kinda long, but worth a read...

so, been dating my gf for about 1.5ish years, i'm 20, she's 19. been having sex since month 6, neither of us were virgins.

well, me being naive to what sex is like without a condom, i talked my girlfriend into trying it for a little bit, just to try it (only for a minute or two at a time). it blew my mind.

later on, we eventually started using condoms less and less (however i would not let myself get anywhere near ejaculation as to be safe). this was pretty good, but it was always disappointing having to put a condom on before finishing. it was also quite risky despite the amount of precautions we took (no recent ejaculations, shortly before/after her period, withdrawing way way way before anywhere even close, etc.).

so i've become spoiled to the point that i'd really rather just not have sex than to have to wear a condom. i've also decided we can't really continue running this gamble every time we have sex without one, only to end with a disappointment on my side, as well as on hers occasionally (sometimes she wouldn't be able to get off because i'd have to start/stop so often to control ejaculation, or sometimes when i put a condom on it would take forever to get off).

unfortunately, my gf is not too keen on just about any of the other birth control methods. she doesn't like the drugs, she's afraid of side effects plus permanent infertility. she won't get an IUD because she thinks having the minor operation to have on inserted is a bit too overboard. 'rhythm' methods are unreliable at best and take too much work, having to track temperatures, days, mucus secretions, etc. she won't get a diaphragm because they require a fitting, aren't entirely reliable, and can be a pain to put in/take out.

needless to say, its kinda disappointing on both sides being in a young, strong, and relatively 'fresh' relationship without sex. its like being in a sexless marriage.

although i agree with my gf, if she doesn't want to do any of the forms of birth control available to her, she shouldn't have to. but that works both ways, in that i shouldn't have to wear a condom if i don't want to either.

if there were birth control methods for men that weren't as permanent as a vasectomy, i'd glady have them done. the RISUG would work well, if it were available but unfortunately its still in development.

so totse... what 'ta do?

other things i've considered:

*oral sex. it would work, if she were good at it. unfortunately she isn't, and i don't think she'll ever be.

*anal sex. she said no. thats the end of that.

*the 'heat' method of temporary sterilization of men. might work, but there doesn't appear to be enough research on it to make it reliable.

*mutual masterbation. just seems stupid to me.



[This message has been edited by DeusFacticius (edited 02-16-2007).]

ok, well, if your girlfriend is stupid enough to have sex without birth control, then she doesn't deserve sex. what is her opposition to the pill or the patch? they're 2 of the easiest forms of female birth control out there. there are pills that are so low-dose that there are virtually no side-effects whatsoever. umm...permanent infertility? you can get pregnant if you miss ONE pill. after you stop taking it alltogether, you're basically just as fertile as ever after a month.

i'm sorry, but if you two want to continue having sex, either you need to wear a condom--which, fair enough, i would rather my boyfriend not do either, so i see where you're coming from--or she needs to get on some form of birth control. what the hell is she afraid is going to happen? would it be worse than a baby? with the amount of accidental pregnancies that occur every single day, you just can't afford to have unprotected sex, period.

Damn, not worth a read at all. Just two very dumb kids experimenting, dad(2b).

She won't even use a Today Sponge?

That sucks, I always liked head a lot better than sex.

quote:Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:

She won't even use a Today Sponge?

sponge's have a reputation for failing, so neither of us really want to try that.

quote:what is her opposition to the pill or the patch? they're 2 of the easiest forms of female birth control out there. there are pills that are so low-dose that there are virtually no side-effects whatsoever. umm...permanent infertility? you can get pregnant if you miss ONE pill. after you stop taking it alltogether, you're basically just as fertile as ever after a month.

i've tried telling her that. but then she gives me a shpeal about her parents would be disappointed in her if they found out she was taking bc. she thinks she would only go on them once she was engaged to a guy.

and of course i'm thinking, 'well, if you're not ready for birth control, are you really even ready for sex'? as well as thinking how silly that is to go on it once engaged... thats usually when women go OFF the bc.

but if i said those things, i'd have to deal with hours of her being all pouty and saying "i'm fine" when she really isn't.

quote:Originally posted by Aseren:

Damn, not worth a read at all. Just two very dumb kids experimenting, dad(2b).

i spent days researching the effectiveness of the withdrawl method, and contradicting popular belief, its actually quite safe, if you have the self-discipline to know how close is too close.

Sounds like you're whipped up by a stubborn and unreasonable girlfriend. Been thre my friend.

quote:Originally posted by DeusFacticius:

i've tried telling her that. but then she gives me a shpeal about her parents would be disappointed in her if they found out she was taking bc. she thinks she would only go on them once she was engaged to a guy.

and of course i'm thinking, 'well, if you're not ready for birth control, are you really even ready for sex'? as well as thinking how silly that is to go on it once engaged... thats usually when women go OFF the bc.

but if i said those things, i'd have to deal with hours of her being all pouty and saying "i'm fine" when she really isn't.

so i wonder if her parents would be less disappointed if she, say, had a CHILD.

i hate to be the one to tell you this but your girlfriend is an unreasonable nutcase. if she has views/morals/whatever like this pertaining to birth control, she shouldn't be having sex. god. IDIOT. she's putting both of you at risk for something that could change your lives, and being very immature while she does it.

i say cut off sex. all sex. just cut her right off. seriously, i'm not kidding.

They carry the child, they make the decision whether or not to do it.

Unfortunately that also means they got you by the balls if you want sex.

Seeing as you've been together so long, I think she's an idiot for letting her parent's ideals influence her. It's SEX, not the apocalypse.

Deal with the negative effects of a condom, stop having sex, or get on BC, it's that simple.

I totally feel you. Sex with a condom just isnt worth it. And I've had just about as much luck as you have with getting her on the pill. She was for a few months, and they were the best months of our relationship, but they gave her really bad cramps and she had to stop.

And an important side note: Women are LEAST fertile right before/after their periods. Its the week or so right in the middle of periods that you have to watch out for. Or maybe I misread that.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:



i say cut off sex. all sex. just cut her right off. seriously, i'm not kidding.

quote:Deal with the negative effects of a condom, stop having sex, or get on BC, it's that simple.

well thats pretty much what its come down to. we haven't had sex now in over a month because i don't want to risk it anymore, and like the topic says, i'd rather just not have sex than have to wear a condom. thus my dilemma and hopeful search for alternatives as presented by totse...

Here's a thought: Propose

I mean, if your gonna ruin your lives, do it in style!

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

Here's a thought: Propose

I mean, if your gonna ruin your lives, do it in style!

QFMFT!

The Blues are truth , baby.

Your girlfriend fucking sucks. Get a new one.

get cut i mean then you can pound her long and hard and if she wants kids just store some cum

I would have sex with a big piece of foam wrapped around my cock.

But she is being unreasonable.