Is it possible to be infatuated with someone for over a year? I've been 'in love' with her since the day I met her. But I'm starting to think that its all in my head.

Thoughts?

Yes it is. I am going through exactly the same dilemma. Do you have MSN btw?

I've been very fond of someone for what, 7 years now. Oddly enough, I don't even particularly want to fuck her. Can't figure out what it's about

quote:Originally posted by don_stracci:

Yes it is. I am going through exactly the same dilemma. Do you have MSN btw?

will_likes_pink_pillows@hotmail.com

(don't ask)

<_<

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

I've been very fond of someone for what, 7 years now. Oddly enough, I don't even particularly want to fuck her. Can't figure out what it's about

Same with me. I don't just want to fuck her, it's more than that. But I just don't know.

You'd call that "limerence", I guess. Intense feelings of romantic love towards someone with sexual attraction being only a peripheral component.

wiki-woo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that:

-Love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling, while limerence does not require it.

-Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return.

-Sex with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction.

-Limerence is much longer-lived than feelings such as infatuation, romantic passion, and puppy love, enduring for months or even years.

-Limerence can have low-level periods which would not be considered infatuation.

Components:

-intrusive thinking about the limerent object

-acute longing for reciprocation

-some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means reciprocation

-fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence

-intensification through adversity

-acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object

-an aching in the chest or stomach when uncertainty is strong

-buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident

-a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background

-a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute.

I had a girl who i was in love with for 6 months, then we dated. YAY!!! don't give up

Yes, it's very possible.

I was in love with a girl for 4 straight years. I pretty much ruined my entire high school career because of her (well, her, and then the homelessness, that didn't help...). It was horrible.

I haven't seen her in 2 years, and haven't spoken with her in a year and a half, so I've just assumed that I'd moved on.

Until about 2 weeks ago, I was walking through the grocery store and a girl stepped in front of me that reminded me of her for some reason. And ever since then, I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. I guess those feelings just don't go away.

Of course, I'm not going to act on those feelings, because we're not meant to be, and because I'm a pussy, so meh.

Long story short- yes it's possible, you're not alone, it sucks, either do something about it or repress it.

quote:Originally posted by robinhoody:

Yes, it's very possible.

I was in love with a girl for 4 straight years. I pretty much ruined my entire high school career because of her (well, her, and then the homelessness, that didn't help...). It was horrible.

I haven't seen her in 2 years, and haven't spoken with her in a year and a half, so I've just assumed that I'd moved on.

Until about 2 weeks ago, I was walking through the grocery store and a girl stepped in front of me that reminded me of her for some reason. And ever since then, I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. I guess those feelings just don't go away.

Of course, I'm not going to act on those feelings, because we're not meant to be, and because I'm a pussy, so meh.

Long story short- yes it's possible, you're not alone, it sucks, either do something about it or repress it.

That helps. Should I talk to her about it?

I've been into the same girl for 6 or so years, it's ridiculously complicated, though.

quote:Originally posted by Synkk:

That helps. Should I talk to her about it? Depends on if she's a friend or not.

You need to remember that if you talk to her about it, your relationship will change forever. If she's a good friend, you need to ask yourself if it's worth losing your friendship over. That's one of the reasons I never pursued my girl. She was my best friend, and my lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and self-hatred all convinced me that there was no way in hell she'd feel the same way, and I was terrified of losing her forever, so I kept my mouth shut, and bottled everything up. Probably not healthy, but it worked for me. Wow. Typing this all out really reinforces how much of a pussy I am/was.

If she's not a close friend, then I don't see why not.

quote:Originally posted by robinhoody:

Depends on if she's a friend or not.

You need to remember that if you talk to her about it, your relationship will change forever. If she's a good friend, you need to ask yourself if it's worth losing your friendship over. That's one of the reasons I never pursued my girl. She was my best friend, and my lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and self-hatred all convinced me that there was no way in hell she'd feel the same way, and I was terrified of losing her forever, so I kept my mouth shut, and bottled everything up. Probably not healthy, but it worked for me. Wow. Typing this all out really reinforces how much of a pussy I am/was.

If she's not a close friend, then I don't see why not.



I like to think of us as close friends. And she has a boyfriend, anyway.

:/

What are the chances of you ever having her?

Think you could maybeeee accept that nothing will ever go on between the two of you and that you might aswell find a new girl?

quote:Originally posted by Isobutane:

What are the chances of you ever having her?

Think you could maybeeee accept that nothing will ever go on between the two of you and that you might aswell find a new girl?

I've tried that... many times. It's just not the same. No matter what I do (other girls, drugs, alcohol) I can't get her out of my head.

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

I've been very fond of someone for what, 7 years now. Oddly enough, I don't even particularly want to fuck her. Can't figure out what it's about

its about wanting a relationship, plain and simple. someone just to be with, per say.

quote:Originally posted by 40ozcasualty:

its about wanting a relationship, plain and simple. someone just to be with, per say.

That's really pathetic

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

That's really pathetic

hey, its not me, its him.

quote:Originally posted by Isobutane:

Think you could maybeeee accept that nothing will ever go on between the two of you and that you might aswell find a new girl?I did that two years ago, but then out of the blue, the feelings came flooding back.

My point is that the advice is sensible, and is really the only thing you can do, but it's often easier said than done.

quote:Originally posted by robinhoody:

but it's often easier said than done.

Exxxxactly.

I talked to her. I was pretty blunt about how I felt. (i didnt say anything about being this way) I just talked to her about how I trusted her and she trusted me. Pretty much measuring our friends status.

I really do like her. :\

I just had that feeling go away between me and my gf. Be happy you still have it. Go fo it or your regret it\second guess yourself. I remember avoiding to ask out this girl in 7th grade...I moved but for most of the summer I was thinking about what I could have done. Go for it, trust me, its easier.

I believe its known as stalking.

quote:Originally posted by CptnCrackHound:

Here are the guidelines:

1. The SIX MONTH RULE: Most girls you get tired of fucking after 6 months.

2. The TWO YEAR RULE: This is for the girl who makes it past the 6 month rule. After two years your relationship is done, even if you are married. One of the two will be seeking sex outside of the marriage. This is just the fucking truth.

3. The GOOD LOOK GIRL RULE: For every good looking girl out there, there is some guy who is tired of fucking her.

hehe...i lol'd cuz this has some truth to it