I swear to fucking God, if I hear one more person bitch about their shyness or their antisocialness, I'm gonna scream in their thread.

Look, I'm antisocial myself. Hell if I dont talk to people enough and go out enough, I go back into my hole and remain anti-social. So here's how I'm dealing with it:

1) If I see friends at the galley (cafeteria), I try to eat with them and talk. Even if I barely know them. Granted, there are days where I just want to eat alone, so I try to do it at least once a day.

2) I'm trying to do one social activity per day. Eating with friends count, but try to do more. For example, have a friend over at your room, or go see a movie with one. I'm thinking about getting my only 2 other classmates together so we can bond and kick butt for the next 8 weeks.

Hell if your really desperate, pick up smoking. Smokers are the gossipers here, because rain, snow or sunshine, they're only allowed to smoke outside in specific areas.

Other tips: Play pool (billiards), challenge others. When you realize you got your ass handed to you, ask for advice.

Find activities that force you to interact. Hell join the military or an organization that forces you to work together.

The fact of the matter is, your not going to wake up and be the most popular guy. No girl is going to come up to you when your sitting in a corner and go "Hey! Lets fuck!" --and if she does, thats probably a red flag. Granted, some girls will socialize with you because your quiet, but more than likely, you'll only be "just friends"

So take action, and force yourself to be social.

stop bitching. if your writing about me, its about women and shyness towards certain situations. if its about gibson lespaul then I agree he should know how to make friends.

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

The fact of the matter is, your not going to wake up and be the most popular guy.

I did. So fuck you.

Tip of the day: Grow some balls.

The only thing which prevents me from doing social activites is the fact that I blush, and it tears me up on the inside.

I dug the billiards idea, that was good. Thanks.

I agree with your advice, apart from the picking up smoking, lol.

I was painfully shy growing up, but I've gotten over it somewhat by just putting myself out there. The more social you are, the easier it gets.

bump

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

The fact of the matter is, your not going to wake up and be the most popular guy.

If you wake up and feel like you are, you will be.

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

bump

dont flatter yourself. its not THAT great of a thread.

Yeah, and the thing is that people seem to have this idea that you're either a party animal who's getting laid all the time or a reclusive nerd with no friends. A lot of the advice people give in these threads kind of imply that bullshit idea.

It doesn't have to be that way, shy people. I'm a fairly introverted person myself, I don't have a huge group of friends, I don't go to clubs every weekend or get laid very often -- but I have a small tight group of friends (way more satisfying to me than having a shitload of casual friends/acquaintances) who I can talk about/do pretty much anything with, I can pursue romantic/sexual interests with decent skill and poise when the opportunity arises, and I still have time to chill by myself and post on totse, fap to Magic School Bus porn, etc...

You just have to start small and gradually edge your way out of your comfort zone -- straight up jumping in the water and trying really hard to make friends will just make you look like a fag who's desperate for social approval, which is definitely not an attractive feature to either potential friends or potential intimates.

I think shy people tend to have too high expectations for themselves socially, based on shitty advice given by outgoing extroverts.

If you're an outgoing extroverted person who has never had any problems with being shy or socially anxious, you should really stay out of these kind of threads, because most of you don't understand how deeply rooted this shit is in someone who grew up as shy/asocial/etc. , and your advice fucking sucks. "Just man up and hit some bars, it's not that hard dude" -- do you even realize how little sense this makes to someone who's been intensely self-conscious and socially anxious all their life? It's ridiculous.

[This message has been edited by deadteenager (edited 02-17-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by deadteenager:

Yeah, and the thing is that people seem to have this idea that you're either a party animal who's getting laid all the time or a reclusive nerd with no friends. A lot of the advice people give in these threads kind of imply that bullshit idea.

It doesn't have to be that way, shy people. I'm a fairly introverted person myself, I don't have a huge group of friends, I don't go to clubs every weekend or get laid very often -- but I have a small tight group of friends (way more satisfying to me than having a shitload of casual friends/acquaintances) who I can talk about/do pretty much anything with, I can pursue romantic/sexual interests with decent skill and poise when the opportunity arises, and I still have time to chill by myself and post on totse, fap to Magic School Bus porn, etc...

You just have to start small and gradually edge your way out of your comfort zone -- straight up jumping in the water and trying really hard to make friends will just make you look like a fag who's desperate for social approval, which is definitely not an attractive feature to either potential friends or potential intimates.

I think shy people tend to have too high expectations for themselves socially, based on shitty advice given by outgoing extroverts.

If you're an outgoing extroverted person who has never had any problems with being shy or socially anxious, you should really stay out of these kind of threads, because most of you don't understand how deeply rooted this shit is in someone who grew up as shy/asocial/etc. , and your advice fucking sucks. "Just man up and hit some bars, it's not that hard dude" -- do you even realize how little sense this makes to someone who's been intensely self-conscious and socially anxious all their life? It's ridiculous.



thats pretty good. you hit it on the head.

but I was prescribed anxiety meds a month ago and its opened me up. its all about worrying what not to say and if its the wrong or right time. at least for me it was. sometimes all you have to do is learn to speak louder, that helped with one of my friends.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

I did. So fuck you.

QFT

Life is tough on everyone, and if you're living too fear based then your just gonna need a strong lead. I reccomened you do something extreme, ROLLER COASTERS can give you a temporary boost up to where you feel invinsible. You can create that emotion, by imagining it too.

quote:Originally posted by 40ozcasualty:

dont flatter yourself. its not THAT great of a thread.

Oh will you shut the fuck up already jeez. Yes, the thread was made shortly after seeing yours. But I figured "why not give everyone my advice" which I was going to give to you anyways. Hang around totse for another six months and you'll start to notice certain problems that we introverts have in common. So why not help each other out in a very sociable world.

don't quote this.

quote:Originally posted by PoPcOrN PeOpLe:

don't quote this.

Don't quote what?

quote:Originally posted by Byss:

Don't quote what?

you=failure

Shy people are shy people, it's not something that you can change. You shouldn't even feel the need to change it. Notice that like everything, it has it's ups and downs. When a quiet person steps up and says something, people listen alot more closely and give it twice as much consideration. Shy people can have fun at bars, they can be popular, and yes, they can definitely get laid. Quit crying.

*insert apology here*

I think that this kind of thing will happen anytime you have a forum concerning people's interactions with others.

But, yes, you're right.

However, I am a firm believer that even though the advice you give is good, nobody will follow it because they think that it doesn't apply to them, or that it won't work... pretty much make excuses not to do it because it requires a change in personality.

Somebody in this forum once said that it's easier to change your personality than your looks. With all due respect, I think they were dead wrong.

Liquid confidence. Also known as alcohol.

quote:Originally posted by deadteenager:

If you're an outgoing extroverted person who has never had any problems with being shy or socially anxious, you should really stay out of these kind of threads, because most of you don't understand how deeply rooted this shit is in someone who grew up as shy/asocial/etc. , and your advice fucking sucks. "Just man up and hit some bars, it's not that hard dude" -- do you even realize how little sense this makes to someone who's been intensely self-conscious and socially anxious all their life? It's ridiculous.



QFT. In a sense, it's like trying to explain the concept of color to a blind person.



quote:Liquid confidence. Also known as alcohol. But you don't want to over do it and make yourself look like an ass.

[This message has been edited by thatcoolkid (edited 02-18-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by deadteenager:

quote:Originally posted by 40ozcasualty:

stop bitching. if your writing about me, its about women and shyness towards certain situations. if its about gibson lespaul then I agree he should know how to make friends.

Thats why I posted that thread in the first place.