both ways. Women can be much more subtly manipulative. Dependency, same deal.

Jx

[This message has been edited by Jessic (edited 02-18-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Jessic:

Dependency.



I think it goes deeper than that.

I think...it just might be what you grow up with as love and expressions of love.

well you know what. Women and men can both be in abusive relationships and the reason why they dont leave (mostly women) is because they think that they can "change" them with their love. or they will make up this excuse like "but i know he still love's me" or " he/she is just a very angry person but i still know he love's me"

what they do is tell themselves that that its not going to happen again because that what the abuser may tell them and they believe this. they just deny it all.

or another thing that could happen is that the abused could leave but just have their husband or wife come crawling back promising that it will never happen again. and most women will fall for promises because of security issues.

so that is all they reason why i know women or men would be in an abusive relationships because they dont know how to get away. its all through manipulation and suck thing's.

~gecko

quote:Originally posted by Indulgence:

Being an "all around prick" is vastly different than smashing in her car's windshield, destroying her possessions, and mental abuse.

That's not the point, the point is that they like it. I'm not a misogynist, this is how it is.

Plus women are weird and fucking complicated and think that they can't get another guy so they stick with whichever shitty one they have already.

quote:Originally posted by prozak_jack:

That's not the point, the point is that they like it. I'm not a misogynist, but this is how I think it is.

Plus I think women are weird and fucking complicated and I think that they believe they can't get another guy so they stick with whichever shitty one they have already.

Fixed. Now you only have an opinion.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 02-18-2007).]

Women who leave abusive relationships are at a much higher risk of being killed then while staying in the relationship. If a man is beating you, and threatening to kill you, the fear is real and it is paralyzing. I am glad that you don't understand what it's like to stay with somebody out of fear, and hopefully, you will never have to.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Fixed. Now you only have an opinion.

But I'm glad that you hold all of the keys to all of the doors, and speak only divine wisdom and infallible truth.

quote:Originally posted by xannex:

Women who leave abusive relationships are at a much higher risk of being killed then while staying in the relationship.

Just as people who actively rebel against dictatorships are at a higher chance of being killed than those that accept it. In either case it is just a better reason to be well armed.

It's because your mom is a retard and deserves to get abused. She spawned you, that's a good enough reason to get slapped, IIRC.